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Is it seen as being homophobic if a man refuses to have sex with a transexual ?

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

I would like to hear people's opinions about this please

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No

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By *ackbydemandMan
over a year ago

Leicester

It depends, if it's all transsexuals on general principle, or just specific ones? I'm fairly open to having sex with everyone but I'm not a complete slut. I still have to have a connection and an attraction.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No

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By *ty31Man
over a year ago

NW London

Of course not

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By *oo..Woman
over a year ago

Boo's World

No

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By *burns7Man
over a year ago

walsall

Just what you prefer isn’t it

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By *eard and BoobsCouple
over a year ago

Portstewart

Personally if said person was the h word how did they arrive at the point where that is the next step, how far down the transition path have they gone there is lots of info you don't give which could sway the discussion either way

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

All depends on the language used in the refusal

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By *inda May SimmonsTV/TS
over a year ago

hexham

Crumbs no !

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By *aitonelMan
over a year ago

Liverpool

Nothing is any kind of phobic if you don't want to have sex with somebody.

Regardless of reasons or where certain views settle,or have roots in certain things nobody should ever be guilted or shamed in to not wanting to have sex with anyone. At all. Ever.

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By *inda May SimmonsTV/TS
over a year ago

hexham

If guys don’t want to have sec with me, I just assume they are gay !

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By *inda May SimmonsTV/TS
over a year ago

hexham

JOKING!

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By *inx.x3Woman
over a year ago

Bath

No.

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By *iscean_dreamMan
over a year ago

Llanelli

It preferences, like everything else

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By *urls and DressesWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere near here

On the face of it, of course not.

However it depends what led to being called that

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Is this even a genuine question

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By *eyond PurityCouple
over a year ago

Lincolnshire

You have an interest in safe sex…are you barebackphobic?

Or is that just a preference

K

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By *etcplCouple
over a year ago

Gapping Fanny

Look at all these homophobes saying “no”!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Nothing is any kind of phobic if you don't want to have sex with somebody.

Regardless of reasons or where certain views settle,or have roots in certain things nobody should ever be guilted or shamed in to not wanting to have sex with anyone. At all. Ever. "

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By *ittleMissCaliWoman
over a year ago

all loved up

I guess it would depend on many things and the way they said no. But I'd mostly say no.

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By *hunky GentMan
over a year ago

Maldon and Peterborough

I can't see why he would.

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By *issalignedTV/TS
over a year ago

London

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By *ove2pleaseseukMan
over a year ago

Hastings


"You have an interest in safe sex…are you barebackphobic?

Or is that just a preference

K"

barebackphobic? Now that could catch on no pun intended

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Now just for the record... I identify as straight, although actually hetero-flexible.

There are some trans people out here, that are so feminine in looks, that I'd have no trouble in pleasuring them.

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By *iltsTSgirlTV/TS
over a year ago

chichester

No it’s not Next question

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"No it’s not Next question "

Exactly that.. what tosh

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
over a year ago

Central

It depends on your internal psyche and motivations, as well as how you communicate and behave

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By *uckyNineMan
over a year ago

prescot

Burned my head out that one Op

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By *ris GrayMan
over a year ago

Dorchester


"I would like to hear people's opinions about this please"
I would stick to your guns and not worry about that opinion

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By *ts the taking part thatMan
over a year ago

southampton


"All depends on the language used in the refusal "

WTF, how about 'No'.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No. And it seems im not alone with this opinion

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By *iss LovelyWoman
over a year ago

Here and There

It’s say it’s more likely to be perceived as transphobic, although it’s not necessarily either.

I’ve read people say on here that anyone who doesn’t want to play with trans people is transphobic. I don’t think that’s always the case, but it some it will be, of course.

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By *amierebelMan
over a year ago

nae danger.

Yes you should feel guilty and made to feel guilty so you have sex with people you don't want to regardless of genders

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It probably will be soon.

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By *nightsoftheCoffeeTableCouple
over a year ago

Leeds

Don’t be fucking daft.

The mr

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By *uriousblondwifeCouple
over a year ago

wickford

What kid of rediculous question is that op? Next it will be, if you don't have sex with black men your racist!

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By *host63Man
over a year ago

Bedfont Feltham

No

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Never seen a single convincing trans person, maybe in a few decades the lones will blur but no its not homophobic, more a reluctance to stray out of your comfort zone

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No, its your preference.

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By *unthum62Man
over a year ago

Benidorm

Just because somebodys personal preferences differ does not automatically make them a "whatever"ist.

Proactive derogatory comments and actions directed against people does.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Omg no of course not. Jeezzz you shouldn’t need to even ask that ridiculous question

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By *ablo minibar123Woman
over a year ago

.

Of course not. There's plenty of guys out there that I don't want to fuck, doesn't make me a man hater.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Never seen a single convincing trans person, maybe in a few decades the lones will blur but no its not homophobic, more a reluctance to stray out of your comfort zone"

If they were "convincing" you wouldn't know they are trans......

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Let’s break it down for a second (and fyi because I know tone is hard to read in texts/forums, this is intended as educational not attacking or sarcastic so I hope it reads that way)

Homophobic - let’s forget for a second the whole grammar thing about “phobic” being the wrong suffix. We all now it’s not a fear. If anything it should be “-ist” like racist, sexist etc but hey ho, it’s the word that’s used and it is what it is. Homophobic relates to anti gay sentiments which by definition is a sexuality. For the late comers, trans* is generally about gender not sexuality. Quite often the two go hand in hand but not always and maybe not even the majority of the time. I’m assuming you were going for transphobic ?

Transphobic - it’s a term that gets thrown around and seems to have become the new “as bad as hitler/nazi” of the internet I.E. whoever says it first has defcato lost the argument in truth there are some clear transphobe within this community, I’m not going to call them out, they can do them and I’ll do me. Nothing I can say will change there mind on the topic but I have the power not to listen to them and hopefully put another side of the argument across to people who hopefully want to know more.

Not wanting relationships/physicality with transwomen/men - I can totally assure that if you don’t want to have this kind of intimacy with me because of who I am/what I was, the feeing will be absolutely mutual. Does that make either of us a bad person ? Absolutely not , we’re not compatible and that’s that. What would make someone a bad person is how they go about it.

Hopefully my weird ramblings make some kind of sense

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Never seen a single convincing trans person, maybe in a few decades the lones will blur but no its not homophobic, more a reluctance to stray out of your comfort zone

If they were "convincing" you wouldn't know they are trans...... "

And FYI, I’m not out to “convince” anyone of anything , I am me and am happy

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By *ablo minibar123Woman
over a year ago

.


"Let’s break it down for a second (and fyi because I know tone is hard to read in texts/forums, this is intended as educational not attacking or sarcastic so I hope it reads that way)

Homophobic - let’s forget for a second the whole grammar thing about “phobic” being the wrong suffix. We all now it’s not a fear. If anything it should be “-ist” like racist, sexist etc but hey ho, it’s the word that’s used and it is what it is. Homophobic relates to anti gay sentiments which by definition is a sexuality. For the late comers, trans* is generally about gender not sexuality. Quite often the two go hand in hand but not always and maybe not even the majority of the time. I’m assuming you were going for transphobic ?

Transphobic - it’s a term that gets thrown around and seems to have become the new “as bad as hitler/nazi” of the internet I.E. whoever says it first has defcato lost the argument in truth there are some clear transphobe within this community, I’m not going to call them out, they can do them and I’ll do me. Nothing I can say will change there mind on the topic but I have the power not to listen to them and hopefully put another side of the argument across to people who hopefully want to know more.

Not wanting relationships/physicality with transwomen/men - I can totally assure that if you don’t want to have this kind of intimacy with me because of who I am/what I was, the feeing will be absolutely mutual. Does that make either of us a bad person ? Absolutely not , we’re not compatible and that’s that. What would make someone a bad person is how they go about it.

Hopefully my weird ramblings make some kind of sense "

Perfect sense x

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By *entlemanrogueMan
over a year ago

Motherwell


"I would like to hear people's opinions about this please"

Is it heterophobic if a woman refuses to have sex with a man. of course not, you cant be shamed into fucking anyone.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I would like to hear people's opinions about this please

Is it heterophobic if a woman refuses to have sex with a man. of course not, you cant be shamed into fucking anyone."

Exactly

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Of course not, does a man or woman saying no to sex with someone of their opposite sex make them hetrophobic?

(Ok, yes we all no a man will never say no to sex)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Let’s break it down for a second (and fyi because I know tone is hard to read in texts/forums, this is intended as educational not attacking or sarcastic so I hope it reads that way)

Homophobic - let’s forget for a second the whole grammar thing about “phobic” being the wrong suffix. We all now it’s not a fear. If anything it should be “-ist” like racist, sexist etc but hey ho, it’s the word that’s used and it is what it is. Homophobic relates to anti gay sentiments which by definition is a sexuality. For the late comers, trans* is generally about gender not sexuality. Quite often the two go hand in hand but not always and maybe not even the majority of the time. I’m assuming you were going for transphobic ?

Transphobic - it’s a term that gets thrown around and seems to have become the new “as bad as hitler/nazi” of the internet I.E. whoever says it first has defcato lost the argument in truth there are some clear transphobe within this community, I’m not going to call them out, they can do them and I’ll do me. Nothing I can say will change there mind on the topic but I have the power not to listen to them and hopefully put another side of the argument across to people who hopefully want to know more.

Not wanting relationships/physicality with transwomen/men - I can totally assure that if you don’t want to have this kind of intimacy with me because of who I am/what I was, the feeing will be absolutely mutual. Does that make either of us a bad person ? Absolutely not , we’re not compatible and that’s that. **What would make someone a bad person is how they go about it.**

Hopefully my weird ramblings make some kind of sense "

It makes sense.

Especially **

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By *entlemanrogueMan
over a year ago

Motherwell

[Removed by poster at 01/02/23 07:00:49]

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By *entlemanrogueMan
over a year ago

Motherwell


"Of course not, does a man or woman saying no to sex with someone of their opposite sex make them hetrophobic?

(Ok, yes we all no a man will never say no to sex)"

^ Speak for yourself

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Of course not, does a man or woman saying no to sex with someone of their opposite sex make them hetrophobic?

(Ok, yes we all no a man will never say no to sex)"

Know not no...feck sake the forum needs an edit button.

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

The answer to this lies on the reasons the man would give to the question. Everything else is just guess work.

BTW ..... Is it homophobic if a lesbian refused to have sex with a transexual ?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"The answer to this lies on the reasons the man would give to the question. Everything else is just guess work.

BTW ..... Is it homophobic if a lesbian refused to have sex with a transexual ?"

Just one other thought whilst it crosses my mind. I know it’s not meant this way but the whole talk of “refuses” to sleep with someone …. Everyone has the right to refuse anyone for no reason , that’s consent people

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No. We all have choices and preferences. Shouldn’t label people for what choices they make. To be blunt, you could say I prefer crack to cock. Therefore trans would fall in one or the other. And a phobia is being afraid of something. Not what people choose.

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By *owestoft ManMan
over a year ago

Lowestoft


"What kid of rediculous question is that op? Next it will be, if you don't have sex with black men your racist! "

LOL The Today's definition of Racist is You are already Racist for mentioning the word Black. Very strange world we live in these days.

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By *amierebelMan
over a year ago

nae danger.


"Of course not, does a man or woman saying no to sex with someone of their opposite sex make them hetrophobic?

(Ok, yes we all no a man will never say no to sex)

^ Speak for yourself"

Yeah not all us ride anything into battle

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Sounds like a silly question I know. But I was in the pub with my business partner last night and he said he chatted with a transexual on a vanilla app and he was called transphobic because he said he didn't want to have sex.

So I thought I would throw the question into the forums and see what the fine people of fab have to say.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Why on Earth would it be phobic to refuse sex with anyone?

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By *iscean_dreamMan
over a year ago

Llanelli


"Of course not, does a man or woman saying no to sex with someone of their opposite sex make them hetrophobic?

(Ok, yes we all no a man will never say no to sex)

^ Speak for yourself

Yeah not all us ride anything into battle "

I'd be having a lot more sex if I didn't say no, goes without saying that some guys will sleep with anyone that offers though but there's women that will do that also

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By *iscean_dreamMan
over a year ago

Llanelli


"Sounds like a silly question I know. But I was in the pub with my business partner last night and he said he chatted with a transexual on a vanilla app and he was called transphobic because he said he didn't want to have sex.

So I thought I would throw the question into the forums and see what the fine people of fab have to say.

"

Sounds like they got butt hurt for being turned down to me

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Of course not, does a man or woman saying no to sex with someone of their opposite sex make them hetrophobic?

(Ok, yes we all no a man will never say no to sex)"

Heterophobic

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By *teveanddebsCouple
over a year ago

Norwich

How would someone know if a post-op transexual was unless they were told?

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By *odgerMooreMan
over a year ago

Carlisle

I refuse to have sex with anyone that will have sex with me - those people have no standards at all!! this is a joke - please shag me!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

That information should be shared because, at the end of the day, regardless of what medical procedure they've gone through, their DNA/chromosomes/testosterone are still male.

You'll still be fucking a biological male.

The tits and vagina is just window decoration.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Why on Earth would it be phobic to refuse sex with anyone? "

Yeah it shouldn't be phobic to refuse sex with anyone

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"How would someone know if a post-op transexual was unless they were told? "

He was told during the conversation

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By *iscean_dreamMan
over a year ago

Llanelli


"How would someone know if a post-op transexual was unless they were told? "

I'm assuming there's no self lubrication or g spot, no periods or regular complaints of headaches when they aren't in the mood and they can wash and be ready to go out within 10 minutes

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Nothing is any kind of phobic if you don't want to have sex with somebody.

Regardless of reasons or where certain views settle,or have roots in certain things nobody should ever be guilted or shamed in to not wanting to have sex with anyone. At all. Ever. "

Well said

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By *ris GrayMan
over a year ago

Dorchester


"What kid of rediculous question is that op? Next it will be, if you don't have sex with black men your racist! "
he wasn't kidding

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

There's always going to be a divide between those who are able or willing to adjust their view of a person to/from their pre/post trans identity.

Whether you think it is right or wrong, some will only ever see them as they were and depending on the sexualities involved that will either suit or not suit their sexual choices and preferences. Which each person is free to express and respect.

Respect is the bottom line really.

If there's no hate, hurt or harm there's no issue. Just live and let live with respect.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"How would someone know if a post-op transexual was unless they were told?

I'm assuming there's no self lubrication or g spot, no periods or regular complaints of headaches when they aren't in the mood and they can wash and be ready to go out within 10 minutes "

perhaps without the

wash-n-go

in ten mins, every fella I've had takes as long or longer than I do to get ready!

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By *ackformore100Man
over a year ago

Tin town


"I would like to hear people's opinions about this please"

Didnt realise sex with others was compulsory to ensure you tick the right boxes of not homophobic . No. Of course its not. In the same way as sex with a black or Asian or white person does not make you racist. Refusing to have sex with women makes you a misogynist?

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By *iscean_dreamMan
over a year ago

Llanelli


"How would someone know if a post-op transexual was unless they were told?

I'm assuming there's no self lubrication or g spot, no periods or regular complaints of headaches when they aren't in the mood and they can wash and be ready to go out within 10 minutes

perhaps without the

wash-n-go

in ten mins, every fella I've had takes as long or longer than I do to get ready! "

They were dragging it out so they weren't waiting around I reckon

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By *ackformore100Man
over a year ago

Tin town


"What kid of rediculous question is that op? Next it will be, if you don't have sex with black men your racist!

LOL The Today's definition of Racist is You are already Racist for mentioning the word Black. Very strange world we live in these days."

Isn't it you're racist unless you repeatedly state you're anti racist and take a knee at every opportunity. You're part of the problem etc etc. Live and let live is no longer tolerated.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"What kid of rediculous question is that op? Next it will be, if you don't have sex with black men your racist!

LOL The Today's definition of Racist is You are already Racist for mentioning the word Black. Very strange world we live in these days.

Isn't it you're racist unless you repeatedly state you're anti racist and take a knee at every opportunity. You're part of the problem etc etc. Live and let live is no longer tolerated. "

Lets leave the politics.at the door with our clothes folks shall we.

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By *amesBeelzebubMan
over a year ago

norwich

It's not homophobics at all.

I won't have sex with Gay men. Not because I'm homophones but because I'm straight.

I never thought I'd have sex with a transexual but then even now they are portrayed as women with beards but some are stunning. I remember Kylie Grealish who used to come in the forums was one of the most beautiful people I ever saw

It's like anything, you can't control who you find attractive.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"How would someone know if a post-op transexual was unless they were told?

I'm assuming there's no self lubrication or g spot, no periods or regular complaints of headaches when they aren't in the mood and they can wash and be ready to go out within 10 minutes

perhaps without the

wash-n-go

in ten mins, every fella I've had takes as long or longer than I do to get ready!

They were dragging it out so they weren't waiting around I reckon "

more than likely!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"If guys don’t want to have sec with me, I just assume they are gay ! "

Love that x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 01/02/23 11:41:15]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"If guys don’t want to have sec with me, I just assume they are gay ! "

Hahaha absolutely brilliant

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By *ackformore100Man
over a year ago

Tin town


"What kid of rediculous question is that op? Next it will be, if you don't have sex with black men your racist!

LOL The Today's definition of Racist is You are already Racist for mentioning the word Black. Very strange world we live in these days.

Isn't it you're racist unless you repeatedly state you're anti racist and take a knee at every opportunity. You're part of the problem etc etc. Live and let live is no longer tolerated.

Lets leave the politics.at the door with our clothes folks shall we. "

What's political about that? It's cultural not political.

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By *hagTonightMan
over a year ago

From the land of haribos.

No, like with anything else, it is down to ones preference.

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By *ools and the brainCouple
over a year ago

couple, us we him her.


"I would like to hear people's opinions about this please"

Why are you asking, have you had a personal experience of this?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Absolutely not. It's about attraction and if your not attracted to the person then it's a no. Simple

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By *otsossieMan
over a year ago

local, but not too local

It would possibly be transphobic if you fancied the pants off them otherwise.

If they had aspects which were less attractive to you, then no - it’s perfectly fine to be “straight” and nobody is challenging that.

Not finding someone attractive is different to stirring up hatred of them based upon a single attribute.

Similarly, not fancying someone who happens to be of a particular race would be different to saying all people of that race are unattractive. And how could you possibly know?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

This is one of those questions where context is everything.

If she's post-op and you didn't want to have sex with her solely on the basis that she is Trans (as in, you experienced attraction to her in every other way, just as you would with a Cis woman who was your type) then yeah that's blatantly transphobic.

If she's pre-op and you have a genital preference then that's absolutely fine and you're perfectly entitled to a genital preference.

If you meet the person with disgust or you recoil at them for being Trans then that is transphobic regardless of what words you use to dress it up, likewise if you seem polite but use words that indicate you're being transphobic, the same way it would be fatphobic if you rejected a fat person for their body in the same manner.

It's a situation with near-infinite room for nuance, but ultimately you're entitled to your preferences, whatever they may be.

Tl;dr: It's only Transphobia if you're Transphobic.

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By *vilgasamWoman
over a year ago

The dot in the i

Refusal of sex in any format is always ok, no means no, no matter what

The alternative is the r word

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By *ools and the brainCouple
over a year ago

couple, us we him her.


"This is one of those questions where context is everything.

If she's post-op and you didn't want to have sex with her solely on the basis that she is Trans (as in, you experienced attraction to her in every other way, just as you would with a Cis woman who was your type) then yeah that's blatantly transphobic.

If she's pre-op and you have a genital preference then that's absolutely fine and you're perfectly entitled to a genital preference.

If you meet the person with disgust or you recoil at them for being Trans then that is transphobic regardless of what words you use to dress it up, likewise if you seem polite but use words that indicate you're being transphobic, the same way it would be fatphobic if you rejected a fat person for their body in the same manner.

It's a situation with near-infinite room for nuance, but ultimately you're entitled to your preferences, whatever they may be.

Tl;dr: It's only Transphobia if you're Transphobic."

So as a middle aged bloke with a beard a bit overweight and balding if I asked a Trans woman to have sex with me and she said no what does that make her?

Just playing devils advocate here.

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By *an4funMan
over a year ago

london


"This is one of those questions where context is everything.

If she's post-op and you didn't want to have sex with her solely on the basis that she is Trans (as in, you experienced attraction to her in every other way, just as you would with a Cis woman who was your type) then yeah that's blatantly transphobic.

If she's pre-op and you have a genital preference then that's absolutely fine and you're perfectly entitled to a genital preference.

If you meet the person with disgust or you recoil at them for being Trans then that is transphobic regardless of what words you use to dress it up, likewise if you seem polite but use words that indicate you're being transphobic, the same way it would be fatphobic if you rejected a fat person for their body in the same manner.

It's a situation with near-infinite room for nuance, but ultimately you're entitled to your preferences, whatever they may be.

Tl;dr: It's only Transphobia if you're Transphobic.

So as a middle aged bloke with a beard a bit overweight and balding if I asked a Trans woman to have sex with me and she said no what does that make her?

Just playing devils advocate here."

Old-bald-guy-phobic

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By *otsossieMan
over a year ago

local, but not too local


"So as a middle aged bloke with a beard a bit overweight and balding if I asked a Trans woman to have sex with me and she said no what does that make her?"

Take your pick tbh. You’d need additional criteria to narrow it down a bit

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By *otsossieMan
over a year ago

local, but not too local

Btw I meet all those criteria barring my full head of hair.

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By *ools and the brainCouple
over a year ago

couple, us we him her.


"This is one of those questions where context is everything.

If she's post-op and you didn't want to have sex with her solely on the basis that she is Trans (as in, you experienced attraction to her in every other way, just as you would with a Cis woman who was your type) then yeah that's blatantly transphobic.

If she's pre-op and you have a genital preference then that's absolutely fine and you're perfectly entitled to a genital preference.

If you meet the person with disgust or you recoil at them for being Trans then that is transphobic regardless of what words you use to dress it up, likewise if you seem polite but use words that indicate you're being transphobic, the same way it would be fatphobic if you rejected a fat person for their body in the same manner.

It's a situation with near-infinite room for nuance, but ultimately you're entitled to your preferences, whatever they may be.

Tl;dr: It's only Transphobia if you're Transphobic.

So as a middle aged bloke with a beard a bit overweight and balding if I asked a Trans woman to have sex with me and she said no what does that make her?

Just playing devils advocate here.

Old-bald-guy-phobic"

Hey I resemble that remark I'm shocked and offended

Seriously though it's just a personal preference if done without malice or not intended to offend it's a choice that we all have a right to.

You can say no without it meaning your something.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What's the point of trying to force someone who doesn't like you in a sexual manner to have sex with you through guilt tripping or attempting to cancel them with accusations of identity-based phobias?

Questions like the one the OP has asked only exist because people can't just take no for an answer. As someone rightly pointed out, it's either consensual sex or NC/the R word, no two ways about it.

Instead of wasting time trying to convince any individual or demographic predisposed against you to give you a chance with them, I'd rather spend my time seeking out people who want me for me without any hang ups or preconditions.

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By *hroatQueen_CATV/TS
over a year ago

Carlisle

Being gay and trans isn't the same thing? I think it's a personal choice who someone wants to sleep with. It's not necessarily about their sexuality etc doesn't make you bad everything is a choice. x

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By *orianGrey200Man
over a year ago

birmingham

Too much political correctness I'd say.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"This is one of those questions where context is everything.

If she's post-op and you didn't want to have sex with her solely on the basis that she is Trans (as in, you experienced attraction to her in every other way, just as you would with a Cis woman who was your type) then yeah that's blatantly transphobic.

If she's pre-op and you have a genital preference then that's absolutely fine and you're perfectly entitled to a genital preference.

If you meet the person with disgust or you recoil at them for being Trans then that is transphobic regardless of what words you use to dress it up, likewise if you seem polite but use words that indicate you're being transphobic, the same way it would be fatphobic if you rejected a fat person for their body in the same manner.

It's a situation with near-infinite room for nuance, but ultimately you're entitled to your preferences, whatever they may be.

Tl;dr: It's only Transphobia if you're Transphobic.

So as a middle aged bloke with a beard a bit overweight and balding if I asked a Trans woman to have sex with me and she said no what does that make her?

Just playing devils advocate here."

Are you often discriminated against based on who you are? You can wear a wig or get a hair transplant and you can lose weight, you can't change the fact you're Trans.

If someone's type was overweight, balding men and they wouldn't sleep with an overweight, balding post-op Trans man, even if they had the same functionality as a Cis man, then that would be an equitable comparison. What you said is not an equitable comparison.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"What's the point of trying to force someone who doesn't like you in a sexual manner to have sex with you through guilt tripping or attempting to cancel them with accusations of identity-based phobias?

Questions like the one the OP has asked only exist because people can't just take no for an answer. As someone rightly pointed out, it's either consensual sex or NC/the R word, no two ways about it.

Instead of wasting time trying to convince any individual or demographic predisposed against you to give you a chance with them, I'd rather spend my time seeking out people who want me for me without any hang ups or preconditions. "

Nobody is trying to "force" anyone into having sex with them, for any reason. Nor is anyone trying to "cancel" anyone. Nor has anyone been "accused" of anything. Nor is anyone trying to "convince" anyone to sleep with them. Maybe stop making up fake scenarios to be annoyed about?

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By *ackformore100Man
over a year ago

Tin town


"This is one of those questions where context is everything.

If she's post-op and you didn't want to have sex with her solely on the basis that she is Trans (as in, you experienced attraction to her in every other way, just as you would with a Cis woman who was your type) then yeah that's blatantly transphobic.

If she's pre-op and you have a genital preference then that's absolutely fine and you're perfectly entitled to a genital preference.

If you meet the person with disgust or you recoil at them for being Trans then that is transphobic regardless of what words you use to dress it up, likewise if you seem polite but use words that indicate you're being transphobic, the same way it would be fatphobic if you rejected a fat person for their body in the same manner.

It's a situation with near-infinite room for nuance, but ultimately you're entitled to your preferences, whatever they may be.

Tl;dr: It's only Transphobia if you're Transphobic.

So as a middle aged bloke with a beard a bit overweight and balding if I asked a Trans woman to have sex with me and she said no what does that make her?

Just playing devils advocate here.

Old-bald-guy-phobic

Hey I resemble that remark I'm shocked and offended

Seriously though it's just a personal preference if done without malice or not intended to offend it's a choice that we all have a right to.

You can say no without it meaning your something."

You'd think so

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"This is one of those questions where context is everything.

If she's post-op and you didn't want to have sex with her solely on the basis that she is Trans (as in, you experienced attraction to her in every other way, just as you would with a Cis woman who was your type) then yeah that's blatantly transphobic.

If she's pre-op and you have a genital preference then that's absolutely fine and you're perfectly entitled to a genital preference.

If you meet the person with disgust or you recoil at them for being Trans then that is transphobic regardless of what words you use to dress it up, likewise if you seem polite but use words that indicate you're being transphobic, the same way it would be fatphobic if you rejected a fat person for their body in the same manner.

It's a situation with near-infinite room for nuance, but ultimately you're entitled to your preferences, whatever they may be.

Tl;dr: It's only Transphobia if you're Transphobic.

So as a middle aged bloke with a beard a bit overweight and balding if I asked a Trans woman to have sex with me and she said no what does that make her?

Just playing devils advocate here."

Fattyslapheadophobic

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's simply a matter of a persons right to know.

Some may think it's none of anyone's business, and generally this is true.

However, it becomes your business if you've made plans to have sex with 'her'.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Not read the whole thread, so maybe repeating something already mentioned. But most gay men aren't attracted to tv/ts/cd and would never have sex with them.

I find it mostly bi men or straight curious men interested in trans girls.

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By *ackformore100Man
over a year ago

Tin town

But can they compete in the women's athletics?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"But can they compete in the women's athletics? "

No, simply because of the testosterone in their bodies and the general superior muscle structure.

What's that swimmers name, I can't remember?

'She' was average at best when swimming as a biological man, so decided to transition to female and surprise surprise, started winning as a female swimmer.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"This is one of those questions where context is everything.

If she's post-op and you didn't want to have sex with her solely on the basis that she is Trans (as in, you experienced attraction to her in every other way, just as you would with a Cis woman who was your type) then yeah that's blatantly transphobic.

If she's pre-op and you have a genital preference then that's absolutely fine and you're perfectly entitled to a genital preference.

If you meet the person with disgust or you recoil at them for being Trans then that is transphobic regardless of what words you use to dress it up, likewise if you seem polite but use words that indicate you're being transphobic, the same way it would be fatphobic if you rejected a fat person for their body in the same manner.

It's a situation with near-infinite room for nuance, but ultimately you're entitled to your preferences, whatever they may be.

Tl;dr: It's only Transphobia if you're Transphobic.

So as a middle aged bloke with a beard a bit overweight and balding if I asked a Trans woman to have sex with me and she said no what does that make her?

Just playing devils advocate here.

Are you often discriminated against based on who you are? You can wear a wig or get a hair transplant and you can lose weight, you can't change the fact you're Trans.

If someone's type was overweight, balding men and they wouldn't sleep with an overweight, balding post-op Trans man, even if they had the same functionality as a Cis man, then that would be an equitable comparison. What you said is not an equitable comparison. "

You can change the fact you’re trans though. It has happened before and will happen again.

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By *eandmrsjones69Couple
over a year ago

Middle England

Is there was a prize for silly questions; this one would be up for an award.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Is there was a prize for silly questions; this one would be up for an award."

You should check out the other posts.

This one is quite sensible compared to a lot of others.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Is it a trans man or a trans woman?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Not at all. Women have refused to have sex with me for years. That doesn't make them lesbians....

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By *irty_DeedsMan
over a year ago

Teesside


"But can they compete in the women's athletics? "
Personally, I'd say no for male to female transitions. Mainly for the physical advantages going through puberty and riding that testosterone dragon gives you. It should be a definite no if that sport involves any sort of combat.

I'm sure a lot of female athletes feel similar but are afraid to speak out because of the labels attached to them for doing so.

There is a reason why we split sports by gender.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Absolutely not,it's just sexual preference.

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By *aptain Caveman41Man
over a year ago

Home

No.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"But can they compete in the women's athletics? Personally, I'd say no for male to female transitions. Mainly for the physical advantages going through puberty and riding that testosterone dragon gives you. It should be a definite no if that sport involves any sort of combat.

I'm sure a lot of female athletes feel similar but are afraid to speak out because of the labels attached to them for doing so.

There is a reason why we split sports by gender."

An arguement could be made for allowing trans people to mix in other sports. Ones where physical strength isn't so much of an issue.

Archery and shooting being two examples.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"But can they compete in the women's athletics? Personally, I'd say no for male to female transitions. Mainly for the physical advantages going through puberty and riding that testosterone dragon gives you. It should be a definite no if that sport involves any sort of combat.

I'm sure a lot of female athletes feel similar but are afraid to speak out because of the labels attached to them for doing so.

There is a reason why we split sports by gender.

An arguement could be made for allowing trans people to mix in other sports. Ones where physical strength isn't so much of an issue.

Archery and shooting being two examples."

Can we please keep the discussion to the point of OP’s question? Pretty sure he wasn’t asking about trans issues and sports?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"But can they compete in the women's athletics? Personally, I'd say no for male to female transitions. Mainly for the physical advantages going through puberty and riding that testosterone dragon gives you. It should be a definite no if that sport involves any sort of combat.

I'm sure a lot of female athletes feel similar but are afraid to speak out because of the labels attached to them for doing so.

There is a reason why we split sports by gender.

An arguement could be made for allowing trans people to mix in other sports. Ones where physical strength isn't so much of an issue.

Archery and shooting being two examples.

Can we please keep the discussion to the point of OP’s question? Pretty sure he wasn’t asking about trans issues and sports? "

It's the nature of conversation/discussion to evolve to include other aspects related to the main issue.

Just like in real life.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Can we please keep the discussion to the point of OP’s question? Pretty sure he wasn’t asking about trans issues and sports?

It's the nature of conversation/discussion to evolve to include other aspects related to the main issue.

Just like in real life.

"

Maybe, but there’s also the general internet/forum etiquette of not derailing threads.

At the risk of being guilty of thread derailing this thread myself, may I politely suggest you consider creating a separate thread or add to the existing threads on trans sports if you’re not adding to the context of the OP ?

Anyway back to topic ……( hopefully )

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No x

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By *ackformore100Man
over a year ago

Tin town


"Not at all. Women have refused to have sex with me for years. That doesn't make them lesbians.... "

I'm sure you'd be able to cure them too.

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By *ackformore100Man
over a year ago

Tin town


"But can they compete in the women's athletics? Personally, I'd say no for male to female transitions. Mainly for the physical advantages going through puberty and riding that testosterone dragon gives you. It should be a definite no if that sport involves any sort of combat.

I'm sure a lot of female athletes feel similar but are afraid to speak out because of the labels attached to them for doing so.

There is a reason why we split sports by gender."

Well yes...here's a good example of eilish mccolgan saying exactly that..

https://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/athletics/64460705

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By *tylebender03Man
over a year ago

Manchester

Nope it’s personal choice

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By *ackformore100Man
over a year ago

Tin town


"But can they compete in the women's athletics? Personally, I'd say no for male to female transitions. Mainly for the physical advantages going through puberty and riding that testosterone dragon gives you. It should be a definite no if that sport involves any sort of combat.

I'm sure a lot of female athletes feel similar but are afraid to speak out because of the labels attached to them for doing so.

There is a reason why we split sports by gender.

An arguement could be made for allowing trans people to mix in other sports. Ones where physical strength isn't so much of an issue.

Archery and shooting being two examples.

Can we please keep the discussion to the point of OP’s question? Pretty sure he wasn’t asking about trans issues and sports? "

Yes apologies for going off piste op.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Of course not, does a man or woman saying no to sex with someone of their opposite sex make them hetrophobic?

(Ok, yes we all no a man will never say no to sex)

^ Speak for yourself

Yeah not all us ride anything into battle

I'd be having a lot more sex if I didn't say no, goes without saying that some guys will sleep with anyone that offers though but there's women that will do that also "

You say that as if say yes when offered is a bad thing. You only live once, enjoy what you can when you can as often as you can. You're a long time dead.

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By *assyleigh92Couple
over a year ago

Coventry

No I don’t think so. A preference doesn’t automatically mean phobic in my opinion.

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By *iscean_dreamMan
over a year ago

Llanelli


"Of course not, does a man or woman saying no to sex with someone of their opposite sex make them hetrophobic?

(Ok, yes we all no a man will never say no to sex)

^ Speak for yourself

Yeah not all us ride anything into battle

I'd be having a lot more sex if I didn't say no, goes without saying that some guys will sleep with anyone that offers though but there's women that will do that also

You say that as if say yes when offered is a bad thing. You only live once, enjoy what you can when you can as often as you can. You're a long time dead. "

Sleeping with absolutely anyone that offers is a bad thing, I wouldn't enjoy sleeping with just anyone

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By *hGlobbitsMan
over a year ago

Leeds

No. People can refuse to have sex with whoever they choose. Or, y'know, don't choose. You know what I mean.

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