FabSwingers.com forum: Dislikes….

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Do you put yours at the top of the profile ?

As a bearded man I find I read through profiles and then near the bottom is the ‘not into beards’ line and my heart sinks after thinking I could be compatible for so many paragraphs (said in jest by the way all in the name of honour ) ..could I request you put this right at the top

No but on a serious note… do you find less time wasters if the dislikes are at the top as it stops them reading further and stops wasted messaging ?

Always curious

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By *lynJMan
over a year ago

Morden

I thought men never read profiles.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I thought men never read profiles.

Oh shit is that where I’m going wrong

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By *red333Man
over a year ago

Dorchester

"Do you put yours at the top of the profile ?

No but on a serious note… do you find less time wasters if the dislikes are at the top as it stops them reading further and stops wasted messaging ?

Always curious

"
just shave beard off....... Sorted

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By *agneto.Man
over a year ago

Bham

To be honest even if I meet their criteria I don't want to see a load of dislikes, comes across as a bit moany and shouty.

Just tell us what you do like.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No not really I don't have loads of dislikes like facial hair etc. I do have a couple just explaining I'm not into sex chat, meet now messages.

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By *stbury DavenportMan
over a year ago

Nottingham

I think I personally would find it useful, yes, but I suspect many people would find it "negative" or "confrontational" or whatever and get upset.

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By *unthum62Man
over a year ago

Benidorm

Read profiles? What are you on about? Lol

Seriously, I agree though. Lovely profile, check all the boxes, then last line, the killer blow. Fuck.

Suppose it saves a wasted message, unless you like pissing people off, then send it anyway, as many appear to do.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Every time I set up a profile on here, I think - I won’t put loads of don’t do this, don’t do that and then I get sick of answering the same questions.

When I asked people to put effort in it did initially cut down the message trough slightly, but now I get loads of messages asking how should they put the effort in.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't include likes or dislikes because one they don't read it anyway and two I don't want someone pretending to be something they are not.

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By *rincess peachWoman
over a year ago

shits creek

"Every time I set up a profile on here, I think - I won’t put loads of don’t do this, don’t do that and then I get sick of answering the same questions.

When I asked people to put effort in it did initially cut down the message trough slightly, but now I get loads of messages asking how should they put the effort in. "

Do you think it's coz folk have simply gotten so lazy since the invention of the Internet, that they've got used to "ask and get answers" now if they wanna know something, instead of using imagination or being able to think for or even be themselves.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Do you think it's coz folk have simply gotten so lazy since the invention of the Internet, that they've got used to "ask and get answers" now if they wanna know something, instead of using imagination or being able to think for or even be themselves."

Bang on, my friend! The Google effect. As you’ve written, it’s not because they don’t have that capability, it’s that they can’t be arsed to use it.

*some can. Not many though.

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By *ealitybitesMan
over a year ago

Belfast

My profile is written in a particular way which makes it obvious if people skip to the final chapter and don't care about the storyline.

I don't list dislikes for exactly the same reason I don't list likes either. That's what conversation is for.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Do you put yours at the top of the profile ?

No but on a serious note… do you find less time wasters if the dislikes are at the top as it stops them reading further and stops wasted messaging ?

Always curious

just shave beard off....... Sorted

How dare you

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"To be honest even if I meet their criteria I don't want to see a load of dislikes, comes across as a bit moany and shouty.

Just tell us what you do like. "

But if their likes are your dislikes then is it like a role reversal

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"No not really I don't have loads of dislikes like facial hair etc. I do have a couple just explaining I'm not into sex chat, meet now messages.

So still get time wasters?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I think I personally would find it useful, yes, but I suspect many people would find it "negative" or "confrontational" or whatever and get upset. "

So you’d rather have no dislikes ?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Every time I set up a profile on here, I think - I won’t put loads of don’t do this, don’t do that and then I get sick of answering the same questions.

When I asked people to put effort in it did initially cut down the message trough slightly, but now I get loads of messages asking how should they put the effort in. "

They just want it all handed on a plate….

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I don't include likes or dislikes because one they don't read it anyway and two I don't want someone pretending to be something they are not. "

But if 1 is true then 2 is void?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Every time I set up a profile on here, I think - I won’t put loads of don’t do this, don’t do that and then I get sick of answering the same questions.

When I asked people to put effort in it did initially cut down the message trough slightly, but now I get loads of messages asking how should they put the effort in.

Ooo new perspective

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"My profile is written in a particular way which makes it obvious if people skip to the final chapter and don't care about the storyline.

I don't list dislikes for exactly the same reason I don't list likes either. That's what conversation is for. "

I agree with conversation…

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By *rispyDuckMan
over a year ago

Chinese Takeaway near you

If they don't like your beard their loss mate

. If it was serious dating maybe, but just a shag no keep it

. Think it's ok to have dislikes but too many can be a turn off I only got 3 on my profile & people still don't read haha

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By *amantha_JadeWoman
over a year ago

Newcastle

I’ve got my bio split into sections eg ‘about me’ ‘about you’ so it should be easy to skip over to the relevant bits to see if we might be a good fit.

But tbf, I think a lot don’t bother reading bios anyways. If it’s clear from their message subject or first few words of their message that they haven’t read it (ie if they send ‘meet now?’ Etc), I’ll just delete without opening.

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By *inAndTonic21Couple
over a year ago

Merseyside

"Do you put yours at the top of the profile ?

No but on a serious note… do you find less time wasters if the dislikes are at the top as it stops them reading further and stops wasted messaging ?

Always curious

I love short trimmed beards- I will Add it at the top

Of our profile xx

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By *stbury DavenportMan
over a year ago

Nottingham

"I think I personally would find it useful, yes, but I suspect many people would find it "negative" or "confrontational" or whatever and get upset.

So you’d rather have no dislikes ? "

I'm in favour of profiles including dislikes. I personally find it helpful. I acknowledge that many other people have expressed a contrary opinion.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"If they don't like your beard their loss mate

. If it was serious dating maybe, but just a shag no keep it

. Think it's ok to have dislikes but too many can be a turn off I only got 3 on my profile & people still don't read haha

Oh I didn’t mean list the whole worlds problems ..just dislikes …surely no1 has that many

…plus they put it in there somewhere anyway…

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By *issYeuxBleusWoman
over a year ago

My boudoir - S Wales

I don’t think I’ve ever met anyone who isn’t into beards.

It would be great though as more men for me

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I’ve got my bio split into sections eg ‘about me’ ‘about you’ so it should be easy to skip over to the relevant bits to see if we might be a good fit.

Sections…love the organisation

big fan

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Do you put yours at the top of the profile ?

No but on a serious note… do you find less time wasters if the dislikes are at the top as it stops them reading further and stops wasted messaging ?

Always curious

I love short trimmed beards- I will Add it at the top

Of our profile xx

Thank you for your cooperation

just a shame you only like short beards

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I think I personally would find it useful, yes, but I suspect many people would find it "negative" or "confrontational" or whatever and get upset.

So you’d rather have no dislikes ?

I'm in favour of profiles including dislikes. I personally find it helpful. I acknowledge that many other people have expressed a contrary opinion. "

So it seems

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I don’t think I’ve ever met anyone who isn’t into beards.

It would be great though as more men for me

There are quite a few on here who would disagree….lots not fans

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By *bi HaiveMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Cheeseville, Somerset

"I don't include likes or dislikes because one they don't read it anyway and two I don't want someone pretending to be something they are not.

But if 1 is true then 2 is void? "

Not really.

If you tell people too many specifics then they'll know what to claim to be and what not to include/discuss in any messages.

It's a bit like when people ask for profile advice or tips on what to put in an opening message. You just end up with dozens of carbon copy profiles and messages that bear no relation to the person they're referring to. It becomes a tick box exercise rather than any display of intelligence or personality.

A fee key details are fine of course if there are strict boundaries and preferences. But giving everything away in profile text doesn't help anyone.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I don't include likes or dislikes because one they don't read it anyway and two I don't want someone pretending to be something they are not.

But if 1 is true then 2 is void?

Not really.

If you tell people too many specifics then they'll know what to claim to be and what not to include/discuss in any messages.

A fee key details are fine of course if there are strict boundaries and preferences. But giving everything away in profile text doesn't help anyone.

Oh I didn’t mean all …. Just the obvious type I.e no beards it’s direct whereas if you prefer guys over 6ft they could message if they’re 5’11 bare foot so with shoes on (social meet scenario) they are 6ft+ and so meet criteria…that could be left of the profile?

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By *atnip make me purrWoman
over a year ago

Reading

My biggest bar to entry is distance, so I put this at the top of my profile, but it still doesn't stop far-flung men messaging me.

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By *uby StarCouple
over a year ago

Durham

It's at the top of my profile who I'm looking to meet. People still get surprised when I say I won't meet them because they aren't what I'm looking for. I sometimes think I should just have a blank profile.

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By *reyToTheFairiesWoman
over a year ago

Carlisle usually

I have my No list at the bottom. But no-one ever gets that far

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By *red333Man
over a year ago

Dorchester

My profile is succinct

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By *agneto.Man
over a year ago

Bham

"I don’t think I’ve ever met anyone who isn’t into beards.

It would be great though as more men for me

There's plenty of profiles that say no beards or facial hair.

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By *agneto.Man
over a year ago

Bham

"To be honest even if I meet their criteria I don't want to see a load of dislikes, comes across as a bit moany and shouty.

Just tell us what you do like.

But if their likes are your dislikes then is it like a role reversal

But I know what my dislikes are, no need to tell them, I can just say no thanks.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"My biggest bar to entry is distance, so I put this at the top of my profile, but it still doesn't stop far-flung men messaging me."

Like in hope

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"It's at the top of my profile who I'm looking to meet. People still get surprised when I say I won't meet them because they aren't what I'm looking for. I sometimes think I should just have a blank profile."

You’d probably still get lots of messages …. Even if your profile just said woman

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I have my No list at the bottom. But no-one ever gets that far

There’s my point …. Maybe it’s worth switching to the top?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"To be honest even if I meet their criteria I don't want to see a load of dislikes, comes across as a bit moany and shouty.

Just tell us what you do like.

But if their likes are your dislikes then is it like a role reversal

But I know what my dislikes are, no need to tell them, I can just say no thanks. "

Or thank you?

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By *reyToTheFairiesWoman
over a year ago

Carlisle usually

"I have my No list at the bottom. But no-one ever gets that far

There’s my point …. Maybe it’s worth switching to the top? "

Nah.

The few that are worth actually talking to have read the whole thing. If people would rather shoot their shot without bothering to read to the bottom let them waste their time whichever way they prefer.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I have my No list at the bottom. But no-one ever gets that far

There’s my point …. Maybe it’s worth switching to the top?

Nah.

Ah I see..a test of concentration span

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By *reyToTheFairiesWoman
over a year ago

Carlisle usually

"Ah I see..a test of concentration span

More an endurance test, much like my actual personality

Just this one comes with a reading comprehension pop quiz too

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By *imi_RougeWoman
over a year ago

Portsmouth

I've put that bit on the first paragraph, but people still ignore it.

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By *bi HaiveMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Cheeseville, Somerset

"I have my No list at the bottom. But no-one ever gets that far

There’s my point …. Maybe it’s worth switching to the top?

Nah.

We have a bit near the top telling people not to bother asking to meet unless we've made it clear we actually have some free time and can. It couldn't be any more visible.

Do people read it? Apparently not. We had half a dozen invites to parties last night alone and every week get a dozen messages asking when we're available.

Placement doesn't matter.

Some people would miss profile text if it was 6ft tall in pink neon with topless models pointing huge purple double enders straight at it whilst shouting "oi - make sure you read this bit if you want your knob gobbed" through a megaphone 24/7.

You can lead some people to water. You can't make them drink.

You do sometimes get the urge to drown some of them in it though.......

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By *etcplCouple
over a year ago

Gapping Fanny

It doesn’t matter. People will always assume your dislikes don’t apply to them or you are special enough to make an exception for.

Time wasters will message regardless what you out in your profile.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I don't include likes or dislikes because one they don't read it anyway and two I don't want someone pretending to be something they are not. "

People will just say they match your profile.

I talk to people.

My hatred of online tick boxes increases the more elderly I get.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Ah I see..a test of concentration span

More an endurance test, much like my actual personality

Just this one comes with a reading comprehension pop quiz too

Love a quiz

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By *ily Con CarneTV/TS
over a year ago

Cornwall

"I thought men never read profiles.

They don't

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I've put that bit on the first paragraph, but people still ignore it."

Lazy so & so’s

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I have my No list at the bottom. But no-one ever gets that far

There’s my point …. Maybe it’s worth switching to the top?

Nah.

We have a bit near the top telling people not to bother asking to meet unless we've made it clear we actually have some free time and can. It couldn't be any more visible.

Do people read it? Apparently not. We had half a dozen invites to parties last night alone and every week get a dozen messages asking when we're available.

Placement doesn't matter.

You can lead some people to water. You can't make them drink.

You do sometimes get the urge to drown some of them in it though.......

Maybe you could write it on a board…. Then take a pic & post it …. See if that works

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"It doesn’t matter. People will always assume your dislikes don’t apply to them or you are special enough to make an exception for.

Time wasters will message regardless what you out in your profile."

Fair point

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I thought men never read profiles.

They don't"

Not so

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