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How do I own it?

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By *urvySub87 OP   Woman
over a year ago

Near Wellingborough

I'm shy at the best of times but since the birth of my son 7 months ago I have gained so much weight. I don't feel attractive and it makes me question how others can find me attractive when I don't (not after being told I'm pretty).

How do you get over body issues if you have them? Yes i know diet will help in the long run but it doesn't help now. I really want to be having fun when I can but being self conscious is really getting in the way.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

When you work out the secret - please share it with the rest of us!! X

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I’m sorry to hear you’re struggling. 7 months is nothing at all! It takes a long time to regain confidence - just be kind to yourself. A few extra pounds / stone is not a big deal. You just birthed an entire human!

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By *urvySub87 OP   Woman
over a year ago

Near Wellingborough


"I’m sorry to hear you’re struggling. 7 months is nothing at all! It takes a long time to regain confidence - just be kind to yourself. A few extra pounds / stone is not a big deal. You just birthed an entire human! "

I'm bigger now than when I gave birth

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By *etcplCouple
over a year ago

Gapping Fanny

By not giving a fuck about what other people may think about you and instead prioritising what you feel about yourself.

.

Also realising that someones physical appeal does not prevent them from being absolute garbage people, and that who you are is more important than what you look like.

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By *rtyIanMan
over a year ago

Gateway to the Beacons

When you look in the mirror

The mirror of self doubt

The reflection of you looking at me

You have that feeling of not being enough

Flawed by society the media your peer

You feel not worthy not fitting their design

They tell you that you need this and that to shine

When that reflection looks back at you

Tell it you love it that’s it the best you

Self love we’re told is vanity and ego

Learn to love yourself as you love others

You’re worth it all and so much more

Love your self to the core

If you can not love yourself with no fear

Then how can you love those you hold dear

Forget the bullshit that you don’t fit

Ignore that blemish stray hair or zit

Society tells us how we should be

It’s bullishit and lies that feeds wet eyes

Wipe those tears and say to yourself

I am enough for me and for you

The you is your inner self l

Self love self care make them be

The number one thing top priority

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Be gentle on your self and try not to compare yourself to others , I personally love the curves of a mum body, but understand why you would feel self conscious.

Give your self time

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I’m sorry to hear you’re struggling. 7 months is nothing at all! It takes a long time to regain confidence - just be kind to yourself. A few extra pounds / stone is not a big deal. You just birthed an entire human!

I'm bigger now than when I gave birth "

Try to stop the negative self thoughts and replace them with things like your being a good mum etc

Do one small thing a day to help you move forward to where ever you want to be life’s a marathon not a sprint x

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By *emorefridaCouple
over a year ago

La la land

I'm not sure you really get over them. I've tried and failed.

But what I do do is do things that help my confidence. Which for me means going to dance class once a week. And making sure I have well fitting underwear. These things will vary from person to person, but I think it's important to start small and work from there

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By *ookie46Woman
over a year ago

Deepest darkest Peru

One day it will just click, it did with me

I like me and that’s what matters

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By *elix SightedMan
over a year ago

Cloud 8

OP you look great!! Your pictures are sexy and show you off really well.

Fab can be a fickle place and not everyone will fancy you (I’m sure no one needs me to tell them that). If they aren’t interested in you its likely to be down to individual personal preference.

If anyone isn’t interested in you just because of your weight then stuffem! (Not literally, I don’t think it’s allowed). There are thousands of people on here who look past that kind of thing. They’ll want to meet and spend time with you because you’re pretty, fun, sexy and have loads to offer.

Remember, for women this is a sellers market!! (Don’t actually sell it, also not allowed).

Go gettem girl!!!

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By *emorefridaCouple
over a year ago

La la land


"I’m sorry to hear you’re struggling. 7 months is nothing at all! It takes a long time to regain confidence - just be kind to yourself. A few extra pounds / stone is not a big deal. You just birthed an entire human!

I'm bigger now than when I gave birth "

That happened with both mine. Had no time to look after myself, once the kids got into a better routine I lost it again

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No solid advice as I'm not the most self confident but just wanted to say hugs! You are so much more than just your image, you are a unique human & your inner sexy can show on the outside if you're having a great time.. As others say, be kind to yourself

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I'm shy at the best of times but since the birth of my son 7 months ago I have gained so much weight. I don't feel attractive and it makes me question how others can find me attractive when I don't (not after being told I'm pretty).

How do you get over body issues if you have them? Yes i know diet will help in the long run but it doesn't help now. I really want to be having fun when I can but being self conscious is really getting in the way. "

I was stick thin until I turned 30. Like....5'9" and 8 stone dripping wet. I was painfully shy and had massive self confidence issues, I still do now even though I've put enough weight/muscle on to think I look half decent. It took me a long time to be semi-happy with what I've got but I learned to say "Fuck you" to the world and not worry about what I perceived that other people were thinking of me

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By *reyToTheFairiesWoman
over a year ago

Carlisle usually

I spent a lot of time hating everything about me and my body.

When I needed to pull myself out of that space, I found one feature I didn't absolutely despise, one I could focus on as not too bad and could be dressed up to look okay with the right lighting and outfits. For me it was legs, which is an easy one. Even the most mediocre legs look fucken amazing in some fishnets and high heels. So I'd dress to show them off and distract from the rest of the hideousness. Once I had it settled in my head that at least that part was attractive, I could start working up to other parts that maybe weren't as bad as I was seeing them.

Don't get me wrong. I still hate my tits. But I'm still willing to show them off as part of the complete package, and I know now that while my body might not appeal to everyone, I look fucking good to me.

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By *hrista BellendWoman
over a year ago

surrounded by twinkly lights

It took me 4 years to become happy enough with myself after giving birth to feel even remotely sexy.

Being a single parent is the hardest thing I've ever done and it completely absorbed me.

All I can suggest is to speak out to people in the same situation as you. To sound out any issues and problems. I made some lifetime friends from our local mums group

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I’m sorry to hear you’re struggling. 7 months is nothing at all! It takes a long time to regain confidence - just be kind to yourself. A few extra pounds / stone is not a big deal. You just birthed an entire human!

I'm bigger now than when I gave birth

That happened with both mine. Had no time to look after myself, once the kids got into a better routine I lost it again "

Similar. I was breastfeeding and always hungry heh. They tell you it helps to burn calories but it just made me always snack heh. Only when I stopped weight started coming off. It took 9 months to put on, it will take time to shed it too. It grew a life. Your body is amazing for that!

T

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By *elix SightedMan
over a year ago

Cloud 8


"I’m sorry to hear you’re struggling. 7 months is nothing at all! It takes a long time to regain confidence - just be kind to yourself. A few extra pounds / stone is not a big deal. You just birthed an entire human!

I'm bigger now than when I gave birth

That happened with both mine. Had no time to look after myself, once the kids got into a better routine I lost it again

Similar. I was breastfeeding and always hungry heh. They tell you it helps to burn calories but it just made me always snack heh. Only when I stopped weight started coming off. It took 9 months to put on, it will take time to shed it too. It grew a life. Your body is amazing for that!

T"

You’re not supposed to snack on them yourself

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By *ed VoluptaWoman
over a year ago

Wirral.

Fake it til you make it, OP!

I'm constantly told I'm confident & carry myself well but on the inside I hate how big and out of shape my body is.

I was always pretty slim until illness hit in my early 30's and I still forget how big I am now.

What works for me is the wonderful folk here on FAB who like my photos & the guys I meet who genuinely find me attractive. For me, there's no better way of "owning it" than to have a gorgeous guy telling me I'm beautiful & wanting me.

Above all, be kind to yourself. Having a baby is such a stressful & life-changing thing. Love yourself x

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By *assie101Woman
over a year ago

Kent

I just read the thread on here entitled Don't judge yourself.

Have a read.

You'll be doing a great job. You just don't realise it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's not easy but practice being kind to yourself.

You've got to stop valuing yourself on your appearance. Your body doesn't define you. And you've got to learn to not give a fuck what others think. Maybe treat yourself to a few things that might help to give you a boost? Maybe a spa day, new lingerie, hair appointment, perfume etc.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I’m sorry to hear you’re struggling. 7 months is nothing at all! It takes a long time to regain confidence - just be kind to yourself. A few extra pounds / stone is not a big deal. You just birthed an entire human!

I'm bigger now than when I gave birth

That happened with both mine. Had no time to look after myself, once the kids got into a better routine I lost it again

Similar. I was breastfeeding and always hungry heh. They tell you it helps to burn calories but it just made me always snack heh. Only when I stopped weight started coming off. It took 9 months to put on, it will take time to shed it too. It grew a life. Your body is amazing for that!

T

You’re not supposed to snack on them yourself "

Too late..

It tastes good BTW.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sending you a hug.

Think of it this way , when you berate yourself or put yourself down, would you say that to your 5 year old self? No you wouldn't so why do it now.

I take compliments here with a pinch of salt as majority of them are bullshit.

Learning to accept our bodies and ourselves is one of the hardest thing to do but we need to do it. We get one body, we get one chance of life, need to be happy more!

( I've been feeling crap last few days, even writing that has reminded me to be happy )

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I see many ladies on here put on their profiles the words "I have flabby bits"

Childbirth is tbe most wonderful thing in the world, and it's you ladies who have to endure the pain of birth and the consequential body change

I for one admire, respect and am in awe of all of you.

Without you none of us would be here

I am sure you are just as attractive (if nor more so) than you was before the birth

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By *elix SightedMan
over a year ago

Cloud 8


"I’m sorry to hear you’re struggling. 7 months is nothing at all! It takes a long time to regain confidence - just be kind to yourself. A few extra pounds / stone is not a big deal. You just birthed an entire human!

I'm bigger now than when I gave birth

That happened with both mine. Had no time to look after myself, once the kids got into a better routine I lost it again

Similar. I was breastfeeding and always hungry heh. They tell you it helps to burn calories but it just made me always snack heh. Only when I stopped weight started coming off. It took 9 months to put on, it will take time to shed it too. It grew a life. Your body is amazing for that!

T

You’re not supposed to snack on them yourself

Too late..

It tastes good BTW. "

Oh you bad girl!!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I'm shy at the best of times but since the birth of my son 7 months ago I have gained so much weight. I don't feel attractive and it makes me question how others can find me attractive when I don't (not after being told I'm pretty).

How do you get over body issues if you have them? Yes i know diet will help in the long run but it doesn't help now. I really want to be having fun when I can but being self conscious is really getting in the way. "

When you say that you don't find yourself attractive and it makes you question how others can, I personally think there are lots and lots of us who feel that exact thing.

Hopefully you have friends and family close by to help you feel yourself

Hopefully you know how fab works and what it entails, if you meet and enjoy it don't listen to the bs someone may say just to play.

As for the diet and the here and now, unfortunately it can't be done but what can is to go out with your son, take him out in his buggy and go for long walks, it's good for him and for yourself, don't get me wrong I'm no fitness expert.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Take a few new photos and put them up here. I'll bet you get hundreds of fabs and lots of compliments.

Also don't be so hard on yourself. If you are being a good mum, then you probably won't have the time or energy to go mad dieting or excercising and that's okay too.

Be as kind to yourself as you would be to a friend.

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By *urvySub87 OP   Woman
over a year ago

Near Wellingborough

Thank you everyone

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