FabSwingers.com forum: What do you think should be banned from pubs

By *usman 199 OP Man
over a year ago

Stockport

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By *elvet RopeMan
over a year ago

by the big field

Children and mobile phones

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ice. I don't need that in my cocktail pitcher.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Kids

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Soft drinks wtf your in a pub

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Nothing, just go to another pub if something offends you

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By *ools and the brainCouple
over a year ago

couple, us we him her.

Kid's definitely,in particular parents with kid's who think it's ok to let said kid's run riot around the place and do whatever the fuck they like.

It's literally the one place for grown ups to be able to go to chill out and talk to other adults.

Can we not please have this one space for us,at the very least go back to the old days when children are only allowed until 6pm and never in the saloon bar.

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By *hosewhomgonakedCouple
over a year ago

Scotland

TVs, especially for football.

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By *lephantisMan
over a year ago

Oxford

Hot drinks. They take too long for too little reward, creating massive queues as bar staff faff about frothing milk and shaking chocolate sprinkles.

For heaven's sake, people. There are eleventy billion coffee places in every town already...surely you can manage without caffeine for a couple of hours?

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By *ools and the brainCouple
over a year ago

couple, us we him her.

"TVs, especially for football. "

Bit harsh TVs like a drink as well

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

People who drink at the bar

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By *ools and the brainCouple
over a year ago

couple, us we him her.

"People who drink at the bar "

If they are blocking others from being served then yes,but I miss seeing a bloke drinking out of his own tankard sitting at the end of the bar reading a newspaper.

And the lads chatting and laughing,all adds atmosphere.

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By *ex HolesMan
over a year ago

Up North

Fakes

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By *inx.x3Woman
over a year ago

Bath

Rough uns

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By *ttentiveRabbitMan
over a year ago

Lymington

"TVs, especially for football.

Bit harsh TVs like a drink as well

Best me to it lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"People who drink at the bar "

Are the best sort of people.

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By *KG12Couple
over a year ago

Burnley

Jogging bottoms. Whatever happened to people making an effort, when they go out

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

Sugar free drinks

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By *jorkishMan
over a year ago

Seaforth

Snobs, fashion police, people who look down their noses at others

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Kids, Card only payment, Scampi crisps.

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By *ools and the brainCouple
over a year ago

couple, us we him her.

"Sugar free drinks "

Lol that's quite random

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By *jorkishMan
over a year ago

Seaforth

Oh and d*unks

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By *ools and the brainCouple
over a year ago

couple, us we him her.

"Kids, Card only payment, Scampi crisps.

Oh crikey, pretentious flavours of crisps.

Options should be.

Ready salted,cheese and onion,salt and vinegar and maybe at a push beef.

That's it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The tills

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By *om and JennieCouple
over a year ago

Chams or Socials

"Sugar free drinks "

What about diabetics??

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By *ittleRed18Woman
over a year ago

Aberdeen

"Sharking"

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By *aizyWoman
over a year ago

west midlands

"Kids, Card only payment, Scampi crisps.

Oh crikey, pretentious flavours of crisps.

Options should be.

Ready salted,cheese and onion,salt and vinegar and maybe at a push beef.

That's it "

Hey I like pretentious crisps when I'm in the pub!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Music so loud you can't hear a conversation you're trying to have

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By *oeBeansMan
over a year ago

Derby

Alcohol

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By *agneto.Man
over a year ago

Bham

Sniff heads.

Can't write the other word.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

They seem to be rather shouty nowadays, or is that my age ?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Barmaids wearing tops

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By *ttentiveRabbitMan
over a year ago

Lymington

Those ‘humoured’ sayings or artwork.

That horrid carpet and decor

I want decent log fires, leather sofas and a kinda central park coffee shop vibe

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By *inx.x3Woman
over a year ago

Bath

"Kids, Card only payment, Scampi crisps.

Oh crikey, pretentious flavours of crisps.

Options should be.

Ready salted,cheese and onion,salt and vinegar and maybe at a push beef.

That's it

Hey I like pretentious crisps when I'm in the pub!

So do I! If it was only the flavours above I wouldn’t bother buying

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By *oeBeansMan
over a year ago

Derby

"Those ‘humoured’ sayings or artwork.

That horrid carpet and decor

I want decent log fires, leather sofas and a kinda central park coffee shop vibe "

But didn't you know that a balanced diet is a pint in each hand?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Knobheads

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By *batMan
over a year ago

Alicante, Spain. (Sometimes in Wales)

"Nothing, just go to another pub if something offends you"

This! Got it in one!

Gbat

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By *uriouscouple83Couple
over a year ago

Worcester

Smoking

Oh wait

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Twats

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"Sugar free drinks

Lol that's quite random

. I really dislike the taste they leave

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"Sugar free drinks

What about diabetics??

I don't think my suggestion has reached the stage of being written into law yet

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By *batMan
over a year ago

Alicante, Spain. (Sometimes in Wales)

"Smoking

Oh wait

In some places they now all smoke right outside the entrance even though there's a smoking area out the back. That means everyone else has to walk through the stink, the dirty bastards!

Gbat

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By *ttentiveRabbitMan
over a year ago

Lymington

"Those ‘humoured’ sayings or artwork.

That horrid carpet and decor

I want decent log fires, leather sofas and a kinda central park coffee shop vibe

But didn't you know that a balanced diet is a pint in each hand?"

The very type of jokes lol

Or the 1 tequila, 2 tequila, 3 tequila, floor

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By *ad NannaWoman
over a year ago

East London

Sticky carpets and piss on toilet seats.

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By *illy JensonMan
over a year ago

Bispham Blackpool

Try a Samuel Smiths pub. Phones, swearing etc banned (apart from their pubs in the south, that is, for some reason)

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By *ictoria_1976TV/TS
over a year ago

Newquay

Lager - frikkin horrible Euro Fizz

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By *atricia ParnelWoman
over a year ago

In a town full of colours

"Hot drinks. They take too long for too little reward, creating massive queues as bar staff faff about frothing milk and shaking chocolate sprinkles.

For heaven's sake, people. There are eleventy billion coffee places in every town already...surely you can manage without caffeine for a couple of hours?"

Noooooo. I quite like a cuppa whilst being out and about

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By *atricia ParnelWoman
over a year ago

In a town full of colours

Definitely kids

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By *lephantisMan
over a year ago

Oxford

Noooooo. I quite like a cuppa whilst being out and about

So do I. Just not in pubs. The barstaff can pull a dozen pints in the time it takes to make a flat white.

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By *rumpyMcFuckNuggetMan
over a year ago

Den of Iniquity

Everyone Else

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By *otsossieMan
over a year ago

Chesterfield

Alcohol and twats

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By *UGGYBEAR2015Man
over a year ago

BRIDPORT

There are three things that should be banned from pubs,

Kids

Kids and

Kids.

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By *otsossieMan
over a year ago

Chesterfield

"Sugar free drinks

Lol that's quite random

. I really dislike the taste they leave

Yep. And in general the selection of non-alcoholic drinks is shite. What about the driver?

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By *atricia ParnelWoman
over a year ago

In a town full of colours

Noooooo. I quite like a cuppa whilst being out and about

So do I. Just not in pubs. The barstaff can pull a dozen pints in the time it takes to make a flat white. "

Ahh that is where I differ as I only ever order tea which is always delivered quite promptly

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By *oeBeansMan
over a year ago

Derby

"Sugar free drinks

Lol that's quite random

. I really dislike the taste they leave

Yep. And in general the selection of non-alcoholic drinks is shite. What about the driver?"

Preach! Lemonade or various types of is awful and the alcohol free lager is grim. I was so giddy when the waitress said they had a 0% cider that was actually quite nice

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"Sugar free drinks

Lol that's quite random

. I really dislike the taste they leave

Yep. And in general the selection of non-alcoholic drinks is shite. What about the driver?"

I always feel really fed up trying to choose a soft drink because I know I'm going to dislike it. I don't like cola or lemonade, there's only so much fruit juice a person can drink and most other soft drinks have sugar substitutes in them.

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By *aizyWoman
over a year ago

west midlands

"Kids, Card only payment, Scampi crisps.

Oh crikey, pretentious flavours of crisps.

Options should be.

Ready salted,cheese and onion,salt and vinegar and maybe at a push beef.

That's it

Hey I like pretentious crisps when I'm in the pub!

So do I! If it was only the flavours above I wouldn’t bother buying

Exactly, I had some lovely pretentious crisps in a pub in Whitby, can't for the life of remember what they were called but seriously thinking of going back up to Whitby just to find out, they were so nice!

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By *evonshireboyMan
over a year ago

North Devon

"Sugar free drinks

What about diabetics??

I don't think they should be banned.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Football.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Soft drinks wtf your in a pub

But what's the designated driver going to drink?

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By *inx.x3Woman
over a year ago

Bath

"Kids, Card only payment, Scampi crisps.

Oh crikey, pretentious flavours of crisps.

Options should be.

Ready salted,cheese and onion,salt and vinegar and maybe at a push beef.

That's it

Hey I like pretentious crisps when I'm in the pub!

So do I! If it was only the flavours above I wouldn’t bother buying

Pipers is one of my favs.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Idiots

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By *etcplCouple
over a year ago

Gapping Fanny

Alcohol should be banned full stop!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Alcohol should be banned full stop!

"
nope otherwise might as well go to church . Wait a minute change my water into wine please

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Sugar free drinks

What about diabetics??

I don't think they should be banned. "

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By *inky_couple2020Couple
over a year ago

North West

Pickled eggs

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By *ixiePoisonWoman
over a year ago

Darlington

Kids, and people with pushchairs, fall over them on a lunchtime

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By *hosewhomgonakedCouple
over a year ago

Scotland

Haha of course, televisions

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By *andyfloss2000Woman
over a year ago

ashford

Just alcohol! X

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By *ean counterMan
over a year ago

Kettering

Smokers smoking in the doorway so non-smokers have to walk through that stink to get in to a non-smoking building !!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

As a pub regular and someone who works behind the bar...

1. Kids after 6.00pm

2. People who have no idea what to order because they don't regularly come in and so hold everyone else up.

3. People in 2 above who ask for tasters to see what they'll like.

4. People who come in after 9.00pm and ask for coffee, or a pot of tea when it's packed in the bar and you're only one working.

5. People who order tap water.

6. People who order tap water then want ice and slice of lemon.

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By *entlemanrogueMan
over a year ago

Motherwell

"TVs, especially for football. "

most pubs would shut down within a fornight

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"TVs, especially for football.

most pubs would shut down within a fornight"

My local doesn't have football on.

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By *teveanddebsCouple
over a year ago

Norwich

"Hot drinks. They take too long for too little reward, "

You're joking, there is farore profit in a Latte than a beer.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Jumping on the band waggon and adding kids to the list

Mrs C

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Kid's definitely,in particular parents with kid's who think it's ok to let said kid's run riot around the place and do whatever the fuck they like.

It's literally the one place for grown ups to be able to go to chill out and talk to other adults.

Can we not please have this one space for us,at the very least go back to the old days when children are only allowed until 6pm and never in the saloon bar."

This!!!

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By *arcus88Man
over a year ago

East London

[Removed by poster at 29/01/23 10:32:51]

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By *arcus88Man
over a year ago

East London

Clothes

Also ban under 18s

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By *uby StarCouple
over a year ago

Durham

"TVs, especially for football. "

This. We went to an event in a pub but when we got there the football was on, not just on one tv but loads of them. Totally ruined the atmosphere.

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By *ink Panther 123Man
over a year ago

Colnbrook

Coffee

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By *uby StarCouple
over a year ago

Durham

"As a pub regular and someone who works behind the bar...

1. Kids after 6.00pm

2. People who have no idea what to order because they don't regularly come in and so hold everyone else up.

3. People in 2 above who ask for tasters to see what they'll like.

4. People who come in after 9.00pm and ask for coffee, or a pot of tea when it's packed in the bar and you're only one working.

5. People who order tap water.

6. People who order tap water then want ice and slice of lemon.

I don't see anything wrong at all in asking for tap water. Designated drivers have to drink something non alcoholic.

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By *amantha_JadeWoman
over a year ago

Newcastle

Kids

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Kids and televisions

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By *alamity clungeWoman
over a year ago

Clungetown

Bad dancers.

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By *elvet RopeMan
over a year ago

by the big field

"TVs, especially for football.

most pubs would shut down within a fornight"

Most of the pubs i go in don't have football or any screen based entertainment on- i prefer a more classy establishment

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"As a pub regular and someone who works behind the bar...

1. Kids after 6.00pm

2. People who have no idea what to order because they don't regularly come in and so hold everyone else up.

3. People in 2 above who ask for tasters to see what they'll like.

4. People who come in after 9.00pm and ask for coffee, or a pot of tea when it's packed in the bar and you're only one working.

5. People who order tap water.

6. People who order tap water then want ice and slice of lemon.

I don't see anything wrong at all in asking for tap water. Designated drivers have to drink something non alcoholic. "

Then the designated driver orders a , or fruit juice, something they pay for and no go for the free option. A pub is a business, it needs money to survive.

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By *wisted999Man
over a year ago

North Bucks

Has anyone mentioned kids yet

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Has anyone mentioned kids yet

Yes & quite high on the agenda

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By *entBarryUKMan
over a year ago

Ashford

Chavs

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By *avexxMan
over a year ago

cheshire

kids and mobile phones i see couples on phones not even looking at each or talking,, maybe im old fashioned

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By *ig_eric_tionMan
over a year ago

IPSWICH

So called publicans who take a pub and treat it as a hobby. Then when it goes wrong they blame people for not supporting their "business "

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By *irginLad32Man
over a year ago

Catford

Kids and anyone who walks in and stinks the place out of .

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By *istyPeaksCouple
over a year ago

braintree

Jäger

Because I drink it & then do silly things

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By *espacito56Man
over a year ago

Orkney

Other people.

I love a quiet pint.

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By *lephantisMan
over a year ago

Oxford

"Hot drinks. They take too long for too little reward,

You're joking, there is farore profit in a Latte than a beer."

I meant for the consumer.

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By *oom Bang a BangMan
over a year ago

Watford

Those little signs on tables saying reserved in four hours time, actually I wouldn't miss them if they were banned altogether

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By *lumPuddingCouple
over a year ago

Doncaster

Fuck all, it’s where people go to relax.

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By *UGGYBEAR2015Man
over a year ago

BRIDPORT

"Fuck all, it’s where people go to relax."

That’s precisely why kids should be barred

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

King's Crustacean

"As a pub regular and someone who works behind the bar...

1. Kids after 6.00pm

2. People who have no idea what to order because they don't regularly come in and so hold everyone else up.

3. People in 2 above who ask for tasters to see what they'll like.

4. People who come in after 9.00pm and ask for coffee, or a pot of tea when it's packed in the bar and you're only one working.

5. People who order tap water.

6. People who order tap water then want ice and slice of lemon.

1. Agree but maybe 6.30 - pubs are not just booze now but family places for lunch etc.

2. Bar staff serve another customer and go back to person making their mind up. They are a paying customer and not the twat in the situation. OR get more bar staff. Better still - booze machines and no bar staff OR an ordering app - no one at the bar. Just get the 18th century pub brains in gear.

3. Same as above.

4. Same as above - get more staff. Get coffee machines. No one asked the pub to make it slowly. Customers are not responsible for the number of staff on duty.

5. Disagree - less problem to turn a tap than to pull a beer.

6. Disagree - no more difficult adding ice and lemon into water than it is into a sophisticated cocktail.

Pubs are for customers. Strange as it might seem.

DOGS.... I do not like dogs or cats in pubs

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By *irginLad32Man
over a year ago

Catford

For some reason you can't say w e e d. But chavs who stink of it and stink the place out, should be banned.

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

King's Crustacean

"Fuck all, it’s where people go to relax."

I can't relax with rowdy kids, loud music and foul mouthed yobs in ....

Quiet kids yes. Well behaved , sitting with their parents.

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

King's Crustacean

"For some reason you can't say w e e d. But chavs who stink of it and stink the place out, should be banned. "

Is it the Chav or what they smoke that offends....

Must smell the same regardless of social status.

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

King's Crustacean

"Has anyone mentioned kids yet

I don't think so. Just in case.....

Kids ..... no kids in pubs. Thank you.

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By *irginLad32Man
over a year ago

Catford

"For some reason you can't say w e e d. But chavs who stink of it and stink the place out, should be banned.

Is it the Chav or what they smoke that offends....

Must smell the same regardless of social status."

The drugs cause them to act the way they do so ban both.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Smoking

Oh wait

In some places they now all smoke right outside the entrance even though there's a smoking area out the back. That means everyone else has to walk through the stink, the dirty bastards!

Gbat "

Excellent quote!!

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By *oo..Woman
over a year ago

Boo's World

GrumpyMcFuckNugget

His always hitting the deck in them....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Carling.

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By *den-Valley-coupleCouple
over a year ago

Cumbria

GreenKing and Witherspoon

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

King's Crustacean

"GreenKing and Witherspoon"

Noooooooooooooooooooooooo I live in my local Spoons! ( nice area though )

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

King's Crustacean

Or did you mean Reece

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By *rumpyMcFuckNuggetMan
over a year ago

Den of Iniquity

"GrumpyMcFuckNugget

His always hitting the deck in them...."

Oi !! Cheeky Mare

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

King's Crustacean

Horses

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 29/01/23 13:53:00]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Horses"

Shakespeare sits in the corner of the pub, looking miserable. His horse is tied up outside.

"Why the long face?" the barman says.

"My horse is bard." he replies.

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

King's Crustacean

"[Removed by poster at 29/01/23 13:53:00]"

Too late I read it ! Did you need to capitalise the B ?

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

King's Crustacean

Apparently not

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"[Removed by poster at 29/01/23 13:53:00]

Too late I read it ! Did you need to capitalise the B ?"

You obviously didn't spot the mistake then!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ridiculously loud music so you can't hear yourselves think let alone talk.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"TVs, especially for football. "

Football and women is the only reason I turn up

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

King's Crustacean

"[Removed by poster at 29/01/23 13:53:00]

Too late I read it ! Did you need to capitalise the B ?

You obviously didn't spot the mistake then!"

I wasn't worried that you'd written Shakes Peer

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By *lovetoowatchMan
over a year ago

Sheffield

As a bartender for almost 20 years.

1. Lipstick

2. Chewing gum

3. Farting

4. Football day cunts

5. Carling

6. Ordering Guinness last

7. Whistling/snapping your fingers to get bar staff attention

8. "You should smile more"

9. Racists

10. Sexists

11. Bank holiday wankers

12. Vaping

13. "I know your boss"

14. Cash or card only places

And no your not a regular somewhere because you used to drink somewhere 20 years ago. I didn't see you in last 7 years and you don't know that previous landlord does not run this pub for 15 year.

I can cut you of without giving you a reason.

Your local at ass end of town will have different prices then pub in city centre.

We don't care that 1972 you used to pay 23p for a pint.

Its not ok to slap girl half your age ass.

No ice does not dilute your drink - if its right amount- and it doesn't make your drink weaker.

Blocking bar or walkway makes you a wanker

And that's just bits after last two days

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By *elix SightedMan
over a year ago

Cloud 8

All the doors

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By *ittleRed18Woman
over a year ago

Aberdeen

"As a bartender for almost 20 years.

1. Lipstick

2. Chewing gum

3. Farting

4. Football day cunts

5. Carling

6. Ordering Guinness last

7. Whistling/snapping your fingers to get bar staff attention

8. "You should smile more"

9. Racists

10. Sexists

11. Bank holiday wankers

12. Vaping

13. "I know your boss"

14. Cash or card only places

And no your not a regular somewhere because you used to drink somewhere 20 years ago. I didn't see you in last 7 years and you don't know that previous landlord does not run this pub for 15 year.

I can cut you of without giving you a reason.

Your local at ass end of town will have different prices then pub in city centre.

We don't care that 1972 you used to pay 23p for a pint.

Its not ok to slap girl half your age ass.

No ice does not dilute your drink - if its right amount- and it doesn't make your drink weaker.

Blocking bar or walkway makes you a wanker

And that's just bits after last two days

I can empathise with all of these points!

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By *hezGeekCouple
over a year ago

Bristol

1) Kids.

2) Pricks who think it's cool to play music or watch videos on their phones at full volume without headphones.

3) Vaping.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Children and mobile phones

I concur!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"As a bartender for almost 20 years.

1. Lipstick

2. Chewing gum

3. Farting

4. Football day cunts

5. Carling

6. Ordering Guinness last

7. Whistling/snapping your fingers to get bar staff attention

8. "You should smile more"

9. Racists

10. Sexists

11. Bank holiday wankers

12. Vaping

13. "I know your boss"

14. Cash or card only places

And no your not a regular somewhere because you used to drink somewhere 20 years ago. I didn't see you in last 7 years and you don't know that previous landlord does not run this pub for 15 year.

I can cut you of without giving you a reason.

Your local at ass end of town will have different prices then pub in city centre.

We don't care that 1972 you used to pay 23p for a pint.

Its not ok to slap girl half your age ass.

No ice does not dilute your drink - if its right amount- and it doesn't make your drink weaker.

Blocking bar or walkway makes you a wanker

And that's just bits after last two days

100% agree, we have a guy who comes in ours who trawls out the "I've been drinking in here for 35yrs" line, gets narked when it's pointed out he moved away for 10yrs and only recently moved back but expects to get treated specially.

We also have a small group of arses who all look at thier watches when last orders is called. I got told I was a minute early calling time once, so I pointed out I go by the time on the till not his watch.

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By *ink Panther 123Man
over a year ago

Colnbrook

Justin Bieber on the jukebox

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By *arkandlovelyWoman
over a year ago

South Derbyshire

I once walked into a pub and saw a sign for a meat raffle. Of course, I turned on my heel and hotfooted it straight out of there. You'd have thought they'd at least have had a flat roof to give some indication of what lay inside.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Pork scratchings! - I eat too many packets!

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By *a LunaWoman
over a year ago

South

Shit jukeboxes.

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By *UGGYBEAR2015Man
over a year ago

BRIDPORT

"Shit jukeboxes."

Definitely.

All pub jukeboxes should only be able to play 70’s GlamRock.

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By *a LunaWoman
over a year ago

South

"Shit jukeboxes.

Definitely.

All pub jukeboxes should only be able to play 70’s GlamRock.

Gary Glitter and C’mon C’mon is now haunting me!

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By *onjonjon44Man
over a year ago

sheffield

Cocktails, go to a wine bar for that! It just clogs up the bar when you want to buy 2 beers.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Shit jukeboxes."

What song can I put on for you?

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By *a LunaWoman
over a year ago

South

"Shit jukeboxes.

What song can I put on for you?"

Alexander O’Neal - Criticise

It’s a belter!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Shit jukeboxes.

What song can I put on for you?

Alexander O’Neal - Criticise

It’s a belter!"

I’ve added earth wind and fire September to the queue

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Alcopops

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By *burns7Man
over a year ago

walsall

Dickheads who go out to start trouble

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By *a LunaWoman
over a year ago

South

"Shit jukeboxes.

What song can I put on for you?

Alexander O’Neal - Criticise

It’s a belter!

I’ve added earth wind and fire September to the queue "

Great choice! Who doesn’t love a bit of Earth Wind & Fire

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By *uck-RogersMan
over a year ago

Tarka trail

"Sticky carpets and piss on toilet seats."
What were you doing in the gents.

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By *entleman of GirthMan
over a year ago

Forest Row

Bores!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Bar staff with the personality of a wet dish cloth!

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By *an4funMan
over a year ago

london

"Bar staff with the personality of a wet dish cloth! "

As long as they know who's next to be served I am happy to be served by a dish cloth.

I would ban staff who serve customers in the wrong order

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Men wearing flip flops or any open sandal with big yellow fungal toe nails.

Should go without saying that these also should never be worn with socks. But I once saw a guy wearing flip flops with socks! (unbelievable)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Bar staff with the personality of a wet dish cloth!

As long as they know who's next to be served I am happy to be served by a dish cloth.

I would ban staff who serve customers in the wrong order"

My mate's principles can be embarrassing. He had enough of clique bar staff serving friends and went behind the bar served drinks for himself and us.Paid and went back to us. The silence was awkward but we ignored it and the stupid barman who started mouthing off from a safe distance.

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By *irty-pairCouple
over a year ago

South Essex

Coffee. Bugger off to Costa if you want to waste the bar staff’s time

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By *iltsTSgirlTV/TS
over a year ago

chichester

"Coffee. Bugger off to Costa if you want to waste the bar staff’s time

They get paid

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By *irty-pairCouple
over a year ago

South Essex

"Coffee. Bugger off to Costa if you want to waste the bar staff’s time

They get paid

True. It’s more about those thirsty drinkers who get held up while it’s being made!

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By *iltsTSgirlTV/TS
over a year ago

chichester

"Coffee. Bugger off to Costa if you want to waste the bar staff’s time

They get paid

True. It’s more about those thirsty drinkers who get held up while it’s being made!"

Tbh though do they need to be drinking beer or wine at 10am in morning in a westherspoons

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Coffee. Bugger off to Costa if you want to waste the bar staff’s time

Night cap before meeting behind the bins a M&S

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Fireball.....always get shitfaced on it....I can't help myself

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

King's Crustacean

"As a bartender for almost 20 years.

1. Lipstick

2. Chewing gum

3. Farting

4. Football day cunts

5. Carling

6. Ordering Guinness last

7. Whistling/snapping your fingers to get bar staff attention

8. "You should smile more"

9. Racists

10. Sexists

11. Bank holiday wankers

12. Vaping

13. "I know your boss"

14. Cash or card only places

And no your not a regular somewhere because you used to drink somewhere 20 years ago. I didn't see you in last 7 years and you don't know that previous landlord does not run this pub for 15 year.

I can cut you of without giving you a reason.

Your local at ass end of town will have different prices then pub in city centre.

We don't care that 1972 you used to pay 23p for a pint.

Its not ok to slap girl half your age ass.

No ice does not dilute your drink - if its right amount- and it doesn't make your drink weaker.

Blocking bar or walkway makes you a wanker

And that's just bits after last two days

My we are angry ........ 1. It is not okay to slap someone's arse even if you were born on the same day as them. It's not just wrong for older people. 2. Ice DOES dilute your drink. Simple science.

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By *aitonelMan
over a year ago

Liverpool

"As a bartender for almost 20 years.

1. Lipstick

2. Chewing gum

3. Farting

4. Football day cunts

5. Carling

6. Ordering Guinness last

7. Whistling/snapping your fingers to get bar staff attention

8. "You should smile more"

9. Racists

10. Sexists

11. Bank holiday wankers

12. Vaping

13. "I know your boss"

14. Cash or card only places

And no your not a regular somewhere because you used to drink somewhere 20 years ago. I didn't see you in last 7 years and you don't know that previous landlord does not run this pub for 15 year.

I can cut you of without giving you a reason.

Your local at ass end of town will have different prices then pub in city centre.

We don't care that 1972 you used to pay 23p for a pint.

Its not ok to slap girl half your age ass.

No ice does not dilute your drink - if its right amount- and it doesn't make your drink weaker.

Blocking bar or walkway makes you a wanker

And that's just bits after last two days

Who's the bitterest man in the living room, the bitterest man in the living room?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Children, soap-dodgers & thugs.

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By *rPeachyMan
over a year ago

Bristol

'Leisure wear'

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Kids"

You can say that again!

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By *erry bull1Man
over a year ago

doncaster

Paying for drinks

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Children, soap-dodgers & thugs."

Would you put a new lower age limit on bars?

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By *odgerMooreMan
over a year ago

Carlisle

Vegans, tee-totallers and anyone under 40 or called Giles, Amelia or Tristan … anyone who triggers my Apple Twat Alert a useful app for spotting twats before they talk. This is not an exhaustive list… and will be added to once I have had a few glasses of wine…

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By *ornycougaWoman
over a year ago

Wherever I lay my hat

"Vegans, tee-totallers and anyone under 40 or called Giles, Amelia or Tristan … anyone who triggers my Apple Twat Alert a useful app for spotting twats before they talk. This is not an exhaustive list… and will be added to once I have had a few glasses of wine…

Vegans??! I was just about to ask if you fancied meeting for a drink before taking you home to devour your meat all night. But if you have an aversion to vegans I'd be wasting my time offering!

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By *odgerMooreMan
over a year ago

Carlisle

Vegans??! I was just about to ask if you fancied meeting for a drink before taking you home to devour your meat all night. But if you have an aversion to vegans I'd be wasting my time offering!

Just checked my exceptions list!!! You appear to be on it.. under exemptions… hot as….no questions asked… definitely would!!

. Obviously you will have to woo me with seductive messages…

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By *oo..Woman
over a year ago

Boo's World

Him above

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Children, soap-dodgers & thugs."

soap-dodgers

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By *ervent_fervourMan
over a year ago

Halifax

Pernod.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Soft drinks wtf your in a pub

Really ? So those that don't drink are to stay out of Pubs in your opinion ?... for what it's worth a pint of a mineral drink is more expensive than alcohol and people that don't drink also eat in a pub if it serves food but hey if it was up to you ... there'd be no non drinker's in pubs.. anyway it's each to their own, l don't drink but a lot of my friend's do and they've never told me to stay outta pubs .

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By *odgerMooreMan
over a year ago

Carlisle

"Him above

Right wrong’un!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Know all's , a pub is a place where people go " to forget about life for a while " ..relax..unwind , enjoy themselves and the craic ,the last thing they want is to get into a conversation with a know all ,know all's drain every bit of positivity out of people.

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By *odgerMooreMan
over a year ago

Carlisle

"Know all's , a pub is a place where people go " to forget about life for a while " ..relax..unwind , enjoy themselves and the craic ,the last thing they want is to get into a conversation with a know all ,know all's drain every bit of positivity out of people. "

Its funny you should say that - as I was reading an article the other day…. Youll be fascinated… anyway to cut a long story short… in the middle ages… interestingly the middle ages is actually a period that’s in dispute about when that ended and the renaissance……..

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By *atnip make me purrWoman
over a year ago

Reading

Beer

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By *imon_hydeMan
over a year ago

Stockport

Televisions, or more specifically Boxing on TV. Relatively normal people turn into lager/rage fuelled cunts. It's almost as bad as karaoke.

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By *exy time loverMan
over a year ago

travel around UK

Under 18s and gambling machines

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Jogging bottoms. Whatever happened to people making an effort, when they go out "

Add to that the baseball cap brigade, is there really any need for those tacky bits of cloth, even more irritating when they wear them back to front.....wtf.....indeed, whatever happened to people making an effort when they go out?

Also, the 'eat n go' brigade, they come in, sit down, stuff their grub in silence, no chat between them, the majority of them don't even take their coats off whilst having their meal, then leave, no socialising over a drink between them afterwards, nothing, they're done in half an hour and then go, what's the point in coming out? Do us all a favour, stay at home with a microwave dinner, and don't take up a table in a pub!

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