FabSwingers.com forum: The value of...

By *eli OP Woman
over a year ago

Friendship.

Look it's not a New Year one. It's a bit sentimental. Bit reflective. But hey, what's life without some deep thinking as you sit on the toilet and reply?

Anyway, friendships on here. Are you lucky enough to have found some? Do you value them as standalone things or are things more compartmentalised with you? Are you open to friendship naturally progressing or a bit more cautious?

I've had some really lovely messages very recently and it's made me realised how blessed I am. Motivated me to be true to me.

Sure, it's a site full of cocks and tits and frustration but underneath that jizz covered exterior, I think there's a lot of good to be found on here.

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By *ed-monkeyCouple
over a year ago

Hailsham

Yes, made a few friends on here ... and it's not all about getting down and dirty with them. I think friendship comes first, anything else may follow naturally, but that's my opinion of course

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

For me being on Fab now is only about staying in touch with friends. There's a few I consider as 'real' friends equal to friends I've made elsewhere although we still tend to only meet up at Socials or with other Fab people so I guess that is compartmentalized. It certainly wasn't why I joined Fab but I'm happy it went that way.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yes made few friends on hear I think two lady’s both individual and different as each other also a couple of gents as well which have been very supportive

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Yes, made a few friends on here ... and it's not all about getting down and dirty with them. I think friendship comes first, anything else may follow naturally, but that's my opinion of course"

^ this

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

You're probably right.

There are two people on fab who we are in regular touch with, albeit infrequently. I wouldn't call it friendship in the way I think of it but one in particular I feel I could ask an opinion and get a genuine reply.

I've been kicking around the net since forums first became popular, Handbag was one. I've seen too many upsets and catfishes to trust

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By *ellinever70Woman
over a year ago

Ayrshire

I'm friendly with some people, but probably wouldn't class them as friends.

I'm not for the social side of fab, so that probably explains it

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By *dam1971Man
over a year ago

Bedford

I’ve had a few, lost some too. Makes me value the friends I have.

Often it’s not even about being a friend to someone, just a good human being. Sometimes I get it right and sometimes I don’t. It’s difficult though.

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By *enrietteandSamCouple
over a year ago

Staffordshire

The handful of genuine friendships I’ve made here have been invaluable over the years.

However, a guy like myself with such a beautiful penis has to be very wary about people’s true motives. I’ve been reminded many times that people pretend to want my friendship just so they can get closer to my beautiful penis.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have made a number of friends on here, who I can meet for drinks, meals, or even when I am on holiday in their area. The friendships are compartmentalised, as the explaining how I know them to work mates, old friends or immediate family may raise eyebrows!

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By *ealitybitesMan
over a year ago

Belfast

I don't have a big circle of friends generally but some of my best friends are people I've met through here.

Most of them are no longer on the site for various reasons but we are in regular contact.

I have an amazing FWB on here and the friendship is equally if not more important than the benefits. We trust each other implicitly and can be completely naked with each other when fully dressed.

I've seen the other side of fab friendships though where people use that "friendship" as currency to curry favour with others and those experiences have taught me to value true friends and to remind them of their worth.

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

Friends and Friendship ........

I wonder if when we use these words, we use them in the same way , give them the same meaning ?

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By *ose-tinted GlassesMan
over a year ago

Glasgow / London

"Sure, it's a site full of cocks and tits and frustration but underneath that jizz covered exterior, I think there's a lot of good to be found on here. "

You big softie, Meli. You’ve a good heart, y’know.

I’ve made some firm friends here. And that’s the best thing about the place. The sex is pretty bloody fantastic, don’t get me wrong. But the friendships are amazing. Because what’s better than friends you can be filthy with? Talk about anything - whether it’s your shitty day at work or that time you had a fivesome in the private room at a swingers club? Not much, that’s what. Friends are ace and sexy friends are even better.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think some people care. They’re the good people I like to find myself amongst. When I see people don’t give a shit about other people around them, I’m never going to be friends with them.

So it’s lucky that this place appears to be full of caring people wether they admit it or not.

Have I made friends? Certainly from my side I offer a friend to a few, I hope they consider me in the the same way, because after all it’s only text and an online acquaintance until you meet up and start something that’s a face to face friendship isn’t it?

You guys are a cool bunch.

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By *agneto.Man
over a year ago

Bham

There's are some decent free spirited cool individuals on here.

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By *rincess peachWoman
over a year ago

shits creek

There are people I genuinely care about.

I suppose that's what keeps me popping back. I like to check in from a distance now n then on people I don't really speak to off site or speak to infrequently away from here.

But yeah, I have made the most fantastic friendships with some folk from here.

One I speak to on the daily and I'd be lost without.

Others I speak to at least weekly, and would be lost without.

These people have had and continue to have a huge impact on my life. I love them. Not "get in my minge" love but the love you have for family members, even if they do happen to be chosen family rather than blood related, and I've seen photos of their genitalia.

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By *ucka39Man
over a year ago

Newcastle

It's a roller coaster at times, you make some great friends then lose contact but make many more which is always room for. I'm sociable guy away from the site its nice to achieve this here as well

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By *istyPeaksCouple
over a year ago

braintree

Yes. Absolutely - and I wasn’t expecting it. And I’m very happy & grateful for it.

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By *eli OP Woman
over a year ago

"Yes, made a few friends on here ... and it's not all about getting down and dirty with them. I think friendship comes first, anything else may follow naturally, but that's my opinion of course"

I like this opinion a lot. Mainly because it mirrors mine, I generally can't find someone sexually attractive until a friendship is ascertained. And that to me is more important than sex. Gosh that sounds really naff huh?

Sometimes I want to do away with sexual pressure etc and just relax and enjoy knowing someone. Getting to.

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By *izandpaulCouple
over a year ago

merseyside

For us we don't mix FAB friendships with vanilla or normal friends (or whatever word you would like to use).

We would never introduce FAB friends to our normal circle of friends.

Why?

For us swinging is a secret life, one so far removed from our normal life and its this secret life that floats our boat.

But we class friends as someone we would trust our lives to, got about 3 people who would fit that bill, others, although lovely, are aqaintaces.

We don't know the ins and outs of people we meet on FAB and don't want to as we only meet in a swinging format, be that in a club, party, one to one or holiday.

I've never been into Facebook friends, don't get it.

At the end of the day it's each to his or her own.

Just because we don't put a friends label on some folks we meet doesn't mean we don't enjoy their company.

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By *ittlebirdWoman
over a year ago

The Big Smoke

I’ve made some wonderful friends here and they mean the world to me

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By *bi HaiveMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Cheeseville, Somerset

It would be a tad disingenuous of me to claim that friendships can't ever progress to more on Fab.

And why shouldn't they?

Fab is part of society. Why should anything than can and does happen in the big wide world not happen in Fab-land ?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I am absolutely not reply from my loo

If you dig a bit there are lovely people to click with.

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By *istyPeaksCouple
over a year ago

braintree

"I’ve made some wonderful friends here and they mean the world to me

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Well I admire some people's optimism

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I did.make a few really good friends but sadly there no longer on fab

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By *eyond PurityCouple
over a year ago

Lincolnshire

We’ve made some friends here who we’ll be friends with long after we leave this site.

They are friends first and any extra benefits are a bonus. They’d be friends without any extra benefits.

We don’t speak to a lot on here as we don’t want this to become another chat site but the friends we have made are priceless

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By *a LunaWoman
over a year ago

South Wales

I have friendly chats with some men. But i suspect deep down they’re really only motivated by sex so I don’t think you can class that as true friendship.

I wouldn’t say I have friends on here in the dictionary meaning of a friend. If someone chats to me on here it’s because they want something, and it’s not friendship.

That sounds a bit cynical and maybe it is but we all have our own experiences of this site etc.

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By *bi HaiveMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Cheeseville, Somerset

"Well I admire some people's optimism "

Or realism.

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By *ose-tinted GlassesMan
over a year ago

Glasgow / London

"I am absolutely not reply from my loo

I was.

#NoShame

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I have friendly chats with some men. But i suspect deep down they’re really only motivated by sex so I don’t think you can class that as true friendship.

I’d certainly love to do you

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Well I admire some people's optimism

Or realism.

That I've yet to come across

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By *enrietteandSamCouple
over a year ago

Staffordshire

"I have friendly chats with some men. But i suspect deep down they’re really only motivated by sex so I don’t think you can class that as true friendship.

I wouldn’t say I have friends on here in the dictionary meaning of a friend. If someone chats to me on here it’s because they want something, and it’s not friendship.

That sounds a bit cynical and maybe it is but we all have our own experiences of this site etc."

It’s hard for people like us. We attract everyone with our beautiful penis’s.

We should probably get together and have some true meaning of friendship sex.

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By *hrista BellendWoman
over a year ago

surrounded by twinkly lights

I have a couple of close friends from here and quite a few social friends and our journeys together will last as long as they last

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By *eli OP Woman
over a year ago

"For me being on Fab now is only about staying in touch with friends. There's a few I consider as 'real' friends equal to friends I've made elsewhere although we still tend to only meet up at Socials or with other Fab people so I guess that is compartmentalized. It certainly wasn't why I joined Fab but I'm happy it went that way.

That's really lovely. Do you ever want to do things that aren't socials or with other fab folk? I think I'm taking a step back from socials in the new year and concentrating more on experiences with fab folk, away from the fab community.

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By *eli OP Woman
over a year ago

"You're probably right.

I've been kicking around the net since forums first became popular, Handbag was one. I've seen too many upsets and catfishes to trust

Maybe I'm a tad naive. Optimistic. Daft. I've seen and known of upsets on various fora over the years but part of me still believes and trusts in people readily. Once I'm less guarded with them.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I keep my circle small but have made a few platonic friends here over the last year. Some have drifted on naturally, others I have moved on from for various reasons, whilst others happily linger. Often we drift off and return on repeat to chat. Haven't ventured to group socials, parties or events.

I do have one fab co-star that is great & true. He gets the full package deal god help him. Sorry not sorry. The side benes are generous.....

As a rule in life, I love to let things evolve as they need to. We all have paths to follow that will diverge and converge over time. It's lovely to catch up and have that history, no?

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By *abs..Woman
over a year ago

I think once sex is involved in a friendship it can very quickly change things. I have some fab friendships but I will always keep in mind the lengths people will go to for sex.

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By *orraine999Woman
over a year ago

Somewhere

I’ve made some wonderful friends here. Supporting each other thru covid recoveries and sadly some losses, and everyday ups and downs. They are life long friendships.

I also consider myself lucky to have met and spent time with socially, some of the nicest people here.

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By *uriousscouserWoman
over a year ago

Wirral

Not particularly on here. I've found it very hard to fit in on here in a way I've not experienced online before. I've always found it relatively easy to find my people on a site and have gelled with people, taking those relationships into real life.

If I quit this site tomorrow I don't think a single person would stay in touch. Come to that I'm not sure anyone would notice - I'm not exactly a prolific poster!

(Not a plea for sympathy btw, it is what it is and I'm not emotional about it!)

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By *weetiepie99Woman
over a year ago

cardiff

I can't say i've made good friends here no. Plenty of good and longterm ones away from here tho so it doesn't bother me, its not why i joined fab. But always open and thankful should any develop here.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I can't say i've made good friends here no. Plenty of good and longterm ones away from here tho so it doesn't bother me, its not why i joined fab. I joined to get my anus destroyed by penises and sea salt. But always open and thankful should any develop here."

I knew it !

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By *lephantisMan
over a year ago

Oxford

I agree with Meli, Misty, LittleBird, and others: I've made some wonderful, trusted friends here, and hope to make more. Whether sex happens or not will make absolutely no difference to that friendship either way.

Without being arrogant - and goodness knows why, but experience tells me it's true - if I just wanted sex I could get it. But I'm much more emotionally greedy than sexually greedy.

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By *lephantisMan
over a year ago

Oxford

I knew it ! "

Those little Maldon pyramids are pretty fucking hot, true.

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By *weetiepie99Woman
over a year ago

cardiff

I knew it ! "

Ha ha...well that too i suppose..open to offers

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By *weetiepie99Woman
over a year ago

cardiff

I knew it !

Those little Maldon pyramids are pretty fucking hot, true."

Cornish sea salt does it for me, or French...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I knew it !

Those little Maldon pyramids are pretty fucking hot, true.

Cornish sea salt does it for me, or French..."

French ain’t better. It just gives bigger piles aka swollen veins in and around your anus

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By *weetiepie99Woman
over a year ago

cardiff

I knew it !

Those little Maldon pyramids are pretty fucking hot, true.

Cornish sea salt does it for me, or French...

French ain’t better. It just gives bigger piles aka swollen veins in and around your anus"

What bigger than the ones i've got?..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've found some really lovely friendships, especially since I rejoined. A few I speak to most days for a good natter, and it's clear to see a genuine like and care for each other. But I'm wary about getting too close, so I try to keep some sort of distance. I'm not ready to move anyone into my real life just yet, but there's always time if I ever feel like completely opening up in the future. I'm comfortable where I am now. I do value those I speak to.

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By *gent CoulsonMan
over a year ago

Secret hideaway in the pennines

Following events of the last couple of years, I am much more guarded, I have met a couple of people whom I now class as friends, IE, those that you can chat shit with about how good or bad your day was, and comfortably discuss all the personal shit and I feel very lucky to have found them, one will only ever be a friend as distance and attraction are stumbling blocks,the other, let's say, it's a continental work in progress

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By *eah BabyCouple
over a year ago

Cheshire, Windermere ,Cumbria

We have been very lucky to have made some amazing friends through the scene over the years, some still on the site some not, often holidaying and partying with them but also just spending time with them in every day life, it’s not all about sex they are true friends, some so much so that over the years it becomes that sex is no longer a thing, to me these are true friendships, not the fly by night ones who go along with the chat only to get in your pants

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have made some really good friends, they are very trusted and I've laid my soul bare to a couple and they have seen me at my most vulnerable, which is very rare. I am very lucky

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I knew it !

Those little Maldon pyramids are pretty fucking hot, true.

Cornish sea salt does it for me, or French...

French ain’t better. It just gives bigger piles aka swollen veins in and around your anus

What bigger than the ones i've got?.."

Send me a picture so I can check

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By *weetiepie99Woman
over a year ago

cardiff

I knew it !

Those little Maldon pyramids are pretty fucking hot, true.

Cornish sea salt does it for me, or French...

French ain’t better. It just gives bigger piles aka swollen veins in and around your anus

What bigger than the ones i've got?..

Send me a picture so I can check "

Will do, don't worry i'll douche first

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I knew it !

Those little Maldon pyramids are pretty fucking hot, true.

Cornish sea salt does it for me, or French...

French ain’t better. It just gives bigger piles aka swollen veins in and around your anus

What bigger than the ones i've got?..

Send me a picture so I can check

Will do, don't worry i'll douche first"

You are so considerate

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By *ily WhiteWoman
over a year ago

I don't class people as friends easily, but there are a select few from here who have got past my barriers and who I would class as friends...one as more than a friend. There are more that I would class as acquaintances.

I think, more so than in everyday life, that this site brings out the best and the worst in people. I may have been unlucky, I may just be a cynical old cow, but I've definitely seen the worst of more people over the years than I've seen the best, particularly in the forums. Maybe something about the sexual aspect of the place draws that out or something *shrug*

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 31/12/22 17:06:24]

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By *weetiepie99Woman
over a year ago

cardiff

I knew it !

Those little Maldon pyramids are pretty fucking hot, true.

Cornish sea salt does it for me, or French...

French ain’t better. It just gives bigger piles aka swollen veins in and around your anus

What bigger than the ones i've got?..

Send me a picture so I can check

Will do, don't worry i'll douche first

You are so considerate "

Thats my middle name

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By *ustBoWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere in Co. Down

I have a small handful of people on here who I consider to be real friends I've a fwb who is a true friend in and out of here. Our friendship means a lot to me the benefits part just make it even better.

There are a few others who I consider to be friends also and we chat and keep in touch.

I am quite wary though on here now as a person who I had considered to be a friend before betrayed my trust by sharing personal info to others.

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By *ou only live onceMan
over a year ago

London

I agree, Meli: I think there's a lot of good to be found on here, even if it sometimes takes a bit of wheat/chaff sorting.

I chat to a few people who I like to think are online friends, and believe we would/could be real-life friends if/when we meet. Some of those I fancy too, and some I don't, but just like the way they come across on the forum etc. No hard and fast compartments, though I guess people get mentally filed away in certain ways naturally. I'm guess I'm a mix of open and guarded at the same time: I'm open and interested in people, but also remember than online friendships can be gone in a flash, if that's not too downbeat an outlook.

If nothing else, this thread has been a good reminder that I have not invested as much as I should have in some 'real world' friendships recently, so must do better next year!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I am very open to friendships. In fact, actively seeking. But I must admit I am not too optimistic. I have been on fab before and that was always one of the reasons I left. I know most people (or maybe those I've interacted with) are here mainly for sex but making meaningful connections is important to me.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have friends who are on Fab who I met in other contexts, and I had a FWB situation with someone who I met through here in which the 'friend' bit was just as important as the 'with benefits' and we chatted about music and our lives, and all kinds of things. I think the forums help give you more of a sense of whether you'd like a person in general and make it more likely that you could strike up conversations and friendships - I didn't use the forums much for quite a while and I kind of regret that now as I've ended up chatting to people I wouldn't have otherwise and if they're not friends now who knows - one day they might be.

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