FabSwingers.com forum: This who are dating

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

And not via fab or other swinging sites ...

When do you mention...

Sexuality?

ENM?

Any past escapades ?

It doesn't quite feel like date one ... But also doesn't feel like it's a year in ....

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By *ellinever70Woman
over a year ago

Ayrshire

The only one that applies here is past sexual escapades.

I wouldn't feel a need to share much of that initially

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By *reyToTheFairiesWoman
over a year ago

Carlisle usually

Sexuality and ENM should be made clear before the first date. Past escapades depends on whether they want to know and how relevant they are to tell.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have a don’t tell don’t ask policy

What happened in the past is the past it’s none off my concern

All that concerns me in going forward

And I set this policy in place for both sakes

Ie I don’t want to know

And I really don’t think they want to know

As my check box could take days

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By *a LunaWoman
over a year ago

South Wales

"Sexuality and ENM should be made clear before the first date. Past escapades depends on whether they want to know and how relevant they are to tell."

This for me too.

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By *all Guy 00Man
over a year ago

Dumfries

"Sexuality and ENM should be made clear before the first date. Past escapades depends on whether they want to know and how relevant they are to tell."

What's a date lol

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By *lderflower_AppleWoman
over a year ago

Basingstoke

"Sexuality and ENM should be made clear before the first date. Past escapades depends on whether they want to know and how relevant they are to tell."

Completely agree. Saves so much wasted time and investment if it transpires the other party is horrified by the idea.

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By *agneto.Man
over a year ago

Bham

Same as Natalie, I don't give a shit what's happened in the past, I won't ask and I'm not going into it if they ask me.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My sexuality and past sex partners are none of their business. It's not relevant.

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By *acavityMan
over a year ago

Redditch

Honesty is the best policy, but I don't let my freak flags fly until probably the 3rd date, definitely before sex.

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By *old HoopsWoman
over a year ago

Near Chester

[Removed by poster at 02/01/23 20:29:05]

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By *old HoopsWoman
over a year ago

Near Chester

Sexuality and ENM definitely.

It would be pointless me going on a date with someone into ENM.

Anything else depends on how much of a dealbreaker it is for you.

I was talking a guy and mentioned I'm on Slimming World, he then told me he's a feeder and would be upset if I lost weight...

It's not gonna work.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Always upfront from the start. Any dating profiles state that I'm poly and in a relationship. Although I try to use sites and groups more geared toward that lifestyle in the first place.

Pxx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I tell people straight away, I always have

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Sexuality and ENM should be made clear before the first date. Past escapades depends on whether they want to know and how relevant they are to tell.

What's a date lol "

But also this

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By *riel13Woman
over a year ago

Northampton

If I ever started dating (I won't) then it would be first date... Don't see the point leaving it.

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By *ad NannaWoman
over a year ago

East London

I wouldn't feel the need to tell anyone my sexuality or past sex life.

If someone insists on knowing on the first date he wouldn't be for me.

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By *dam1971Man
over a year ago

Bedford

"Sexuality and ENM should be made clear before the first date. Past escapades depends on whether they want to know and how relevant they are to tell."

Exactly this. Past escapades can be difficult because it puts some people off.

I’m always a little vague about it because I don’t think it’s classy to go into detail about an intimate time with someone else.

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By *lephantisMan
over a year ago

Oxford

Sorry to be so ignorant, but...ENM?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Sorry to be so ignorant, but...ENM?"

Posh term for fucking around.

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By *ad NannaWoman
over a year ago

East London

"Sorry to be so ignorant, but...ENM?"

ethical non monogamy

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By *reyToTheFairiesWoman
over a year ago

Carlisle usually

"Sorry to be so ignorant, but...ENM?

Posh term for fucking around."

Ethical non monogamy.

Not necessarily just fucking around.

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By *ad NannaWoman
over a year ago

East London

"Sorry to be so ignorant, but...ENM?

ethical non monogamy "

I don't know why it's called ethical. Morally, society frowns upon us loose people

I'd call it a non-monogamous relationship.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It would be pointless for me to go on a date with someone who didn't understand polyam/enm dynamics and kink dynamics since I'm already in a few of them.

I've never NOT discussed this in messages before meeting someone and if I'm chatting to someone in person I feel might be a good fit, I will bring it up naturally during conversation.

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By *luttyLaylaWoman
over a year ago

North West

I tell men in the vanilla world I’ve attended clubs in the past after a few dates and state it’s nothing something I’d continue with a partner.

I appreciate some men wouldn’t like it and don’t want to continue to date and that’s okay but don’t think it should be hidden.

I’m not ENM so can’t comment on that. But it think if you want to continue with it as a lifestyle that’s more important and should be very upfront about, like first date.

I think someone sexual history is different to how they intend to continue their future x

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By *acavityMan
over a year ago

Redditch

"Sorry to be so ignorant, but...ENM?

ethical non monogamy

I don't know why it's called ethical. Morally, society frowns upon us loose people

I'd call it a non-monogamous relationship. "

Ethical in the sense that you are honest about having multiple partners, not cheating and hiding it.

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By *eliWoman
over a year ago

I've been thinking about this a lot lately. I'm going to approach it as thus; sexuality - only relevant if I'm on a date with a woman (first date sort of chat). I'm always open about being poly so that would be mentioned quite early on. I don't want to hide the fact I'm engaged to another or dating someone. It feels like a disservice to them and to those I'm in a relationship with. But details about sexual escapades? No. Very much no.

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By *rettyflamingoWoman
over a year ago

Where the flamboyance of flamingos live

I mention it on the very first date as I will not hide, lie or pretend to be anyone I’m not.

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By *jonesMan
over a year ago

Plymouth

"Sorry to be so ignorant, but...ENM?

ethical non monogamy "

Thank you , I was wondering as well

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By *jonesMan
over a year ago

Plymouth

I think it depends what you are looking for from the date going forward.If it's a vanilla date and you are hoping to introduce them to swinging it would be stringing them along if you didn't raise it early on. Past escapades arent really relevant. As regards sexuality I would be upfront from the start.

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By *imi_RougeWoman
over a year ago

Portsmouth

Sexuality and ENM straight away, should really be on your profile if I'm honest.

History... No one else's business, ever.

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