FabSwingers.com forum: Giver? Or a Taker?

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I dont mean sexually! Lol

Life in General.

Empath?

Or non- empath?

Brain stroming again

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Watcher here

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Watcher here "

Theres no middle ground.

Taker? Or giver?

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By *avexxMan
over a year ago

cheshire

more of a giver tbh

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I often end up being the giver, at least it feels that way when it comes to friendship and love. I'm always the one who makes the first move. The one who thinks about the whole group. The one who tries to keep a spark going. The one who often prioritises those I care about more than they do to me.

I don't know if it's a curse or not. I've long grown fatalistic about it. A big part of me now derives some measure of peace and contentness from vicarious pleasure, making others happy, helping them fulfill their goals and desires.

But I do wonder, when will I finally be the taker in life and get the same love and care I give others back at me? It'll be nice to have a change in role.

There's a Roald Dahl quote that fits me well. "My candle burns at both ends, it won't last the night. But ah my friends and oh my foes, it gives a lovely light."

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I often end up being the giver, at least it feels that way when it comes to friendship and love. I'm always the one who makes the first move. The one who thinks about the whole group. The one who tries to keep a spark going. The one who often prioritises those I care about more than they do to me.

Nice write up. Thank you for shareing your journey so far.

It all begins at childhood.

We get taught and shown ,they we form our own path

,choice. But we all can change and transform for better balance karma and peace of mindfulness.

But I do wonder, when will I finally be the taker in life and get the same love and care I give others back at me? It'll be nice to have a change in role.

There's a Roald Dahl quote that fits me well. "My candle burns at both ends, it won't last the night. But ah my friends and oh my foes, it gives a lovely light.""

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think I fully used to be a giver in every aspect of my life. I have recently learned to be a bit more of a taker though, especially at work in terms of wondering what work will benefit me and whether I want to do it or not. Sexually though, I think I've always been and will always be a giver

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Non- Empath.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Non- Empath. "

Horses for courses.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

HSP/Empath

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Empath

Which unfortunately means I’m quite susceptible to certain types of psychological abuse, and as such can’t do certain work.

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By *rtyIanMan
over a year ago

Gateway to the Beacons

Definitely an Empath

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Fully empathetic.

It's exhausting.

It's why I often find myself in phases of being introverted, in spite of being a very bubbly and perky, friendly person.

I have gotten better as I have gotten older, at managing how much I give to others and how much I open up to their needs.

It was quite a hard process to learn, to fight my natural instincts, had to be tough on myself to shut people down or out to protect my well-being.

It's important to make your own mental and emotional health a high priority. Especially when others depend on you.

Resilience is a learned skill as much as a character trait.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Empath

Which unfortunately means I’m quite susceptible to certain types of psychological abuse, and as such can’t do certain work. "

Boundries at best.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Fully empathetic.

It's exhausting.

It's why I often find myself in phases of being introverted, in spite of being a very bubbly and perky, friendly person.

I have gotten better as I have gotten older, at managing how much I give to others and how much I open up to their needs.

It was quite a hard process to learn, to fight my natural instincts, had to be tough on myself to shut people down or out to protect my well-being.

It's important to make your own mental and emotional health a high priority. Especially when others depend on you.

Resilience is a learned skill as much as a character trait."

Fully agree. Empaths get ate alive. Safeguard a must.

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By *inx.x3Woman
over a year ago

Bath

non- empath here.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I give it if I have the emotional resources to give it. If I don't then what I have in reserve is kept for myself first, then family, close close friends and sponsees. As I've learnt that if not good emotionally then I'm no good for anybody..

And transferrance and counter transferrance happens so much more easily, and take on people's stuff as well as projecting my stuff onto others. Neither of which is very healthy....

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