FabSwingers.com forum: Weight

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Why is it socially acceptable to have someone who struggles with low weight to hear you need to eat a cheeseburger. Yet if I say the opposite I am cursed. I eat over 3000 calories a day to maintain.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It’s not. It’s unnecessary to comment on someone’s weight either way

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ttentiveRabbitMan
over a year ago

Lymington

"Why is it socially acceptable to have someone who struggles with low weight to hear you need to eat a cheeseburger. Yet if I say the opposite I am cursed. I eat over 3000 calories a day to maintain. "

Because some people are just uneducated dicks

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Tell them to fuck off

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's not acceptable at all Op,tell then to do one

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Tell them to fuck off "
it's just as hurtful. Nobody thinks it is. I hear it all the time I am a little girl childlike because I am small. It's frustrating. But if I say you need to lay off the cake and all breaks loose.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *riel13Woman
over a year ago

Northampton

It isn't... Anyone elses weight is nobodies business but theirs... Mind your business!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You look great op,just try and ignore them,most probably jealous

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *allySlinkyWoman
over a year ago

Leeds

I wouldn't suggest anyone eats a cheeseburger, whatever they weigh

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"It isn't... Anyone elses weight is nobodies business but theirs... Mind your business! "
it's strange.. if I call someone out for making fun of me because they overweight I am the demon. Yet when I was growing up I got told stand sideways stick your tongue out you look like a zipper. It's insane what is socially acceptable now? Do tell I'll work on that perception

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Sorry just needed to rant .

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *inky_couple2020Couple
over a year ago

North West

"Tell them to fuck off "

^^^This. A person's weight is nothing to do with anyone else, no matter whether they are under weight, over weight or the "accepted" weight for their height.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Tell them to fuck off

^^^This. A person's weight is nothing to do with anyone else, no matter whether they are under weight, over weight or the "accepted" weight for their height. "
it's just strange people have a need to comment. No matter how hurtful it is. I am not a princess by any means .

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Tell them to fuck off

^^^This. A person's weight is nothing to do with anyone else, no matter whether they are under weight, over weight or the "accepted" weight for their height. it's just strange people have a need to comment. No matter how hurtful it is. I am not a princess by any means . "
honestly I want to get violent but that is not acceptable option either. So what is ?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *adCherriesCouple
over a year ago

Cheshire/Northwest

Honestly I take it as a compliment, what's the point in getting angry, I feel it's jealousy- most people wish they could eat 3000 cals and not put an ounce on.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *inky_couple2020Couple
over a year ago

North West

"Tell them to fuck off

^^^This. A person's weight is nothing to do with anyone else, no matter whether they are under weight, over weight or the "accepted" weight for their height. it's just strange people have a need to comment. No matter how hurtful it is. I am not a princess by any means . honestly I want to get violent but that is not acceptable option either. So what is ? "

Depending on who said it, as to what is an appropriate reaction. E.g. family member, or a friend, a work colleague etc.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Tell them to fuck off

^^^This. A person's weight is nothing to do with anyone else, no matter whether they are under weight, over weight or the "accepted" weight for their height. it's just strange people have a need to comment. No matter how hurtful it is. I am not a princess by any means . honestly I want to get violent but that is not acceptable option either. So what is ?

Depending on who said it, as to what is an appropriate reaction. E.g. family member, or a friend, a work colleague etc. "
I work as a pharmacist.. it's a constant. Strangers commenting sometimes I just want to dive thru the drive thru and give them a tight hug around their neck.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *inky_couple2020Couple
over a year ago

North West

"Tell them to fuck off

^^^This. A person's weight is nothing to do with anyone else, no matter whether they are under weight, over weight or the "accepted" weight for their height. it's just strange people have a need to comment. No matter how hurtful it is. I am not a princess by any means . honestly I want to get violent but that is not acceptable option either. So what is ?

Depending on who said it, as to what is an appropriate reaction. E.g. family member, or a friend, a work colleague etc. I work as a pharmacist.. it's a constant. Strangers commenting sometimes I just want to dive thru the drive thru and give them a tight hug around their neck."

Ah. If it's that, then you might have to bite your tongue or at least choose your words very carefully!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *rFoxAndXenoCouple
over a year ago

Weymouth

"It isn't... Anyone elses weight is nobodies business but theirs... Mind your business! it's strange.. if I call someone out for making fun of me because they overweight I am the demon. Yet when I was growing up I got told stand sideways stick your tongue out you look like a zipper. It's insane what is socially acceptable now? Do tell I'll work on that perception

Omg that's a horrendous thing to say....just when I think I've heard all the jibes!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *adCherriesCouple
over a year ago

Cheshire/Northwest

Looking Pennsylvania,it has a high obesity rate, so probably don't understand what normal/slim looks like anymore, not that it makes it acceptable but people are rude and seem to be worse since the pandemic

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Looking Pennsylvania,it has a high obesity rate, so probably don't understand what normal/slim looks like anymore, not that it makes it acceptable but people are rude and seem to be worse since the pandemic "

I think people are more polite in general and I do believe I can prove it

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *riel13Woman
over a year ago

Northampton

Rudeness is rudeness whoever it comes from or what is said... But it often comes from their own insecurities... Especially when it comes to bigger people being shitty to slimmer ones but not those exclusively... It's a little sad really so, just try and not let it worry you too much.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *rixie_BlondeWoman
over a year ago

London (She/Her)

As someone who is overweight, I can tell you it is largely socially acceptable to criticise people for being too big. It can be under the guise of “wanting to help our health” but it’s just the same old fat phobia.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"As someone who is overweight, I can tell you it is largely socially acceptable to criticise people for being too big. It can be under the guise of “wanting to help our health” but it’s just the same old fat phobia. "

It's so wrong the only thing that matters is your happy

For my twopeneth wow. X

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *erces LetiferMan
over a year ago

Somewhere off the edge of the map... 'ere there be monsters

Is it really a "guise," though?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *riel13Woman
over a year ago

Northampton

Tbh, the extremes of weight have both, always been taken the piss lut of, as far as I remember.. Still, no bloody need for it

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ampWithABrainWoman
over a year ago

Glasgow

It’s not acceptable to me.

I was very very slim until I had my daughter so even though I’m other end now I well remember sooooo many people telling me I needed to eat more (I ate more than mr then sporty fiancé!) accusing me of being anorexic etc

My daughter is same as me and I suspect won’t fill out until/unless she has a baby. She gets similar offensive comments.

I’ve relatives who are and always were v slim on one side of family and can eat my fat arse under the table! Just have v high metabolism.

Skinny shaming to me is as bad as fat shaming neither are acceptable and should be made socially taboo.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *rixie_BlondeWoman
over a year ago

London (She/Her)

"It’s not acceptable to me.

My daughter is same as me and I suspect won’t fill out until/unless she has a baby. She gets similar offensive comments.

I’ve relatives who are and always were v slim on one side of family and can eat my fat arse under the table! Just have v high metabolism.

Skinny shaming to me is as bad as fat shaming neither are acceptable and should be made socially taboo.

Yeah, someone else’s body is none of our business. Who do people think they are to comment on someone else’s body or to offer “advice” to “improve” it?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *rixie_BlondeWoman
over a year ago

London (She/Her)

Is it really a "guise," though?"

Yes. If you’re interested in this I suggest looking into HAES as the most effective way to actually increase and support good health.

Unless we’re invited to share our opinions, someone else’s body is non of our business.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *rFoxAndXenoCouple
over a year ago

Weymouth

Is it really a "guise," though?

Yes. If you’re interested in this I suggest looking into HAES as the most effective way to actually increase and support good health.

Unless we’re invited to share our opinions, someone else’s body is non of our business. "

My favourite thing is slim people looking down on me, when I rush around all day at work yet they sit in an office....that's definitely not healthy! - Xeno

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You had me at cheeseburger!

I love burgers, but they have to be a good one, and Mdonalds( and other leading fast food joints) have given them a bad reputation.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"You had me at cheeseburger!

I love burgers, but they have to be a good one, and Mdonalds( and other leading fast food joints) have given them a bad reputation. "

Heyyy! Sometimes we just want a cheap simple Big Mac, don't knock it.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"You had me at cheeseburger!

I love burgers, but they have to be a good one, and Mdonalds( and other leading fast food joints) have given them a bad reputation.

Heyyy! Sometimes we just want a cheap simple Big Mac, don't knock it. "

I didn’t. I eat McDonald’s, for that reason, it’s simple and quick.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Now you’ve got my fat arse craving a McDonald’s

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"You had me at cheeseburger!

I love burgers, but they have to be a good one, and Mdonalds( and other leading fast food joints) have given them a bad reputation.

Heyyy! Sometimes we just want a cheap simple Big Mac, don't knock it.

I didn’t. I eat McDonald’s, for that reason, it’s simple and quick.

And lush!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *razytimesinloveCouple
over a year ago

SW Scotland

I don’t think it’s acceptable to say someone needs to eat more/less. I do think it’s ok to show an interest and see if their eating/lack of isn’t covering up another issue.

Some people don’t realize they have an unhealthy relationship with food and it’s always good to let someone know you have time to talk with them

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"You had me at cheeseburger!

I love burgers, but they have to be a good one, and Mdonalds( and other leading fast food joints) have given them a bad reputation.

Heyyy! Sometimes we just want a cheap simple Big Mac, don't knock it.

I didn’t. I eat McDonald’s, for that reason, it’s simple and quick.

And lush!"

*shivers at that word. And the reason I can’t watch Tom Kerridge.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"You had me at cheeseburger!

I love burgers, but they have to be a good one, and Mdonalds( and other leading fast food joints) have given them a bad reputation.

Heyyy! Sometimes we just want a cheap simple Big Mac, don't knock it.

I didn’t. I eat McDonald’s, for that reason, it’s simple and quick.

And lush!

*shivers at that word. And the reason I can’t watch Tom Kerridge.

I don't ever say it! It's just weird, I like typing it though.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ampWithABrainWoman
over a year ago

Glasgow

"Why is it socially acceptable to have someone who struggles with low weight to hear you need to eat a cheeseburger. Yet if I say the opposite I am cursed. I eat over 3000 calories a day to maintain.

I don’t think it’s acceptable to say someone needs to eat more/less. I do think it’s ok to show an interest and see if their eating/lack of isn’t covering up another issue.

Some people don’t realize they have an unhealthy relationship with food and it’s always good to let someone know you have time to talk with them"

Unless you’re a Mh or other healthcare professional or perhaps personal trainer or similar and they’ve asked for your interest then no, still none of your business.

Weight, dietary intake etc is far more complicated than “calories in calories out” it’s arrogant to assume the person doesn’t know they have “issues”, and even if they do, that they want or need your advice, or that you’re qualified to give it. You could do a lot more harm than good!

People who’ve never been v slim or overweight themselves won’t have a lived understanding of how that feels or in many cases in my opinion how hard it is to change habits, tastes, ability to shop differently etc

Even many hcps don’t get it and think that simply bullying, berating and degrading people will make them change - an approach which a lot of research has proven actually has the opposite effect.

It’s almost the last healthcare prejudice that is acceptable to have and display publicly.

People who lead lifestyles and have habits other than over/under eating that are detrimental to their health are not treated with the same disdain or lack of sympathy/empathy.

We need better understanding of the influences on our eating habits, food environment etc not least of which at the moment is the cost of living crisis.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *erces LetiferMan
over a year ago

Somewhere off the edge of the map... 'ere there be monsters

"Yes. If you’re interested in this I suggest looking into HAES as the most effective way to actually increase and support good health."

Hmm, I disagree with that sentiment, though. You can do someone a disservice in terms of their long-term health by protecting their feelings in the short-term. Killing people with kindness, the Devouring Mother, etc.

"Unless we’re invited to share our opinions, someone else’s body is non of our business."

Of course. One an individual, day-to-day basis I'd agree. But before you were talking about at a societal level. Which is very different, and I don't see any "guise" happening at a societal level.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *rixie_BlondeWoman
over a year ago

London (She/Her)

[Removed by poster at 29/01/23 19:33:23]

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I disagree that it is ok, whatever your weight. You look beautiful in your pictures, that is all that needs to be said xx

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

Post new Message to Thread