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Product of your environment…

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Just saw this:

“Leaving your hometown in your 20s is a life hack…

Your environment plays a huge role in how you feel, what you think, how you carry yourself, who you hang out with, what you care about and what you do.

Once you switch your environment, you switch your focus.

You make friends based on common interests rather than growing up together…there is more to life than the same 10 people and the same 2 bars.“

What do YOU think?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"….

You make friends based on common interests rather than growing up together…there is more to life than the same 10 people and the same 2 bars.“

What do YOU think?"

True. talk to people who are goi g to get you to explore instead of wanting you to stay in the same place.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I agree that your environment can shape your decisions but I've never been drawn to people, with a very few exceptions.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Agreed. I went to school a few towns away from home (my choice apparently not sure why.) And always had friends in various places as a result and have kept that through life.

Moving from my town and spending 7 years in London was the best/most eye opening.

London gets a bad rap, I found it amazing. Accepting and friendly.

But I also like where I'm from and being able to walk into a pub and see familiar faces.

I forgot the question, sorry.

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By *riving_Home_For_MimiWoman
over a year ago

Hampshire/Dorset

I left and came back, a couple of times.

Still in touch with a hand full of friends from school, but don't really see them... Got bored of the reunions, nothing in common with them.

Friendships come and go, usually in cycles, I've been great friends with people for 5/7 years and then just go on different directions and lose touch. People I used to see most days I rarely think about.

No idea if that answers the question or not, but I love living in the city where I grew up.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex


"Just saw this:

“Leaving your hometown in your 20s is a life hack…

Your environment plays a huge role in how you feel, what you think, how you carry yourself, who you hang out with, what you care about and what you do.

Once you switch your environment, you switch your focus.

You make friends based on common interests rather than growing up together…there is more to life than the same 10 people and the same 2 bars.“

What do YOU think?"

Is there more to life? I think a person can live a fulfilling life with the same ten people in the same two bars.

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By *wisted999Man
over a year ago

North Bucks

Pfffffft

I left my home country to come to the UK at 14. Best thing I ever did.

However I do wish in my twenties that I should have moved to London or worked in London.

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By *ealitybitesMan
over a year ago

Belfast

I live 6 miles from where I was born and 8 miles from where I lived until I was 24. I didn't have the option of leaving in my teens because of responsibilities and being a carer from the age of 12 and I didn't have the finances at any other stage in my life to even consider moving.

My circle of friends in my teenage years was not the same circle in my 20s just as they morphed into a different circle in my 30s.

I've never given into peer pressure so friends had no real influence in my life.

The first half of my life to date was spent in the most heavily fortified area of Europe so there were always other priorities.

That could have influenced my life choices in an extremely negative way but it didn't because I never lost sight of what was important.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I left the bright lights of London 9 years ago to live in the arse end of nowhere for the quiet life.

Never before have I met so many closed minded people, there’s no culture, very little acceptance of anything new or different and they cannot / will not drive properly.

That being said……… the views are lovely and the women are cuuuuuuute

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Just saw this:

“Leaving your hometown in your 20s is a life hack…

Your environment plays a huge role in how you feel, what you think, how you carry yourself, who you hang out with, what you care about and what you do.

Once you switch your environment, you switch your focus.

You make friends based on common interests rather than growing up together…there is more to life than the same 10 people and the same 2 bars.“

What do YOU think?"

Profound

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Just saw this:

“Leaving your hometown in your 20s is a life hack…

Your environment plays a huge role in how you feel, what you think, how you carry yourself, who you hang out with, what you care about and what you do.

Once you switch your environment, you switch your focus.

You make friends based on common interests rather than growing up together…there is more to life than the same 10 people and the same 2 bars.“

What do YOU think?"
So true some of my childhood friends I have nothing in common with except hometown memories. My new one are based on common interests.

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By *hePerkyPumpkinTV/TS
over a year ago

Bristol

All of my closest friends I grew up with and and still have lots in common with.

Since moving away from home I've found it hard to make friends and meet people. I've managed to make two friends (people I'd consider true friends) since moving.

I think I have high expectations for people and friendship.

Lots of people are really nice and good to hang out with, but real friends are a rarity

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By *linyMan
over a year ago

Manchester/London


"Just saw this:

“Leaving your hometown in your 20s is a life hack…

Your environment plays a huge role in how you feel, what you think, how you carry yourself, who you hang out with, what you care about and what you do.

Once you switch your environment, you switch your focus.

You make friends based on common interests rather than growing up together…there is more to life than the same 10 people and the same 2 bars.“

What do YOU think?"

Partially true, if you’d like to discuss it further I’ll be in the Winchester!

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By *ehindHerEyesCouple
over a year ago

SomewhereOnlyWeKnow

It may sound harsh but as you upgrade your life you also need to upgrade the people you surround yourself with

Beard

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My mum's village where I grew up is weird as fuck. They either have 15 babies each now or they hang at the same local pub we used to drink at at 15 and prey on the latest legal girls

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Just saw this:

“Leaving your hometown in your 20s is a life hack…

Your environment plays a huge role in how you feel, what you think, how you carry yourself, who you hang out with, what you care about and what you do.

Once you switch your environment, you switch your focus.

You make friends based on common interests rather than growing up together…there is more to life than the same 10 people and the same 2 bars.“

What do YOU think?"

The old nature versus nuture debate.. theory suggest environment is thr biggest influence on a healthy happy content life...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I left the bright lights of London 9 years ago to live in the arse end of nowhere for the quiet life.

Never before have I met so many closed minded people, there’s no culture, very little acceptance of anything new or different and they cannot / will not drive properly.

That being said……… the views are lovely and the women are cuuuuuuute

"

I found when first lived here it was quite difficult to be accepted, but now 25 odd years I’m in the gang ( pitchforks & lantern gang)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Just saw this:

“Leaving your hometown in your 20s is a life hack…

Your environment plays a huge role in how you feel, what you think, how you carry yourself, who you hang out with, what you care about and what you do.

Once you switch your environment, you switch your focus.

You make friends based on common interests rather than growing up together…there is more to life than the same 10 people and the same 2 bars.“

What do YOU think?"

I’m gonna go all Bronski Beat but to me getting out of where I grew up was my salvation. Met a boy, fell in love, moved to London. Ok we didn’t last (2 years of which 6 months just fighting) but I never went back. You don’t run half a race get tired and run back to the start cause it seems too long.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I left the bright lights of London 9 years ago to live in the arse end of nowhere for the quiet life.

Never before have I met so many closed minded people, there’s no culture, very little acceptance of anything new or different and they cannot / will not drive properly.

That being said……… the views are lovely and the women are cuuuuuuute

I found when first lived here it was quite difficult to be accepted, but now 25 odd years I’m in the gang ( pitchforks & lantern gang) "

Coming from Norwich I can say you're too hot for Norwich

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I left the bright lights of London 9 years ago to live in the arse end of nowhere for the quiet life.

Never before have I met so many closed minded people, there’s no culture, very little acceptance of anything new or different and they cannot / will not drive properly.

That being said……… the views are lovely and the women are cuuuuuuute

I found when first lived here it was quite difficult to be accepted, but now 25 odd years I’m in the gang ( pitchforks & lantern gang)

Coming from Norwich I can say you're too hot for Norwich "

Ah bless , thank you

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I left the bright lights of London 9 years ago to live in the arse end of nowhere for the quiet life.

Never before have I met so many closed minded people, there’s no culture, very little acceptance of anything new or different and they cannot / will not drive properly.

That being said……… the views are lovely and the women are cuuuuuuute

I found when first lived here it was quite difficult to be accepted, but now 25 odd years I’m in the gang ( pitchforks & lantern gang)

Coming from Norwich I can say you're too hot for Norwich

Ah bless , thank you "

Urgh 'bless' Haha

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By *elix SightedMan
over a year ago

Cloud 8


"Just saw this:

“Leaving your hometown in your 20s is a life hack…

Your environment plays a huge role in how you feel, what you think, how you carry yourself, who you hang out with, what you care about and what you do.

Once you switch your environment, you switch your focus.

You make friends based on common interests rather than growing up together…there is more to life than the same 10 people and the same 2 bars.“

What do YOU think?"

I think it was written by someone who either did exactly that and can’t see why everyone wouldn’t, or who didn’t do it and regrets that.

I’d say it’s impossible to answer conclusively because either you did or you didn’t and will never know how you’d have turned out doing the opposite.

Personally, I declined the opportunity to travel, go to uni or move far away. I stuck to the area in which I grew up and made some friends for life. I still see most of them and I don’t see that as boring. I see it as maintaining true friendship with people who care about me and about whom I care.

As it happens, when I hit 35 I found myself unexpectedly single and miserable at work. I changed jobs and moved away and made some more great friends. That being said, I’m about to move back home!! And I’m excited about that because it’s where I feel most comfortable.

That last bit will undoubtedly be my wonky brain bossing me, but I’m ok with that, too.

I think most people will have done what felt right to them at the time, which was probably the right thing for them to do.

In other words, I don’t know hahaha

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By *elix SightedMan
over a year ago

Cloud 8


"Just saw this:

“Leaving your hometown in your 20s is a life hack…

Your environment plays a huge role in how you feel, what you think, how you carry yourself, who you hang out with, what you care about and what you do.

Once you switch your environment, you switch your focus.

You make friends based on common interests rather than growing up together…there is more to life than the same 10 people and the same 2 bars.“

What do YOU think?"

What do you think OP?

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By *reyToTheFairiesWoman
over a year ago

Carlisle usually

When I was growing up we moved every 3 months. Not like down the street, different cities, different counties, different islands. My mother eventually settled for a few years in my early teens, and it was the first time I was able to even begin making those bonds with friends.

I took the nomadic route for a few years after moving out. But I always eventually gravitated back here, to where my strongest support networks and most favourite people are. I still get itchy feet every so often, but I want to stay here.

I wander out of the area often. Kind of a necessity when the nearest clubs are well over an hour away. But there's nothing wrong with living somewhere safe, somewhere comfortable.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have lived in many different places. I have made many friends. But the friends you make until the early twenties are the ones who normally stick with you for long. Sure you will find people to do fun activities with. But I don't feel the deep connections that I have with my school friends, university friends and friends from my first job with any other friends I made later in my life. Doesn't mean the people I met later are bad.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Just saw this:

“Leaving your hometown in your 20s is a life hack…

Your environment plays a huge role in how you feel, what you think, how you carry yourself, who you hang out with, what you care about and what you do.

Once you switch your environment, you switch your focus.

You make friends based on common interests rather than growing up together…there is more to life than the same 10 people and the same 2 bars.“

What do YOU think?"

100%

This is true of my boy, we live in a quiet rural area, he was socially inept, very quiet, happiest at home. He went to School and college local but went to University in Scotland because (in his words) the best University for his discipline....He never looked back....It changed him for sure

Ended up working in Edinburgh as a Game Developer, found his patch, loved the social side of work and made friends, got promoted and set up LAN parties for kids in Edinburgh and is mentor for the Game Dev Students at his old University and in Edinburgh.

He moved to London in January to take up a position in a Swedish gaming company....The shy child has gone, he is self assured, confident and knows his worth...I don't think he would have these attributes had he not moved away.....On paper he should not of succeeded, gender/environment/family/Schooling are all factors when determing areas in need

It's true are a product of your environment, your peers, your family....Family I belive should be the foundation for the future as we should shape our kids to survive and evolve in an ever changing world. I was forever telling my children that there is so much to see and explore and to grow as people they need to experience the wider world.

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By *astesLikeMagicWoman
over a year ago

Newcastle

I left.

I came back after 8 years.

I'm not in touch with anyone from that place. The only people I spoke to there were other mams.

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By *urls and DressesWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere near here

True, I never went back home after university and moved 50 miles away when I was 22. I still have the friends I grew up with, however they’ve not necessarily looked beyond the small town. Whenever I go back it’s still the same people I bump into and the same stories. I have friends that I grew up with in adulthood from when I moved here but I’ve also made friends through common ground; interests, volunteering, through my children etc.

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By *heBlowinsCouple
over a year ago

West Cork

[Removed by poster at 31/01/23 08:23:28]

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By *heBlowinsCouple
over a year ago

West Cork


"Just saw this:

“Leaving your hometown in your 20s is a life hack…

Your environment plays a huge role in how you feel, what you think, how you carry yourself, who you hang out with, what you care about and what you do.

Once you switch your environment, you switch your focus.

You make friends based on common interests rather than growing up together…there is more to life than the same 10 people and the same 2 bars.“

What do YOU think?

I think it was written by someone who either did exactly that and can’t see why everyone wouldn’t, or who didn’t do it and regrets that.

I’d say it’s impossible to answer conclusively because either you did or you didn’t and will never know how you’d have turned out doing the opposite."

I agree.

I think the original quote has that veneer of sounding authoritative but the advice is clearly individualistic and targeted toward people in rural and perhaps suburban areas.

We all have different social, career, and family needs and ambitions- we make our own paths.

Your childhood environment might play a huge role in forming your adult self but it isn't inherently a bad thing as the author is implying.

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By *nightsoftheCoffeeTableCouple
over a year ago

Leeds

I'm so pleased I left where I grew up, it was full of unhappy memories and people who just did the same old drinking daily and nothing more, it was a huge relief to leave and finally focus on myself.

Mrs

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By *TG3Man
over a year ago

Dorchester


"Just saw this:

“Leaving your hometown in your 20s is a life hack…

Your environment plays a huge role in how you feel, what you think, how you carry yourself, who you hang out with, what you care about and what you do.

Once you switch your environment, you switch your focus.

You make friends based on common interests rather than growing up together…there is more to life than the same 10 people and the same 2 bars.“

What do YOU think?"
I've never really stayed in ' my environment' i think i make friends /aquaintences easily but essentially I'm a loyal person who works well in a partnership

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By *ustBoWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere in Co. Down

I only lived in a town or city twice in my life.I love the countryside and rural life. I left home on my teens and have lost count of the amount of houses I've lived in. I didn't move from my home county until I was in my 40s and I now live at the other end of the country.

I lost touch with people I was friendly with in school shortly after I left there. I have a very small handful of people I consider to be true friends.Two of them I've been friends for over 20 years and another is a friend I made in the last few years but is someone I trust completely.

I don't believe people need to move away to be fulfilled in life as long as they are happy that's the most important thing.

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By *TG3Man
over a year ago

Dorchester

I was never in a school long enough to make life long friends, shame really my dad moved around a lot lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I agree. I left my home town in my early 20s and it was the best thing I ever did. I absolutely hated the area, I was so miserable and lost living there watching the same people stuck in the same shitty routine, then watching my school mates turn into their parents. I left, made a new life for myself & never returned

Mrs C

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By *aiseiMan
over a year ago

Birmingham

I think it can help, but it’s by no means a ‘must do’. You can shape your world how you want it, if you’re prepared to put in the effort and make the sacrifices required.

Most of my current friends are from places I’ve worked and have found common ground with; I speak to almost no-one from my school days.

I live less than half a mile from where I grew up, but some of that is driven by older family members who rely on me still.

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