FabSwingers.com forum: Mental Health

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I recently made the cry for help after struggling for sometime. I knew I needed help but refused to ask. I'm ex military and we all support each other yet I still couldn't.

Guys and girls dobt struggle alone its a killer.

Not much to comment on realky just me now being an advocate for help woth mental health

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By *inister_SpinsterWoman
over a year ago

North West

I hope you're on your way to feeling better OP.

Respect for having the bravery to ask for help.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I hope you're on your way to feeling better OP.

Respect for having the bravery to ask for help. "

Got to start somewhere and the weight that lifted after just being honest woth myself is already huge

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By *rtyIanMan
over a year ago

Gateway to the Beacons

Plenty of us here to help fella

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By *inister_SpinsterWoman
over a year ago

North West

"I hope you're on your way to feeling better OP.

Respect for having the bravery to ask for help.

Got to start somewhere and the weight that lifted after just being honest woth myself is already huge"

Brilliant.

It can be such a relief knowing you're not alone.

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By *entBarryUKMan
over a year ago

Ashford

You are not alone mate, lot's of us have been there. It does help to talk about it and it does help to be with friends and also to be away from hiding at home. It is hard to start with, but it does get easier with time.

My doctor suggested meds, which I thought was only for really sick people and not going to help, but they can lift your mood, if you need them.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Brave post OP, and to everyone remember this:

What is the bravest thing you've ever said? asked the boy. 'Help,' said the horse.

'Asking for help isn't giving up,' said the horse. 'It's refusing to give up.

Charlie Mackesy, The Boy, the Mole, the Fox and the Horse

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By *asycouple1971Couple
over a year ago

midlands

Well done OP.

I think we struggle but dont speak out.

Going to be more people struggling due to the cost of living etc.

I get dark moments as well and try to speak out but finding it hard.

Him x

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By *unx2019Couple
over a year ago

Moray

My question would be”when’s time to ask for help?”

These days find times that sit in chair late at night not wanting to go to bed, get emotional at silliest things, have severe mood swings, and although don’t have suicidal thoughts just want to be left alone. Yet know I can’t as have two kids and a partner, house to look after and now just been made redundant, but will carry on as usual.

Sorry to have put dampener in a Sunday morning

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"My question would be”when’s time to ask for help?”

Sorry to have put dampener in a Sunday morning

You kind of just did ask for help. You made the first step by talking about it. Maybe speak to your doctor. Xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"My question would be”when’s time to ask for help?”

Sorry to have put dampener in a Sunday morning

I’m sorry to hear this. I googled counselling in my area and self referred online. It was an easy process, then I had to do two inductions by phone call to work out which was the best therapy for me. That was more difficult as talking is hard to begin with.

The first step is admitting to yourself that you need help, especially if you’re used to keeping everything together and not letting people see what’s really going on for you. You know you need help, so you’re on the right track. You can have a look online for services you can self refer to, or make an appointment to see the doctor, but don’t put it off x

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By *raig20002000Man
over a year ago

annan

Its a hard thing to admit but it gets better

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By *unx2019Couple
over a year ago

Moray

"Its a hard thing to admit but it gets better"

Been telling myself that for years

Will say not looking for sympathy, was bought up in an age where you just got on with and 25 years in the military doesn’t change that mind set. Yeah probably do need help but either too hard or stupid to accept it, but thank you for the kind words.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Brave post OP, and to everyone remember this:

What is the bravest thing you've ever said? asked the boy. 'Help,' said the horse.

'Asking for help isn't giving up,' said the horse. 'It's refusing to give up.

Charlie Mackesy, The Boy, the Mole, the Fox and the Horse"

That just hit hard.. top man

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By *rtyIanMan
over a year ago

Gateway to the Beacons

I have suffered for year's and for a long time, I bottled it up inside and never talked to anyone.

I did a course with a charity that worked with veterans with PTSD and other mental health issues. I became a personal development coach.

I talk about mental health issues on my website and do videos where I talk about what's happening in my life

It's called Bollox from the river

https://youtube.com/@bolloxfromtheriver5686

Never suffer in silence my friend there is always someone to talk to x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

This is so incredibly brave. Well done OP for speaking up and advocating for others. As a person struggling with mental health for a plethora of reasons, I'd say, don't wait until things are bad, don't wait until the struggle is too much to handle, get help as soon as you recognise a small detail, because the sooner you get help, the most you are going to make of it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

That first step is the hardest

And the best thing you can do x

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"This is so incredibly brave. Well done OP for speaking up and advocating for others. As a person struggling with mental health for a plethora of reasons, I'd say, don't wait until things are bad, don't wait until the struggle is too much to handle, get help as soon as you recognise a small detail, because the sooner you get help, the most you are going to make of it.

Someone said these wise words to me in relation to the difference between men and women

Women express, men suppress

Women have an incredible ability to get help sooner us men have to get better

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Brave post OP, and to everyone remember this:

What is the bravest thing you've ever said? asked the boy. 'Help,' said the horse.

'Asking for help isn't giving up,' said the horse. 'It's refusing to give up.

Charlie Mackesy, The Boy, the Mole, the Fox and the Horse"

I love that book and watched the TV adaption with my 2 year only last week.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Someone said these wise words to me in relation to the difference between men and women

Women express, men suppress

Women have an incredible ability to get help sooner us men have to get better "

Well, I find that to be a generalisation that is not always true, and it definitely wasn’t in my case. I’d say it’s the best advice I have to give though

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Someone said these wise words to me in relation to the difference between men and women

Women express, men suppress

Women have an incredible ability to get help sooner us men have to get better

Well, I find that to be a generalisation that is not always true, and it definitely wasn’t in my case. I’d say it’s the best advice I have to give though

No no im.sure it's not the case everytime and I'm glad we have both taken steps to get the best help we can

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have a mild form of bi polar called

Cyclothymia, Folk think ya crackers and never take ya seriously. Its crap. Cos ya not crackers!

Google it see. That is my life!

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By *imi_RougeWoman
over a year ago

Portsmouth

All Call Signs is a fantastic charity for any military veterans.

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By *hristopherd999Man
over a year ago

Brentwood

I hope you're doing well

Thank you for serving our country

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By * F 2018Couple
over a year ago

shropshire

"I recently made the cry for help after struggling for sometime. I knew I needed help but refused to ask. I'm ex military and we all support each other yet I still couldn't.

Guys and girls dobt struggle alone its a killer.

Not much to comment on realky just me now being an advocate for help woth mental health"

Hope you're in a better place op

Yes its better to reach out and talk.

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By *ittlemiss Hal O weenCouple
over a year ago

Southampton

"I recently made the cry for help after struggling for sometime. I knew I needed help but refused to ask. I'm ex military and we all support each other yet I still couldn't.

Guys and girls dobt struggle alone its a killer.

Not much to comment on realky just me now being an advocate for help woth mental health"

I'm glad you reached out... I've been there and done that x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Brave post OP, and to everyone remember this:

What is the bravest thing you've ever said? asked the boy. 'Help,' said the horse.

'Asking for help isn't giving up,' said the horse. 'It's refusing to give up.

Charlie Mackesy, The Boy, the Mole, the Fox and the Horse"

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"All Call Signs is a fantastic charity for any military veterans."

Their beacon alerts ha e saved at least two friends lives.. if that isn't inspiration to get help what it

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I hope you're doing well

Thank you for serving our country"

No thanks needed but they are appreciated my friend

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Brave post OP, and to everyone remember this:

What is the bravest thing you've ever said? asked the boy. 'Help,' said the horse.

'Asking for help isn't giving up,' said the horse. 'It's refusing to give up.

Charlie Mackesy, The Boy, the Mole, the Fox and the Horse

I think I ha e sent this quote to so many people since seeing it here.. my new life mantra

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I recently made the cry for help after struggling for sometime. I knew I needed help but refused to ask. I'm ex military and we all support each other yet I still couldn't.

Guys and girls dobt struggle alone its a killer.

Not much to comment on realky just me now being an advocate for help woth mental health"

Hope you get the help you need man. I did the same just before Xmas after too long putting it off. And has only been positive for me so far.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I recently made the cry for help after struggling for sometime. I knew I needed help but refused to ask. I'm ex military and we all support each other yet I still couldn't.

Guys and girls dobt struggle alone its a killer.

Not much to comment on realky just me now being an advocate for help woth mental health"
Volunteer with as veteran program. It helps A lot being able to talk with people with the same experiences. We both vets we know that feeling. Idk if there is a UK equivalent to wounded warrior project. Please look into it.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I recently made the cry for help after struggling for sometime. I knew I needed help but refused to ask. I'm ex military and we all support each other yet I still couldn't.

Guys and girls dobt struggle alone its a killer.

Not much to comment on realky just me now being an advocate for help woth mental health Volunteer with as veteran program. It helps A lot being able to talk with people with the same experiences. We both vets we know that feeling. Idk if there is a UK equivalent to wounded warrior project. Please look into it.

Thing is I want to be able to talk withiut people truly understanding. Without the military un conscious bias

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

A better day today

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By *ackbydemandMan
over a year ago

Leicester

I've had a fair amount of trauma over the years but this month especially has taken a serious toll on me. A very special someone in this thread gave me exactly the pick me up I needed. I haven't burdened her with the details but she has cemented a very special place with me. You know who you are

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By *andyfloss2000Woman
over a year ago

ashford

Would b glad of some helpful things I can say as allways seem to say wrong things! Have a daughter that has allways struggled! And is really struggling again right now I suggested she go back to docs for medication which she's been on in past but she said it made her worse if anything! I said they will try something different! She will not try counselling! X

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By *inky_couple2020Couple
over a year ago

North West

My MH is completely fucked at the moment. The idea that I might have lost the last remnants of the function of my left leg, plus the immense amount of pain, is just too much. I don't see the point in existing like this.

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By *ove2pleaseseukMan
over a year ago

Hastings

"A better day today"

Have you tried CBT or talking therapy at all.

Or even Mindfulness

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"My MH is completely fucked at the moment. The idea that I might have lost the last remnants of the function of my left leg, plus the immense amount of pain, is just too much. I don't see the point in existing like this. "

Have had similar thoughts hence getting help

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By *ove2pleaseseukMan
over a year ago

Hastings

Thinking of you and your ducks from another Forum I had thoughts like you about 5 years ago and with support you can get through it. Part of my coping strategies is chating on hear there is very little negativity even when I spell things wrong.

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By *unloving43Man
over a year ago

bedroom window

Mental health is shit guys n girls. I swing due to the endorphins sex releases it helps my depression has literally saved my life I was clinically depressed suicidal 4 attempts but everytime someone found me. So I literally tryd everything to help me but the sexual release was the only think that helped me I'm no Brad Pitt n have confidence issues to but the only time I have felt like ending it was last night when I got abused like mad about my looks first time ever had it n I have been on n off here for yrs but only time I wanted to end it due to the site it has always helped me so much. My mail box is always open to help anyone even just to chat or be that voice or person cos trust me I have been there peeps x

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By *inky_couple2020Couple
over a year ago

North West

Have had similar thoughts hence getting help"

I had a lengthy chat with the psychology people in the hospital today. I asked to speak to the crisis team at the weekend. They refused to come because they were told it would be impossible for me to do anything because I'm stuck in bed, attached to a catheter etc. They sent a leaflet about outpatient support groups. Things like for under 35s, groups for men, groups for carers, helplines about dementia, support for military veterans, alcohol drug support services, homelessness support, single parent support. Guess how many of the aforenamed apply to me?? It's enough to send you over the bloody edge

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By *inky_couple2020Couple
over a year ago

North West

Thanks, last I checked, a couple of ducks were going off at a tangent

I just don't want to live like this. There's zero joy in an existence that's just pure, unremitting pain. That's how I feel.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If there's one thing us guy's are good at, it's stubbornly hiding our feelings and MH.

I myself have had issues, since my partners passing...but talking about your struggles and issues helps a lot.

We as a gender have to start desensitizing the stigma... And opening up more...

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By *unloving43Man
over a year ago

bedroom window

"If there's one thing us guy's are good at, it's stubbornly hiding our feelings and MH.

I myself have had issues, since my partners passing...but talking about your struggles and issues helps a lot.

We as a gender have to start desensitizing the stigma... And opening up more...

So very true talking helps big time

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By *ove2pleaseseukMan
over a year ago

Hastings

Thanks, last I checked, a couple of ducks were going off at a tangent

I just don't want to live like this. There's zero joy in an existence that's just pure, unremitting pain. That's how I feel. "

So sorry to hear that you need to sort them pesky ducks out ASAP

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I recently made the cry for help after struggling for sometime. I knew I needed help but refused to ask. I'm ex military and we all support each other yet I still couldn't.

Guys and girls dobt struggle alone its a killer.

Thing is I want to be able to talk withiut people truly understanding. Without the military un conscious bias "
How can they when they never experienced combat? They can't fathom the understanding. They will just offer pity.

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