FabSwingers.com forum: Threads have got me thinking

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

After seeing some threads that cause divided opinion.

It got me thinking, as to how much do forumites use these, as a red flag or a way to gauge people...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Do I say the truth and tell all or do I gloss over the what really gose on here mmmmm

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By *an4funMan
over a year ago

london

"This thread has been a good filter" is often openly stated.

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By *ulieAndBeefCouple
over a year ago

Manchester-ish

Very much. You get a feel for people's sense of humour, empathy, compassion and fun.

Mrs

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By *izzy RascallMan
over a year ago

Cardiff

Not really for me, I don't even check if it was a Male, Female, TV or Couple that's expressed an opinion. I might check after ive read it or responded to

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By *mperiumMan
over a year ago

"After seeing some threads that cause divided opinion.

It got me thinking, as to how much do forumites use these, as a red flag or a way to gauge people...

As someone who posts threads & has no bio or interests displayed, I can say quite a few must gauge personas via the forum.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I always go by the rule of each their own. I do not have to agree with your opinion in order to like you as a person.

We're all not agreeable at everything we say. Agree to disagree and learn from other people rather than pointlessly try to embed your own beliefs and opinion on someone.

Some converse bluntly like we both do. Some sugar coat it and get offended by bluntness.

I don't like half the shit my partner says but I still love her.

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By *ittlebirdWoman
over a year ago

The Big Smoke

Yes

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A difference of opinion, even a Barney, not a red flag. People get shot down too quickly for having their own views I find.

To me the red flag is the 0 to 100 types who start ok then very quickly get angry and start attacking and insulting others.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Everyone is entitled to an opinion and voice whether we agree or not.

That being said, if someone's a dick it's clear to see. And the passive aggressive comments or unnecessary shots fired is clearly a personal attack not a thread opinion one.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm in no position to comment on a filter, as I've not really messaged anyone, and vice versa. I do like using the forum though. You get to see people's personalities in the forum

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By *ellinever70Woman
over a year ago

Ayrshire

""This thread has been a good filter" is often openly stated."

I use that as a filter for who's conceited enough to think the protagonist would want to chat to or meet them

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

""This thread has been a good filter" is often openly stated.

I use that as a filter for who's conceited enough to think the protagonist would want to chat to or meet them

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I always go by the rule of each their own. I do not have to agree with your opinion in order to like you as a person.

We're all not agreeable at everything we say. Agree to disagree and learn from other people rather than pointlessly try to embed your own beliefs and opinion on someone.

Some converse bluntly like we both do. Some sugar coat it and get offended by bluntness.

I don't like half the shit my partner says but I still love her.

There's a lot who sugar coat and pretend to be ever so sweet on Fab but spout shite offline.

I prefer people who say what they think.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I always go by the rule of each their own. I do not have to agree with your opinion in order to like you as a person.

We're all not agreeable at everything we say. Agree to disagree and learn from other people rather than pointlessly try to embed your own beliefs and opinion on someone.

Some converse bluntly like we both do. Some sugar coat it and get offended by bluntness.

I don't like half the shit my partner says but I still love her.

There's a lot who sugar coat and pretend to be ever so sweet on Fab but spout shite offline.

I prefer people who say what they think. "

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By *hrista BellendWoman
over a year ago

surrounded by twinkly lights

Yep

Love the private note function

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

""This thread has been a good filter" is often openly stated.

I use that as a filter for who's conceited enough to think the protagonist would want to chat to or meet them

Same as the block from those you've had zero interaction with.

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By *erces LetiferMan
over a year ago

Somewhere off the edge of the map... 'ere there be monsters

"Yep

Love the private note function

What is this private note function?

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By *ora the explorerWoman
over a year ago

Paradise, Herts

Definitely a way to gauge people. I never block but I sometimes use private notes

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By *ris GrayMan
over a year ago

Dorchester

"After seeing some threads that cause divided opinion.

It got me thinking, as to how much do forumites use these, as a red flag or a way to gauge people...

"
Does it matter forumites are a small proportion of the membership and the threads that turn to insults are too regular, just because the poster doesn't think before he posts but it will make no difference lol

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By *reyToTheFairiesWoman
over a year ago

Carlisle usually

"Definitely a way to gauge people. I never block but I sometimes use private notes "

Oh, ditto. I have various notes from the forums that have been very helpful when such people have messaged me and I'd forgotten about a glaring issue with compatibility.

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By *acavityMan
over a year ago

Redditch

"Yep

Love the private note function

What is this private note function?

A bonus for being a site member. When you are looking at someone else's profile, you can add a note that only you can see.

Most of my private notes are 'messaged, read, deleted' which reminds me to not try again, but unlike a block, let's them message me in the future (it's happened once)

Sometimes it might be a phone number or an address, so I can srr them again.

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By *erces LetiferMan
over a year ago

Somewhere off the edge of the map... 'ere there be monsters

"A bonus for being a site member. When you are looking at someone else's profile, you can add a note that only you can see."

Ah, okay. Yeah that sounds super useful.

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By *RANDMRSJAECouple
over a year ago

chester

Never blocked anyone just because of their forum posts.

I can tell who we’d get on with and who we wouldn’t though.

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By *issmorganWoman
over a year ago

Calderdale innit

Some threads do make me warm to people & others show me that someone wouldn't be my type of person.Either we have totally opposing views or they make me think they lack any empathy/concern for others.

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By *ittlebirdWoman
over a year ago

The Big Smoke

"Yep

Love the private note function

Me too! I have some very interesting notes

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By *ris GrayMan
over a year ago

Dorchester

"Yep

Love the private note function

Me too! I have some very interesting notes

"
omg you have notes about me

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By *ittlebirdWoman
over a year ago

The Big Smoke

"Yep

Love the private note function

Me too! I have some very interesting notes

omg you have notes about me

Yours just says…. (Deleted by poster as it’s private)

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By *ris GrayMan
over a year ago

Dorchester

"Yep

Love the private note function

Me too! I have some very interesting notes

omg you have notes about me

Yours just says…. (Deleted by poster as it’s private)

"
really omg

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By *ou only live onceMan
over a year ago

London

To gauge people? Or course. All of us are judged by our comments/Forum persona, surely.

I think I can tell who I'd be more likely to get on with in real life from their comments on the Forum, and therefore decide who I'd be more interested in meeting, socially or otherwise...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"After seeing some threads that cause divided opinion.

It got me thinking, as to how much do forumites use these, as a red flag or a way to gauge people...

Yep, especially when you see repeated patterns of behaviour through their posts.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"After seeing some threads that cause divided opinion.

It got me thinking, as to how much do forumites use these, as a red flag or a way to gauge people...

I certainly do. Everyones opinion is worth listening to. We don't always agree with each other, but I've noticed the way other people interact or how they disagree with some here most definitely is a red flag. The not so subtle snide remarks and put downs have definitely turned me off people. Those who give off an air of self imposed superiority and know alls. They are definitely ones I now avoid.

Having said that some on the forums have caught my attention, As their kindness and patience to new comers etc has been very nice to see.

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By *owestoft ManMan
over a year ago

Lowestoft

Personally I say it how it is lol Sad but True. But saying that I also tend to stay away from conflict so if I see something I dont like I ignore it and forget. I believe there are not two alike and for that reason, going on the population of the world lol, there are going to be very different and opposing views. Each to their own. But sometimes you will get blatant umm cant find the correct word here lol but in short Dumb comments. I once heard a person scold another for suggesting they kept their children from playing on the street. They said why and the answer is they might get knocked over. The person scorned back the drivers should be more careful lol. The answer is correct but you can see why I turned round and said "You Idiot" lol.

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By *stbury DavenportMan
over a year ago

Nottingham

Yep. The forums are a great way for people to out themselves. My block button gets quite a workout.

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By *an4funMan
over a year ago

london

""This thread has been a good filter" is often openly stated.

I use that as a filter for who's conceited enough to think the protagonist would want to chat to or meet them

Same as the block from those you've had zero interaction with."

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Yep. The forums are a great way for people to out themselves. My block button gets quite a workout. "

Absolutely. Keep that wally energy away

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By *oodmessMan
over a year ago

yumsville

From Scotland to Kent - yeah those filters are on max, no way I'm letting them within 400 miles.

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By *atnip make me purrWoman
over a year ago

Reading

Yes I block racists and transphobes.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Yep

Love the private note function

Me too! I have some very interesting notes

Does FOI work here?

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By *imi_RougeWoman
over a year ago

Portsmouth

They're often a great filter

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By *pider-WomanWoman
over a year ago

Exeter, Bristol, Plymouth, Truro

"Yep

Love the private note function

What is this private note function?

It's private

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By *ealitybitesMan
over a year ago

Belfast

Definitely a filter. Consistency is key on here and those who act one way in private and totally different in the forums are a major red flag.

I've seen people demonise and assassinate another forumites character in private and groupchats and then sympathise or act shocked on their behalf publicly.

Those same people are in a terrible quandary on facepic Friday because they aren't sure which of their faces they should share.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Definitely a filter. Consistency is key on here and those who act one way in private and totally different in the forums are a major red flag.

I've seen people demonise and assassinate another forumites character in private and groupchats and then sympathise or act shocked on their behalf publicly.

Those same people are in a terrible quandary on facepic Friday because they aren't sure which of their faces they should share. "

100%

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I feel like the forums are an amazing filter. You get to see someone on another level, and even if that level could be fake, it's still a good tool to filter out those you wouldn't really get along with. I've been surprised by a few people on here when I've read something they have posted.

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By *heVonMatterhornsCouple
over a year ago

Lincoln

It's excellent for getting to know a person's personality a bit better than you can from a profile. It's also especially good for adding people to block lists based on opinions and circumstances which might not be shared on their profiles

LvM

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By *inky_couple2020Couple
over a year ago

North West

"It's excellent for getting to know a person's personality a bit better than you can from a profile. It's also especially good for adding people to block lists based on opinions and circumstances which might not be shared on their profiles

LvM"

^^^Yep, pretty much this. Sometimes people come out and say obvious, overt things that make us filter out, but sometimes it's putting together the pieces over time, and realising that a person or people have views/opinions you do not share. Either way, yes, good filtration tools

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By *icolerobbieCouple
over a year ago

walsall

I never block because of forum posts. I just accept that we are all different and so be it.

Blocking someone you’d never likely to meet anyway makes you look like you’re having a childish tantrum.

I only ever block people who send abusive messages.

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