FabSwingers.com forum: Stick the last thing you bought up the arse

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Of the poster above you

since I'm posting I will go with poster below and it's a 12" Subway Meatball Marinara with extra Jalapeños

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Can off monster ooo god

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

2.L bottle of cream soder

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By *glyBettyTV/TS
over a year ago

About 3 feet away from the fence

Luckily for both of us it's an Andrex pack of 4 toilet paper

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Luckily for both of us it's an Andrex pack of 4 toilet paper

Soft and gentle then

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By *rLothbrokMan
over a year ago

Lancs

A 10 foot ladder

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By *aptain Caveman41Man
over a year ago

Home

A lottery scratch card

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"A 10 foot ladder

Good luck mate

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By *epsimax71Woman
over a year ago

Norwich, Norfolk & Suffolk

A wipe clean table cloth

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By *TG3Man
over a year ago

Dorchester

An elephant tusk

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A cheese and ham roll with salad cream?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The "big" shop at Tesco

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By *onny69sMan
over a year ago

Donny

A 2.5 mtr pop up gazebo.

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By *TG3Man
over a year ago

Dorchester

"A cheese and ham roll with salad cream? "
thankyou

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By *ensuallover1000Man
over a year ago

Somewhere In The Ether…

A bottle of shaving foam (I’m kind so will spray a bit up there as lube before inserting it)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ouch.

The last thing I bought was one of those brass padlocks from wiko's.

The one with the sliding shackle, not the loop.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"The "big" shop at Tesco "

Hope it includes lube

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By *weetkitten65Woman
over a year ago

Halifax

A dehumidifier...

But only one of those jobbies you put on the window sill...

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By *ornycougaWoman
over a year ago

Wherever I lay my hat

Vegetable gyozas and bottle of Prosecco

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By *ickshawedCouple
over a year ago

Wolverhampton

A 5 pack of icelollies. A good shape for the task ahead I feel

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A carton of orange juice. Edgy, eh?

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By *hePerkyPumpkinTV/TS
over a year ago

Bristol

I just bought some a new software... How do I upload it in my ass?

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By *ellhungvweMan
over a year ago

Cheltenham

40 litres of diesel

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By *ulieAndBeefCouple
over a year ago

Manchester-ish

A bag of wild bird seed.

I don't know that I'm squirrel proof

so it seems like a waste, it isn't tuppence a bag anymore.

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By *amie HantsWoman
over a year ago

Atlantis

A pack of Brillo pads and a tub of the pink stuff.

Sorry

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By *gent CoulsonMan
over a year ago

Secret hideaway in the pennines

I wouldn't get it up there, record turntables are a bit too big

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"A 5 pack of icelollies. A good shape for the task ahead I feel

A quintuple penetration! Wow

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My kingsize bed and mattress that got delivered today.... There's not enough lube in the world!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"40 litres of diesel

That's an expensive enema

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

New tractor tyre

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By *TG3Man
over a year ago

Dorchester

Lidl shop

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A bag of coffee. That's one way to get my caffeine hit I guess

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Blue adidas hoodie, show up skid marks nicely

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

4 chocolate doughnuts. All soft and squidgy.

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By *ittlemissTinselTitsCouple
over a year ago

Southampton

A latte!!

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By *lephantisMan
over a year ago

Oxford

Crumpets. Toasted would probably hold their integrity better, and buttered would be a kindness.

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By *r9inchMan
over a year ago

Stoke-on-Trent/south cheshire

A set of bike lights

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Two bottles of Pino, Mmmm nice

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Thats freaky- I bought crumpets too!

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By *rLothbrokMan
over a year ago

Lancs

"A pack of Brillo pads and a tub of the pink stuff.

Sorry

That’s an extreme way to give a colonic

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By *entBarryUKMan
over a year ago

Ashford

Two bottles of shampoo and some Smints. Sounds like a minty bum wash!

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By *reyToTheFairiesWoman
over a year ago

Carlisle usually

Another tentacle dildo?

Sure why not.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"4 chocolate doughnuts. All soft and squidgy."

Now I love doughnuts, but I probably wouldn't eat them out your arse

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By *ackformore100Man
over a year ago

Tin town

"Another tentacle dildo?

Sure why not."

Mushroom stir fry.... Might be a bit tricky...

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By *arker secrets 321Man
over a year ago

West Bromwich

Pint of milk x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"4 chocolate doughnuts. All soft and squidgy.

Now I love doughnuts, but I probably wouldn't eat them out your arse

Ah go on, maybe just one

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Butter

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By *rtyIanMan
over a year ago

Gateway to the Beacons

A pint of moretti

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A kebab.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"The "big" shop at Tesco

Hope it includes lube "

I'm gonna have to go back and get some unless you're brave

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By *bi HaiveMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Cheeseville, Somerset

20 litres of diesel.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Tries to imagine forcing a lovely Saint+Sofia blazer up someone’s arse

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By *rAitchMan
over a year ago

Diagonally Parked in a Parallel Universe

A battery for my mum's laptop!

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By *k_123Man
over a year ago

Preston

A TT bike …..ooch :o

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By *aximum_funMan
over a year ago

West Herts

"Tries to imagine forcing a lovely Saint+Sofia blazer up someone’s arse

2 pints of oat milk, glass bottles. Sorry!

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By *ady LickWoman
over a year ago

Northampton Somewhere

A 12kg bag of dry dog food ~ sorry!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Tries to imagine forcing a lovely Saint+Sofia blazer up someone’s arse

2 pints of oat milk, glass bottles. Sorry!"

You’re not sorry

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By *outhwesthornMan
over a year ago

villamartin

Mexican rice

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By *entlemanFoxMan
over a year ago

North East / London

I seem to have escaped relatively lightly with a 10 pack of C cell batteries.

It does remind me of the epic thread from a while back where someone inquired about using a tow ball as a butt plug.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"4 chocolate doughnuts. All soft and squidgy."

What a waste of good doughnuts !!

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By *ust MikeMan
over a year ago

Yaxley

"I seem to have escaped relatively lightly with a 10 pack of C cell batteries.

It does remind me of the epic thread from a while back where someone inquired about using a tow ball as a butt plug. "

Hahaha!

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By *inkyKissCouple
over a year ago

Bristol

A Logitech wave keboard

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By *C79Man
over a year ago

Caterham

The weekly shop

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By * Lexi xWoman
over a year ago

stockport

3 blushers and an eye shadow pallet

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A book about custard creams

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A Ted Baker bobble hat and gloves

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Text book on exposure therapy

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Two organic chicken breasts

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By *iscean_dreamMan
over a year ago

Llanelli

Loaf of sour dough

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By *parkle1974Woman
over a year ago

Leeds

Dobby the Elf

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

New pink lingerie

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By *agneto.Man
over a year ago

Bham

"New pink lingerie

Px "

Filling her up with petrol. Which hole love?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A six berth caravan !!

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By *iltsTSgirlTV/TS
over a year ago

chichester

A 100kg anvil Gonna need more lube I think to slide that up my tail pipe

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A Guinness pint?......fair play! The tops of those aren't narrow! Haha

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By *TG3Man
over a year ago

Dorchester

"A bag of coffee. That's one way to get my caffeine hit I guess

"
licking my arse?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

An apple slice.

So delicious, so soft. It wasn't a literal apple slice, it was soaked apple slices baked into a soft sponge. I could try and insert it into the asshole of the poster above, but it was such a delicate texture it would simply crumble as soon as any force was applied. And to be honest, it would be a total waste. But if you're willing to give me €3 I will do it.

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By *agneto.Man
over a year ago

Bham

I've just paid myself 10p for my tongue...

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By *sleWightCoupleCouple
over a year ago

Ryde

A 4K copy of Top Gun: Maverick.

The rumour is that Tom Cruise has been up many an arsehole before.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A bag of salt

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By *loss aka Miss JonesWoman
over a year ago

south coast IOW

"I've just paid myself 10p for my tongue..."

Can I rent yours for 10p too then please. As the last thing I bought otherwise is a weeks groceries. Yikes.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

20 litres of diesel...........

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By *nightsoftheCoffeeTableCouple
over a year ago

Leeds

Bacon and egg baguette

The mr

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

500ml Flake tub of ice cream

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By *awhide69Man
over a year ago

ayr

3 leg hone for engine cylinder bores

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By *ovelaughliveCouple
over a year ago

Oldham

For me a bottle of wine!! (Wouldn't be the first time)

Hubby fifa23 so he said he will gladly take on Manchester Uniteds womens team! X

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A KFC bucket meal?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A Dyson hair dryer

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By *ayna20Couple
over a year ago

Kent

A bottle of prosecco

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

New to this x x x

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By *ubcdverykinkyMan
over a year ago

Bourne lincs

My new 13 inch strap on

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A weekend away

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By *unthum62Man
over a year ago

Benidorm

Oh god.

A 100m x 1.5m roll of woven windbreak. About 30cm in diameter.

You better find something to bite down on, this may smart a little but will widen your perspective.

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By *D of funCouple
over a year ago

Northampton

A washing machine

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"A washing machine

Wrought iron electric gates

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By *xhib12Man
over a year ago

Blyth

2 metres of copper tube!

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By *inister_SpinsterWoman
over a year ago

Manchester(ish).

2 tickets to a drag show.

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By *irty-pairCouple
over a year ago

South Essex

A train ticket. At nearly £30 for an evening journey into London, I wanted to tell the train company to stick it up THEIR arse!

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By *idnight RamblerMan
over a year ago

Pershore

Yet we wonder why the NHS is overwhelmed.

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By *igforfun100Man
over a year ago

Magherafelt

A wooden lathe turned RPG rocket. No room in there for dat

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A wheelbarrow. I mean I'll try... Wish me luck!

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By *idnight RamblerMan
over a year ago

Pershore

A thermometer.

37.1C since you asked.

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By *ools and the brainCouple
over a year ago

couple, us we him her.

2 lengths of 3m 4x2 treated.

So no thanks I'll pass.

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By *amhorniestMan
over a year ago

Surrey

A marrow, a cucumber and a bunch of bananas.... it's going to be a busy day

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By *entBarryUKMan
over a year ago

Ashford

"Another tentacle dildo?

Sure why not."

Don't forget the lube please!

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By *utlongjohnMan
over a year ago

Fuel for my car

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By *wingin CatMan
over a year ago

London

A Stevie Wonder LP.

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By *eah BabyCouple
over a year ago

Cheshire, Windermere ,Cumbria

Bavarian Slice

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Large Latte

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By *ightkitty4uWoman
over a year ago

Epsom

Petrol

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By *elvet RopeMan
over a year ago

by the big field

Should be interesting as it was a yogurt- which I’ve already eaten….so they’re gonna have to wait til it comes back out before we can fathom the logistics of if you can insert a turd back in to an arse or not

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By *ewiscypherMan
over a year ago

St Austell

A grandmother clock???

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By *TG3Man
over a year ago

Dorchester

I went to lidl and bought a large butternut squash

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A bag of crisps

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A black coffee.

No.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

10-18mm wide angle lense

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By *amierebelMan
over a year ago

nae danger.

Well I mean it was a 3 litre jug of milk so that's going take some stretching

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By *nselfishpleaserMan
over a year ago

kent

An Audi A3

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By *akeanyoneMan
over a year ago

A McDonald's. I think that will be coming out my ass rather than going in

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By *amierebelMan
over a year ago

nae danger.

"An Audi A3

Sake!!! Couldn't have took it for a spin and bought some shopping

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Bavarian ham, thank me later

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By *ackformore100Man
over a year ago

Tin town

"A Stevie Wonder LP."

Uptight outta sight?

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By *ove2lickMan
over a year ago

Sheffield

Some pigs ears for the dog

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By *ackformore100Man
over a year ago

Tin town

Love honey are looking for ideas

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By *pider-WomanWoman
over a year ago

Exeter, Bristol, Plymouth, Truro

A chicken

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

An Aubergine

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By *ortyairCouple
over a year ago

Wallasey

Polyfilla, not the best choice I would have ever made.

Does say it will fill all cracks though xxx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Cake enema it is then!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

An air hockey table

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A pencil

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By *ertslady1984Woman
over a year ago

Herts

I'm not sticking a 2 litre bottle of soda up my bottom lol.

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By *ortyairCouple
over a year ago

Wallasey

"I'm not sticking a 2 litre bottle of soda up my bottom lol."
I've got some Mentos, it might be fun lol x

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By *ertslady1984Woman
over a year ago

Herts

"I'm not sticking a 2 litre bottle of soda up my bottom lol. I've got some Mentos, it might be fun lol x"

That's a bit to hardcore for me

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By *ortyairCouple
over a year ago

Wallasey

"I'm not sticking a 2 litre bottle of soda up my bottom lol. I've got some Mentos, it might be fun lol x

That's a bit to hardcore for me

"
well if your not gonna, drop the pop round to mine lol x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

1.7ltr electric kettle, now that has some girth

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A railway sleeper!!! That’s going to leave a splinter!!

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

Two tubs of humous and an 8 pack of poppadoms

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Two kinder eggs and a 2l bottle of pepsi

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It’s gonna be f’kin dangerous. I bought scalpel blades.

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By *lirtyAndFunCouple
over a year ago

Rushden

"Two tubs of humous and an 8 pack of poppadoms "

At least V will have a meal while he's down there

Bought - 1 litre bottle of Jamesons for V. Sorry

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"It’s gonna be f’kin dangerous. I bought scalpel blades.

Ouch!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It’ll make one man and his jar look like a scratch.

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By *oanne ETV/TS
over a year ago

Near Warrington

Must be my lucky day, just bought some anal lube lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"An Audi A3

With an Audi is it not true that the arse is on the inside?

( only joking

)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"An Audi A3

With an Audi is it not true that the arse is on the inside?

( only joking

) "

Pneumatic Jack hammer

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By *rlandoMan
over a year ago

Lincolnshire

I forgot !

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A rug

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By *ainbow_RoadWoman
over a year ago

Brighton

how do I stick a trip through the carwash up there?

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By *ad NannaWoman
over a year ago

East London

Domino's pizza and sides

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Domino's pizza and sides

Phone case!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"how do I stick a trip through the carwash up there?"

May have to improvise. Strip off, run in and let the spinning mops spank you?

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By *ovelifelovefuntimesMan
over a year ago

Where ever I lay my hat

1kg of chicken thighs

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By *opboilondonMan
over a year ago

West London, Southall

Chicken burger it's going to get messy, lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Can off monster ooo god"

Oh, the satisfying 'Psssssst' sound when giving the ring-pull a sharp tug

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A large Domino’s Veggie Supreme Pizza, Garlic Bread, and a tub of Coleslaw

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By *melfCouple
over a year ago

Stoneybridge

"A large Domino’s Veggie Supreme Pizza, Garlic Bread, and a tub of Coleslaw"

Sorry but was a 500ml can of lager. Going to smart a bit I'm sure x

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By *ucka39Man
over a year ago

Newcastle

"A large Domino’s Veggie Supreme Pizza, Garlic Bread, and a tub of Coleslaw"

Ya safe I didn't buy anything

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By *annabarberaCouple
over a year ago

Staffs

A but plug

Miss P x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Pizza

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By *rispyDuckMan
over a year ago

Chinese Takeaway near you

Can of monster energy drink

"Brace for impact"

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By *istyPeaksCouple
over a year ago

braintree

Razors….

Erm. No

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Lemon protein mousse or a red pepper. Either are going to be messy and I’d likely need a hand. Or a tongue

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Lemon protein mousse or a red pepper. Either are going to be messy and I’d likely need a hand. Or a tongue

Sorry, but you're getting a petrol pump up your ring

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By *nigmatic x DivinityCouple
over a year ago

Up town top ranking

Fizzy water lol

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By *ittlelad69Man
over a year ago

clay cross

Fuck me I’ve just bought a fridge

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By *avexxMan
over a year ago

cheshire

big thick pillar candle, no way

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By *inister_SpinsterWoman
over a year ago

Manchester(ish).

2 dozen eggs

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By *avexxMan
over a year ago

cheshire

"2 dozen eggs

"
and a whole chicken,,

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By *inister_SpinsterWoman
over a year ago

Manchester(ish).

"2 dozen eggs

and a whole chicken,,"

Which goes first ?

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By *avexxMan
over a year ago

cheshire

"2 dozen eggs

and a whole chicken,,

Which goes first ?

"
,, eggs i think,,

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By *ldbutrandyMan
over a year ago

West Midlands

600 gms of walnuts , thank God they're out of their shells

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By *loss aka Miss JonesWoman
over a year ago

south coast IOW

A hotel room for one night.

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By *icolerobbieCouple
over a year ago

walsall

Diesel. Err, no thank you!

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By *aimieG66TV/TS
over a year ago

Glasgow

Cream egg

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By *inister_SpinsterWoman
over a year ago

Manchester(ish).

"2 dozen eggs

and a whole chicken,,

Which goes first ?

,, eggs i think,,"

Useful lube for the chicken!

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By *avexxMan
over a year ago

cheshire

"Cream egg

"
,, i love cream eggs

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