FabSwingers.com forum: I need to be inside you…

By *ensuallover1000 OP Man
over a year ago

Somewhere In The Ether…

Parasites: Tell me all your stories good folks

Ever had thread worms?

When was the last time you were bitten by a flea?

Have you ever been bitten by a tick or are head lice (or pubic lice?) more your thing?

Awwww….how delightful

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By *ealitybitesMan
over a year ago

Belfast

I've wormed into a few threads over the years

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Oh wow.

Well - I’ll take one for the team.

I’m delicious. I have basically translucent skin, as you can see, and bugs love me.

Mexico trip, covered in deet, I was eaten ALIVE.

It’s not joke, I tell you

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Oh wow.

Well - I’ll take one for the team.

I’m delicious. I have basically translucent skin, as you can see, and bugs love me.

Mexico trip, covered in deet, I was eaten ALIVE.

It’s not joke, I tell you

Watch out for me, I'm a LOVEBUG

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Nobody ever wants to eat me.

Or bite me.

I am a bit gross though.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Caught Scabies 20 years ago in military accommodation, not much fun.

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By *ensuallover1000 OP Man
over a year ago

Somewhere In The Ether…

"Oh wow.

Well - I’ll take one for the team.

I’m delicious. I have basically translucent skin, as you can see, and bugs love me.

Mexico trip, covered in deet, I was eaten ALIVE.

It’s not joke, I tell you

I hold a dubious record of having been bitten forty (yes, you read it correctly, FORTY

- I actually counted them) times by fleas in one go.

It was one humid day whilst walking my pooch a few years back when I made the grand mistake to wade through a load of wet vegetation. Ali Baba and the forty fleas….

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By *ealitybitesMan
over a year ago

Belfast

I used to help train a SAR team which involved deliberately getting lost in the mountains and only once got eaten alive by midges.

Avon Skin So Soft is the go to product for most SAR groups to avoid being bitten.

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By *eliWoman
over a year ago

Scotland was awful for midges. Esp around the Cairngorms/Cults way. Bleurgh, horrid things. Ruined a few al fresco sex sessions.

Anyway, I'm mainly commenting on this thread because people are deliberately ingesting parasites as a cleanse so they lose weight. Rebalance toxins. Pretty grim.

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By *ose-tinted GlassesMan
over a year ago

Glasgow / London

Fucking horseflies, man. That’s all I’m saying. Absolute bastards.

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By *reyToTheFairiesWoman
over a year ago

Carlisle usually

Luckily I only seem to have that effect on humans. Bugs and parasites seem to avoid me entirely.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Fire ants. Woke up getting bitten all over.

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By *cunnylassCouple
over a year ago

Exeter

Mandy had a three-legged cat called Sinbad who gave me some of her fleas.She was nice like that...

Mike

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By *ensuallover1000 OP Man
over a year ago

Somewhere In The Ether…

I watched a fascinating documentary regarding parasites and how they can in some cases, actually control the hosts behaviour for their own ends(!!!!)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I used to help train a SAR team which involved deliberately getting lost in the mountains and only once got eaten alive by midges.

Avon Skin So Soft is the go to product for most SAR groups to avoid being bitten. "

I have a bottle of this! Spray oil. It does seem to work in the UK, haven’t tried it anywhere further afield yet.

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By *hGlobbitsMan
over a year ago

Liverpool

"Nobody ever wants to eat me.

Or bite me.

I am a bit gross though. "

Objectively untrue on all counts.

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By *ensuallover1000 OP Man
over a year ago

Somewhere In The Ether…

"Scotland was awful for midges. Esp around the Cairngorms/Cults way. Bleurgh, horrid things. Ruined a few al fresco sex sessions.

Anyway, I'm mainly commenting on this thread because people are deliberately ingesting parasites as a cleanse so they lose weight. Rebalance toxins. Pretty grim."

Oh yes, I remember the many ghastly stories regarding some of the super models in the nineties and early 2000’s who allegedly opted for this particular method…

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By *ealitybitesMan
over a year ago

Belfast

"I used to help train a SAR team which involved deliberately getting lost in the mountains and only once got eaten alive by midges.

Avon Skin So Soft is the go to product for most SAR groups to avoid being bitten.

I have a bottle of this! Spray oil. It does seem to work in the UK, haven’t tried it anywhere further afield yet."

I've used it in Yosemite without a single bite. The 2 people in our party who didn't use it spent the next week covered from head to toe in calamine lotion

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Nobody ever wants to eat me.

Or bite me.

I am a bit gross though.

Objectively untrue on all counts."

I'm definitely a bit gross.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Nobody ever wants to eat me.

Or bite me.

I am a bit gross though.

Objectively untrue on all counts.

I'm definitely a bit gross. "

Aren't we all! Climb on my beer belly baby!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I used to help train a SAR team which involved deliberately getting lost in the mountains and only once got eaten alive by midges.

Avon Skin So Soft is the go to product for most SAR groups to avoid being bitten. "
Lol true Avon works.

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By *ensuallover1000 OP Man
over a year ago

Somewhere In The Ether…

Has anyone seen the vids of parasites literally bursting out of their hosts in the insect kingdom?

Ridley Scott’s, Alien is bloody well true I tells thee!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Never had fleas.

I remember Nitty Nora doing the rounds at school and checking for them.

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By *ickshawedCouple
over a year ago

Wolverhampton

I'm not sure anyone wants to hear about the time we realised I had threadworms when my husband found one on his cock..

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By *ensuallover1000 OP Man
over a year ago

Somewhere In The Ether…

"I'm not sure anyone wants to hear about the time we realised I had threadworms when my husband found one on his cock..

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By *iscean_dreamMan
over a year ago

Llanelli

I remember having thread worms as a kid, OMG the itchy bum is something else

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By *iscean_dreamMan
over a year ago

Llanelli

"I'm not sure anyone wants to hear about the time we realised I had threadworms when my husband found one on his cock..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'm not sure anyone wants to hear about the time we realised I had threadworms when my husband found one on his cock..

Oh no, you DITNT ?!?

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By *riar BelisseWoman
over a year ago

Delightful Bliss

Growing up on the farm I've had

Ticks

Fleas

Lice

Leeches

Mozzie bites

Horse fly bites

We were wormed on a regular basis as well

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My ex bit my arm if that counts. She was evil.

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By *inger_SnapWoman
over a year ago

Hampshire/Dorset

I found a tick on my boob... Often had to remove them from the cats, I guess they just fancied something different to suck on

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By *ustdaveHantsMan
over a year ago

chippenham

Had a tick on my side when at Drayton Manor theme park. The medical staff had no idea what to do!!

The look on there faces when I said I need tweezers and vaseline

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'm not sure anyone wants to hear about the time we realised I had threadworms when my husband found one on his cock..

I died a little..

Good job it wasn't a random meet !

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I found a tick on my boob... Often had to remove them from the cats, I guess they just fancied something different to suck on

Developed a more sophisticated taste I guess

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

We used to get worms quite a lot aa a kid as we where always playing in the mud.

Used to get a milkshake type of medine to cure them

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Growing up on the farm I've had

Ticks

Fleas

Lice

Leeches

Mozzie bites

Horse fly bites

We were wormed on a regular basis as well"

Pretty much most of that and other crap.

We had a massive pear tree at the back of the house. Every Summer it was ridden with wasps! Funnily enough i have never been stung even though I wasn't actively avoiding them! It's like they knew not to touch the home occupants. Anyone else was a good game

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'm not sure anyone wants to hear about the time we realised I had threadworms when my husband found one on his cock..

I died a little..

Good job it wasn't a random meet ! "

That's enough fab for me for today

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By *ill1411Man
over a year ago

Durham

Mosquitoes on my first tour of Bosnia, little b'stards loved my blood.

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By *evonrobMan
over a year ago

Kingsbridge

Frankly who wouldn’t want to eat you, well parts of you anyway!

(Had to be said!)

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By *ndisMan
over a year ago

Liverpool

I was bitten by a werewolf a while ago!

Was scary at the time as got infected, and had a frw weeks off work!

But glad to say I'm over it and alright NoooooooooowwwwWWWWWWWWW!

Sorry! I know it's a crap joke I just couldn't resisy

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By *iddlesticksMan
over a year ago

My nan’s spare room.

Spent three days walking and camping on the hills in the highlands.

Had four ticks when I got home.

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By *hGlobbitsMan
over a year ago

Liverpool

"Nobody ever wants to eat me.

Or bite me.

I am a bit gross though.

Objectively untrue on all counts.

I'm definitely a bit gross. "

I mean... Who isn't?

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By *ttentiveRabbitMan
over a year ago

Lymington

Horse fucking flys!

I come over all Kung Fu at the slightest spot of one near now

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Did anyone watch the documentary ages ago where a guy deliberately ate a tape worm or similar and filmed as he got sicker from it. Until he couldn't take it any longer so took the meds to kill it and pass it so he could measure how long it had grown to....

There's just no need

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By *ensuallover1000 OP Man
over a year ago

Somewhere In The Ether…

"Did anyone watch the documentary ages ago where a guy deliberately ate a tape worm or similar and filmed as he got sicker from it. Until he couldn't take it any longer so took the meds to kill it and pass it so he could measure how long it had grown to....

There's just no need "

How long was it?

Did you know that the official world record for longest removed Tapeworm from a human being is….wait for it…..a whopping 82 feet(!!!)

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By *ad NannaWoman
over a year ago

East London

I managed to avoid head lice all through childhood and my teenage years, then caught them once from my children who had very long hair, and classmates whose parents didn't de-flea the whole family when one of them caught them.

I used to spend hours going through my girls' hair with conditioner and a lice comb, to make sure I caught any before they multiplied.

I managed to catch mine early and got rid of them quickly.

Back then there was a horrible-smelling liquid we used, but changed to hair conditioner and a comb when it was discontinued for being bad for us.

I was so glad when my children moved up to secondary school and the lice problem went away.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

There's just no need

How long was it?

Did you know that the official world record for longest removed Tapeworm from a human being is….wait for it…..a whopping 82 feet(!!!)

Can't recall but it was two or three lengths of him I think

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By *ools and the brainCouple
over a year ago

couple, us we him her.

I'm a mosquito magnet, Mrs never gets bitten if I'm around.

Could never go to a jungle or a country know for bitey stingy things, I'd probably only last a day at the most.

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By *ensuallover1000 OP Man
over a year ago

Somewhere In The Ether…

Botfly larvae…..they’re some nasty parasites.

The vids of their removal do make for curiously, wonderfully satisfying viewing though

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By *ttentiveRabbitMan
over a year ago

Lymington

"Botfly larvae…..they’re some nasty parasites.

The vids of their removal do make for curiously, wonderfully satisfying viewing though

I grossly like these videos, and blackhead popping ones lol

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By *ensuallover1000 OP Man
over a year ago

Somewhere In The Ether…

"Botfly larvae…..they’re some nasty parasites.

The vids of their removal do make for curiously, wonderfully satisfying viewing though

I grossly like these videos, and blackhead popping ones lol"

They’re incredibly relaxing in a sort of gross manner. I especially love the blackhead removal from the ears ones

(the earwax extraction ones are great fun to)

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By *andaloriansCouple
over a year ago

Malvern

Went camping with freinds in elan valley, wales. We all got picniced on by sheep ticks. Got home to recieve a text from one of the lads to inform us that hed found one on his ballsack while showering! Needless to say, being a caring lot, we never let him forget it!

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By *rFoxAndXenoCouple
over a year ago

Weymouth

"Has anyone seen the vids of parasites literally bursting out of their hosts in the insect kingdom?

Ridley Scott’s, Alien is bloody well true I tells thee!

You rang?

- Xeno

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By *ensuallover1000 OP Man
over a year ago

Somewhere In The Ether…

"Has anyone seen the vids of parasites literally bursting out of their hosts in the insect kingdom?

Ridley Scott’s, Alien is bloody well true I tells thee!

You rang?

- Xeno"

Xenomorphs….they would have ingratiated themselves so much better with we humans had they have learnt the simple etiquette of exiting the host via the anus….

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By *hePerkyPumpkinTV/TS
over a year ago

Bristol

Went wild camping once when I was about 15 with some friends. Didn't bring any bug spray and I spent half the night d*unk on the bare forest floor

I have never been eaten so badly in my life, the itching was absolutely unbearable... Yet remarkably (like I've never known before) satisfying to itch.

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By *ensuallover1000 OP Man
over a year ago

Somewhere In The Ether…

One for the chaps: There’s a lovely parasite in the Amazon called the Candiru; it’s actually a very small, almost translucent variety of catfish.

Why should this specifically be of concern to we fellas you may ask?

Well….there have been reports of it actually swimming into and up the urethras of hapless men urinating in the rivers in which it resides(!!!)

Even worse, it will then activate spines on its body in order to affix itself internally in place I.e inside the penis(!!!) before feasting on the victim’s blood!!!

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By *wist my nipplesCouple
over a year ago

North East Scotland, mostly

Oh lord, beasties love to munch on me! Horseflies are the worst in summer

Mrs TMN x

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By *iscean_dreamMan
over a year ago

Llanelli

"Went camping with freinds in elan valley, wales. We all got picniced on by sheep ticks. Got home to recieve a text from one of the lads to inform us that hed found one on his ballsack while showering! Needless to say, being a caring lot, we never let him forget it!

Please tell me you all call him balltick now

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By *inger_SnapWoman
over a year ago

Hampshire/Dorset

"Botfly larvae…..they’re some nasty parasites.

The vids of their removal do make for curiously, wonderfully satisfying viewing though

I grossly like these videos, and blackhead popping ones lol"

Same... I should have been the British version of Dr pimple popper... So satisfying!

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By *andaloriansCouple
over a year ago

Malvern

Please tell me you all call him balltick now

Hahaha nah, hes got other nicknames

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