FabSwingers.com forum: If sex with you...

By *ickshawed OP Couple
over a year ago

Wolverhampton

If sex with you was a funfair ride, which one would you be and why?

Bonus points if your answer makes me snort liquid out my nose

I'd be a pirate ship. You get a steady rhythm, plenty of ups and downs, and occasionally someone will scream or cry

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By *odgerMooreMan
over a year ago

Carlisle

Mines like the worlds longest roller coaster - makes lots of people vomit and they wish it would just finish so they can get off xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

whatever the name of the ride is where you're strapped in to the cart things and they're on arms and they fling you around up down left right backwards forwards.

not doing this very well.

but basically the psychotic fairground ride...that.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Id be the wurlizter.

We'd both be thrown around for a few minutes, then throw up.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The Tea Cups.

Gentle, serene and popular with grannies.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We’d be the Waltzers.. quite fast and makes the world around you spin, when you leave you’ll be dizzy and have jelly legs!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The dodgems.

Wait for ages. It’s very bumpy. Very hit and miss. Over in a few minutes and I ache for days afterwards.

Badger

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"whatever the name of the ride is where you're strapped in to the cart things and they're on arms and they fling you around up down left right backwards forwards.

not doing this very well.

but basically the psychotic fairground ride...that.

Px "

A duck we wouldn’t mind hooking

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The big dipper starts on a high,ends on a low

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By *UFSWoman
over a year ago

belfast

The lucky ones might get to ride the roller coaster

The rest won't even get to spin the tea cups

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By *odgerMooreMan
over a year ago

Carlisle

"The lucky ones might get to ride the roller coaster

The rest won't even get to spin the tea cups

Can i have something stuffed on your bottom shelf???

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Bumper Clit......if you can find it that this...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"whatever the name of the ride is where you're strapped in to the cart things and they're on arms and they fling you around up down left right backwards forwards.

not doing this very well.

but basically the psychotic fairground ride...that.

Px "

You have to be at least [this big] to ride.

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By *rtyIanMan
over a year ago

Gateway to the Beacons

Hall of mirrors

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By *ady LickWoman
over a year ago

Northampton Somewhere

I'd be The Smiler. It's intense from the word go, if feels like you go twice, you can hardly walk after and you definitely want another go

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By *ou only live onceMan
over a year ago

London

The Ghost Train. You know you'll regret it, but do it anyway.

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By *ruebameMan
over a year ago

from the womb and tryout to get back

I'd be the drop tower coz I'd ride you so hard your stomach would be in your mouth then it would be over in seconds

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By *odgerMooreMan
over a year ago

Carlisle

"The Ghost Train. You know you'll regret it, but do it anyway."

Not because you’re putting the willies up

Someone??

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By *orphia2003Woman
over a year ago

Tonypandy.

The saw experience. You may come out crying in fear.

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By *valanche1001Man
over a year ago

Leeds

The catapult; loads of anticipation, tension, strap in and then boing, it’s all over and your legs are a bit wobbly.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Tea cups - might not be the most thrilling but you'll always remember them

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

That one with all the different things you can sit on and looks so much fun, then you realise it just goes round, and round ever so slowly and is actually boring as fuck and you can't wait to get off.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I’d be the candy floss stall… you eat it anyway despite the fact it tastes odd and is sticky

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By *odgerMooreMan
over a year ago

Carlisle

"That one with all the different things you can sit on and looks so much fun, then you realise it just goes round, and round ever so slowly and is actually boring as fuck and you can't wait to get off. "

Can i have 10 goes on that please!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We're not as exciting as a fairground ride, we're more like the burger van. Seems such a good idea at the time, but results in queasiness and a vow never to do it again.

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By *wist my nipplesCouple
over a year ago

North East Scotland, mostly

Oblivion at Alton Towers - the slow burn of tension as you go up, up, up - then the dizzying plunge into the unknown!

For the record, I did not enjoy Oblivion.

Mrs TMN x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Mine is the entrance, you’ll wait a long time to find some of the biggest attractions are unavailable to you because it’s being serviced.

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By *istyPeaksCouple
over a year ago

braintree

Haunted House.

Full of cobwebs & odd looking things. Then things start to look better and some fucker in a mask jumps out at you & sends you running, screaming in fear.

Then you finally get out & sigh in relief

Mrs M

(Have I sold myself well)?

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By *ose-tinted GlassesMan
over a year ago

Glasgow / London

One of those fancy rides at Disneyland where the build up and anticipation is half the fun. And when it’s over you want to run back and do it again straight away …

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What’s the one where the floor goes out from under you and you’re stuck to the wall with g force?

That one

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By *ornyHumpyMan95Man
over a year ago

Prestatyn

"If sex with you was a funfair ride, which one would you be and why?

Bonus points if your answer makes me snort liquid out my nose

I'd be a pirate ship. You get a steady rhythm, plenty of ups and downs, and occasionally someone will scream or cry"

Mine's like an endurance race, goes on too long and unexpected shit happens

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By *nightsoftheCoffeeTableCouple
over a year ago

Leeds

The swans! Boring as fuck.

The mr

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By *acDreamyMan
over a year ago

Wirral

The log flume, guaranteed to get you wet!

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By *inda May SimmonsTV/TS
over a year ago

hexham

“The House That Jack Built”

It looks ok at first then you get in and realise that nothing is quite right, the perspectives in the rooms send you dizzy, everything is angled and wonky and if you catch your reflection in a mirror, you realise how funny you look and have to scramble desperately to get out before you wee yourself from laughing !

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By *ickshawed OP Couple
over a year ago

Wolverhampton

"I’d be the candy floss stall… you eat it anyway despite the fact it tastes odd and is sticky

So very moreish, and everyone wants a piece

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Anything at Alton Towers, a massive wait and then ultimately 90 seconds of dissapointment.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'd be a fun house.

You come in laughing get all shaken up a few bumps and bruises and leave laughing too

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By *rtyIanMan
over a year ago

Gateway to the Beacons

"Haunted House.

Full of cobwebs & odd looking things. Then things start to look better and some fucker in a mask jumps out at you & sends you running, screaming in fear.

Then you finally get out & sigh in relief

Mrs M

(Have I sold myself well)?

I'm in

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The water splash. Slow build up then hurtle down and end in a whoosh.

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By *ickshawed OP Couple
over a year ago

Wolverhampton

"Anything at Alton Towers, a massive wait and then ultimately 90 seconds of disappointment."

And onlookers either laugh or feel nauseous

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By *acDreamyMan
over a year ago

Wirral

Or maybe one of those in pitch black darkness that some may not have tried if they knew quite what to expect!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 17/02/23 09:50:47]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Waltzers

Garanteed to make you throw up

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Bumper cars. The fun starts when I smash you from behind.

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By *ickshawed OP Couple
over a year ago

Wolverhampton

"We're not as exciting as a fairground ride, we're more like the burger van. Seems such a good idea at the time, but results in queasiness and a vow never to do it again."

Leaves you a bit sweaty and needing a good drink

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By *ickshawed OP Couple
over a year ago

Wolverhampton

"Bumper cars. The fun starts when I smash you from behind."

You like to make them squeal with surprise and a little discomfort?

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By *ose-tinted GlassesMan
over a year ago

Glasgow / London

The waltzers. A bit old and traditional looking, but still a lot more fun than people expect. “Scream if you wanna go faster!”

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The Big Wheel..

Slow, uneventful and I'll make you stop every 5 mins so someone else can get on.

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By *ulieAndBeefCouple
over a year ago

Manchester-ish

it's a small world at Disney

Slow and tedious, there's a chance you might fall asleep.

And then there's the singing animatronics on either side

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Bunjee jump - you plunge and just at the last minute some one yanks you out!

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By *eavenscentitCouple
over a year ago

barnstaple

The horse carousel, goes up & down really slowly to old fashioned music. I sit on wishing it would go faster and give me a thrill.

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By *lephantisMan
over a year ago

Oxford

I'm the queue. You see lots of people joining and assume it must be really exciting. Then you become disillusioned with waiting and give up before finding out if it was worth it.

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By *ubikslongswordMan
over a year ago

East Grinstead

The bumper cars because even though it says no collisions we'll definitely "bang"

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By *holelotofrosieCouple
over a year ago

newtown

Log flume , steady up and down , then a big wet ending

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By *ildmanYorksMan
over a year ago

Doncaster & Bembridge

Log flume, a nice slow and gentle build up then a huge plunge and you end up all wet!

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By *avie65Man
over a year ago

In the west.

That horsey thing that was in Bedknobs and Broomsticks, the adult version. Everyone could grip the pole and get the ride of their life without taking their clothes off.

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By *istyPeaksCouple
over a year ago

braintree

"I'm the queue. You see lots of people joining and assume it must be really exciting. Then you become disillusioned with waiting and give up before finding out if it was worth it."

Oh dear. I usually eat my sandwiches in the queue.

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By *istyPeaksCouple
over a year ago

braintree

"Bumper cars. The fun starts when I smash you from behind."

Woody!!!!!

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By *bi HaiveMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Cheeseville, Somerset

The dodgems.

Because I come with a little extra padding around the edges, will often involve electricity in the fun and at some point you're guaranteed to get banged from behind, possibly causing whiplash at the same time.

Where there's blame, there's a claim.....and it's as good an excuse for some time off from work as any.

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By *ittlebirdWoman
over a year ago

The Big Smoke

Hook a duck

Prize guaranteed every time

Plus I’m too little to get on the big rides

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By *hirdTimesACharmCouple
over a year ago

northamptonshire

Waltzers, because I’ll leave your head spinning g and your insides a mess

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By *2000ManMan
over a year ago

Worthing

Ghost Train. Scary at times with lots of screaming then relief at the end.

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By *iddlesticksMan
over a year ago

My nan’s spare room.

I’d be the candy floss stall.

I’m sweet and I’d leave you in a sticky mess.

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By *etcplCouple
over a year ago

Gapping Fanny

The coconut shy.

Its rigged so no matter how hard you try, I win!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"We're not as exciting as a fairground ride, we're more like the burger van. Seems such a good idea at the time, but results in queasiness and a vow never to do it again.

Leaves you a bit sweaty and needing a good drink "

At best. At worst, people leave us in an existential crisis.

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By *aitonelMan
over a year ago

Liverpool

Caterpillar if I'm boasting.

Otherwise the ones outside shops that you put money in.

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By *olly SwallowsTV/TS
over a year ago

Sexville

I’d be a whack a mole

Pick a hole and smash it

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By *hunky GentMan
over a year ago

Maldon and Peterborough

Hook a fuck, I mean duck.

Grab my rod and you'll be guaranteed prize every time.

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By *herry delightWoman
over a year ago

Ilfracombe

Carousel

As it's a vintage ride and it's full of ups and downs that goes constantly going round and round. Xx

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By *ecadent_DevonMan
over a year ago

Okehampton

Dart game

3 quick pricks and you’ll have a bag full of something you’ll tire of after a week

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By *elix SightedMan
over a year ago

Cloud 8

The shooting range. You wouldn’t normally, but you’re on a big night out so why not?

Then you find out it’s sooooo satisfying and you get something to cuddle at the end.

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By *ris GrayMan
over a year ago

Dorchester

"If sex with you was a funfair ride, which one would you be and why?

Bonus points if your answer makes me snort liquid out my nose

I'd be a pirate ship. You get a steady rhythm, plenty of ups and downs, and occasionally someone will scream or cry"
The Big Dipper....... Its Big and it dips

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I’d be the candy floss stall… you eat it anyway despite the fact it tastes odd and is sticky

So very moreish, and everyone wants a piece

I’d love a piece

The question is where to put the stick once you’ve swallowed it all?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"The Tea Cups.

Gentle, serene and popular with grannies."

Hahaha

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The Oblivion

Don't look down...

If you do it's all over

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By *r_PinkMan
over a year ago

london stratford

The ghost train.

a bit scary but in the end a bit of a let down

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By *YDB75Man
over a year ago

East Yorkie

Id say the tombola stall…take pot luck’ pick a number’ and see this disappointment when ya go home with a hair bear and £5 less

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By *.T.Man
over a year ago

Belfast

I'd be the car park outside, you can't wait to leave it to find something more adventurous beyond the gate.

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By *icassolifelikeMan
over a year ago

Luton

The hall of mirrors. Only they’re normal mirrors, and I’m the one who’s wonky.

Curse rugby!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Definitely the “bumper” karts… Love getting hit from behind

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Tidal wave, cos i ain't coming up for breathe till im soaked

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