FabSwingers.com forum: My boyfriend broke up with me

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

He said I never listen. And some other shit, I don’t know

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By *oanne ETV/TS
over a year ago

Near Warrington

"He said I never listen. And some other shit, I don’t know "

Brilliant xxxx

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By *ornyryan26Man
over a year ago

Eastbourne

"He said I never listen. And some other shit, I don’t know "
that not good

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I came home with a note from my girlfriend on the fridge saying : this doesn’t work.

I opened the fridge, the light went on though.

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By *iscean_dreamMan
over a year ago

Llanelli

"He said I never listen. And some other shit, I don’t know "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"He said I never listen. And some other shit, I don’t know "

I'm sorry to hear this, OP. If you need to talk, I'm a good listener x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"He said I never listen. And some other shit, I don’t know "

What did you say?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"He said I never listen. And some other shit, I don’t know

I'm sorry to hear this, OP. If you need to talk, I'm a good listener x"

Sorry, what was that

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"He said I never listen. And some other shit, I don’t know

I'm sorry to hear this, OP. If you need to talk, I'm a good listener x"

Dude ... Really?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"He said I never listen. And some other shit, I don’t know

I'm sorry to hear this, OP. If you need to talk, I'm a good listener x

Sorry, what was that "

I said, I'm sorry to hear this, OP. If you need to talk, I'm a good listener x

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I came home with a note from my girlfriend on the fridge saying : this doesn’t work.

I opened the fridge, the light went on though. "

How weird is that

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"He said I never listen. And some other shit, I don’t know

I'm sorry to hear this, OP. If you need to talk, I'm a good listener x

Sorry, what was that

I said, I'm sorry to hear this, OP. If you need to talk, I'm a good listener x"

You look fine what are you worried about

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Emmm ok this is a hard one as I kind off detect a joke but at the same time I don’t want to laugh or anything just incase it isn’t

Ok awww hugs op if it’s not a joke you deserve better

It’s ok though have a little cry wipe away the tears and let loose and have a awesome time

Till someone comes along that deserves you

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sorry not looking for couples

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Emmm ok this is a hard one as I kind off detect a joke but at the same time I don’t want to laugh or anything just incase it isn’t

Ok awww hugs op if it’s not a joke you deserve better

It’s ok though have a little cry wipe away the tears and let loose and have a awesome time

Till someone comes along that deserves you "

I normally go for awkward silence whilst looking for exit sign

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By *iscean_dreamMan
over a year ago

Llanelli

My girlfriend was talking to me on the phone earlier and she said we're breaking up, I said I'll call her later and that she really needs to change mobile provider

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By *he Ring WraithMan
over a year ago

Bradford

She sent me a letter which started 'Dear John' I didn't read it my name is Paul. Never did find out why she wasn't home.

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By *ackbydemandMan
over a year ago

Leicester

"He said I never listen. And some other shit, I don’t know "

Omg I am figuratively pissing myself at the people in this thread. Serious face

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"He said I never listen. And some other shit, I don’t know

I'm sorry to hear this, OP. If you need to talk, I'm a good listener x

Dude ... Really?

Too soon? Do you think she needs some space?

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By *ucka39Man
over a year ago

Newcastle

Don't worry about it, it's nothing new most people don't listen. I for one

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"She sent me a letter which started 'Dear John' I didn't read it my name is Paul. Never did find out why she wasn't home. "

Reminds me of the young ones scene

“They’re probably bills”

“WHO’S BILL?”

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"He said I never listen. And some other shit, I don’t know

Omg I am figuratively pissing myself at the people in this thread. Serious face

You and me both

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"He said I never listen. And some other shit, I don’t know

I'm sorry to hear this, OP. If you need to talk, I'm a good listener x

Dude ... Really?

Too soon? Do you think she needs some space?"

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By *TG3Man
over a year ago

Dorchester

Whats an alligator in a vest called....... An investigator

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"He said I never listen. And some other shit, I don’t know

I'm sorry to hear this, OP. If you need to talk, I'm a good listener x

Dude ... Really?

????????

Too soon? Do you think she needs some space?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

What’s the difference between a chicken leg and a penis?

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By *TG3Man
over a year ago

Dorchester

"What’s the difference between a chicken leg and a penis?"
don't know

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By *eliWoman
over a year ago

Well played OP.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"What’s the difference between a chicken leg and a penis?don't know"

You don’t know?

Do you fancy coming on a picnic?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"He said I never listen. And some other shit, I don’t know "
love it

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By *rHotNottsMan
over a year ago

Dubai & Nottingham

Will a cock pic help in this situation ?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What kind of fucked up picnics do you have that involve chicken legs and penises.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"What kind of fucked up picnics do you have that involve chicken legs and penises.

Do you want to find out

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By *ackbydemandMan
over a year ago

Leicester

[Removed by poster at 19/01/23 19:50:28]

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By *ensuallover1000Man
over a year ago

Somewhere In The Ether…

My girlfriend just left me too.

She said she was sick of constantly having to ask me to do the household DIY.

As she slammed the door as she stormed her way out, it fell off the hinges.

That’ll teach her…

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By *TG3Man
over a year ago

Dorchester

"What’s the difference between a chicken leg and a penis?don't know

You don’t know?

Do you fancy coming on a picnic?"
lol

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"What’s the difference between a chicken leg and a penis?

Not sure, but you wanna go for a picnic?"

I’ll bring the chicken legs, you bring the penises

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By *ackbydemandMan
over a year ago

Leicester

"What kind of fucked up picnics do you have that involve chicken legs and penises.

Do you want to find out "

This is a trick question, right?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"What kind of fucked up picnics do you have that involve chicken legs and penises.

Do you want to find out "

Do I need to sign a waiver or anything before I agree?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"What kind of fucked up picnics do you have that involve chicken legs and penises.

Do you want to find out

Do I need to sign a waiver or anything before I agree?"

It’s a picnic not fucking Farmageddon

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By *iscean_dreamMan
over a year ago

Llanelli

"What kind of fucked up picnics do you have that involve chicken legs and penises.

Do you want to find out

Do I need to sign a waiver or anything before I agree?"

I heard you just have to stick your dick in the chicken bucket

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"What kind of fucked up picnics do you have that involve chicken legs and penises.

Do you want to find out

Do I need to sign a waiver or anything before I agree?

It’s a picnic not fucking Farmageddon"

That’s what you’re telling me, how can I be so sure?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"What kind of fucked up picnics do you have that involve chicken legs and penises.

Do you want to find out

Do I need to sign a waiver or anything before I agree?

I heard you just have to stick your dick in the chicken bucket "

Don’t pretend you’ve never seen it happen in KFC

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"What kind of fucked up picnics do you have that involve chicken legs and penises.

Do you want to find out

Do I need to sign a waiver or anything before I agree?

I heard you just have to stick your dick in the chicken bucket "

That’s a step up from warm apple pie

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By *ixi n DogCouple
over a year ago

Pembrokeshire

"He said I never listen. And some other shit, I don’t know "
Eh..?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"What kind of fucked up picnics do you have that involve chicken legs and penises.

Do you want to find out

Do I need to sign a waiver or anything before I agree?

It’s a picnic not fucking Farmageddon

That’s what you’re telling me, how can I be so sure? "

So suspicious of an innocent picnic

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By *iscean_dreamMan
over a year ago

Llanelli

"What kind of fucked up picnics do you have that involve chicken legs and penises.

Do you want to find out

Do I need to sign a waiver or anything before I agree?

I heard you just have to stick your dick in the chicken bucket

Don’t pretend you’ve never seen it happen in KFC"

Only when I look down at my bucket, anyone fancy KFC?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"What kind of fucked up picnics do you have that involve chicken legs and penises.

Do you want to find out

Do I need to sign a waiver or anything before I agree?

It’s a picnic not fucking Farmageddon

That’s what you’re telling me, how can I be so sure?

So suspicious of an innocent picnic "

Anything else besides chicken legs and a penis?

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By *iscean_dreamMan
over a year ago

Llanelli

"What kind of fucked up picnics do you have that involve chicken legs and penises.

Do you want to find out

Do I need to sign a waiver or anything before I agree?

I heard you just have to stick your dick in the chicken bucket

That’s a step up from warm apple pie"

You can't get away with apple pie in public

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"What kind of fucked up picnics do you have that involve chicken legs and penises.

Do you want to find out

Do I need to sign a waiver or anything before I agree?

It’s a picnic not fucking Farmageddon

That’s what you’re telling me, how can I be so sure?

So suspicious of an innocent picnic

Anything else besides chicken legs and a penis? "

…………… No

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"What kind of fucked up picnics do you have that involve chicken legs and penises.

Do you want to find out

Do I need to sign a waiver or anything before I agree?

It’s a picnic not fucking Farmageddon

That’s what you’re telling me, how can I be so sure?

So suspicious of an innocent picnic

Anything else besides chicken legs and a penis?

…………… No"

Ah what the hell, I’m in.

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By *ackbydemandMan
over a year ago

Leicester

"What kind of fucked up picnics do you have that involve chicken legs and penises.

Do you want to find out

Do I need to sign a waiver or anything before I agree?

It’s a picnic not fucking Farmageddon

That’s what you’re telling me, how can I be so sure?

So suspicious of an innocent picnic "

What has KFC and your pussy got in common?

There'll be fingers, lickin' and it'll be good

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By *entBarryUKMan
over a year ago

Ashford

Sorry to hear that.

If you had heard it, maybe he would have stayed.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 19/01/23 20:05:14]

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"What kind of fucked up picnics do you have that involve chicken legs and penises.

Do you want to find out

Do I need to sign a waiver or anything before I agree?

It’s a picnic not fucking Farmageddon

That’s what you’re telling me, how can I be so sure?

So suspicious of an innocent picnic

What has KFC and your pussy got in common?

There'll be fingers, lickin' and it'll be good"

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Sorry to hear that.

If you had heard it, maybe he would have stayed.

He keeps shouting “you never listen do you”

Such an aggressive way to start a conversation

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By *ames250122Man
over a year ago

Worcester

"He said I never listen. And some other shit, I don’t know "

brilliant x

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By *lephantisMan
over a year ago

Oxford

"It's at times like this, trapped in an airlock on a Vogon demolition ship with a man from Betelgeuse, about to be thrown into the airless frozen vacuum of space, that I wish I'd listened to what my mother told me when I was a boy."

"Why? What did she say?"

"I don't know. I didn't listen."

OP, I'd turn my hearing aid off for you.

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By *rLothbrokMan
over a year ago

Lancs

"What’s the difference between a chicken leg and a penis?don't know

You don’t know?

Do you fancy coming on a picnic?"

Is there a chef’s kiss emoji?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My girlfriend asked if I noticed anything different about her hair so I took the easy way out and did a triple back flip into a volcano.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

""It's at times like this, trapped in an airlock on a Vogon demolition ship with a man from Betelgeuse, about to be thrown into the airless frozen vacuum of space, that I wish I'd listened to what my mother told me when I was a boy."

"Why? What did she say?"

"I don't know. I didn't listen."

OP, I'd turn my hearing aid off for you.

What was that, I wasn’t listening

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"My girlfriend asked if I noticed anything different about her hair so I took the easy way out and did a triple back flip into a volcano.

Best one so far

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By *hunky GentMan
over a year ago

Maldon and Peterborough

Oh well.

More fish......

And all that lot.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Why have I got people in my inbox asking me if I’ve fucked a woman yet?

Give me chance, my boyfriend’s only just broken up with me

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By *bi HaiveMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Cheeseville, Somerset

My ex wife left me because she said she couldn't remember the last time we had sex.

I blame the chloroform myself.....

It wasn't just that. She said it was also because of my obsession with The Monkees.

I thought she was kidding...

...and then I saw her face.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"He said I never listen. And some other shit, I don’t know "

My ex once asked me if I'd heard a word she'd been saying. I thought to myself "That's a funny way to start a conversation"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Why have I got people in my inbox asking me if I’ve fucked a woman yet?

Give me chance, my boyfriend’s only just broken up with me

There are people on your inbox? Oh my

I suggest you use “send to all” x

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"My ex wife left me because she said she couldn't remember the last time we had sex.

I blame the chloroform myself.....

It wasn't just that. She said it was also because of my obsession with The Monkees.

I thought she was kidding...

...and then I saw her face.

(monkey)

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

There isn’t a monkey one!!

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By *inky_couple2020Couple
over a year ago

North West

My ex was an amputee. We argued incessantly to the point I had to leave. He said it was all my own fault, that I didn't have a leg to stand on. Bit rich coming from him, if you ask me

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By *rLothbrokMan
over a year ago

Lancs

My girlfriend told me sitting on the sofa all day, eating ice cream and catching up with friends makes her happy.

She didn’t look happy when I broke up with her!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Apparently too much sex makes you deaf.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Apparently too much sex makes you deaf."

Say what? Didn’t catch that

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Apparently too much sex makes you deaf."

WHAT?!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Apparently too much sex makes you deaf."

Is it possible to have too much?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Apparently too much sex makes you deaf.

WHAT?!

I SAID, "APPARENTLY TOO MUCH SEX ..."....Never mind

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By *hunky GentMan
over a year ago

Maldon and Peterborough

"Apparently too much sex makes you deaf."

Yeah, but you shouldn't speak with your mouth full.

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By *LIVEANDKICKING100Man
over a year ago

DUBLIN

Congratulations. I hope you'll be very happy.

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By *bi HaiveMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Cheeseville, Somerset

"My ex was an amputee. We argued incessantly to the point I had to leave. He said it was all my own fault, that I didn't have a leg to stand on. Bit rich coming from him, if you ask me

An old girlfriend broke up with me so I stole her wheelchair

Guess who came crawling back.......

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Apparently too much sex makes you deaf."

Cum again!?!

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By *ackbydemandMan
over a year ago

Leicester

My wife left me because I kept playing Wonderwall on the guitar all the time.

On her way out the door she asked me one last time if I would stop singing it.

I said maybeeeeeee

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By *s2pervsCouple
over a year ago

Truro

Did someone say something?

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By *bi HaiveMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Cheeseville, Somerset

An ex FB on here stopped meeting me because I don’t last long in bed.

I told her, “If you change your mind, call me. I’ll come right away.”

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By *r SteelhammerMan
over a year ago

belfast

Hahaha great feed

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Did someone say something? "

I didn’t hear anything

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By *elshcouple18Couple
over a year ago

Cardiff

We were eating dinner in silence today after rowing. She chirps up and said, I've had enough of this, so I slid her plate across and wolfed down her steak.. she's gone upstairs now.

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By *escourtesMan
over a year ago

hereford

You just need a threesome with a chicken and a monkey...thatll help you forget your boyfriend as youll be thinking what the fucks this weird shit Ive got into now

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By *ed-monkeyCouple
over a year ago

Hailsham

"You just need a threesome with a chicken and a monkey...thatll help you forget your boyfriend as youll be thinking what the fucks this weird shit Ive got into now

Did someone say monkey?

I'm in

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By *inky_couple2020Couple
over a year ago

North West

"My ex was an amputee. We argued incessantly to the point I had to leave. He said it was all my own fault, that I didn't have a leg to stand on. Bit rich coming from him, if you ask me

An old girlfriend broke up with me so I stole her wheelchair

Guess who came crawling back.......

I think some people find the disability humour too much

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By *TG3Man
over a year ago

Dorchester

"What kind of fucked up picnics do you have that involve chicken legs and penises.

Do you want to find out

Do I need to sign a waiver or anything before I agree?

I heard you just have to stick your dick in the chicken bucket

Don’t pretend you’ve never seen it happen in KFC"
it certainly tastes like it at the one in Torquay

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By *bi HaiveMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Cheeseville, Somerset

"My ex was an amputee. We argued incessantly to the point I had to leave. He said it was all my own fault, that I didn't have a leg to stand on. Bit rich coming from him, if you ask me

An old girlfriend broke up with me so I stole her wheelchair

Guess who came crawling back.......

I think some people find the disability humour too much

It's something a lot of people can't handle.

Mainly amputees.......

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Best part ever in a chicken is the thighs .

Yours look amazing Scarlot O Scara …

I let you have a go in my sausage if u let me try your thighs ….

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By *rLothbrokMan
over a year ago

Lancs

My ex girlfriend hates being called my ex when I’m with her in public.

If I’d have known that, I wouldn’t have spent a fortune getting married

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"My ex girlfriend hates being called my ex when I’m with her in public.

If I’d have known that, I wouldn’t have spent a fortune getting married

Be prepared to spend a fortune on a divorce

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By *rLothbrokMan
over a year ago

Lancs

"My ex girlfriend hates being called my ex when I’m with her in public.

If I’d have known that, I wouldn’t have spent a fortune getting married

Be prepared to spend a fortune on a divorce

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By *aribbean King 1985Man
over a year ago

South West London

Sorry to hear your boyfriend broke up with you but Im sure yoi be fine to meet someone else soon

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By *odgerMooreMan
over a year ago

Nowhere

My ex broke up with me when i told her id done a poo which weighed exactly 2lbs. She said thats rubbish how can you guess that exact - i said based on size and density I guessed exactly 2lbs - then i put it on the scales - i was bang on!!!

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By *ex HolesMan
over a year ago

Up North

"He said I never listen. And some other shit, I don’t know "

You sound surprised

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By *airyChestedDaveMan
over a year ago

Liverpool

"What’s the difference between a chicken leg and a penis?don't know

You don’t know?

Do you fancy coming on a picnic?"

Yes please

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"My ex broke up with me when i told her id done a poo which weighed exactly 2lbs. She said thats rubbish how can you guess that exact - i said based on size and density I guessed exactly 2lbs - then i put it on the scales - i was bang on!!!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"He said I never listen. And some other shit, I don’t know

You sound surprised "

It came out of nowhere

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"He said I never listen. And some other shit, I don’t know

You sound surprised

It came out of nowhere "

Like dick pic on this website

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By *bi HaiveMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Cheeseville, Somerset

"He said I never listen. And some other shit, I don’t know

You sound surprised

It came out of nowhere "

It's usually the penis.

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By *r TriomanMan
over a year ago

Chippenham Malmesbury area

I'm surprised that you ex saw being a good listener as an essential quality required in a girl friend; your ability to cook, clean and give BJs would be more important to me

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By *andyfloss2000Woman
over a year ago

ashford

Lol x

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By *tourgentMan
over a year ago

Stourbridge

My ex - I'm leaving you

Me - is it because I act like I know everything?

Ex - yes!!!!

Me - I fuckin knew it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

He doesn't deserve you. But don't worry, I'll come round and comfort you.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"He said I never listen. And some other shit, I don’t know "

What you say, just hear white noise

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"He said I never listen. And some other shit, I don’t know "

Hehehe!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My Ex said she prefers holiday sex. Not the post card I was expecting!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I never listen to my other half either I'm deaf

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"What’s the difference between a chicken leg and a penis?don't know

You don’t know?

Do you fancy coming on a picnic?"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Mine said "if you're not home by midnight, then don't bother coming home at all"

So I didn't.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Lady Astor said I never listen to a thing she says.........

I thought "Thats a funny way to start a conversation"

Winston

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By *cottish guy 555Man
over a year ago

London

"My ex wife left me because she said she couldn't remember the last time we had sex.

I blame the chloroform myself.....

It wasn't just that. She said it was also because of my obsession with The Monkees.

I thought she was kidding...

...and then I saw her face.

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By *ecadent_DevonMan
over a year ago

Okehampton

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By *arnayguyMan
over a year ago

Durham Tees

My Mrs said 'If I ever get dementia I am going to kill myself. I can't bear the thought of being a burden to you.'

I said 'Do you realise that's the 5th time you have said that today?'

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A farmer friend of mine got a letter from his finance company ref his new tractor. Apparently he failed to keep up the payments on it and they where going to reposses it.....The letter started JOHN DEERE.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My girlfriend broke up with me yesterday!!!

She over heard me talking about Alexa going down on me twice in one day!

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