FabSwingers.com forum: Married or not.....you should read this.

By *ovelybum OP Couple
over a year ago

Tunbridge Wells

“When I got home that night as my wife served dinner, I held her hand and said, I’ve got something to tell you. She sat down and ate quietly. Again I observed the hurt in her eyes.

Suddenly I didn’t know how to open my mouth. But I had to let her know what I was thinking. I want a divorce. I raised the topic calmly. She didn’t seem to be annoyed by my words, instead she asked me softly, why?

I avoided her question. This made her angry. She threw away the chopsticks and shouted at me, you are not a man! That night, we didn’t talk to each other. She was weeping. I knew she wanted to find out what had happened to our marriage. But I could hardly give her a satisfactory answer; she had lost my heart to Jane. I didn’t love her anymore. I just pitied her!

With a deep sense of guilt, I drafted a divorce agreement which stated that she could own our house, our car, and 30% stake of my company. She glanced at it and then tore it into pieces. The woman who had spent ten years of her life with me had become a stranger. I felt sorry for her wasted time, resources and energy but I could not take back what I had said for I loved Jane so dearly. Finally she cried loudly in front of me, which was what I had expected to see. To me her cry was actually a kind of release. The idea of divorce which had obsessed me for several weeks seemed to be firmer and clearer now.

The next day, I came back home very late and found her writing something at the table. I didn’t have supper but went straight to sleep and fell asleep very fast because I was tired after an eventful day with Jane. When I woke up, she was still there at the table writing. I just did not care so I turned over and was asleep again.

In the morning she presented her divorce conditions: she didn’t want anything from me, but needed a month’s notice before the divorce. She requested that in that one month we both struggle to live as normal a life as possible. Her reasons were simple: our son had his exams in a month’s time and she didn’t want to disrupt him with our broken marriage.

This was agreeable to me. But she had something more, she asked me to recall how I had carried her into out bridal room on our wedding day. She requested that every day for the month’s duration I carry her out of our bedroom to the front door ever morning. I thought she was going crazy. Just to make our last days together bearable I accepted her odd request.

I told Jane about my wife’s divorce conditions. . She laughed loudly and thought it was absurd. No matter what tricks she applies, she has to face the divorce, she said scornfully.

My wife and I hadn’t had any body contact since my divorce intention was explicitly expressed. So when I carried her out on the first day, we both appeared clumsy. Our son clapped behind us, daddy is holding mommy in his arms. His words brought me a sense of pain. From the bedroom to the sitting room, then to the door, I walked over ten meters with her in my arms. She closed her eyes and said softly; don’t tell our son about the divorce. I nodded, feeling somewhat upset. I put her down outside the door. She went to wait for the bus to work. I drove alone to the office.

On the second day, both of us acted much more easily. She leaned on my chest. I could smell the fragrance of her blouse. I realized that I hadn’t looked at this woman carefully for a long time. I realized she was not young any more. There were fine wrinkles on her face, her hair was graying! Our marriage had taken its toll on her. For a minute I wondered what I had done to her.

On the fourth day, when I lifted her up, I felt a sense of intimacy returning. This was the woman who had given ten years of her life to me. On the fifth and sixth day, I realized that our sense of intimacy was growing again. I didn’t tell Jane about this. It became easier to carry her as the month slipped by. Perhaps the everyday workout made me stronger.

She was choosing what to wear one morning. She tried on quite a few dresses but could not find a suitable one. Then she sighed, all my dresses have grown bigger. I suddenly realized that she had grown so thin, that was the reason why I could carry her more easily.

Suddenly it hit me… she had buried so much pain and bitterness in her heart. Subconsciously I reached out and touched her head.

Our son came in at the moment and said, Dad, it’s time to carry mom out. To him, seeing his father carrying his mother out had become an essential part of his life. My wife gestured to our son to come closer and hugged him tightly. I turned my face away because I was afraid I might change my mind at this last minute. I then held her in my arms, walking from the bedroom, through the sitting room, to the hallway. Her hand surrounded my neck softly and naturally. I held her body tightly; it was just like our wedding day.

But her much lighter weight made me sad. On the last day, when I held her in my arms I could hardly move a step. Our son had gone to school. I held her tightly and said, I hadn’t noticed that our life lacked intimacy. I drove to office…. jumped out of the car swiftly without locking the door. I was afraid any delay would make me change my mind…I walked upstairs. Jane opened the door and I said to her, Sorry, Jane, I do not want the divorce anymore.

She looked at me, astonished, and then touched my forehead. Do you have a fever? She said. I moved her hand off my head. Sorry, Jane, I said, I won’t divorce. My marriage life was boring probably because she and I didn’t value the details of our lives, not because we didn’t love each other anymore. Now I realize that since I carried her into my home on our wedding day I am supposed to hold her until death do us apart. Jane seemed to suddenly wake up. She gave me a loud slap and then slammed the door and burst into tears. I walked downstairs and drove away. At the floral shop on the way, I ordered a bouquet of flowers for my wife. The salesgirl asked me what to write on the card. I smiled and wrote, I’ll carry you out every morning until death do us apart.

That evening I arrived home, flowers in my hands, a smile on my face, I run up stairs, only to find my wife in the bed - dead. My wife had been fighting CANCER for months and I was so busy with Jane to even notice. She knew that she would die soon and she wanted to save me from the whatever negative reaction from our son, in case we push through with the divorce.— At least, in the eyes of our son—- I’m a loving husband….

The small details of your lives are what really matter in a relationship. It is not the mansion, the car, property, the money in the bank. These create an environment conducive for happiness but cannot give happiness in themselves.

So find time to be your spouse’s friend and do those little things for each other that build intimacy. Do have a real happy marriage!

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By *ilmisseCouple
over a year ago

leicestershire

what a pile of shit

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By *ovelybum OP Couple
over a year ago

Tunbridge Wells

"what a pile of shit"

Thanks!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What a load of schmaltzy crap. This is Hallmark written all over it.

I think I've been sick in my mouth a bit.

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By *ilmisseCouple
over a year ago

leicestershire

"What a load of schmaltzy crap. This is Hallmark written all over it.

I think I've been sick in my mouth a bit. "

i think we need a new emoticon for being sick

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have seen this before and thought it a lovely story. Sometimes I am guessing as I have never married, people marry, kids come along, life moves on, intimacy stops, even the kiss at the door and all of a sudden, people live together as friends and go through the motions at birthdays, Christmas etc then comes retirement and neither have anything in common any more and lead almost separate lives

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My aunt died 8 year ago from cancer and didn't tell a sole about her having it. She was a Oprah singer and allways promised she would sing ave Maria as I walked down the isle, when I asked her she laughed it off said you don't want a old bid like me singing much as I begged she still kept saying that, then 6 weeks before I got married we had the call. She had cancer for 3 years didn't even tell her children. I totally believe the story so hardly a crock of shit being so selfless to deal with it all alone so not to hurt others.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"My aunt died 8 year ago from cancer and didn't tell a sole about her having it. She was a Oprah singer and allways promised she would sing ave Maria as I walked down the isle, when I asked her she laughed it off said you don't want a old bid like me singing much as I begged she still kept saying that, then 6 weeks before I got married we had the call. She had cancer for 3 years didn't even tell her children. I totally believe the story so hardly a crock of shit being so selfless to deal with it all alone so not to hurt others. "

Hugs and kisses for your loss xx

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By *xodussxMan
over a year ago

sheffield

"what a pile of shit"
why?????? This is nice story.

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By *ovelybum OP Couple
over a year ago

Tunbridge Wells

It is truly an amazing story,but also sad at the same time..we need to stay focused on the things that are important!! We have been married for 15 years and frankly don't kow what I would do without my superman, ...don't ever lose sight of the important things in your life, as they may slip away when you least expect it....Love never dies...and a very Happy New Year to You all!!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Every day as dave leaves for work I say, I love you, before we sleep at night I say I love you. You never know if as loved ones go about day to day stuff it will be the last time you ser them.

I tell my kids everyday,.i love you

Cherish loved ones, xxx

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By *pontanious3Man
over a year ago

West Midlands

brilliant story....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

OH here, a lovely parabal, should make us all look deeper into ourselves and not take life and loved ones for granted. I lost my mother to cancer this year, although we all knew, she never made a fuss! Have a safe and peaceful new year all.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The story has a good motive behind it.. How a marriage needs to be worked at and not taken for granted XD

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

This first appeared as one of those send it to x amount of friends emails.

It is a thought provoking piece of writing, but it has done the rounds for years and pops up every now and then and gets sent everywhere.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Every day as dave leaves for work I say, I love you, before we sleep at night I say I love you. You never know if as loved ones go about day to day stuff it will be the last time you ser them.

I tell my kids everyday,.i love you

Cherish loved ones, xxx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have seen this post before as well, I like it.

I think it teaches a valuable lesson, people often overlook what they already have, take people for granted and realise what they have lost when it is too late.

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By *r and mrs sanddancerCouple
over a year ago

BOLDON COLLIERY

yeh it pops up on f/b every 6mths and each time some one else clams it's true just an attention seeking ploy

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

This a swinging site or Jeremy Kyle ffs lol

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

what a shame, he must be gutted.... he will have to join as a single guy now

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It has been round Facebook for ages. It made me sick then and makes me sick now.

And the moral of the story is; stay with a

person you've grown apart from and have had no meaningful contact with for ages because they might die soon?

How is that a good message to sell to people?

In my opinion this story originated in the US from the pen of a Christian determined to stop people sinning and getting divorced. So he's done it in the way that religion has done it for years. Psychologically making anyone who may be in that situation feel like shit. Its called emotional blackmail.

I need a drink to wash the words from my mind.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"It has been round Facebook for ages. It made me sick then and makes me sick now.

And the moral of the story is; stay with a

person you've grown apart from and have had no meaningful contact with for ages because they might die soon?

How is that a good message to sell to people?

I need a drink to wash the words from my mind. "

Make sure you d*unk.plenty..... It might keep you away from your computer.

You have jumped to many conclusions to form an opinion on something. None of which you can say with any degree of knowledge is true

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Thank fu#k I didn't carry my wife over the threshold lol......

So how do I get her to give me oral sex like my fb ?

Bit long winded but I enjoyed reading it so here's a

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My opinions on the origin of this message may well be rubbish.

But that fact is that if someone who may be considering leaving their partner were to be handed this it would be emotional blackmail of the worst sort.

People like the posters above who are deeply in love and tell each other so, have no need to hear this except to reinforce their love.

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By *ctavius StuntMan
over a year ago

london

FFS I WANNA SCREAM !

Thank fuck i scan read it.

What a boring over elongated piece of badly written drivel. Words fail me.....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Thank fu#k I didn't carry my wife over the threshold lol......

So how do I get her to give me oral sex like my fb ?

Bit long winded but I enjoyed reading it so here's a

Why stay with your wife if your fb fills the void?

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By *obbieCMan
over a year ago

Bridgwater

I'm married to my right hand so unless I chop it off i'm stuck for life......lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"My opinions on the origin of this message may well be rubbish.

But that fact is that if someone who may be considering leaving their partner were to be handed this it would be emotional blackmail of the worst sort.

People like the posters above who are deeply in love and tell each other so, have no need to hear this except to reinforce their love. "

I agree here...i loved my ex but i'm sorry my own life is too short and valuable to spend with someone who i'd grown apart from and fallen out of love with..sad she kept it all to herself but her choice!

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By *rightonsteveMan
over a year ago

Brighton - even Hove!

Was the OP's story true?

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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago

Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum

The original one didn't have the woman dying, just them both living happily ever after.

I mean, the moral of above story is basically 'do what you want because everyone is going to die anyway'. He's lost his wife AND his mistress. How depressing.

The other moral is 'don't get married if you think you'll get tired of someone quickly'.

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By *r OreoMan
over a year ago

Croydon

"what a shame, he must be gutted.... he will have to join as a single guy now"

Genius...

Surprised he never noticed all the meds she was on or all the hospital appts...

Typical american 'send this to 2million people and save a hippo' crap.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Thank fu#k I didn't carry my wife over the threshold lol......

So how do I get her to give me oral sex like my fb ?

Bit long winded but I enjoyed reading it so here's a

Why stay with your wife if your fb fills the void?"

Its called having ur cake and eating it!

The selfish outlook of a cheat XD

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You read this in agony aunt colume lol - it ought to have been; some publishers pay good money for this sort of stuff lol

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By *B9 QueenWoman
over a year ago

Over the rainbow, under the bridge

"what a shame, he must be gutted.... he will have to join as a single guy now

Genius...

Surprised he never noticed all the meds she was on or all the hospital appts...

Typical american 'send this to 2million people and save a hippo' crap."

I hate these kinds of things. They are emotionally manipulative. The worst type of cloying sentimentality. If your marriage/partnership is strong enough then you don't need this.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"The story has a good motive behind it.. How a marriage needs to be worked at and not taken for granted XD"

i think you have hit the nail on the head there....this is just a story! i think i saw it serialised in a magazine somewhere once!!

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By *imjohnCouple
over a year ago

Clacton on sea, Essex

Its the sentiment of it even if you don't believe the story, us lucky ones have our best friend/lover right under our noses & sometimes we don't always see it.

Reading this makes you appreciate what you have even more...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Seriously ?

What a pile of sentimental drivel - ffs some people !!!!!

Get a grip and let's see if the mods remove the offensive op as it's clearly nothing more than spam

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I have seen this before and thought it a lovely story. Sometimes I am guessing as I have never married, people marry, kids come along, life moves on, intimacy stops, even the kiss at the door and all of a sudden, people live together as friends and go through the motions at birthdays, Christmas etc then comes retirement and neither have anything in common any more and lead almost separate lives"

I am one of those people. It is a lovely notion and there's nothing wrong with it.

If its possible to achieve then the more conscientious amongst us would admit they'd want that happiness and security.

Some of us try some of us succeed and some fail, but its rarely the fault of one person.

Good luck to all those trying...give it an honest go

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Why don't any of these marriage pick me up stories say it like it really is? For example, instead of sugar coating over the cracks why don't it say "remember how much in love you were with him when you married him and sue he mighthave gained a few pounds but do you really nneed to nag him about it? Also, on the day you met him he was smoking so why have you systematically bitched about it ever since when you had the choice to walk away much earlier".

I'd be more inclined to believe a message like that.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Why don't any of these marriage pick me up stories say it like it really is? For example, instead of sugar coating over the cracks why don't it say "remember how much in love you were with him when you married him and sue he mighthave gained a few pounds but do you really nneed to nag him about it? Also, on the day you met him he was smoking so why have you systematically bitched about it ever since when you had the choice to walk away much earlier".

I'd be more inclined to believe a message like that."

Lol oh dear !

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'd be more inclined to believe a message like that."

That's the working at it part.. Talk about it, if one gets irrate then reacting out of irritation won't get u anywhere.. When calm talk about it. If the other can't then explain they aren't being rational. Just say what's on ur mind but listen to their _iew too.. That's the moral behind the story.

As for the story being offensive that's just laughable - more like it hs touched a nerve :/

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No it didn't touch a nerve at all - it got on my nerves but didn't come close to touching one

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By *abioMan
over a year ago

Newcastle and Gateshead

its one of these "urban myth" stories that has been floating around the internet for at least the last 3 years..........

absolute smoltsch!!

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By *B9 QueenWoman
over a year ago

Over the rainbow, under the bridge

I find it amusing to see marital advice on a swingers site.

But that's just my humour.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I find it amusing to see marital advice on a swingers site.

But that's just my humour.

"
lol i think some only see family at xmas alot stay well away. And work and things take over.So for some its a hard time i bet.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What fkn pish...!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

this thread just reflects how marriage isnt the holy marrimony it once more and is outdated really..

this is why i wander why people do it :/

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By *osweet69Couple
over a year ago

portsmouth

Just take it for what it is,a story.We like it.

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By *phroditeWoman
over a year ago

(She/ her) in Sensualityland

I dont feel the need to criticise the story, the OP or anybody who has liked it.

I actually like its message of having to work at relationships to give them a chance of survival.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"this thread just reflects how marriage isnt the holy marrimony it once more and is outdated really..

this is why i wander why people do it :/"

It's not marriage that is outdated, it's the way that people make vows and then break them when the marriage has become inconvenient. I've had two goes at it and there most definately won't be a third.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"this thread just reflects how marriage isnt the holy marrimony it once more and is outdated really..

this is why i wander why people do it :/

isnt marriage all about the vows tho??

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By *phroditeWoman
over a year ago

(She/ her) in Sensualityland

I did not read the story as necessarily about marriage but about relationships - whether marriage is outdated or not.

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By *B9 QueenWoman
over a year ago

Over the rainbow, under the bridge

"I dont feel the need to criticise the story, the OP or anybody who has liked it.

I actually like its message of having to work at relationships to give them a chance of survival.

But that's not new! It's something society has been talking about for hundreds of years.

It's the overly maudlin sentimentality I object to. Ffs being carried over the threshold, the poor little boy, cancer. I'm surprised there isn't a three-legged puppy in there too.

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By *phroditeWoman
over a year ago

(She/ her) in Sensualityland

"I dont feel the need to criticise the story, the OP or anybody who has liked it.

I actually like its message of having to work at relationships to give them a chance of survival.

But that's not new! It's something society has been talking about for hundreds of years.

It's the overly maudlin sentimentality I object to. Ffs being carried over the threshold, the poor little boy, cancer. I'm surprised there isn't a three-legged puppy in there too."

I know what you mean - I am not one for sentimental stories as a rule and I kind of "subtract" the sentimental bits and just keep the essence.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

i have no family to speak of so see no one over christmas.

and judging by some families im better off

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By *phroditeWoman
over a year ago

(She/ her) in Sensualityland

"i have no family to speak of so see no one over christmas.

and judging by some families im better off

"
Although some mothers do ave them...;-)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have to say I really hate this sort of overbaked made up stuff. It always makes me feel patronised and a little insulted.

I understand that virtually every story ever told has a moral to it (annoyingly) but at least TRY make it an interesting story

Real life is full of inspiration, real people struggle and amaze every feck'n day. Just watch the news if you need a reminder of what you've got.

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By *ouple in LancashireCouple
over a year ago

in Lancashire

"I find it amusing to see marital advice on a swingers site.

But that's just my humour.

and ironic also..

its sicklier than a tepid glass of cream based liquor..

its not even well written..

you dont 'live' with someone going through the vile disease that cancer is without realising its consequenses..

marriage or any relationship is hard work, communication and compromise..

thats not exactly news tbh..

applaud people who take the step away from an unhappy relationship if they have put some work in etc..

anyway its nearly next year..

big up the love you fabby fabsteroonies..

ps, did i miss out an L somewhere..

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By *phroditeWoman
over a year ago

(She/ her) in Sensualityland

applaud people who take the step away from an unhappy relationship if they have put some work in etc..

"
That just about sums it up for me. Happy New Year to you as well

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I find it amusing to see marital advice on a swingers site.

But that's just my humour.

and ironic also..

its sicklier than a tepid glass of cream based liquor..

its not even well written..

you dont 'live' with someone going through the vile disease that cancer is without realising its consequenses..

marriage or any relationship is hard work, communication and compromise..

thats not exactly news tbh..

applaud people who take the step away from an unhappy relationship if they have put some work in etc..

anyway its nearly next year..

big up the love you fabby fabsteroonies..

ps, did i miss out an L somewhere..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

bittersweet

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"i have no family to speak of so see no one over christmas.

and judging by some families im better off

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By *ouple in LancashireCouple
over a year ago

in Lancashire

applaud people who take the step away from an unhappy relationship if they have put some work in etc..

That just about sums it up for me. Happy New Year to you as well

And yourself mon cher'ie..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"It has been round Facebook for ages. It made me sick then and makes me sick now.

And the moral of the story is; stay with a

person you've grown apart from and have had no meaningful contact with for ages because they might die soon?

How is that a good message to sell to people?

I need a drink to wash the words from my mind. "

Perhaps you should re read. You have clearly misunderstood the story, and missed the chain of events.

Go lie down, and breathe deeply..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I find it amusing to see marital advice on a swingers site.

But that's just my humour.

and ironic also..

its sicklier than a tepid glass of cream based liquor..

its not even well written..

you dont 'live' with someone going through the vile disease that cancer is without realising its consequenses..

marriage or any relationship is hard work, communication and compromise..

thats not exactly news tbh..

applaud people who take the step away from an unhappy relationship if they have put some work in etc..

anyway its nearly next year..

big up the love you fabby fabsteroonies..

ps, did i miss out an L somewhere..

ironic? i wasnt under the impression that swinging was meant mas ma tool for cheating?

i thought it was for couples who had such a solid relationship they can do these things.. or single people with no ties :/

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By *ouple in LancashireCouple
over a year ago

in Lancashire

ironic? i wasnt under the impression that swinging was meant mas ma tool for cheating?

i thought it was for couples who had such a solid relationship they can do these things.. or single people with no ties :/"

some clearly do have solid relationships..

as for some of your other points, look outside in this yukky weather we are having and tell me if you see any pink piggies flying past..

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