FabSwingers.com forum: What's your best joke ??

By *amesnj007 OP Man
over a year ago

Milton Keynes

Want to hear a joke about my penis?

Nevermind. It’s too long.

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By *amesnj007 OP Man
over a year ago

Milton Keynes

Doctor: “Sir, I have some bad news. I’m afraid you’re going to have to stop masturbating.”

Patient: “I don’t understand, doc. Why?”

Doctor: “Because I’m trying to examine you.”

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By *amesnj007 OP Man
over a year ago

Milton Keynes

What do you call a cheap circumcision?

A rip off.

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By *igonpleasureMan
over a year ago

Colne

What did the blacket say as it feel off the bed

Oh sheet

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

How do you upset Lady Gaga?

Poker Face.

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By *melfCouple
over a year ago

Stoneybridge

Two Monkeys in a bath the first monkey says

"Ooo ooo ooo ooo"

the second monkey replies

"well put sone cold water in then".

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By *ackbydemandMan
over a year ago

Leicester

Took my Labrador to the vet, picked him up and looked into his eyes and focused.

Then said "I'm sorry im going to have to put him down"

What's wrong with him?

"Nothing, he's just really heavy"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's kind of a joke but it was a statement... When I went to Airborne school in the US army on my first jump out drill instructor asked us females if we wore feminine products. We all look quizzically at one another. She said we do not want you bitches whistling on the way down. It's the best thing I always remember.

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By *amesnj007 OP Man
over a year ago

Milton Keynes

[Removed by poster at 20/01/23 23:50:59]

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By *amesnj007 OP Man
over a year ago

Milton Keynes

Glasgow have a lot in common: they’re the only two places in the world where you can have for sex for chips.” –

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By *trideMan
over a year ago

Plymouth

Take more water with it!

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By *adger BrocMan
over a year ago

Co. Cork

Knock knock

Who's there

I'm a swinger.

Try some other room we already have a 3sum going on here.

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By *ulieAndBeefCouple
over a year ago

Manchester-ish

Why did the Baker have brown hands?

Because he kneaded a poo

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By *nimaginativeUsernameMan
over a year ago

Rochester, Kent

"Want to hear a joke about my penis?

Nevermind. It’s too long."

Followed by the woman replying: ‘I could tell you a joke about my pussy, but you’d never get it’

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By *ittlebirdWoman
over a year ago

The Big Smoke

"Want to hear a joke about my penis?

Nevermind. It’s too long.

Followed by the woman replying: ‘I could tell you a joke about my pussy, but you’d never get it’"

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By *oeBeansMan
over a year ago

Derby

A Priest, a pastor, and a rabbit walk into a blood donation clinic. The nurse asks the rabbit "What blood type are you?"

"I'm probably a Type-O", replied the rabbit

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By *ittlebirdWoman
over a year ago

The Big Smoke

"A Priest, a pastor, and a rabbit walk into a blood donation clinic. The nurse asks the rabbit "What blood type are you?"

"I'm probably a Type-O", replied the rabbit"

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By *r TriomanMan
over a year ago

Chippenham Malmesbury area

"A Priest, a pastor, and a rabbit walk into a blood donation clinic. The nurse asks the rabbit "What blood type are you?"

"I'm probably a Type-O", replied the rabbit

Very funny, it did take me a few seconds though but I got there in the end... rabbits can't talk

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By *unthum62Man
over a year ago

Benidorm

I have a small amphibian as a pet.

I call him Tiny.

Because he is my newt.

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By *ophie199Couple
over a year ago

Leeds

My sex life at the moment!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Wot do u call a woman who sets fire to her Bill's?

Bernadette

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By *rAitchMan
over a year ago

Diagonally Parked in a Parallel Universe

John Wayne Bobbitt has opened a vegan restaurant in LA.

It's called No Meat and Two Veg.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What’s black and white falling off a cliff?

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By *ieselJuiceMan
over a year ago

Stratford

A lesbian joins a weight watchers club.

Teacher says "you are what you eat!"

Lesbian says "you calling me a cunt?"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Well that escalated quickly

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By *all Guy 00Man
over a year ago

Dumfries

Spurs

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By *amesnj007 OP Man
over a year ago

Milton Keynes

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By *adbod74Man
over a year ago

Dudley

My last marridge

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By *ittlemissmistressKCouple
over a year ago

Southampton

A lorry load of Viagra was st*len the other day. Police say they're looking for two hardened criminals...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What did the drummer call his twin girls???

Anna 1

Anna 2

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By *MisschiefxTV/TS
over a year ago

London

A man walks into a bar. He is an alcoholic whose drink problem is destroying his family

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By *oeBeansMan
over a year ago

Derby

"A Priest, a pastor, and a rabbit walk into a blood donation clinic. The nurse asks the rabbit "What blood type are you?"

"I'm probably a Type-O", replied the rabbit

Very funny, it did take me a few seconds though but I got there in the end... rabbits can't talk

Took me a minute too when I first read it but laughed a lot when I eventually got it

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By *arkandlovelyWoman
over a year ago

South Derbyshire

Why aren't koalas proper bears?

They don't have the koala-fications.

Hahaha see it's funny but also completely adorable.

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By *oeBeansMan
over a year ago

Derby

"Why aren't koalas proper bears?

They don't have the koala-fications.

Hahaha see it's funny but also completely adorable."

Just like you

(I'm sorry, that was awful

)

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By *arkandlovelyWoman
over a year ago

South Derbyshire

"Why aren't koalas proper bears?

They don't have the koala-fications.

Hahaha see it's funny but also completely adorable.

Just like you

(I'm sorry, that was awful

D'awww

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My sex life is on a roll. Last night I fucked Ivanka, the night before Melania.

I really have come up Trumps.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Never get in an argument with a circle.

It's pointless.

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By *amesnj007 OP Man
over a year ago

Milton Keynes

What did the toaster say to the slice of bread? "I want you inside me."

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By *amesnj007 OP Man
over a year ago

Milton Keynes

"I bet you can't tell me something that will make me both happy and sad at the same time," a husband says to his wife. She thinks about it for a moment and then responds, "Your penis is bigger than your brother's."

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By *amesnj007 OP Man
over a year ago

Milton Keynes

How is playing bridge similar to sex? If you don't have a good partner, you better have a good hand.

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By *amesnj007 OP Man
over a year ago

Milton Keynes

What's the difference between a tire and 365 used condoms? One's a Goodyear. The other's a great year.

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By *amesnj007 OP Man
over a year ago

Milton Keynes

What do a penis and a Rubik's Cube have in common? The more you play with it, the harder it gets.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What's the difference between a whore and a Cadburys Creme Egg?

You can lick out a Creme Egg for 70p

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By *amesnj007 OP Man
over a year ago

Milton Keynes

How can you tell if your husband is dead? The sex is the same, but you get to use the remote.

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By *oeBeansMan
over a year ago

Derby

I have a horse called Mayo. Mayo neighs

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By *ittlebirdWoman
over a year ago

The Big Smoke

"What's the difference between a whore and a Cadburys Creme Egg?

You can lick out a Creme Egg for 70p"

I like that one

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By *idnight RamblerMan
over a year ago

Pershore

Janet Street-Porter walks up to a bar and says to the bartender "Could I get a large aperitif?"

Barman looks up and says "I very much doubt it love".

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By *trideMan
over a year ago

Plymouth

Her : if you were my husband I'd poison your coffee.

Him: if you were my wife I'd drink it.

What's the leading cause of dry skin?

Towels.

I’ve been thinking about taking up meditation.

I figure it’s better than sitting around doing nothing.

Why don’t you ever see elephants hiding in trees?

Because they’re really good at it.

Why do they paint their balls red?

So they can hide in cherry trees.

What is the loudest sound in the jungle?

Giraffes eating cherries.

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By *ncemoreroundthesunCouple
over a year ago

A town and place not in the UK

"I have a horse called Mayo. Mayo neighs"

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By *yjellyfishMan
over a year ago

bristol

Not a best joke but tickles me this..

Went up to a copper outside the shopping center saying i can't find my dad. Copper says "Whats he like?"

I said " Women and beer"

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By *yjellyfishMan
over a year ago

bristol

Ha ha, do like that

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By *yjellyfishMan
over a year ago

bristol

Excellent

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By *yjellyfishMan
over a year ago

bristol

Love it. I wish my memory were better, so many great replies on this topic

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By *lirty_dirtyCouple
over a year ago

Lingfield

A skeleton walks into a bar and orders a beer and mop....

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By *olmaMan
over a year ago

Kettering

Did you hear about the woman with 3 vaginas?

She got fucked left, right and centre!

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By *aptain Caveman41Man
over a year ago

Home

Manchester United

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Two sausage frying in a pan

"It's bloody hot in here" saud the 1st sausage

"Fuck me! A talking sausage!!!" Said the 2nd

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By *nabelle21Woman
over a year ago

B38

"Want to hear a joke about my penis?

Nevermind. It’s too long."

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By *nabelle21Woman
over a year ago

B38

"What do you call a cheap circumcision?

A rip off."

Oooh

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By *nabelle21Woman
over a year ago

B38

"How do you upset Lady Gaga?

Poker Face."

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By *nabelle21Woman
over a year ago

B38

"Want to hear a joke about my penis?

Nevermind. It’s too long.

Followed by the woman replying: ‘I could tell you a joke about my pussy, but you’d never get it’"

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By *hippy57Man
over a year ago

Chelmsford

Red indian boy asks dad why he called his new born sister running water,well my son,when she born I looked out of teepee and the river was running fast hence running water ,why you ask two dogs fucking

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Want to hear a joke about my penis?

Nevermind. It’s too long.

Followed by the woman replying: ‘I could tell you a joke about my pussy, but you’d never get it’

Hahaha so funny

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By *lint-EverhardMan
over a year ago

Perpignan and cap

[Removed by poster at 24/01/23 06:30:49]

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By *lint-EverhardMan
over a year ago

Perpignan and cap

[Removed by poster at 24/01/23 06:30:54]

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By *lint-EverhardMan
over a year ago

Perpignan and cap

Right.... I'll do that again.

Why did the chicken cross the road?

To get to the idiots house.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I was walking past the book store the other day and saw a book advertised.. it said “solve 50% of your problems”...... so I ended up buying 2

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By *lint-EverhardMan
over a year ago

Perpignan and cap

Knock Knock

Who's there?

The chicken.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

They say that during sex you burn off as many calories as running eight miles.

Who the hell runs eight miles in 30 seconds?

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

King's Crustacean

"A Priest, a pastor, and a rabbit walk into a blood donation clinic. The nurse asks the rabbit "What blood type are you?"

"I'm probably a Type-O", replied the rabbit"

ffs..... made me larrrrrrrrf

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By *hesblokeMan
over a year ago

Derbyshire village

How do you get ten Pikachus on a bus?

Pokémon.

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By *2000ManMan
over a year ago

Worthing

Why did the chicken cross the road?

So it could go to the gym and work on it's pecks.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Why did the chicken cross the road?

So it could go to the gym and work on it's pecks."

Im stealing this lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Seven dwarfs in a boat feeling happy, so he got out

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