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A bag of spanners ( a verse for us fuglies)

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By *gent Coulson OP   Man
over a year ago

Secret hideaway in the pennines

I haven't published a verse in a while, so with that in mind, I give you my first poem of 2023

When you look like a bag of spanners

It's hard to get a shag

All you can look forward to is Pam, her five siblings,

And an old jizz stained rag

The headboard isn't banging

Against the bedroom wall

No screams or moans or do it again

To make you feel ten feet tall

The flogger is getting dusty

Hanging from it's rack

The crop, the cuffs and paddle,

Well, they've all got the sack

So ladies we beseech thee, out there in fab land

Spare thought for us fuglies,

Come and lend your hand,

Because when you look like a bag of spanners

It's hard to get a shag

Please save us from Pam and her siblings.

And that old jizz stained rag

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By *uyForeLadiesMan
over a year ago

Grantham

Classic, you should copyright it.

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By *gent Coulson OP   Man
over a year ago

Secret hideaway in the pennines


"Classic, you should copyright it. "
thank you kind sir, my words are public domain for all to enjoy and share

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By *bi HaiveMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Cheeseville, Somerset

When you look like a bag of spanners

It's hard to get a shag

Without that trusty sex aid

The good old Maccies bag

Just pop one on your noggin

Whilst she's noshing on your cock

And she'll never know that your face looks

Like it was hit by a giant breeze block

So if you're fugly there's always hope

Here's a tip I'd like to teach

If you're both humongous munters

Just wear a Maccies bag each

;-)

A

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By *izzy.Woman
over a year ago

Stoke area

I read your poem and thought it very witty.

I'm disadvantaged too 'cos I'm fat and not that pretty!

I cannot find a local man

to fulfill my naughty plan.

I'd love to have amazing sex,

but after being dumped my ex,

the vision remains in my head,

of being tied to a 4 poster bed.

So I'm looking for a fella to share new delights:

Take me for a pizza and a walk & I'll take you to club nights

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By *gent Coulson OP   Man
over a year ago

Secret hideaway in the pennines


"I read your poem and thought it very witty.

I'm disadvantaged too 'cos I'm fat and not that pretty!

I cannot find a local man

to fulfill my naughty plan.

I'd love to have amazing sex,

but after being dumped my ex,

the vision remains in my head,

of being tied to a 4 poster bed.

So I'm looking for a fella to share new delights:

Take me for a pizza and a walk & I'll take you to club nights "
whoever called you fat needs their head examining

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By *izzy.Woman
over a year ago

Stoke area


"I read your poem and thought it very witty.

I'm disadvantaged too 'cos I'm fat and not that pretty!

I cannot find a local man

to fulfill my naughty plan.

I'd love to have amazing sex,

but after being dumped my ex,

the vision remains in my head,

of being tied to a 4 poster bed.

So I'm looking for a fella to share new delights:

Take me for a pizza and a walk & I'll take you to club nights whoever called you fat needs their head examining "

It's usually the guys I turn down . I'm no skinny mini, but I'm heading back to the gym soon, once I get medical clearance

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By *gent Coulson OP   Man
over a year ago

Secret hideaway in the pennines


"I read your poem and thought it very witty.

I'm disadvantaged too 'cos I'm fat and not that pretty!

I cannot find a local man

to fulfill my naughty plan.

I'd love to have amazing sex,

but after being dumped my ex,

the vision remains in my head,

of being tied to a 4 poster bed.

So I'm looking for a fella to share new delights:

Take me for a pizza and a walk & I'll take you to club nights whoever called you fat needs their head examining

It's usually the guys I turn down . I'm no skinny mini, but I'm heading back to the gym soon, once I get medical clearance "
bruised egos can have some horrible comebacks, I don't understand why some can't accept a simple not interested

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I read your poem and thought it very witty.

I'm disadvantaged too 'cos I'm fat and not that pretty!

I cannot find a local man

to fulfill my naughty plan.

I'd love to have amazing sex,

but after being dumped my ex,

the vision remains in my head,

of being tied to a 4 poster bed.

So I'm looking for a fella to share new delights:

Take me for a pizza and a walk & I'll take you to club nights "

Pam Ayres is alive and well and living in Stoke..ish lol

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By *isaB45Woman
over a year ago

Fabville

A bag of spanners

May contain, hidden within,

A beautiful soul.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm fugly ...this is the thread for me

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 02/01/23 13:43:57]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

OP, are you really Pam Aryes using an alias??

I predict a future Poet Laureate awaits!!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Not much to look at

But I'm kind

I only do it

From behind.

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By *izzy.Woman
over a year ago

Stoke area


"I read your poem and thought it very witty.

I'm disadvantaged too 'cos I'm fat and not that pretty!

I cannot find a local man

to fulfill my naughty plan.

I'd love to have amazing sex,

but after being dumped my ex,

the vision remains in my head,

of being tied to a 4 poster bed.

So I'm looking for a fella to share new delights:

Take me for a pizza and a walk & I'll take you to club nights

Pam Ayres is alive and well and living in Stoke..ish lol "

I've been rumbled. Pam.

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By *gent Coulson OP   Man
over a year ago

Secret hideaway in the pennines


"A bag of spanners

May contain, hidden within,

A beautiful soul."
but who on here has time for a beautiful soul, or even time to investigate the possibility.

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By *uyForeLadiesMan
over a year ago

Grantham


"Take me for a pizza and a walk & I'll take you to club nights "

Just one question - does pineapple go on pizza or not?

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By *isaB45Woman
over a year ago

Fabville


"A bag of spanners

May contain, hidden within,

A beautiful soul. but who on here has time for a beautiful soul, or even time to investigate the possibility."

Make time.

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By *gent Coulson OP   Man
over a year ago

Secret hideaway in the pennines


"A bag of spanners

May contain, hidden within,

A beautiful soul. but who on here has time for a beautiful soul, or even time to investigate the possibility.

Make time. "
very few on here are willing to put that much effort in to it, believe my I know

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What does ugly mean

Is it an unwanted gene

Looks fade as one gets old

But humour lasts atleast that's what we are told

So embrace who you are

Because you really are someone's bright star

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