FabSwingers.com forum: Me... christmas and a tesco cheese salad... i just wanna cry.

By *ovingit2012 OP Man
over a year ago

Dudley

2nd christmas now and alone yet again... some once said to me that karma will get me and it sure has but how long is a karma thing go for? I admit i have been a rogue make some wrong choices but life beats me every step i take.

I just returned from a 186 mile drive to drop my sons presents off on his door step and run back to my car phyiscally shaking. Hes 4 and a half years old now, i love him so much and breaks my heart.... im shatterd. Last cristmas i saw him for 2 hours on boxing day.... i watched him open his presents while i kept my emotions to myself... the moment his mummy said i have to go, he grabbed my leg and said "daddy please dont go" he was crying his little heart out... that was the worst moment of my life, i will never forget that day. I got in my car and cried my eyes out. I couldnt put myself through that again, you may think im weak and maybe i am. I fort for my son yrs ago to no avail. Every thing was and still is stacked against me.

I have no family, i was raised by the state in a foster home my memories of a christmas are non exsistent.... a few presents courtsey of the tax payer and not a family moment... hug or emotional connection in sight.

So here i am sat in my room with a tesco cheese salad for my christmas lunch and a cheese cake for pudding. This is what life has handed me.... is this whats to come in my blighted life?

If i wrote a book about my life it could be a best seller... drawing on sadness and blight with a few glimmers of happyness followed by the usual darkness, im not a celeb so the book is doomed to the confines of my mind as with many other people who greet christmas with dread and wish it to be over.

I listened to the news today on my drive accross the country and heard about a car crash which involved the sad death of 3 children on a motorway... my heart goes out to the family involved as for them, christmas will never be the same again for that family and theres me talking about my sad exsistence. If i could i wish that was my car that crashed, swapping the sad death of the children for myself.

Maybe im looking at life through negative eyes.... maybe ive seen so many christmas,s That bring back unhappy memories... i dont know.... tomorrows a new day i have to plod through life and hope i may have a break.

Id love a family... family to look after me and me to look after them and thats the only thing i hang on to life for.

I wish every one here a merry christmas, god bless you all.... what a day i just wanna cry.....

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By *isscheekychopsWoman
over a year ago

The land of grey peas and bacon

I know it's difficult time of year for you....I have been pretty much down the road you are going down...I have finally come out of that place and you will to. I will say I have never met so many good friends than I have on fab...so stick with it. If I was at home I'd of invited you round for some turkey...keep smiling sweet cheeks... I know where you are and it will get easier and better...It's a new year soon and grab hold of it and make it the best one yet....xxxxx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Things always seem worse at Christmas, for some reason this time of year opens up lots of emotions for lots of people, we are sorry your spending Christmas by your self with out your son, that's got to be tough on you.

Not really sure what else to say, don't like seeing people feeling down at any time of year

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

hope you have a fantastic 2013...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If it helps mate, look at it this way: Your son has a got a Dad who loves him so much, he is prepared to drive 186 miles just to makes sure he has a Christmas present from him and gets to spend a couple of hours with him. There are LOADS of kids who don't even get that - mine included (even though they are 21 and 18) - for all sorts of reasons.

It's hard now, but as he gets older it will get easier to deal with, but it will always hurt - there is no getting away from that. It's not easy at all trying to see the few positives there are in life sometimes, but you have to - for your lads sake.

In the meantime, all we can do is offer our thoughts and understanding, and hope for you next year is better than this one...

and

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

hugs and truly hope 2013 is your year xxx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I truly sympathise with you….. But don’t look for reasons to fail….

Write the book,,,,,, if for no other reason than one day you'll be able to present it to your son to help him understand what shaped your life.....

Writing could help you find a new direction and maybe become the catalyst for change which you obviously need…….

Good luck...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

How about joining a club or volunteering for something to meet people , anything to distract you from the rotten luck you have had .

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By *he Original TTMan
over a year ago

Brackley, Northants

I read this and my heart went out to you. It is a hard time of year for singles anyway, and can be a low point. If it is any consolation, there are others on here in a similar position, and will be able to offer you help, friendship and support.

The forums are a great place to share and offload. Many have found true friendship and real support here.

Chip up mate, and stay as positive as you can. A new year will be upon us next week, and a lot can change.

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By *ardbellyCouple
over a year ago

Alicante

Sorry to hear your down, everything in life is relative?..you talked about that family that died in a car crash..so your life isn't that bad ?..at least tomorrow you can get out of bed and do something to change your life around, you won't find it on a swingers site ?..but lots of us are willing to help in anyway..why not do something really different and go down to a homeless shelter and give them a hand?.if you want to chat.pm me ?..good luck..Steve

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

it really does get better, i have 2 kids and now both prefer to come to me as there mum seems to go from b/f to b/f , my son now lives with me and my daughter now thinks her mum is a free loader , so dont give up ,in the end as long as you show love and never ever give up you will be the winner in there heart and yours, happy xmas im thinking of you and the road ahead

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By *exki11enWoman
over a year ago

Bristol

I feel for you, I really do but life can turn around - you just have to try hard.

16 years ago I was living on the streets, then went to being of "no fixed abode" for a year, beginning to get into petty crime to live. It wasn't the path I wanted to follow so I worked damned hard to change that.

16 years on, I have a great job, a wonderful husband and fantastic friends. Not everything in my life is perfect, but I shudder to think where I could have ended up if I hadn't been as strong as I was.

Think about what you want and go get it. You've had your wallow, now make an agreement with yourself that 2013 is the year that will change for you.

SK x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Your here on fab its a good place as you can get to know people and some will have been down the same road in life as you ,Its not just about sex here. In life theres ups and downs and i hope some how you can pick yourself up from this low and move on to getting things to how you would like them .. only you can do that. ((((BIG HUGS))) JO X

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

King's Crustacean

You have a room.

You have a cheese salad.

You have a cheesecake.

You have a computer.

You have a son.

Make your own karma ...... no one else does it for you.

Think where you want to move to and take steps to get there.

I don't believe that saying .. awwwww babe boo hoo and hugs - gets anyone anywhere.

Take control of what you can and don't fret about what you can't.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"You have a room.

You have a cheese salad.

You have a cheesecake.

You have a computer.

You have a son.

Make your own karma ...... no one else does it for you.

Think where you want to move to and take steps to get there.

I don't believe that saying .. awwwww babe boo hoo and hugs - gets anyone anywhere.

Take control of what you can and don't fret about what you can't. "

Good advice.

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By *riskynriskyCouple
over a year ago

Essex.

"I truly sympathise with you….. But don’t look for reasons to fail….

Write the book,,,,,, if for no other reason than one day you'll be able to present it to your son to help him understand what shaped your life.....

Writing could help you find a new direction and maybe become the catalyst for change which you obviously need…….

Good luck...

Great advice, as is the the advice saying grab 2013 by the balls and showing it who's boss.

Try some thing different, I had a friend join a singles walking club, someone else met someone through the lonely hearts adds in the paper, do an evening class, get part time job in a bar... There are so many ways to make new friends and meet single women...

Or really go for it and do something really wild and do a sponsored walk to the north pole something that will fill yourself with pride.... I know I'm rambling on a bit but sometimes you've got to think outside the box.... If you want anymore crazy ideas or just to talk I'm at work so can reply to pms....

Good luck and keep your chin up....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"You have a room.

You have a cheese salad.

You have a cheesecake.

You have a computer.

You have a son.

Make your own karma ...... no one else does it for you.

Think where you want to move to and take steps to get there.

I don't believe that saying .. awwwww babe boo hoo and hugs - gets anyone anywhere.

Take control of what you can and don't fret about what you can't. "

What she said.

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By *eryBigGirlWoman
over a year ago

East Yorkshire

I agree with what someone above said - write that book if nothing else for the memories of how you fought for your son. Your own memories of Christmas are sketchy so think about preserving his Christmas memories of you.

I work with looked after children and understand the importance of memories of which clearly no one kept any memory box for whilst in foster care.

Think positive and keep going for the sake of your son and I truly hope things improve for you xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Hey mate I know exactly where your coming from and you are not weak I lost contact with my 2 eldest boys for 8 long years I have got them back in my life but it's been a struggle. I have a 4 year old boy with another partner now ex but my relationship with his mother is totally different.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A healthy mix of sugar coated sympathy and a stiff dose of reality is what you've been given here so I won't add another spoonful. What you also need is sound legal advice about access to your boy. It's clear he loves you so you can't be an ogre. Why is his mother playing hardball with you? Is there a court order in place preventing you from having him overnight or for longer?

Remember this: if you write the word 'doormat' on your forehead, don't be surprised when people wipe their feet on you.

Merry Christmas, it's just one day, but one day, you will change how you spend it.

Wishy.

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By *riskynriskyCouple
over a year ago

Essex.

"I agree with what someone above said - write that book if nothing else for the memories of how you fought for your son. Your own memories of Christmas are sketchy so think about preserving his Christmas memories of you.

I work with looked after children and understand the importance of memories of which clearly no one kept any memory box for whilst in foster care.

Think positive and keep going for the sake of your son and I truly hope things improve for you xx"

The memory box is agreat idea. Keep things like news papers from his birthdays, things that remind you of him, ask for copies of school reports and things like that to show him one day that you followed him even if it was from a distance. I don't know how you get on with your ex but maybe she will be understanding....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Keeping your nose clean will help matters too...

if you catch my drift

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I truly sympathise with you….. But don’t look for reasons to fail….

Write the book,,,,,, if for no other reason than one day you'll be able to present it to your son to help him understand what shaped your life.....

Writing could help you find a new direction and maybe become the catalyst for change which you obviously need…….

Good luck...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Take control of what you can and don't fret about what you can't. "

Couldn't agree more, Granny.

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By *ogistical NightmaresCouple
over a year ago

Manchester Area

If you are in the right then no bloke deserves to have access to his kids blocked by some bitch. You have driven best part of 200 miles to drop presents off, I know people who wouldnt go 200 yards.

If her and her latest fuckpiece wanna play silly buggers, then let them bring it on, you are the kids dad not him, fight for your rights

This post may be a tad strong for some people but.... hey ho I dont really give one... bin there and got the tshirt and come out with the full suit eventually

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"If you are in the right then no bloke deserves to have access to his kids blocked by some bitch. You have driven best part of 200 miles to drop presents off, I know people who wouldnt go 200 yards.

If her and her latest fuckpiece wanna play silly buggers, then let them bring it on, you are the kids dad not him, fight for your rights

This post may be a tad strong for some people but.... hey ho I dont really give one... bin there and got the tshirt and come out with the full suit eventually "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

This too will pass. XX

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By *inkershoes69Woman
over a year ago

maidstone

"If you are in the right then no bloke deserves to have access to his kids blocked by some bitch. You have driven best part of 200 miles to drop presents off, I know people who wouldnt go 200 yards.

If her and her latest fuckpiece wanna play silly buggers, then let them bring it on, you are the kids dad not him, fight for your rights

This post may be a tad strong for some people but.... hey ho I dont really give one... bin there and got the tshirt and come out with the full suit eventually "

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

King's Crustacean

"If you are in the right then no bloke deserves to have access to his kids blocked by some bitch. You have driven best part of 200 miles to drop presents off, I know people who wouldnt go 200 yards.

If her and her latest fuckpiece wanna play silly buggers, then let them bring it on, you are the kids dad not him, fight for your rights

This post may be a tad strong for some people but.... hey ho I dont really give one... bin there and got the tshirt and come out with the full suit eventually "

Why is there not a thumbs DOWN emoticon?

What bitch is blocking access?

What latest fuckpiece ?

You seem to be applying your own circumstances to someone elses problem.

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By *empting Devil.Woman
over a year ago

Sheffield

At no point did the OP mention if his ex had a boyfriend.

Nor did he badmouth or denigrate his ex.

So yes, I find your post strong.

OP you are obviously caring and trying to build a life even though you didn't have the foundation to build on that many other have. As others have said maintain contact with your son and keep up the fight to get access.

As for the tragedy of your situation, you can move onwards and upwards. You are more than simply the product of your childhood. You have a clear knowledge of what you don't want to be which can be a powerful motivator.

And try to keep your thoughts and words fair in regard to your ex. Even if she deserves to be called all the names under the sun, no child will ever forgive the person who called his mother, his mummy, names.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"If you are in the right then no bloke deserves to have access to his kids blocked by some bitch. You have driven best part of 200 miles to drop presents off, I know people who wouldnt go 200 yards.

If her and her latest fuckpiece wanna play silly buggers, then let them bring it on, you are the kids dad not him, fight for your rights

This post may be a tad strong for some people but.... hey ho I dont really give one... bin there and got the tshirt and come out with the full suit eventually

Why is there not a thumbs DOWN emoticon?

What bitch is blocking access?

What latest fuckpiece ?

You seem to be applying your own circumstances to someone elses problem. "

I know several people who have problems gaining access to their kids because their exes are complete bitches about it, and in some cases, with the assistance of their latest boyfriend, so the OP isn't alone with his problem, nor is the person who posted what you commented on Granny.

Some mothers try and defy a court order by claiming the child/ren are unwell when their dad arrives at the specified time to collect them, and it can take months of this happening before it's sorted out but eventually even a courtroom judge will not accept a woman breaking a court order and she'll find herself in contempt of court if she persists. It's a battle that's loaded in the mother's favour unfortunately but if a dad persues his rights he will get justice eventually.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"If you are in the right then no bloke deserves to have access to his kids blocked by some bitch. You have driven best part of 200 miles to drop presents off, I know people who wouldnt go 200 yards.

If her and her latest fuckpiece wanna play silly buggers, then let them bring it on, you are the kids dad not him, fight for your rights

This post may be a tad strong for some people but.... hey ho I dont really give one... bin there and got the tshirt and come out with the full suit eventually

Why is there not a thumbs DOWN emoticon?

What bitch is blocking access?

What latest fuckpiece ?

You seem to be applying your own circumstances to someone elses problem. "

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

King's Crustacean

"If you are in the right then no bloke deserves to have access to his kids blocked by some bitch. You have driven best part of 200 miles to drop presents off, I know people who wouldnt go 200 yards.

If her and her latest fuckpiece wanna play silly buggers, then let them bring it on, you are the kids dad not him, fight for your rights

This post may be a tad strong for some people but.... hey ho I dont really give one... bin there and got the tshirt and come out with the full suit eventually

Why is there not a thumbs DOWN emoticon?

What bitch is blocking access?

What latest fuckpiece ?

You seem to be applying your own circumstances to someone elses problem.

Since when did you stop thinking straight Wishy ?

Nothing you've said gives weight to the complete fabrication of a 'bitch' some 'access blocking' and a 'fuckpiece' ...

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By *he-Hosiery-GentMan
over a year ago

Older Hot Bearded Guy

"2nd christmas now and alone yet again... some once said to me that karma will get me and it sure has but how long is a karma thing go for? I admit i have been a rogue make some wrong choices but life beats me every step i take.

So here i am sat in my room with a tesco cheese salad for my christmas lunch and a cheese cake for pudding. This is what life has handed me.... is this whats to come in my blighted life?

Id love a family... family to look after me and me to look after them and thats the only thing i hang on to life for.

I wish every one here a merry christmas, god bless you all.... what a day i just wanna cry....."

Feel for you, mate...

I hope things get better in 2013.

If it's any consolation, I've spent today on my own, too.

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By *andS66Couple
over a year ago

Derby

"Keeping your nose clean will help matters too...

if you catch my drift"

Agree totally...stuffing shit up your nose is not good for you, nor is it a good example for your boy.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

To the Op I hope things improve in the coming year. We don't know or need to know all the ciscumstances as its your business but hopefully you will gain some understanding with the ex for the good of your child.

To those who have drempt up circumstances you really should keep your imagination in check as it just makes you look foolish. For one day in the year it does no harm to pffer a little sympathy.

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By *oulou45Woman
over a year ago

Bucks

Sorry your having a bad time plenty of us on here will listen. Write your book you may find that helps. My parents used to foster teens that nobody wanted so we know first hand some of the places they stayed I'm glad to say with my family they thrived have you thought of maybe doing some voulentry work? Also much respect to you for the drive you did for your son. I really hope 2013 is a good year for you x

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By *nnie2009Couple
over a year ago

Blackpool

sending hugs and best wishes, hang on in there and im sure 2013 will be better x

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By *pl- capdagdeCouple
over a year ago

Cap d agde,France

"Keeping your nose clean will help matters too...

if you catch my drift

Agree totally...stuffing shit up your nose is not good for you, nor is it a good example for your boy."

I think you'll find when keeping your nose clean was mentioned it was more do do with keeping out of trouble as oppossed to snorting cocaine..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Keeping your nose clean will help matters too...

if you catch my drift

Agree totally...stuffing shit up your nose is not good for you, nor is it a good example for your boy."

Where has the op mention that he stuffs things up his nose?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Christmas is a shitty time for someone in your position... but please don't think about doing anything "permanent"

Your son needs a Dad.. even more now as he's getting older... look on the visits, no matter how painful and short, as being something positive... lots of guys in your position don't give a shit... you are a bloody good person.. no matter what mistakes you made in the past..

If you don't want to be alone on Xmas day there are hundreds of voulantary organisations who would love you to help them during Xmas day... food centers, homeless shelters, the Sally army etc etc...

You'd be surprised how helping those less fortunate than yourself makes you feel so good...

I won't wish you a Happy Christmas, but I will wish you a fantastic busy and happy new year..

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

"Keeping your nose clean will help matters too...

if you catch my drift

Agree totally...stuffing shit up your nose is not good for you, nor is it a good example for your boy.

Where has the op mention that he stuffs things up his nose? "

I looked about 5 times and thought the same.. On another thread tho.

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By *leasureDomeMan
over a year ago

all over the place

"If you are in the right then no bloke deserves to have access to his kids blocked by some bitch. You have driven best part of 200 miles to drop presents off, I know people who wouldnt go 200 yards.

If her and her latest fuckpiece wanna play silly buggers, then let them bring it on, you are the kids dad not him, fight for your rights

This post may be a tad strong for some people but.... hey ho I dont really give one... bin there and got the tshirt and come out with the full suit eventually

Why is there not a thumbs DOWN emoticon?

What bitch is blocking access?

What latest fuckpiece ?

You seem to be applying your own circumstances to someone elses problem.

Yep got to agree with Wishy here ,if you are a person of good standing the days when you can be prevented from seeing your son on a regular basis are almost gone as the courts believe in joint parenting now, you have rights to see your child on a regular basis without his mother controlling the amount of time you have,it is however normally agreed between you both.

I think you should perhaps enter 2013 getting some legal advice on how to remedy that situation.

As others have said. in my opinion its time to take control of your life in areas where you can.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

To the Op I hope things improve in the coming year. We don't know or need to know all the circumstances as its your business but hopefully you will gain some understanding with the ex for the good of your child.

To those who have dreamt up circumstances you really should keep your imagination in check as it just makes you look foolish. For one day in the year it does no harm to offer a little sympathy.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Your thread title had me glossing over such an honest account of your Christmas,i mean i never clicked on it for hours, when i did and read.

Makes me gratefull for the day i have just enjoyed,yet fully aware such days wont last forever.

In this fast fun, hook up or block ignore site, be assured you've explained it so well, so many genuinely appreciate what you've just conveyed,and thats a bit special on here, write the book!

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By *he-Hosiery-GentMan
over a year ago

Older Hot Bearded Guy

"To the Op I hope things improve in the coming year. We don't know or need to know all the circumstances as its your business but hopefully you will gain some understanding with the ex for the good of your child.

To those who have dreamt up circumstances you really should keep your imagination in check as it just makes you look foolish. For one day in the year it does no harm to offer a little sympathy.

Quite. Sometimes just listening and displaying empathy as well as sympathy to someone's plight, can go a long way.

We're all so quick to judge. We shouldn't. Each situation and its circumstances are unique.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"If you are in the right then no bloke deserves to have access to his kids blocked by some bitch. You have driven best part of 200 miles to drop presents off, I know people who wouldnt go 200 yards.

If her and her latest fuckpiece wanna play silly buggers, then let them bring it on, you are the kids dad not him, fight for your rights

This post may be a tad strong for some people but.... hey ho I dont really give one... bin there and got the tshirt and come out with the full suit eventually

Why is there not a thumbs DOWN emoticon?

What bitch is blocking access?

What latest fuckpiece ?

You seem to be applying your own circumstances to someone elses problem.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"If you are in the right then no bloke deserves to have access to his kids blocked by some bitch. You have driven best part of 200 miles to drop presents off, I know people who wouldnt go 200 yards.

If her and her latest fuckpiece wanna play silly buggers, then let them bring it on, you are the kids dad not him, fight for your rights

This post may be a tad strong for some people but.... hey ho I dont really give one... bin there and got the tshirt and come out with the full suit eventually

Why is there not a thumbs DOWN emoticon?

What bitch is blocking access?

What latest fuckpiece ?

You seem to be applying your own circumstances to someone elses problem.

I think you should perhaps enter 2013 getting some legal advice on how to remedy that situation.

As others have said. in my opinion its time to take control of your life in areas where you can."
both you and wishy are so far off the beaten track its unreal

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I read this and my heart went out to you. It is a hard time of year for singles "

I dont think thats the gist of it.

He is forcibly separated from his son by the kids mother, even at Christmas.

Thats harder than being single, which in itself makes it difficult as he has nobody to help him cope with it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Im going threw the exact same thing.. Been in bed all day.. Havnt moved.. Thank fuck its over..

Chin up mate your not alone..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Hope OP manages to get something sorted.

I know how hard it is to be seperated from your kid, it's difficult.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"Keeping your nose clean will help matters too...

if you catch my drift

Agree totally...stuffing shit up your nose is not good for you, nor is it a good example for your boy.

Where has the op mention that he stuffs things up his nose? "

He mentioned that beer and Charlie would get him through in another section of the forums I think.

I hope things improve and this time next year finds you in a better place. Beer and Charlie are no substitute and won't solve anything I can sort of understand but not condone.

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By *athfindersCouple
over a year ago

Hull

If I was living over 100 miles from my child I would most definitely want to change that!

I am unaware of your situation but I feel the most important thing to change would be my proximity to my son. Getting to see your child would be the most importabt thing on my agenda for 2013. Nothing else matters!!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You said that you had fought for your son, but to no avail?

Without going into the history I wouldn't be able to give detailed advice but I just want you to know that:

1. If you have parental responsibility for your son then you have the same rights as your ex for your child.

2. Have you tried a contact order?

3. Have you tried a residency order? If the trip is huge then its possible he could live with you part of the time?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Keeping your nose clean will help matters too...

if you catch my drift

Agree totally...stuffing shit up your nose is not good for you, nor is it a good example for your boy.

Where has the op mention that he stuffs things up his nose?

He mentioned that beer and Charlie would get him through in another section of the forums I think.

I hope things improve and this time next year finds you in a better place. Beer and Charlie are no substitute and won't solve anything I can sort of understand but not condone."

Time sorts so many things on here,,,i have read the "why cant i get any meets" threads and gone on to read the swingingly worldly wise, "woo im having the best time ever" threads from the same author.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 26/12/12 03:10:55]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

To be fair, tesco do a lovely cheese sald?

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By *andS66Couple
over a year ago

Derby

"Keeping your nose clean will help matters too...

if you catch my drift

Agree totally...stuffing shit up your nose is not good for you, nor is it a good example for your boy.

Where has the op mention that he stuffs things up his nose? "

Look up 'Christmas for 1' in the introductions section....he says 'plenty of beer and ' will see him through the day.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Getting chinged up on Charlie ain't going to help the situation just make it worse!!!

Why would someone let play parent if your acting like a fool!!!!!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"If you are in the right then no bloke deserves to have access to his kids blocked by some bitch. You have driven best part of 200 miles to drop presents off, I know people who wouldnt go 200 yards.

If her and her latest fuckpiece wanna play silly buggers, then let them bring it on, you are the kids dad not him, fight for your rights

This post may be a tad strong for some people but.... hey ho I dont really give one... bin there and got the tshirt and come out with the full suit eventually

Why is there not a thumbs DOWN emoticon?

What bitch is blocking access?

What latest fuckpiece ?

You seem to be applying your own circumstances to someone elses problem.

I think you should perhaps enter 2013 getting some legal advice on how to remedy that situation.

As others have said. in my opinion its time to take control of your life in areas where you can.both you and wishy are so far off the beaten track its unreal"

What PD and I have said applies generally to many fathers that don't see their kids. What we couldn't have known about the OP is his seemingly frequent use of drugs. The mother of his child would be acutely aware of it though, and there is no way she could allow him to go with his dad unsupervised. I don't think the OP has given us all thw information here, not that he's obliged to, but when one is looking for sympathy it does well not to bite the hands that feed you.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"If you are in the right then no bloke deserves to have access to his kids blocked by some bitch. You have driven best part of 200 miles to drop presents off, I know people who wouldnt go 200 yards.

If her and her latest fuckpiece wanna play silly buggers, then let them bring it on, you are the kids dad not him, fight for your rights

This post may be a tad strong for some people but.... hey ho I dont really give one... bin there and got the tshirt and come out with the full suit eventually

Why is there not a thumbs DOWN emoticon?

What bitch is blocking access?

What latest fuckpiece ?

You seem to be applying your own circumstances to someone elses problem.

I think you should perhaps enter 2013 getting some legal advice on how to remedy that situation.

As others have said. in my opinion its time to take control of your life in areas where you can.both you and wishy are so far off the beaten track its unreal

It's not just mothers that block access, my daughters father refuses to see her or pay maintenance. Have done the CSA, he claimed self employment and said doesn't earn enough, CSA agreed. Never had a penny from him in nearly 14 years.

Back on subject, unfair to slate the OP ex, their could be reasons access to the son is limited, and the drug use could be that reason.

If that's the case, the OP needs to sort his life out first before trying to go through courts to get better access.

I feel sorry that the OP was alone yesterday, as Xmas day is not a good day to be alone. Maybe he can work on his weaknesses to make himself a stronger better person for next Christmas, who knows, he may have his son by then

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 26/12/12 09:40:24]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"It's not just mothers that block access, my daughters father refuses to see her or pay maintenance. Have done the CSA, he claimed self employment and said doesn't earn enough, CSA agreed. Never had a penny from him in nearly 14 years.

Back on subject, unfair to slate the OP ex, their could be reasons access to the son is limited, and the drug use could be that reason.

If that's the case, the OP needs to sort his life out first before trying to go through courts to get better access.

In this instance it's not about fathers who refuse to pay for their children (although inability to pay does NOT mean a court will refuse access, they are separate issues). There are a myriad of reasons why children don't have contact with one parent of the other, but what we're discussing here is one father who was alone on Xmas day and his self pity kicked in. If he really doesn't want to feel like this next Christmas then he has to make sorting his life out his No.1. priority, and that means kicking the drugs into touch and demonstrating that he's capable of looking after his son adequately. I suspect that his ex knows what he can or cannot do and it may take more than a year for him to win her over. The ball is in his court and it's up to him to either pick it up and run with it or stay where he is and do nothing.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

p.s. although reading the OP again he states that this was his SECOND Christmas in this situation, so it's plainly evident he hadn't learned anything from last Christmas so I won't hold out too much hope for next Christmas and we'll probably see another Xmas Day pity-post next year.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Back on subject, unfair to slate the OP ex, their could be reasons access to the son is limited, and the drug use could be that reason.

If that's the case, the OP needs to sort his life out first before trying to go through courts to get better access.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I really feel for you ((((((hugs))))))

Just remember that your little one has a daddy that loves him to bits and he knows that xxx

It's a shame that all the people that are going to be on their own mas day couldn't of done a social.

There was a thread not long ago where so many people were posting saying they weren't looking forward to it as they were going to be on their on x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"If you are in the right then no bloke deserves to have access to his kids blocked by some bitch. You have driven best part of 200 miles to drop presents off, I know people who wouldnt go 200 yards.

If her and her latest fuckpiece wanna play silly buggers, then let them bring it on, you are the kids dad not him, fight for your rights

This post may be a tad strong for some people but.... hey ho I dont really give one... bin there and got the tshirt and come out with the full suit eventually

Why is there not a thumbs DOWN emoticon?

What bitch is blocking access?

What latest fuckpiece ?

You seem to be applying your own circumstances to someone elses problem.

Unfortunately not every time I have a very good friend who has been to court 15 times fighting to see his children and even been to the court of appeal in London I went with him (what a building) and it looks like the legal system in his area are very anti dads but I hope that's not the case all over the country

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

King's Crustacean

"To be fair, tesco do a lovely cheese sald?

By FAR the most informed post on the thread.

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

Im sorry to here about your plight, christmas always makes things appear worse. Take one problem at a time, fight for access to your son. Also you could of done something over christmas to help those less fortunate, you didt have to have a cheese salad, you could of got yourself something nice for a treat. I know i sound harsh but there is people lots worse of than you. I truelly feel sorry about your son but the rest you need to give yourself a good kick up the backside and decide to turn things around in the new year.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"To be fair, tesco do a lovely cheese sald?

I prefer Lidl’s

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

King's Crustacean

"To be fair, tesco do a lovely cheese sald?

I prefer Lidl’s

They do a FAB lasagne for two and I always go there for my leiberschitzwiggenfraubiks...... ( those german ginger hearts with the jam in the middle or iced.....sooooo fab at Xmas )

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"To be fair, tesco do a lovely cheese sald?

I prefer Lidl’s

They do a FAB lasagne for two and I always go there for my leiberschitzwiggenfraubiks...... ( those german ginger hearts with the jam in the middle or iced.....sooooo fab at Xmas ) "

Oiu yes Gwanny....sounds dee-lish

Their chocolate marzipan logs are flipp’in awesome and their large jars of green olives are spectacularly good value too……

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"To be fair, tesco do a lovely cheese sald?

I prefer Lidl’s

They do a FAB lasagne for two and I always go there for my leiberschitzwiggenfraubiks...... ( those german ginger hearts with the jam in the middle or iced.....sooooo fab at Xmas )

Oiu yes Gwanny....sounds dee-lish

Their chocolate marzipan logs are flipp’in awesome and their large jars of green olives are spectacularly good value too……

BLEEEEURGH!! Marzipan is minging! Proper minging!

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

I read that you didn't have the greatest start in life, done some wrong and took some ....

I also read you drove a long way to give your loved one a Christmas gift, you recognised your past and seem to be striving to do good in life...

I for one wish you all the best, continue to do the right thing, take much of the great advice on here about doing things legally.... and one day, it will work out for you and your boy.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"To be fair, tesco do a lovely cheese sald?

I prefer Lidl’s

They do a FAB lasagne for two and I always go there for my leiberschitzwiggenfraubiks...... ( those german ginger hearts with the jam in the middle or iced.....sooooo fab at Xmas )

Oiu yes Gwanny....sounds dee-lish

Their chocolate marzipan logs are flipp’in awesome and their large jars of green olives are spectacularly good value too……

BLEEEEURGH!! Marzipan is minging! Proper minging!

Wishy I’m shocked…… you being a champion of all thing christmassy I would have thought you’d be addicted to the stuff…….

Sheeeeeezzzz just goes to show you can’t always tell a book by the cover…

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"To be fair, tesco do a lovely cheese sald?

I prefer Lidl’s

They do a FAB lasagne for two and I always go there for my leiberschitzwiggenfraubiks...... ( those german ginger hearts with the jam in the middle or iced.....sooooo fab at Xmas )

Oiu yes Gwanny....sounds dee-lish

Their chocolate marzipan logs are flipp’in awesome and their large jars of green olives are spectacularly good value too……

BLEEEEURGH!! Marzipan is minging! Proper minging!

Wishy I’m shocked…… you being a champion of all thing christmassy I would have thought you’d be addicted to the stuff…….

Sheeeeeezzzz just goes to show you can’t always tell a book by the cover…

Marzipan is a substance that somehow managed to cross over from an alternate universe where it IS a quintesessentially Christmas thing, but in THIS universe it is congealed devils sperm rolled out flat and sent to bakeries everywhere to attach itself to a perfectly good cake and make one feel like vomiting.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Life can be a bich , and life can be great,. Things don't happern by chance they change. Take a long look at your life. Then think were you won't to be next Christmas . Then change. Only you can be the man you won't to be. No more feeling sorry for your self. No more crying. Take life by the balls, go out there and change it. Good luck. Xxx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 26/12/12 10:56:48]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

4 weeks ago fabio put a thread on called spending Xmas alone the OP stated the following

This will be my first christmas alone.. not looking forward to it one little bit. No parents or family the thought of christmas looming fills me with dread but hey ho treat it as a lazy sunday and spend it in bed.

no menshion of a child here infact here is says no family at all thanks to my ex i dont see my children anymore but they are still my family

this is just another winging post

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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

OP - feeling lonely at Christmas can make it feel worse. Lots of people recognise this and there are things you can do. However, your son wishing to see you at other times of the year is important too. He is too young to try and control that situation. Only you and his mother can be the adults here and do something to sort it out.

Whatever has gone on between you, the pair of you have to find some common ground in caring for your son. Your own childhood tells you that there is only one shot at being a child and that it can shape your _iews for a a lot of your adult life. Don't let your current situation mean that someone is responding to a similar post from your son in 20 years time.

I hope you feel better today.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Life can be a bich , and life can be great,. Things don't happern by chance they change. Take a long look at your life. Then think were you won't to be next Christmas . Then change. Only you can be the man you won't to be. No more feeling sorry for your self. No more crying. Take life by the balls, go out there and change it. Good luck. Xxx"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Like people have said make your own Karma, and to be honest if your not comfortable and happy with your own company you,ll never be happy in company either, and female pick up on confidence or lack of it and isnt a nice attraction, so your not helping yourself their either, also write the book theres loads of books out there about simalar so whats stopping you, instead of posting on here get out go to your local or night clubs meet people, join groups and volunteer.

be happy your son is safe and you do see him, but why not try to make better arrangements for contact even if just skype so you can at least see him, when i used to work away alot i used to send my daughter postcards from everywhere i visisted, she still has these so will rememeber them and you, so maybe try letters or joke cards,

You have a roof over your head

you have food

Tv and a computer so lifes not that bad and thats the way you need to look at it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

So here i am sat in my room with a tesco cheese salad for my christmas lunch and a cheese cake for pudding. This is what life has handed me.... is this whats to come in my blighted life?

Id love a family... family to look after me and me to look after them and thats the only thing i hang on to life for.

I wish every one here a merry christmas, god bless you all.... what a day i just wanna cry....."

Don't ever wish yourself dead. Your son needs you, and you need to live for him.

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By *ovingit2012 OP Man
over a year ago

Dudley

Thankyou all for the replies since i made my post... positive and negative i will take them all on board.

Before i lost my son i had the most fantastic relationship with him a dad could have. Drugs wasnt an issue then... infact i hated drugs. Me and his mum didnt get along and we split up and she took him away, the courts were involved and leeching solicitors tried to take me for every thing i had. The stress was unbearable. My ex is happy to take his maintenance every month and i dont have a problem with that but surly i should have a right in his growing up?? To top it off i had been outted as bisexual shortly after our split (long story) but i lost all my friends and any one i had close to me because of my dark secret. This didnt make any thing easyier at all in the end i had to move away from my home town. I have been through it all.. depression... suicidal thoughts and acts you name it i been through it. How am i sposed to talk about it when i fear any new friends i make run a mile?? The drugs came early this year when i hit rock botom... being offerd somthing that makes you feel good for short while took all my cares away. And thats how it is. I will be going through rehab 'again' in january and hopefully get through it properly this time... just when i fall on bad times im sucked into this false world of a line will solve all my evils when in reality its still there. Im off work till january and its this break that hits me... too much time alone to think about too much thats gone on. I hope that next year will be much different and after reading many posts today i aim to stive on whats been said. Yesterday i was upset and felt alone today i feel a little better knowing that my son knows im out there and i think about him. Thank you again for all your replys.

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

"Thankyou all for the replies since i made my post... positive and negative i will take them all on board.

good luck to you

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By *phroditeWoman
over a year ago

(She/ her) in Sensualityland

"I truly sympathise with you….. But don’t look for reasons to fail….

Write the book,,,,,, if for no other reason than one day you'll be able to present it to your son to help him understand what shaped your life.....

Writing could help you find a new direction and maybe become the catalyst for change which you obviously need…….

Good luck...

Well said.

To the OP : Sometimes it seems as if everybody else has a better deal in life, is happier, has friends and family. And sometimes that is so. Many other times though appearances can be deceiving and people are not as happy as they seem or wish to appear.

Also, you sound as if you had a really tough time when you were younger. Try and use that resilience to build a new life. You sound a genuine guy and I wish you all the best!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

OP jope that life looks rosy for you soon, best wishes

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