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Do you give good first message?

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By *ools and the brain OP   Couple
over a year ago

couple, us we him her.

Mr here,

So generally speaking I'm pretty good at the dreaded old "first message" trying to find something in common with the recipient before sending a message rather than the random" hi how are you today "

To someone I/we don't know.

And with a reasonable amount of success I get a message back.

However what let's me down is the follow up messages, unless there's something specific to discuss I just draw a blank, much like talking on the phone which I hate doing.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

As a rule we find that if we get a reply to a message but it’s generic and doesn’t really leave anywhere to go EG: “thanks you look great” or “yes the forums are hilarious”….. Then they’re not really interested, are probably inundated with messages or we are going to have to do all the work which kills chemistry.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"As a rule we find that if we get a reply to a message but it’s generic and doesn’t really leave anywhere to go EG: “thanks you look great” or “yes the forums are hilarious”….. Then they’re not really interested, are probably inundated with messages or we are going to have to do all the work which kills chemistry. "

We find ourselves with that a lot. How do you respond to such a first message.

Typically get something like this;

"Hey guys, you look like a hot couple".

We really don't know what to say about that. They are stating the obvious and nothing that we already don't know.

We've probably put off a few because we respond to a generic message with a generic message and so the conversation dies. How can you put effort into a reply if there is none presented at first.

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By *bi HaiveMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Cheeseville, Somerset


"As a rule we find that if we get a reply to a message but it’s generic and doesn’t really leave anywhere to go EG: “thanks you look great” or “yes the forums are hilarious”….. Then they’re not really interested, are probably inundated with messages or we are going to have to do all the work which kills chemistry.

We find ourselves with that a lot. How do you respond to such a first message.

Typically get something like this;

"Hey guys, you look like a hot couple".

We really don't know what to say about that. They are stating the obvious and nothing that we already don't know.

We've probably put off a few because we respond to a generic message with a generic message and so the conversation dies. How can you put effort into a reply if there is none presented at first."

Whilst it's generally Fox that deals with messages (most get a straight delete) if I get there first or she's busy and I see one like that I generally reply with something along the lines of 'which one?'.

If someone gives me an opportunity to have a real conversation I'll take it.

If it's a statement, a cringy compliment or just a generic one line 'Hi, how are you' or worse still 'How are you finding the site?' (having been here 14 years that's a pretty daft question) - I'll reply back with the same minimal effort.

Few conversations continue from statements. Plenty do from a good witty opener or a question that's actually leading somewehere.

A

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Haha. Absolutely not. They are normaly short, a quick question or probably a childish joke. Sometimes I get a reply and it starts a small back and forth. Other times it’s a hard ignored. What can you do?

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By *hristopherd999Man
over a year ago

Brentwood

I'm terrible at it, need some help

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By *ddkkk91Man
over a year ago

fife

[Removed by poster at 10/01/23 15:25:09]

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By *ddkkk91Man
over a year ago

fife

I always try to read their bio and look at the pictures to personalise the first message.

Altough sometimes it is hard with no bio or one pic... still try to do best instead of generic ones.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think you've really highlighted where things go wrong! It's not always the first message, it's a few messages on where FAB fade occurs.

You wake up after an initial exchange the previous evening,to find a message they'd sent the night before. Continuity is lost, everyone's mojo has adjusted and worse still you can't recall what you were going to say.

Note to self...message 3 is where its at...which reminds me, I forgot to reply to someone yesterday

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By *etcplCouple
over a year ago

Gapping Fanny

Yes

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By *assie101Woman
over a year ago

Kent


"I always try to read their bio and look at the pictures to personalise the first message.

Altough sometimes it is hard with no bio or one pic... still try to do best instead of generic ones.

"

No bio and one or no pics = no reply

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Going by my inbox ..it would seem not

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