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Your Sex Epitaph

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By *icketysplits OP   Woman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

As my sex life is in the final throes of death I've been thinking about what to put on its gravestone.

A very early boyfriend described me, some years later on nascent social media, as too much woman for any one man.

Or, I could go with the description from a Fab ex:

Dark, hairy and very scary.

What will your sex headstone say?

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By *ife NinjaMan
over a year ago

Dunfermline

Nice fella, under utilised

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By *ittlebirdWoman
over a year ago

The Big Smoke

I am pretty sure mine will say she liked it, so she did it. Her own way

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By *weetkitten65Woman
over a year ago

Halifax

Like a Vax, wet then dry..

(Bloody menopause )

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

He had a wonky winky

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By *lephantisMan
over a year ago

Oxford

Maybe one I've been told a few times, which is far nicer than I deserve.

'I wish you knew how beautiful you are.'

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod

over a year ago

East Sussex

She came, she snored, she conked out

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By *adger BrocMan
over a year ago

Co. Cork

He came, he saw, he bonked her.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Underperformed

Over exaggerated

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By *icketysplits OP   Woman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound


"Like a Vax, wet then dry..

(Bloody menopause )"

... discovered lube?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'd have it read like a veri. Sucked like a dyson with the best tits ever

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By *icketysplits OP   Woman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound


"She came, she snored, she conked out "

It'll look fancier on the headstone in Latin. Google offers: Venit, stertit, obivit.

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By *rthur WrightusMan
over a year ago

Round the Bend

Was that it ?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Banged more times than a car door and takes it like a pro

Kinky and wild and down to try anything once

Treat her with respect people she’s worth it

Ooo god can tell I went total veri cleacgesh there on that one

Emmm yes people this is a joke

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By *icketysplits OP   Woman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound


"Nice fella, under utilised "

Your nice is not underutilised.

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By *icketysplits OP   Woman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound


"I am pretty sure mine will say she liked it, so she did it. Her own way "

You can play that at the funeral.

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By *istyPeaksCouple
over a year ago

braintree

Oh dear God. Again?

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By *icketysplits OP   Woman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound


"He had a wonky winky "

Written on a slant in differently sized letters?

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By *lymanMan
over a year ago

PLYMOUTH

"Died trying"

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By *ainbow_RoadWoman
over a year ago

Brighton

She Tried Her Best

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Just like in life he shot off to early

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod

over a year ago

East Sussex


"She came, she snored, she conked out

It'll look fancier on the headstone in Latin. Google offers: Venit, stertit, obivit."

Henceforth this shall be on my personal coat of arms

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By *bi HaiveMan
Forum Mod

over a year ago

Cheeseville, Somerset


"

What will your sex headstone say?

"

"She's now meeting solo......"

A

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By *icketysplits OP   Woman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound


"Maybe one I've been told a few times, which is far nicer than I deserve.

'I wish you knew how beautiful you are.'"

There's time to change that one to They found their beauty.

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By *icketysplits OP   Woman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound


"He came, he saw, he bonked her."

Solid epitaph, if possibly disappointing for her.

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By *weetkitten65Woman
over a year ago

Halifax


"Like a Vax, wet then dry..

(Bloody menopause )

... discovered lube?"

Yes...but sometimes it isn't enough

But have some Hrt internal cream..haven't had chance to properly try it yet..

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By *lephantisMan
over a year ago

Oxford


"Maybe one I've been told a few times, which is far nicer than I deserve.

'I wish you knew how beautiful you are.'

There's time to change that one to They found their beauty.

"

Thank you. Perhaps after I'm dead.

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By *weetkitten65Woman
over a year ago

Halifax

[Removed by poster at 22/01/23 22:17:58]

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By *icketysplits OP   Woman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound


"Underperformed

Over exaggerated "

I'm nodding.

Enjoy your time.

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By *icketysplits OP   Woman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound


"I'd have it read like a veri. Sucked like a dyson with the best tits ever "

A very Fab epitaph.

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By *weetkitten65Woman
over a year ago

Halifax


"Just like in life he shot off to early "

Thus made me lol...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"He had a wonky winky

Written on a slant in differently sized letters?

"

Yup.

Some in bold. Others italics sns a single letter double underlined

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By *icketysplits OP   Woman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound


"Was that it ? "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"He had a wonky winky

Written on a slant in differently sized letters?

Yup.

Some in bold. Others italics sns a single letter double underlined "

Or just in wingdings font

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By *icketysplits OP   Woman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound


"Oh dear God. Again?"

Well, that's intriguing...

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By *icketysplits OP   Woman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound


""Died trying" "

A good way to go.

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By *icketysplits OP   Woman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound


"She Tried Her Best"

You can do no more than that.

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By *rettyflamingoWoman
over a year ago

Where the flamboyance of flamingos live

Not for beginners

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By *icketysplits OP   Woman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound


"Just like in life he shot off to early "

The mourners will all offer a 'Sorry for your loss' to your last meet.

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By *icketysplits OP   Woman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound


"

What will your sex headstone say?

"She's now meeting solo......"

A"

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By *he VanderfluffsCouple
over a year ago

Malice

Hope I died fucking!

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By *icketysplits OP   Woman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound


"Not for beginners "

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By *icketysplits OP   Woman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound


"Hope I died fucking! "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

He will not rise again

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Banged more times than a car door and takes it like a pro

Kinky and wild and down to try anything once

Treat her with respect people she’s worth it

Ooo god can tell I went total veri cleacgesh there on that one

Emmm yes people this is a joke "

So obviousl ha ha lol funny

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"He will not rise again "

Not even for the 2nd coming

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By *rseup4uMan
over a year ago

West Cornwall

Born with a cock in his ass, died with a cock in his ass LOL

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By *lephantisMan
over a year ago

Oxford


"Hope I died fucking! "

Hope I fucking died.

Otherwise, it's all a bit too House of Usher.

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By *istyPeaksCouple
over a year ago

braintree


"Maybe one I've been told a few times, which is far nicer than I deserve.

'I wish you knew how beautiful you are.'

There's time to change that one to They found their beauty.

Thank you. Perhaps after I'm dead. "

A skill we all need to learn is to see ourselves through another’s eyes.

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By *icketysplits OP   Woman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound


"Banged more times than a car door and takes it like a pro

Kinky and wild and down to try anything once

Treat her with respect people she’s worth it

Ooo god can tell I went total veri cleacgesh there on that one

Emmm yes people this is a joke

So obviousl ha ha lol funny "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Banged more times than a car door and takes it like a pro

Kinky and wild and down to try anything once

Treat her with respect people she’s worth it

Ooo god can tell I went total veri cleacgesh there on that one

Emmm yes people this is a joke

So obviousl ha ha lol funny "

Nice people they say ha ha so nice and toxic you mean

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By *istyPeaksCouple
over a year ago

braintree


"Oh dear God. Again?

Well, that's intriguing...

"

Or exhausting - lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Not a novice ride.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Banged more times than a car door and takes it like a pro

Kinky and wild and down to try anything once

Treat her with respect people she’s worth it

Ooo god can tell I went total veri cleacgesh there on that one

Emmm yes people this is a joke

So obviousl ha ha lol funny

"

They say there isn’t a cleque lol funny just watches you reply to everybody and clearly skip past me

Yous clame to be nice people they pull such toxic behaviour

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Just like in life he shot off to early

The mourners will all offer a 'Sorry for your loss' to your last meet.

"

Plz just play the song he will not rise again

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By *icketysplits OP   Woman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound


"Banged more times than a car door and takes it like a pro

Kinky and wild and down to try anything once

Treat her with respect people she’s worth it

Ooo god can tell I went total veri cleacgesh there on that one

Emmm yes people this is a joke

So obviousl ha ha lol funny

They say there isn’t a cleque lol funny just watches you reply to everybody and clearly skip past me

Yous clame to be nice people they pull such toxic behaviour

"

I have used emojis with others. I missed yours initially when reading another.

Fuckit, this is the sort of thing that has kept me off Fab and posting. I shall return to real life and leave you all alone now.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Banged more times than a car door and takes it like a pro

Kinky and wild and down to try anything once

Treat her with respect people she’s worth it

Ooo god can tell I went total veri cleacgesh there on that one

Emmm yes people this is a joke

So obviousl ha ha lol funny

They say there isn’t a cleque lol funny just watches you reply to everybody and clearly skip past me

Yous clame to be nice people they pull such toxic behaviour

I have used emojis with others. I missed yours initially when reading another.

Fuckit, this is the sort of thing that has kept me off Fab and posting. I shall return to real life and leave you all alone now.

"

Please don't, I like you being around xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Banged more times than a car door and takes it like a pro

Kinky and wild and down to try anything once

Treat her with respect people she’s worth it

Ooo god can tell I went total veri cleacgesh there on that one

Emmm yes people this is a joke

So obviousl ha ha lol funny

They say there isn’t a cleque lol funny just watches you reply to everybody and clearly skip past me

Yous clame to be nice people they pull such toxic behaviour

I have used emojis with others. I missed yours initially when reading another.

Fuckit, this is the sort of thing that has kept me off Fab and posting. I shall return to real life and leave you all alone now.

"

I try and be nice to everyone and all I get is toxic behaviour from people every single day

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Banged more times than a car door and takes it like a pro

Kinky and wild and down to try anything once

Treat her with respect people she’s worth it

Ooo god can tell I went total veri cleacgesh there on that one

Emmm yes people this is a joke

So obviousl ha ha lol funny

They say there isn’t a cleque lol funny just watches you reply to everybody and clearly skip past me

Yous clame to be nice people they pull such toxic behaviour

I have used emojis with others. I missed yours initially when reading another.

Fuckit, this is the sort of thing that has kept me off Fab and posting. I shall return to real life and leave you all alone now.

I try and be nice to everyone and all I get is toxic behaviour from people every single day "

Natalie, I think you are being a bit over-sensitive.

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By *a LunaWoman
over a year ago

South Wales

When she was in the mood she was a dirty bitch.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Banged more times than a car door and takes it like a pro

Kinky and wild and down to try anything once

Treat her with respect people she’s worth it

Ooo god can tell I went total veri cleacgesh there on that one

Emmm yes people this is a joke

So obviousl ha ha lol funny

They say there isn’t a cleque lol funny just watches you reply to everybody and clearly skip past me

Yous clame to be nice people they pull such toxic behaviour

I have used emojis with others. I missed yours initially when reading another.

Fuckit, this is the sort of thing that has kept me off Fab and posting. I shall return to real life and leave you all alone now.

I try and be nice to everyone and all I get is toxic behaviour from people every single day

Natalie, I think you are being a bit over-sensitive."

I sat and watched someone reply to every comes my post and I got clean skiped over and singled out it’s toxic behaviour and not nice

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Banged more times than a car door and takes it like a pro

Kinky and wild and down to try anything once

Treat her with respect people she’s worth it

Ooo god can tell I went total veri cleacgesh there on that one

Emmm yes people this is a joke

So obviousl ha ha lol funny

They say there isn’t a cleque lol funny just watches you reply to everybody and clearly skip past me

Yous clame to be nice people they pull such toxic behaviour

I have used emojis with others. I missed yours initially when reading another.

Fuckit, this is the sort of thing that has kept me off Fab and posting. I shall return to real life and leave you all alone now.

I try and be nice to everyone and all I get is toxic behaviour from people every single day "

Natalie we all get over looked, it's the nature of things it happrns, if it affects you maybe take a step back from it for a while

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By *liceinwanderlust101Woman
over a year ago

Cambridge/London

A decent set menu - IYKYK

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By *istyPeaksCouple
over a year ago

braintree


"Banged more times than a car door and takes it like a pro

Kinky and wild and down to try anything once

Treat her with respect people she’s worth it

Ooo god can tell I went total veri cleacgesh there on that one

Emmm yes people this is a joke

So obviousl ha ha lol funny

They say there isn’t a cleque lol funny just watches you reply to everybody and clearly skip past me

Yous clame to be nice people they pull such toxic behaviour

I have used emojis with others. I missed yours initially when reading another.

Fuckit, this is the sort of thing that has kept me off Fab and posting. I shall return to real life and leave you all alone now.

I try and be nice to everyone and all I get is toxic behaviour from people every single day

Natalie, I think you are being a bit over-sensitive.

I sat and watched someone reply to every comes my post and I got clean skiped over and singled out it’s toxic behaviour and not nice "

You’re usually far the person giving reasoned advice on stuff like this sweetheart. Are you ok? (Genuinely)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Banged more times than a car door and takes it like a pro

Kinky and wild and down to try anything once

Treat her with respect people she’s worth it

Ooo god can tell I went total veri cleacgesh there on that one

Emmm yes people this is a joke

So obviousl ha ha lol funny

They say there isn’t a cleque lol funny just watches you reply to everybody and clearly skip past me

Yous clame to be nice people they pull such toxic behaviour

I have used emojis with others. I missed yours initially when reading another.

Fuckit, this is the sort of thing that has kept me off Fab and posting. I shall return to real life and leave you all alone now.

I try and be nice to everyone and all I get is toxic behaviour from people every single day "

Fab can make you feel like that at times. I stayed away because I felt exactly like you do, but you know there will always be those who like you and those who don't.

I am sure no ill intent was meant here though, it's easy to over look posters when the thread is busy.

Fwiw I like you and your posts, I cannot be the only outkast xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

He was always stealing my knickers !

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"She came, she snored, she conked out

It'll look fancier on the headstone in Latin. Google offers: Venit, stertit, obivit."

Got to love Latin

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Might look sweet and innocent, but behaved like a dirty little slut"

Mrs

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