FabSwingers.com forum: Inventive uses for cum

By *ickshawed OP Couple
over a year ago

Wolverhampton

There's a cost of living crisis going on. We need to make do and mend, and other such belt tightening stuff

With that in mind, let's make use of the inexpensive resource that is semen.

So tell me a good use for it. Be inventive

I'll start. Can be used for sticking up wallpaper

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By *he_turtle_movesMan
over a year ago

york

A replacement for starch in clothes washes

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By *iddlesticksMan
over a year ago

My nan’s spare room.

When surprising somebody with a surprise 80th birthday party, rubbing cum in their eyes before setting off to the venue will prevent them from seeing where you are taking them.

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By *odgerMooreMan
over a year ago

Nowhere

Brushing on a Vegan sausage roll and filming the dilemma on whether it’s still strictly vegan!!

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By *heltenhamBiGuyMan
over a year ago

Cheltenham

A good facial moisturiser.... full of goodness

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By *aomilatteCouple
over a year ago

Midlands

Inserting onto eyes on Halloween for that bloodshot eye look

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By *rtyIanMan
over a year ago

Gateway to the Beacons

Starch

You ever found a teens wank sock

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By *ensuallover1000Man
over a year ago

Somewhere In The Ether…

Expedient window cleaner…

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Soup thickening?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Hair gel!

(A la Theres Something About Mary!)

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By *ittlebirdWoman
over a year ago

The Big Smoke

It makes great hair gel but it’s a better protein shot. Saves loads on food

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By *oly Fuck Sticks BatmanCouple
over a year ago

here & there

Dehydrate it into a crispy topping for your favourite dishes

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"There's a cost of living crisis going on. We need to make do and mend, and other such belt tightening stuff

With that in mind, let's make use of the inexpensive resource that is semen.

So tell me a good use for it. Be inventive

I'll start. Can be used for sticking up wallpaper

Apparently it is a good moisturiser for the skin to

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By *iddlesticksMan
over a year ago

My nan’s spare room.

"Dehydrate it into a crispy topping for your favourite dishes

That would be you two

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By *weet and SpiceCouple
over a year ago

Around the Midlands

As a milk substitute in your daily coffees/teas etc

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By *arkus1812Man
over a year ago

Lifes departure lounge NN9 Northamptonshire East not West MidlandsMidlands

"When surprising somebody with a surprise 80th birthday party, rubbing cum in their eyes before setting off to the venue will prevent them from seeing where you are taking them.

I am going AWOL on 27th this month in case anyone picks up on what you have suggested

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Instead of corn flour to thicken sauces

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By *og-ManMan
over a year ago

somewhere

Use it in a lava lamp thats been broken and you can see the Jizz rise and fall all day

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Toothpaste

Miss S x

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By *ooking4othersMan
over a year ago

Here ...

Smear it on your windows when you are decorating instead of Windolene but don't wank off at the window to do it

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By *ou only live onceMan
over a year ago

London

Chuck away your Oil of Olay, and treat yourself to Mother Nature's moisturizer...

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By *9Karm69Man
over a year ago

plymouth/chesterfield

Icecream/Ice cubes, some people use breast milk

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By *heVonMatterhornsCouple
over a year ago

Lincoln

Keep the carton of egg whites and just top it up yourself when it gets low.

LvM

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By *inger_the_NinjaMan
over a year ago

Frome

I hear your can use it for making new humans with.

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By *kmale201633Man
over a year ago

Southampton

Hmm would it work as a de-icer? Hell of a load for a full windscreen lol

Potetially top of the list of sentences I never thought I'd write

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By *hePerkyPumpkinTV/TS
over a year ago

Bristol

It's probably great for sore throats and helping singers hit those high notes

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By *heVonMatterhornsCouple
over a year ago

Lincoln

"I hear your can use it for making new humans with. "

Sounds pretty expensive in the long run though

LvM

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By *penbicoupleCouple
over a year ago

Northampton

Well, apparently the yanks use it for cupcakes and take it into school! But the authorities aren't too keen on that.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I believe it can be used as wallpaper paste

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By *inger_the_NinjaMan
over a year ago

Frome

"It's probably great for sore throats and helping singers hit those high notes "

Happy to try that out, I have a bit of a tickle.

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By *ansexualPandaMan
over a year ago

Near You

Judging by how many magazine pages I stuck together as a teen, it makes a great Pritt Stick replacement. Easily remarketed as Prick Stick.

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By *penbicoupleCouple
over a year ago

Northampton

"Smear it on your windows when you are decorating instead of Windolene but don't wank off at the window to do it

That was my mistake. Took me a fortnight!

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By *onnyJohnMan
over a year ago

Doncaster

No nails - for the DIYers... Might take a while to finish the job though ...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"There's a cost of living crisis going on. We need to make do and mend, and other such belt tightening stuff

With that in mind, let's make use of the inexpensive resource that is semen.

So tell me a good use for it. Be inventive

I'll start. Can be used for sticking up wallpaper

Remind me to never help you do DIY

Obviously hair gel is the most obvious use here. But you can spread it out thinly, air dry it in the sun, pick up the little dried sperms, and add them into a grinder for artisan pepper.

(What do you mean, how big are my sperms, I've been bricked, I don't have any....)

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By *ickshawed OP Couple
over a year ago

Wolverhampton

"Brushing on a Vegan sausage roll and filming the dilemma on whether it’s still strictly vegan!!

Are you using a pastry brush or your finger? I just want to check how classy you are

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By *ickshawed OP Couple
over a year ago

Wolverhampton

"Soup thickening?"

Makes it creamier too

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By *ickshawed OP Couple
over a year ago

Wolverhampton

"Use it in a lava lamp thats been broken and you can see the Jizz rise and fall all day "

That's sounds delightfully hypn0tic

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Starch

You ever found a teens wank sock

Mine somehow made it to the washer by themselves...

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By *edplusoneCouple
over a year ago

West Midlands

Put it on the seat next to you so nobody sits there…

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By *ickshawed OP Couple
over a year ago

Wolverhampton

"Keep the carton of egg whites and just top it up yourself when it gets low.

LvM"

Ooh, let's whip it up and I can give your meringues a try

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By *ickshawed OP Couple
over a year ago

Wolverhampton

"Judging by how many magazine pages I stuck together as a teen, it makes a great Pritt Stick replacement. Easily remarketed as Prick Stick."

Important to think of the marketing opportunities as well. Impressive

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Help with morning sickness

Okay, this is probably the last thing a woman is thinking about when she's suffering through morning sickness, but psychologist Gordon Gallup at SUNY-Albany, a male member of the human species who specializes in human reproductive competition and behavior, is suggesting that oral sex could serve as a kind of cure.

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By *ulieAndBeefCouple
over a year ago

Manchester-ish

Sealing envelopes

S.W.A.C.W

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By *ornycougaWoman
over a year ago

Wherever I lay my hat

"Brushing on a Vegan sausage roll and filming the dilemma on whether it’s still strictly vegan!!

My Tinder profile says I'm vegan but partial to a bit of meat

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By *ornycougaWoman
over a year ago

Wherever I lay my hat

Turn up to work with dried jizz all over your face. When the boss notices say it is a flare up of some horrible contagious skin complaint and get sent home immediately

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By *ensuallover1000Man
over a year ago

Somewhere In The Ether…

Sun tan lotion; simply rub it in and lap up the rays. It’s factor 50 so you can rest easy (maybe)

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By *etcplCouple
over a year ago

Gapping Fanny

"Turn up to work with dried jizz all over your face. When the boss notices say it is a flare up of some horrible contagious skin complaint and get sent home immediately "

I hope you have a small face.

It would take me a week to produce enough to coat the back of your hand!

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
over a year ago

Central

Sauce extender. Add to any sauce, to make it stretch (not literally, as tests haven't been run on stretchiness) further.

Value range creamer replacement.

SAS/military emergency rations.

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By *TG3Man
over a year ago

Dorchester

A food additive, its full of protein so great for salads cos or rocket, mixed in with a soup it enhances the flovours

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By *ickshawed OP Couple
over a year ago

Wolverhampton

"A food additive, its full of protein so great for salads cos or rocket, mixed in with a soup it enhances the flovours

But would it need a best before date?

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By *bi HaiveMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Cheeseville, Somerset

Spunk is actually a really good tool for women who want their husbands to stop moaning about anything, watching sport when they said they'd do that DIY job that's been left for months, not helping with the housework or to encourage them to agree to any unnecessary shopping sprees for shoes or handbags.

Consuming a portion daily from source is guaranteed to make the man in your life a much happier, less stressed and generally much more amiable and agreeable person to live with.

This isn't just theory. It's 100% backed up by science. Honest....

*research conducted by 100 male married scientists.

**this may of course not be true, but surely it's worth a try ladies......

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By *ustABaldBeardedVikingMan
over a year ago

Hinckley

Lube for being pegged with.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Brucey's mum uses it as mouthwash

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By *ex HolesMan
over a year ago

Up North

Make a good mature cheese from it

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By *orthernguyXXXMan
over a year ago

ashington

Shaving gel

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