FabSwingers.com forum: Random compliment

By *ttentiveRabbit OP Man
over a year ago

Lymington

I have a toxic trait that if I am out shopping and there is a pretty lady.

I would pass a compliment, like lovely dress, nice hair or nice perfume, then wish them good day whilst they are surprised and walk away as to not make them feel I expect expect them to engage.

Due to the exit, I don't fully see the reactions.

If someone did this to you, would you appreciate it or does it come over a little creepy ?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Why is it toxic ?

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By *reyToTheFairiesWoman
over a year ago

Carlisle usually

If I'm busy doing my thing, if I'm walking, talking with friends or clearly engaged in a task, compliments are wildly unwelcome from strangers.

If I'm stood waiting for someone or otherwise unoccupied, a compliment froma stranger would still be awkward but at least less likely to get an outright "You can fuck off now" look.

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By *ttentiveRabbit OP Man
over a year ago

Lymington

"Why is it toxic ?

Because it's becoming a habit

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By *ellinever70Woman
over a year ago

Ayrshire

It wouldn't put a spring in my step, no

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By *ttentiveRabbit OP Man
over a year ago

Lymington

"If I'm busy doing my thing, if I'm walking, talking with friends or clearly engaged in a task, compliments are wildly unwelcome from strangers.

If I'm stood waiting for someone or otherwise unoccupied, a compliment froma stranger would still be awkward but at least less likely to get an outright "You can fuck off now" look."

Always only been unoccupied, the piss take from friends wouldn't be welcomed

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By *vilgasamWoman
over a year ago

The dot in the i

It depends, if I’m busy then it’s a distraction from my train of thought so it’s annoying but there are appropriate times and places, like at the swinger club where that would be a nice icebreaker

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 29/01/23 14:24:30]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 29/01/23 14:25:00]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ummmm it's one of those things that depends on where/how etc.

If I were stood in a queue and the person next caught my eye and kindly complimented me "oh that's a lovely scarf, lovely shade of blue" or something innocuous then I'd not see it as disturbing.

If they walked up out of the ether and said "you have beautiful eyes" or whatever...and it left me thinking "that guy has been watching me" I'd be feeling majorly creeped out & very uncomfortable.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Why is it toxic ?

Because it's becoming a habit

Without knowing all the ins and outs I believe toxic behaviour is manipulative and self focused in their nature. You aren't looking to gain anything from it it seems so not really toxic I think..

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By *den-Valley-coupleCouple
over a year ago

Cumbria

[Removed by poster at 29/01/23 14:26:39]

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By *den-Valley-coupleCouple
over a year ago

Cumbria

"I have a toxic trait that if I am out shopping and there is a pretty lady.

I would pass a compliment, like lovely dress, nice hair or nice perfume, then wish them good day whilst they are surprised and walk away as to not make them feel I expect expect them to engage.

Due to the exit, I don't fully see the reactions.

If someone did this to you, would you appreciate it or does it come over a little creepy ?"

It's sounds as you're working on y pickup skills

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By *ttentiveRabbit OP Man
over a year ago

Lymington

"I have a toxic trait that if I am out shopping and there is a pretty lady.

I would pass a compliment, like lovely dress, nice hair or nice perfume, then wish them good day whilst they are surprised and walk away as to not make them feel I expect expect them to engage.

Due to the exit, I don't fully see the reactions.

If someone did this to you, would you appreciate it or does it come over a little creepy ?

It's sounds as you're working on y pickup skills

Possibly, just think people are too quick to put someone down, but not enough building people up

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By *ttentiveRabbit OP Man
over a year ago

Lymington

"Why is it toxic ?

Because it's becoming a habit

Without knowing all the ins and outs I believe toxic behaviour is manipulative and self focused in their nature. You aren't looking to gain anything from it it seems so not really toxic I think.. "

Valid reason, not looking to personally gain, more to show appreciation when someone has probably made effort or unsure of themselves to hope it has some positive impact

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By *ttentiveRabbit OP Man
over a year ago

Lymington

"Ummmm it's one of those things that depends on where/how etc.

If I were stood in a queue and the person next caught my eye and kindly complimented me "oh that's a lovely scarf, lovely shade of blue" or something innocuous then I'd not see it as disturbing.

If they walked up out of the ether and said "you have beautiful eyes" or whatever...and it left me thinking "that guy has been watching me" I'd be feeling majorly creeped out & very uncomfortable."

Lol yes ‘nice eyes’ or similar would be very creepy.

Especially if you greet them with Salom on Friday night

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By *ellinever70Woman
over a year ago

Ayrshire

"Why is it toxic ?

Because it's becoming a habit

Without knowing all the ins and outs I believe toxic behaviour is manipulative and self focused in their nature. You aren't looking to gain anything from it it seems so not really toxic I think..

Valid reason, not looking to personally gain, more to show appreciation when someone has probably made effort or unsure of themselves to hope it has some positive impact "

What makes you think these women are unsure of themselves and need building up?

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By *ttentiveRabbit OP Man
over a year ago

Lymington

"It depends, if I’m busy then it’s a distraction from my train of thought so it’s annoying but there are appropriate times and places, like at the swinger club where that would be a nice icebreaker "

Yet to do a club and is on the list of 2023

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I have a toxic trait that if I am out shopping and there is a pretty lady.

I would pass a compliment, like lovely dress, nice hair or nice perfume, then wish them good day whilst they are surprised and walk away as to not make them feel I expect expect them to engage.

Due to the exit, I don't fully see the reactions.

If someone did this to you, would you appreciate it or does it come over a little creepy ?"

Why do you see this as toxic? Only toxic if your doing it with seedy alteriar motives, and it leaves you feeling a certain way. if your just being nice then I'd argue bit a toxic trait

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Please don’t approach me whilst I am out minding my own business

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I have a toxic trait that if I am out shopping and there is a pretty lady.

I would pass a compliment, like lovely dress, nice hair or nice perfume, then wish them good day whilst they are surprised and walk away as to not make them feel I expect expect them to engage.

Due to the exit, I don't fully see the reactions.

If someone did this to you, would you appreciate it or does it come over a little creepy ?"

I don't think this is a bad trait. I will often ompliment random strangers both men and women because why not.. why shouldn't we raise people up.

Good for you but don't do it for the reaction do it because you mean it

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By *ttentiveRabbit OP Man
over a year ago

Lymington

"I have a toxic trait that if I am out shopping and there is a pretty lady.

I would pass a compliment, like lovely dress, nice hair or nice perfume, then wish them good day whilst they are surprised and walk away as to not make them feel I expect expect them to engage.

Due to the exit, I don't fully see the reactions.

If someone did this to you, would you appreciate it or does it come over a little creepy ?

Why do you see this as toxic? Only toxic if your doing it with seedy alteriar motives, and it leaves you feeling a certain way. if your just being nice then I'd argue bit a toxic trait "

Not seedy and without motive apart from to ‘be kind’

But was concerned if it is actually coming across wrong

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By *ttentiveRabbit OP Man
over a year ago

Lymington

"I have a toxic trait that if I am out shopping and there is a pretty lady.

I would pass a compliment, like lovely dress, nice hair or nice perfume, then wish them good day whilst they are surprised and walk away as to not make them feel I expect expect them to engage.

Due to the exit, I don't fully see the reactions.

If someone did this to you, would you appreciate it or does it come over a little creepy ?

I don't think this is a bad trait. I will often ompliment random strangers both men and women because why not.. why shouldn't we raise people up.

Good for you but don't do it for the reaction do it because you mean it"

Always mean it

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By *ebauchedDeviantsPt2Couple
over a year ago

Cumbria

"I have a toxic trait that if I am out shopping and there is a pretty lady.

I would pass a compliment, like lovely dress, nice hair or nice perfume, then wish them good day whilst they are surprised and walk away as to not make them feel I expect expect them to engage.

Due to the exit, I don't fully see the reactions.

If someone did this to you, would you appreciate it or does it come over a little creepy ?"

More than a little creepy, it seems as though you are doing it because you get off on it.

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By *ttentiveRabbit OP Man
over a year ago

Lymington

"Please don’t approach me whilst I am out minding my own business

You’d probably scare me :P

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

So long as you're not holding a door open for women so they have to do that awkward run... I hate that

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By *yresMan
over a year ago

Midland town

Why do think people need to be built up, to bolster their confidence , yes they might have some pleasing to the eye attributes ,but to express that to strangers in passing, no it just does not seem right.

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By *andyfloss2000Woman
over a year ago

ashford

Would take it for what it was a compliment and probably smile on my way x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Why is it toxic ?

Because it's becoming a habit

Without knowing all the ins and outs I believe toxic behaviour is manipulative and self focused in their nature. You aren't looking to gain anything from it it seems so not really toxic I think..

Valid reason, not looking to personally gain, more to show appreciation when someone has probably made effort or unsure of themselves to hope it has some positive impact "

I wouldn't analyse how they feel.. because then it's more about you feeling like you are some hero. Just acknowledgement of a beauty without overthinking the impact is a kind act in my eyes. I've done it to both men and women and never had strange reactions. But I am a woman.

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By *lephantisMan
over a year ago

Oxford

"So long as you're not holding a door open for women so they have to do that awkward run... I hate that

I'm afraid I do this, but I do always say 'No rush!' And I don't discriminate between men and women.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I have a toxic trait that if I am out shopping and there is a pretty lady.

I would pass a compliment, like lovely dress, nice hair or nice perfume, then wish them good day whilst they are surprised and walk away as to not make them feel I expect expect them to engage.

Due to the exit, I don't fully see the reactions.

If someone did this to you, would you appreciate it or does it come over a little creepy ?

More than a little creepy, it seems as though you are doing it because you get off on it."

That's what I picked up too

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Please don’t approach me whilst I am out minding my own business

You’d probably scare me :P"

Thank god for that

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I have a toxic trait that if I am out shopping and there is a pretty lady.

I would pass a compliment, like lovely dress, nice hair or nice perfume, then wish them good day whilst they are surprised and walk away as to not make them feel I expect expect them to engage.

Due to the exit, I don't fully see the reactions.

If someone did this to you, would you appreciate it or does it come over a little creepy ?

Why do you see this as toxic? Only toxic if your doing it with seedy alteriar motives, and it leaves you feeling a certain way. if your just being nice then I'd argue bit a toxic trait

Not seedy and without motive apart from to ‘be kind’

But was concerned if it is actually coming across wrong "

I'm getting that your feeling a certain about this behaviour, and maybe trying to justify to yourself why your actually doing it, so you say the motive is to be kind. However, we're not always aware our true motives as thet often lie in the subconscious.

But on the other hand viewing it as toxic behaviour. Which suggests to me, something isint sitting right with you..

I'd suggest look at what you get out the behaviour and not what the other person gets or how they view...everything has to be brought back to self..

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By *ttentiveRabbit OP Man
over a year ago

Lymington

"I have a toxic trait that if I am out shopping and there is a pretty lady.

I would pass a compliment, like lovely dress, nice hair or nice perfume, then wish them good day whilst they are surprised and walk away as to not make them feel I expect expect them to engage.

Due to the exit, I don't fully see the reactions.

If someone did this to you, would you appreciate it or does it come over a little creepy ?

More than a little creepy, it seems as though you are doing it because you get off on it.

That's what I picked up too"

No, not to get off on it, just don’t want to offend and would stop if it would

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"So long as you're not holding a door open for women so they have to do that awkward run... I hate that

I would just take my time nodding politely and smiling. No need to run if he wants to make an effort.. let him make real effort and stand there for a bit.

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By *ellinever70Woman
over a year ago

Ayrshire

There's less chance of you offending if you curb your need to compliment women just going about their business

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I appreciate a compliment, so if a stranger said. " Excuse me, that colour really suits you" or something similar, it would make me feel more positive. There's nothing wrong with passing genuine compliments and both parties get something from it.

LadyO

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I have a toxic trait that if I am out shopping and there is a pretty lady.

I would pass a compliment, like lovely dress, nice hair or nice perfume, then wish them good day whilst they are surprised and walk away as to not make them feel I expect expect them to engage.

Due to the exit, I don't fully see the reactions.

If someone did this to you, would you appreciate it or does it come over a little creepy ?"

Absolutely no harm in that whatsoever, I would thank you for saying so

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By *ebauchedDeviantsPt2Couple
over a year ago

Cumbria

"I have a toxic trait that if I am out shopping and there is a pretty lady.

I would pass a compliment, like lovely dress, nice hair or nice perfume, then wish them good day whilst they are surprised and walk away as to not make them feel I expect expect them to engage.

Due to the exit, I don't fully see the reactions.

If someone did this to you, would you appreciate it or does it come over a little creepy ?

More than a little creepy, it seems as though you are doing it because you get off on it.

That's what I picked up too

No, not to get off on it, just don’t want to offend and would stop if it would"

There are some women who would find a complete stranger complimenting them and walking off creepy, and perhaps unsettling. There are some who won’t. The problem is you have no way of distinguishing between the two.

As you have said, you see it as being potentially toxic, which means you probably know it’s not something you should be doing.

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By *r TriomanMan
over a year ago

Chippenham Malmesbury area

When I'm out on my motorbike I always get complimented on my bike. Once, whilst out shopping, I was complimented by a very attractive woman on my shows; I blushed, said "thank you" walked off.

Normally, I'd consider being complimented by a stranger as a bit odd but in a pub or a club, I'd think that it was possibly do e as an 'ice breaker' to get chatting to me, for whatever reason.

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By *eroLondonMan
over a year ago

Covent Garden

I'm not suggesting that paying a compliment like the OP has suggested is a right thing or a wrong thing. I don't have a pertinent answer.

If we disregard for a moment the concept of matchmaking, blind dates / 'setups' by mutual agreement, arranged unions/marriages, matrimonial services, online dating and smartphone dating/hook-up Apps...

What remaining approach is there — without any lecherous or inappropriate undertones — when striking up a polite conversation with a person?

So what would be the most acceptable and morally-correct way in meeting people...which sometimes leads to courting, bonding, betrothing and, perhaps, procreating?

What did people do in the old days? What did our parents do?

I do not know.

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By *r TriomanMan
over a year ago

Chippenham Malmesbury area

"When I'm out on my motorbike I always get complimented on my bike. Once, whilst out shopping, I was complimented by a very attractive woman on my shows; I blushed, said "thank you" walked off.

Normally, I'd consider being complimented by a stranger as a bit odd but in a pub or a club, I'd think that it was possibly do e as an 'ice breaker' to get chatting to me, for whatever reason."

Typo... not my shows, my shoes...

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By *ull English with teaMan
over a year ago

London

I receive lots of compliments from ladies when I’m out and it can be a bit of a chore…

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'm not suggesting that paying a compliment like the OP has suggested is a right thing or a wrong thing. I don't have a pertinent answer.

What remaining approach is there — without any lecherous or inappropriate undertones — when striking up a polite conversation with a person?

So what would be the most acceptable and morally-correct way in meeting people...which sometimes leads to courting, bonding, betrothing and, perhaps, procreating?

What did people do in the old days? What did our parents do?

I do not know."

Thought of the same. What people did before all the online avenues? I'm guessing some might not remember those days. Might as well stop interacting ?

OP for every few you'll make smile there might be someone who won't appreciate it. Doesn't mean you should stop it completely, just let them deal with their own reaction.

When you say it becomes a habit - do you actively seek those praise opportunities, excessively perhaps? That would be the only thing which would concern me and make me self reflect. Otherwise, not really.

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By *ulieAndBeefCouple
over a year ago

Manchester-ish

The thing that stands out to me is the 'pretty lady' bit. Are you only nice to people you find attractive? Is that why it's maybe feeling a bit toxic?

A compliment freely given is a lovely thing. I've had men turn aggressive when I've not then been adequately grateful for the comment. So I'm always going to be a bit wary of a compliment out of the blue.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

10 best ever

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By *imi_RougeWoman
over a year ago

Portsmouth

It's a fine line... Personally, I like it when someone compliments something I'm wearing or my hair. That's perfectly acceptable. I don't like it if people mention eyes/smile/other body parts, that's a little creepy.

My friends and I will often compliment other people when we're out together, usually on the same kind of thing. The other day I asked the girl who works in Sainsbury's what perfume she was wearing as it smelt lovely.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I wouldn't be too bothered, unless you lingered. I'd just assume you were trying to get into my pants and it would be meaningless.

I rarely believe compliments from men, they'll say anything to catch a woman's attention. But you never know, if there's mutual attraction it could lead to something great. As long as you're being respectful, keeping your distance and not making someone uncomfortable it's not that big of a deal. But it's good to understand some women wouldn't be happy about it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If I was a woman it would creep me out

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"It's a fine line... Personally, I like it when someone compliments something I'm wearing or my hair. That's perfectly acceptable. I don't like it if people mention eyes/smile/other body parts, that's a little creepy.

That’s just made me realise that the compliments I give are always clothing, shoes, bags, haircuts, make up. I do sometimes compliment men (family/colleagues/friends) if they look smart or they’ve had a haircut. But never their body or facial features - how interesting!

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By *ex HolesMan
over a year ago

Up North

I always compliment someone on their actions like going out of their way to help someone.

I’ve never complementing someone on material things and never will. I’m not interested in the biggest swinging dick in the room.

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By *weetkitten65Woman
over a year ago

Halifax

I'd love it

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