FabSwingers.com mobile

Join us FREE, we're FREE to use

Web's largest swingers site since 2006.

Already registered?
Login here

Back to forum list
Back to The Lounge

Need help

Jump to newest
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

So yeah I’m a young guy 24 carrying a bit of extra weight and a shitload of trauma for one reason or another (you’re welcome to ask)

It seems to be impossible to get any sort of connections these days when you carry any sort of weight on your shoulders. This site isn’t the best to get people taking a chance on you with no veris and a young traumatised slightly overweight white man isn’t the most eye catching. Anyone got any advice? Maybe I’m missing something obvious

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *issmorganWoman
over a year ago

Calderdale innit

I don't think it's anything to do with your weight op,you look fine

I think it's more likely to be the tone of your profile tbh.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *nightsoftheCoffeeTableCouple
over a year ago

Leeds

I agree with above your profile is very negative, not much about what your looking for or what you can offer, I don't think it's your looks, I'd not reply due to the bio nothing to do with your size or looks.

Mrs

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ornywelsh2sumCouple
over a year ago

Neath valley.


"

So yeah I’m a young guy 24 carrying a bit of extra weight and a shitload of trauma for one reason or another (you’re welcome to ask)

It seems to be impossible to get any sort of connections these days when you carry any sort of weight on your shoulders. This site isn’t the best to get people taking a chance on you with no veris and a young traumatised slightly overweight white man isn’t the most eye catching. Anyone got any advice? Maybe I’m missing something obvious "

Your profile txt would put me off straight away. Comes across as arrogant to be honest. Jo

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *sBlueWoman
over a year ago

Up North


"I don't think it's anything to do with your weight op,you look fine

I think it's more likely to be the tone of your profile tbh."

Totally agree it’s your bio that’s off putting

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

My advice would be change your profile to something more positive

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *elix SightedMan
over a year ago

Cloud 8


"

So yeah I’m a young guy 24 carrying a bit of extra weight and a shitload of trauma for one reason or another (you’re welcome to ask)

It seems to be impossible to get any sort of connections these days when you carry any sort of weight on your shoulders. This site isn’t the best to get people taking a chance on you with no veris and a young traumatised slightly overweight white man isn’t the most eye catching. Anyone got any advice? Maybe I’m missing something obvious

Your profile txt would put me off straight away. Comes across as arrogant to be honest. Jo"

This! I’m sure you’re a lovely bloke but answer this: is what is written on your profile the first thing you would say to a woman you fancied in a bar? Because it’s the first thing you’ve said to anyone who looks at you.

Just because this site is geared around sex, it’s reductive to assume all women want to be fucked hard by a self proclaimed ‘international playboy’.

Consider how you come across and ‘sell’ yourself ina positive way.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *asterR and slut mayaMan
over a year ago

Bradford


"

So yeah I’m a young guy 24 carrying a bit of extra weight and a shitload of trauma for one reason or another (you’re welcome to ask)

It seems to be impossible to get any sort of connections these days when you carry any sort of weight

on your shoulders. This site isn’t

the best to get people taking a

chance on you with no veris and a

young traumatised slightly

overweight white man isn’t the

most eye catching. Anyone got any

advice? Maybe I’m missing

something obvious "

It doesn't matter what age you are

What weight you are here people will either like you or they won't .there are thousands of people here feeling the same .just keep plodding away .

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ustBoWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere in Co. Down

Looking at your profile your weight is not an issue,like others have said negativity would be a bigger turn off than anything else.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *elix SightedMan
over a year ago

Cloud 8

OP there are hundreds of historic threads on “what’s wrong with my profile” and “why can’t I get a meet”.

Your best bet is to use the forum search function and have a scroll through the threads. People in this community are pretty helpful and most people have had good feedback.

It’s as good a starting place as any.

For me, the central message is: is the advertisement of me as good as it can be?

Good luck!

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *etcplCouple
over a year ago

Gapping Fanny

What is it you are expecting or hoping to get out of being here?

The reason I ask is that you are likely to find better connections elsewhere, especially if you are carrying trauma.

People want NSA fun, not to become someones therapist!

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It seems you have more of a problem with your weight than others. Maybe deal with your own problems, come back with a more positive attitude and you might find what you’re looking for.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Wow.

You really think it might be your looks?

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ed-monkeyCouple
over a year ago

Hailsham

Turn things around and focus on the positives in your life ... say what you are looking for.

Finally .. the traumas in life and surviving makes you stronger and determined ... but don't let the trauma define you

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yeah absolutely the tone of your bio and personally to me you look really young.

I'm sure when you rewrite your bio you'll have more luck

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

So yeah I’m a young guy 24 carrying a bit of extra weight and a shitload of trauma for one reason or another (you’re welcome to ask)

It seems to be impossible to get any sort of connections these days when you carry any sort of weight on your shoulders. This site isn’t the best to get people taking a chance on you with no veris and a young traumatised slightly overweight white man isn’t the most eye catching. Anyone got any advice? Maybe I’m missing something obvious "

It's not your weight and its not your trauma.

LA

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

i think your trauma doesnt need to be on profile

its more of a wait and see kind of thing

you need to add more info about you and what you want

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Well done to the surviving cancer part

That's a great thing to read

The rest of your profile just needs a bit more thought, words are all that we've got to go on so be you, but perhaps look at how you've worded it?

Not speaking for everyone but there are key words that just put people off like

Player and fuck hard

But well done again

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *eyond PurityCouple
over a year ago

Lincolnshire

The guys that we look for when wanting an extra display confidence and/or a good personality. They sell themselves well.

Your bio alone would put us off. It’s like you are trying to get a pity fuck.

I don’t think coming across that way is going to attract many.

K

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

Hello D.

Sounds as if you don't think you are attractive enough to make a connection with others.

Sort out what it is you don't like about yourself and what it is you do have to put on the table at a social/sexual meet and re jig your profile.

Right now it sounds as if you are double daring people to not meet with you.

Love yourself and then drop the drawbridge xx good luck xx

P.S. Very many people have had major traumas. They don't use them as a come on though ......... cos ..... they're not.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Erm... What's a traditional woman?

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Updated hopefully it’s better it’s been lovely hearing from you all and thank you for the help

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ornywelsh2sumCouple
over a year ago

Neath valley.


"Updated hopefully it’s better it’s been lovely hearing from you all and thank you for the help

"

Much better op. Now tell us more about your interests. What you are after from this site ect. Stay positive as nobody like a grouch. X

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Little by little I’m getting there

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ilf and old fartCouple
over a year ago

Between Ely and Mildenhall

It's not your looks. Your profile text is a bit cringy though

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"It's not your looks. Your profile text is a bit cringy though "

Indeed - but when I looked earlier there was no text (obviously a redraft after initial comments)

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

Well that's a lot better than it was. Now work on what you have to give and what your looking for

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *avinaTVTV/TS
over a year ago

Transsexual Transylvania

Lol! Now your profile text is almost tiggerishly bouncy! Almost manic!

As for your pics - your weight is fine, I think you're cute and cuddly and on that score I wouldn't kick you out of my bed (not that you're after tgirls, lol). Maybe have your great throbbing zub as your second pic?

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ananaman41Man
over a year ago

Dublin


"

So yeah I’m a young guy 24 carrying a bit of extra weight and a shitload of trauma for one reason or another (you’re welcome to ask)

It seems to be impossible to get any sort of connections these days when you carry any sort of weight on your shoulders. This site isn’t the best to get people taking a chance on you with no veris and a young traumatised slightly overweight white man isn’t the most eye catching. Anyone got any advice? Maybe I’m missing something obvious "

Why do you think people would be in any way interested in or want to hear about your traumas on a site like this?

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *umpingJackFlashMan
over a year ago

Anywhere


"

So yeah I’m a young guy 24 carrying a bit of extra weight and a shitload of trauma for one reason or another (you’re welcome to ask)

It seems to be impossible to get any sort of connections these days when you carry any sort of weight on your shoulders. This site isn’t the best to get people taking a chance on you with no veris and a young traumatised slightly overweight white man isn’t the most eye catching. Anyone got any advice? Maybe I’m missing something obvious "
Your profile say`s your athletic !!!!!

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

So yeah I’m a young guy 24 carrying a bit of extra weight and a shitload of trauma for one reason or another (you’re welcome to ask)

It seems to be impossible to get any sort of connections these days when you carry any sort of weight on your shoulders. This site isn’t the best to get people taking a chance on you with no veris and a young traumatised slightly overweight white man isn’t the most eye catching. Anyone got any advice? Maybe I’m missing something obvious

Why do you think people would be in any way interested in or want to hear about your traumas on a site like this? "

Perhaps some of us aren’t devoid of empathy and understand that triumph over adversity is a positive.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *aitonelMan
over a year ago

Liverpool


"

So yeah I’m a young guy 24 carrying a bit of extra weight and a shitload of trauma for one reason or another (you’re welcome to ask)

It seems to be impossible to get any sort of connections these days when you carry any sort of weight on your shoulders. This site isn’t the best to get people taking a chance on you with no veris and a young traumatised slightly overweight white man isn’t the most eye catching. Anyone got any advice? Maybe I’m missing something obvious

Why do you think people would be in any way interested in or want to hear about your traumas on a site like this?

Perhaps some of us aren’t devoid of empathy and understand that triumph over adversity is a positive."

Gonna throw myself in this camp too.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Compared to earlier that's so much better. Now go get em tiger lol

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ananaman41Man
over a year ago

Dublin


"

So yeah I’m a young guy 24 carrying a bit of extra weight and a shitload of trauma for one reason or another (you’re welcome to ask)

It seems to be impossible to get any sort of connections these days when you carry any sort of weight on your shoulders. This site isn’t the best to get people taking a chance on you with no veris and a young traumatised slightly overweight white man isn’t the most eye catching. Anyone got any advice? Maybe I’m missing something obvious

Why do you think people would be in any way interested in or want to hear about your traumas on a site like this?

Perhaps some of us aren’t devoid of empathy and understand that triumph over adversity is a positive."

Yes it is.

However, how relevant is it to what goes on in here?

Id wager if you did a poll of 100 women in here, and the question is 'would you rather hear about someone's trauma in their personal life in here, or not' the answer would be in the high 90s who would say no. If not all 100.

The guy is looking for advice. Im giving him a cold hard truth

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *elix SightedMan
over a year ago

Cloud 8


"

So yeah I’m a young guy 24 carrying a bit of extra weight and a shitload of trauma for one reason or another (you’re welcome to ask)

It seems to be impossible to get any sort of connections these days when you carry any sort of weight on your shoulders. This site isn’t the best to get people taking a chance on you with no veris and a young traumatised slightly overweight white man isn’t the most eye catching. Anyone got any advice? Maybe I’m missing something obvious

Why do you think people would be in any way interested in or want to hear about your traumas on a site like this?

Perhaps some of us aren’t devoid of empathy and understand that triumph over adversity is a positive.

Yes it is.

However, how relevant is it to what goes on in here?

Id wager if you did a poll of 100 women in here, and the question is 'would you rather hear about someone's trauma in their personal life in here, or not' the answer would be in the high 90s who would say no. If not all 100.

The guy is looking for advice. Im giving him a cold hard truth"

Yea I can think of another survey about what we’d rather hear about that would be 100% no.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Perhaps some of us aren’t devoid of empathy and understand that triumph over adversity is a positive.

Yes it is.

However, how relevant is it to what goes on in here?

Id wager if you did a poll of 100 women in here, and the question is 'would you rather hear about someone's trauma in their personal life in here, or not' the answer would be in the high 90s who would say no. If not all 100.

The guy is looking for advice. Im giving him a cold hard truth"

A lot of people aren’t just looking to fuck and go. They’re looking for friendships. Connections. And what better way to develop that, than by sharing not only the happy shiny parts of yourself, but also the dark scary truly shite bits, with someone who does the same back. Trust grows, sex gets better. You don’t have to let all the bad stuff out 10 minutes into meeting, but the acknowledgment that it exists at all shows emotional intelligence and self awareness. Which is very sexy.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ananaman41Man
over a year ago

Dublin


"Perhaps some of us aren’t devoid of empathy and understand that triumph over adversity is a positive.

Yes it is.

However, how relevant is it to what goes on in here?

Id wager if you did a poll of 100 women in here, and the question is 'would you rather hear about someone's trauma in their personal life in here, or not' the answer would be in the high 90s who would say no. If not all 100.

The guy is looking for advice. Im giving him a cold hard truth

A lot of people aren’t just looking to fuck and go. They’re looking for friendships. Connections. And what better way to develop that, than by sharing not only the happy shiny parts of yourself, but also the dark scary truly shite bits, with someone who does the same back. Trust grows, sex gets better. You don’t have to let all the bad stuff out 10 minutes into meeting, but the acknowledgment that it exists at all shows emotional intelligence and self awareness. Which is very sexy."

Yep im sure it is

My thoughts remain the same however, he should leave reference to his traumas to himself if he wants to maximise his chances in here

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *eiaorganaWoman
over a year ago

Dundee


"

So yeah I’m a young guy 24 carrying a bit of extra weight and a shitload of trauma for one reason or another (you’re welcome to ask)

It seems to be impossible to get any sort of connections these days when you carry any sort of weight on your shoulders. This site isn’t the best to get people taking a chance on you with no veris and a young traumatised slightly overweight white man isn’t the most eye catching. Anyone got any advice? Maybe I’m missing something obvious "

The fact that you describe yourself as 'traumatised' is an instant red flag for me. We all have baggage and issues to deal with, if you're expecting this place to help with that you're going to be disappointed.

In fact I'd go so far to say you probably shouldn't be here at all and instead be working with a therapist until you feel in a better place mentally.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ora the explorerWoman
over a year ago

Paradise, Herts


"

So yeah I’m a young guy 24 carrying a bit of extra weight and a shitload of trauma for one reason or another (you’re welcome to ask)

It seems to be impossible to get any sort of connections these days when you carry any sort of weight on your shoulders. This site isn’t the best to get people taking a chance on you with no veris and a young traumatised slightly overweight white man isn’t the most eye catching. Anyone got any advice? Maybe I’m missing something obvious

Why do you think people would be in any way interested in or want to hear about your traumas on a site like this? "

I can see where you’re coming from and to be honest I do think you sometimes actually say what a lot of people think but won’t say. However, there are a lot of people who would be interested and some do use the forums to bounce off each other for trauma and mental health issues. I probably wouldn’t be interested myself but plenty are.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ischiefManaged69Couple
over a year ago

Preston


"

So yeah I’m a young guy 24 carrying a bit of extra weight and a shitload of trauma for one reason or another (you’re welcome to ask)

It seems to be impossible to get any sort of connections these days when you carry any sort of weight on your shoulders. This site isn’t the best to get people taking a chance on you with no veris and a young traumatised slightly overweight white man isn’t the most eye catching. Anyone got any advice? Maybe I’m missing something obvious "

If you can't work out what it is, social media and connections sites are not for you.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

So yeah I’m a young guy 24 carrying a bit of extra weight and a shitload of trauma for one reason or another (you’re welcome to ask)

It seems to be impossible to get any sort of connections these days when you carry any sort of weight on your shoulders. This site isn’t the best to get people taking a chance on you with no veris and a young traumatised slightly overweight white man isn’t the most eye catching. Anyone got any advice? Maybe I’m missing something obvious

Why do you think people would be in any way interested in or want to hear about your traumas on a site like this?

Perhaps some of us aren’t devoid of empathy and understand that triumph over adversity is a positive.

Yes it is.

However, how relevant is it to what goes on in here?

Id wager if you did a poll of 100 women in here, and the question is 'would you rather hear about someone's trauma in their personal life in here, or not' the answer would be in the high 90s who would say no. If not all 100.

The guy is looking for advice. Im giving him a cold hard truth"

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Little by little I’m getting there "

Are you feeling happier?

Men often have difficulties finding meets on here. Don't feel like everyone else is having fun and you're the only one not getting any.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *TG3Man
over a year ago

Dorchester


"

So yeah I’m a young guy 24 carrying a bit of extra weight and a shitload of trauma for one reason or another (you’re welcome to ask)

It seems to be impossible to get any sort of connections these days when you carry any sort of weight on your shoulders. This site isn’t the best to get people taking a chance on you with no veris and a young traumatised slightly overweight white man isn’t the most eye catching. Anyone got any advice? Maybe I’m missing something obvious "
Hey look you've been honest which is great from a female perspective but less is more, what they don't know they can't delete you for and it can be tough here for guys, I'd put the erect penis pic in friends only put some other pics up and put more in your profile, your profile is your advert here and you will be judged on it oh and try and be positive, good luck

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *inger_SnapWoman
over a year ago

Hampshire/Dorset

Personally, I haven't come here to have to deal with other people's trauma, whatever that may be... I'm done playing therapist.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *uenevereWoman
over a year ago

Scunthorpe

[Removed by poster at 12/02/23 21:11:08]

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *uenevereWoman
over a year ago

Scunthorpe

OP

I'm afraid that the discrepancies between your post on here, the photos, and that of your name and physical description on your profile would put me off.

If you're a little overweight, that's not an issue but are you hunky and athletic? Obviously, people can describe themselves however they like, but make your mind up as to which you are.

Also the text tells me nothing about you, what you can offer and what you are seeking.

As for your trauma... that's probably not something you want to air on Fab, unless it will impact on a potential meet

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Your tone is off OP. Try to be funny, I mean everyone has baggage but you don’t unload it on a complete stranger from the off set, this site is supposed to be about fun and connections, I’m sure everyone has some sort of baggage!

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
Post new Message to Thread
back to top