FabSwingers.com mobile

Already registered?
Login here

Back to forum list
Back to The Lounge

Forgive me for I have sinned

Jump to newest
 

By *amspoons OP   Man
over a year ago

North East

I am a mischief maker.

I just came back from someone's house to quote for a job I have since refused.

Horrible, grotty, disgusting man. Racist, bigoted, sexist, a total creep. Kept banging on about having a "smelly dirty P@k! as a PM" and going on about how women need to be kept in line and various other things that just made me think "urgh".

Anyway, before I left I emptied half a bottle of fairy liquid into his dishwasher and the other half into the drum of his washing machine.

Now I feel guilty. Ish.

I also, just before New Year, went to a drive through. I rarely get fast food, I dont like it but I was hungry. The queue was fucking HUGE, and getting bigger.

What I wanted to order they didnt have, and I dont know the menu by heart and they dont have a full menu up at the order point. So I took a little longer asking a couple of questions. The woman behind me in her white rangerover beeped her horn, gestured the "wanker" sign at me and mouthed "fucking hurry up" and was waving her arms and generally being a twat. So I panicked and ordered something I didnt want. But driving to the payment window I started to get annoyed. So when I paid for my order, I said I would pay for her order too. Drove to the collection window and she pipped her horn, waved, mouthed "thank you!". Told the guy at the window I was collecting both orders, took my order and hers, and drove off.

Also... When I am in a hotel I like stealing peoples "Do not disturb" signs from the door handles.

I am also the guy who likes to put loads of glitter inside birthday cards, christmas cards, letters to the bank... Also when I get junk mail from companies that include return envelopes for application forms or claim forms or whatever, they get cat food pouches, takeaway menus, bags from charity clothing collections that are always getting left, and whatever other rubbish I have knocking around.

Am I a bad person?

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Not a bad person, just an asshole.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If that's bad then don't ever be good.

Love it!

S x

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *partharmonyCouple
over a year ago

Ruislip

This is the kind of behaviour that escalates into doing things like invading Ukraine.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *wingin CatMan
over a year ago

London


"I just came back from someone's house to quote for a job I have since refused.

Horrible, grotty, disgusting man. Racist, bigoted, sexist, a total creep. Kept banging on about having a "smelly dirty P@k! as a PM" and going on about how women need to be kept in line and various other things that just made me think "urgh".

Anyway, before I left I emptied half a bottle of fairy liquid into his dishwasher and the other half into the drum of his washing machine.

"

Who cares? You get my full approval for this one!

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *amspoons OP   Man
over a year ago

North East


"Not a bad person, just an asshole. "

True dat

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ose-tinted GlassesMan
over a year ago

Glasgow / London


"I am also the guy who likes to put loads of glitter inside birthday cards … "

I was with you until this part. Nope. Turns out you’re an actual monster.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A real-life avenger! I like it!

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A former work colleague used to say - remember to use your ‘super powers’ for good.

Absolutely devious……… I love it!

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *amspoons OP   Man
over a year ago

North East

A few years ago I also was giving a mate a hand putting up a ceiling in his kitchen. I threw a smoke alarm with a fresh battery in it into the void between the plasterboard and joists of the room above (bathroom with a tiled floor).

A couple of years later, ceiling finished and plastered... The battery started to go flat.

"PIP"..."PIP"..."PIP"...

Then the battery went very flat.

"BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP!!!"

Smoke alarm batteries take a surprisingly long time to die.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ornycougaWoman
over a year ago

NORWAY Wherever I lay my hat

I don't know whether to be in awe of your imagination and execution of mischief, or to tell you that you need to let go of the simmering rage and get out more!

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I am a mischief maker.

I just came back from someone's house to quote for a job I have since refused.

Horrible, grotty, disgusting man. Racist, bigoted, sexist, a total creep. Kept banging on about having a "smelly dirty P@k! as a PM" and going on about how women need to be kept in line and various other things that just made me think "urgh".

Anyway, before I left I emptied half a bottle of fairy liquid into his dishwasher and the other half into the drum of his washing machine.

Now I feel guilty. Ish.

I also, just before New Year, went to a drive through. I rarely get fast food, I dont like it but I was hungry. The queue was fucking HUGE, and getting bigger.

What I wanted to order they didnt have, and I dont know the menu by heart and they dont have a full menu up at the order point. So I took a little longer asking a couple of questions. The woman behind me in her white rangerover beeped her horn, gestured the "wanker" sign at me and mouthed "fucking hurry up" and was waving her arms and generally being a twat. So I panicked and ordered something I didnt want. But driving to the payment window I started to get annoyed. So when I paid for my order, I said I would pay for her order too. Drove to the collection window and she pipped her horn, waved, mouthed "thank you!". Told the guy at the window I was collecting both orders, took my order and hers, and drove off.

Also... When I am in a hotel I like stealing peoples "Do not disturb" signs from the door handles.

I am also the guy who likes to put loads of glitter inside birthday cards, christmas cards, letters to the bank... Also when I get junk mail from companies that include return envelopes for application forms or claim forms or whatever, they get cat food pouches, takeaway menus, bags from charity clothing collections that are always getting left, and whatever other rubbish I have knocking around.

Am I a bad person? "

Legend

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"A few years ago I also was giving a mate a hand putting up a ceiling in his kitchen. I threw a smoke alarm with a fresh battery in it into the void between the plasterboard and joists of the room above (bathroom with a tiled floor).

A couple of years later, ceiling finished and plastered... The battery started to go flat.

"PIP"..."PIP"..."PIP"...

Then the battery went very flat.

"BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP!!!"

Smoke alarm batteries take a surprisingly long time to die. "

Who needs enemies...

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *TG3Man
over a year ago

Dorchester


"A few years ago I also was giving a mate a hand putting up a ceiling in his kitchen. I threw a smoke alarm with a fresh battery in it into the void between the plasterboard and joists of the room above (bathroom with a tiled floor).

A couple of years later, ceiling finished and plastered... The battery started to go flat.

"PIP"..."PIP"..."PIP"...

Then the battery went very flat.

"BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP!!!"

Smoke alarm batteries take a surprisingly long time to die. "

lol hey thats a very annoying sound

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *amspoons OP   Man
over a year ago

North East


"A few years ago I also was giving a mate a hand putting up a ceiling in his kitchen. I threw a smoke alarm with a fresh battery in it into the void between the plasterboard and joists of the room above (bathroom with a tiled floor).

A couple of years later, ceiling finished and plastered... The battery started to go flat.

"PIP"..."PIP"..."PIP"...

Then the battery went very flat.

"BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP!!!"

Smoke alarm batteries take a surprisingly long time to die. "

(He deserved it because he borrowed my car to do a tip run and put old gloss paint pots in the boot and they fell over and the lids came off. He tried to clean it but just ended up more evenly distributing the paint in the boot. I told him he replaces the boot liner, or I will get him back with something evil. He didnt replace the boot liner and didnt really seem to care)

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *amspoons OP   Man
over a year ago

North East


"I don't know whether to be in awe of your imagination and execution of mischief, or to tell you that you need to let go of the simmering rage and get out more! "

Maybe if a nice lady or couple would meet me and keep me out of trouble...

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *.L.0460.Woman
over a year ago

Bognor Regis


"I am a mischief maker.

I just came back from someone's house to quote for a job I have since refused.

Horrible, grotty, disgusting man. Racist, bigoted, sexist, a total creep. Kept banging on about having a "smelly dirty P@k! as a PM" and going on about how women need to be kept in line and various other things that just made me think "urgh".

Anyway, before I left I emptied half a bottle of fairy liquid into his dishwasher and the other half into the drum of his washing machine.

Now I feel guilty. Ish.

I also, just before New Year, went to a drive through. I rarely get fast food, I dont like it but I was hungry. The queue was fucking HUGE, and getting bigger.

What I wanted to order they didnt have, and I dont know the menu by heart and they dont have a full menu up at the order point. So I took a little longer asking a couple of questions. The woman behind me in her white rangerover beeped her horn, gestured the "wanker" sign at me and mouthed "fucking hurry up" and was waving her arms and generally being a twat. So I panicked and ordered something I didnt want. But driving to the payment window I started to get annoyed. So when I paid for my order, I said I would pay for her order too. Drove to the collection window and she pipped her horn, waved, mouthed "thank you!". Told the guy at the window I was collecting both orders, took my order and hers, and drove off.

Also... When I am in a hotel I like stealing peoples "Do not disturb" signs from the door handles.

I am also the guy who likes to put loads of glitter inside birthday cards, christmas cards, letters to the bank... Also when I get junk mail from companies that include return envelopes for application forms or claim forms or whatever, they get cat food pouches, takeaway menus, bags from charity clothing collections that are always getting left, and whatever other rubbish I have knocking around.

Am I a bad person? "

I've never heard of the washing up liquid thing, but the drive thru story has been floating around on the Internet for years, so I think maybe that happened in your head!

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *amspoons OP   Man
over a year ago

North East


"I am a mischief maker.

I just came back from someone's house to quote for a job I have since refused.

Horrible, grotty, disgusting man. Racist, bigoted, sexist, a total creep. Kept banging on about having a "smelly dirty P@k! as a PM" and going on about how women need to be kept in line and various other things that just made me think "urgh".

Anyway, before I left I emptied half a bottle of fairy liquid into his dishwasher and the other half into the drum of his washing machine.

Now I feel guilty. Ish.

I also, just before New Year, went to a drive through. I rarely get fast food, I dont like it but I was hungry. The queue was fucking HUGE, and getting bigger.

What I wanted to order they didnt have, and I dont know the menu by heart and they dont have a full menu up at the order point. So I took a little longer asking a couple of questions. The woman behind me in her white rangerover beeped her horn, gestured the "wanker" sign at me and mouthed "fucking hurry up" and was waving her arms and generally being a twat. So I panicked and ordered something I didnt want. But driving to the payment window I started to get annoyed. So when I paid for my order, I said I would pay for her order too. Drove to the collection window and she pipped her horn, waved, mouthed "thank you!". Told the guy at the window I was collecting both orders, took my order and hers, and drove off.

Also... When I am in a hotel I like stealing peoples "Do not disturb" signs from the door handles.

I am also the guy who likes to put loads of glitter inside birthday cards, christmas cards, letters to the bank... Also when I get junk mail from companies that include return envelopes for application forms or claim forms or whatever, they get cat food pouches, takeaway menus, bags from charity clothing collections that are always getting left, and whatever other rubbish I have knocking around.

Am I a bad person?

I've never heard of the washing up liquid thing, but the drive thru story has been floating around on the Internet for years, so I think maybe that happened in your head!"

I am quite sure every wind up ever done has happened before.

Washing up liquid in the washing machine. Go try it. Its lots of fun.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *imi_RougeWoman
over a year ago

Portsmouth

Great story bro

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *amspoons OP   Man
over a year ago

North East


"Great story bro "

Which one?

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ornycougaWoman
over a year ago

NORWAY Wherever I lay my hat


"I don't know whether to be in awe of your imagination and execution of mischief, or to tell you that you need to let go of the simmering rage and get out more!

Maybe if a nice lady or couple would meet me and keep me out of trouble..."

You may find this more of a challenge after this thread my dude. We'd be too worried that you would hide fish in the lining of the curtains or pour Baileys down the sink (blocks it apparently - it's all over the news)!

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *rHotNottsMan
over a year ago

Dubai & Nottingham

The first two probably are forgivable but not the last two.

Quite cowardly rarely. Why don’t you channel your energy into some kind of useful hacktivism, subversion or direct action etc against real baddies? I once emptied WH Smith’s as part of a child eyes campaign, I almost got arrested , the original plan was to burn the magazines but I’d been advised we could charged with arson. If your going. If your gonna be naughty & get in trouble make it worthwhile

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

Bad doesn't come to mind...

Passive aggressive

Cowardly

Destructive

Uncaring

Judgemental

Self Righteous

Virtue Signalling

Moral guardian of others morals...

Or maybe a fantasist out to make forum fun..

either way you didn't lessen the 'awful man's' ideas ..... you spread them here.

So maybe you are just bad.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

Forgot immature

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *amspoons OP   Man
over a year ago

North East


"Bad doesn't come to mind...

Passive aggressive

Cowardly

Destructive

Uncaring

Judgemental

Self Righteous

Virtue Signalling

Moral guardian of others morals...

Or maybe a fantasist out to make forum fun..

either way you didn't lessen the 'awful man's' ideas ..... you spread them here.

So maybe you are just bad.

"

Wow. you are fun. You can come to my birthday party.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *amspoons OP   Man
over a year ago

North East


"I don't know whether to be in awe of your imagination and execution of mischief, or to tell you that you need to let go of the simmering rage and get out more!

Maybe if a nice lady or couple would meet me and keep me out of trouble...

You may find this more of a challenge after this thread my dude. We'd be too worried that you would hide fish in the lining of the curtains or pour Baileys down the sink (blocks it apparently - it's all over the news)! "

Bailey's down the sink..??

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross


"Bad doesn't come to mind...

Passive aggressive

Cowardly

Destructive

Uncaring

Judgemental

Self Righteous

Virtue Signalling

Moral guardian of others morals...

Or maybe a fantasist out to make forum fun..

either way you didn't lessen the 'awful man's' ideas ..... you spread them here.

So maybe you are just bad.

Wow. you are fun. You can come to my birthday party. "

As if. I'll stick with the adults laughing boy

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ood time Chris BMan
over a year ago

TAUNTON AREA


"I am a mischief maker.

I just came back from someone's house to quote for a job I have since refused.

Horrible, grotty, disgusting man. Racist, bigoted, sexist, a total creep. Kept banging on about having a "smelly dirty P@k! as a PM" and going on about how women need to be kept in line and various other things that just made me think "urgh".

Anyway, before I left I emptied half a bottle of fairy liquid into his dishwasher and the other half into the drum of his washing machine.

Now I feel guilty. Ish.

I also, just before New Year, went to a drive through. I rarely get fast food, I dont like it but I was hungry. The queue was fucking HUGE, and getting bigger.

What I wanted to order they didnt have, and I dont know the menu by heart and they dont have a full menu up at the order point. So I took a little longer asking a couple of questions. The woman behind me in her white rangerover beeped her horn, gestured the "wanker" sign at me and mouthed "fucking hurry up" and was waving her arms and generally being a twat. So I panicked and ordered something I didnt want. But driving to the payment window I started to get annoyed. So when I paid for my order, I said I would pay for her order too. Drove to the collection window and she pipped her horn, waved, mouthed "thank you!". Told the guy at the window I was collecting both orders, took my order and hers, and drove off.

Also... When I am in a hotel I like stealing peoples "Do not disturb" signs from the door handles.

I am also the guy who likes to put loads of glitter inside birthday cards, christmas cards, letters to the bank... Also when I get junk mail from companies that include return envelopes for application forms or claim forms or whatever, they get cat food pouches, takeaway menus, bags from charity clothing collections that are always getting left, and whatever other rubbish I have knocking around.

Am I a bad person? "

You are my kind of person. I have done the same or similar things my self

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *amspoons OP   Man
over a year ago

North East


"Bad doesn't come to mind...

Passive aggressive

Cowardly

Destructive

Uncaring

Judgemental

Self Righteous

Virtue Signalling

Moral guardian of others morals...

Or maybe a fantasist out to make forum fun..

either way you didn't lessen the 'awful man's' ideas ..... you spread them here.

So maybe you are just bad.

Wow. you are fun. You can come to my birthday party.

As if. I'll stick with the adults laughing boy"

Probably for the best, mate.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod

over a year ago

East Sussex

Where was the awful, disgusting man while you were emptying washing up liquid into his dishwasher and washing machine?

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

That bit about the fast food order was hilarious!! It’s like having a lucky dip!

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross


"Bad doesn't come to mind...

Passive aggressive

Cowardly

Destructive

Uncaring

Judgemental

Self Righteous

Virtue Signalling

Moral guardian of others morals...

Or maybe a fantasist out to make forum fun..

either way you didn't lessen the 'awful man's' ideas ..... you spread them here.

So maybe you are just bad.

Wow. you are fun. You can come to my birthday party.

As if. I'll stick with the adults laughing boy

Probably for the best, mate. "

You're right buddy.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ackformore100Man
over a year ago

Tin town


"I am a mischief maker.

I just came back from someone's house to quote for a job I have since refused.

Horrible, grotty, disgusting man. Racist, bigoted, sexist, a total creep. Kept banging on about having a "smelly dirty P@k! as a PM" and going on about how women need to be kept in line and various other things that just made me think "urgh".

Anyway, before I left I emptied half a bottle of fairy liquid into his dishwasher and the other half into the drum of his washing machine.

Now I feel guilty. Ish.

I also, just before New Year, went to a drive through. I rarely get fast food, I dont like it but I was hungry. The queue was fucking HUGE, and getting bigger.

What I wanted to order they didnt have, and I dont know the menu by heart and they dont have a full menu up at the order point. So I took a little longer asking a couple of questions. The woman behind me in her white rangerover beeped her horn, gestured the "wanker" sign at me and mouthed "fucking hurry up" and was waving her arms and generally being a twat. So I panicked and ordered something I didnt want. But driving to the payment window I started to get annoyed. So when I paid for my order, I said I would pay for her order too. Drove to the collection window and she pipped her horn, waved, mouthed "thank you!". Told the guy at the window I was collecting both orders, took my order and hers, and drove off.

Also... When I am in a hotel I like stealing peoples "Do not disturb" signs from the door handles.

I am also the guy who likes to put loads of glitter inside birthday cards, christmas cards, letters to the bank... Also when I get junk mail from companies that include return envelopes for application forms or claim forms or whatever, they get cat food pouches, takeaway menus, bags from charity clothing collections that are always getting left, and whatever other rubbish I have knocking around.

Am I a bad person? "

Yes you are

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

He knows it, He knows it ....

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *amspoons OP   Man
over a year ago

North East


"Where was the awful, disgusting man while you were emptying washing up liquid into his dishwasher and washing machine?

"

He was in his living room ranting about whatever he was ranting about at the time.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod

over a year ago

East Sussex


"Where was the awful, disgusting man while you were emptying washing up liquid into his dishwasher and washing machine?

He was in his living room ranting about whatever he was ranting about at the time. "

I see.

You're not too concerned about your reputation as a professional or tradesman then?

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

And The Whole World Has To

Answer Right Now

Just To Tell You Once Again,

he's Bad . . .

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *amspoons OP   Man
over a year ago

North East


"Where was the awful, disgusting man while you were emptying washing up liquid into his dishwasher and washing machine?

He was in his living room ranting about whatever he was ranting about at the time.

I see.

You're not too concerned about your reputation as a professional or tradesman then?

"

Not in the least bit, no.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *aitonelMan
over a year ago

Travelling

You are the fist of retribution

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ackformore100Man
over a year ago

Tin town

So we celebrate bullying and vandalism now? Yay.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ervent_fervourMan
over a year ago

Halifax

Loved the post;some of the replies are even funnier.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You’re doing gods work. I once binned every single beach towel that people had put on the sun beds overnight. I still to this day feel no remorse.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ones actions is an indication of self, i know what I'd be looking at if I wanted to act out in petty vengeance I response, to somebody else's behaviour thats myself

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"You’re doing gods work. I once binned every single beach towel that people had put on the sun beds overnight. I still to this day feel no remorse."

Love this

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 
 

By *an4funMan
over a year ago

london


"I don't know whether to be in awe of your imagination and execution of mischief, or to tell you that you need to let go of the simmering rage and get out more!

Maybe if a nice lady or couple would meet me and keep me out of trouble...

You may find this more of a challenge after this thread my dude. We'd be too worried that you would hide fish in the lining of the curtains or pour Baileys down the sink (blocks it apparently - it's all over the news)! "

Also makes your cock fall off

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
Post new Message to Thread
back to top