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Advice.

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By *ilthyginge94 OP   Man
over a year ago

glasgow

Anyone on here able to give me some advice? Seem to get replies back from lovely ladies on here but can’t seem to progress it further into meets. Also be respectful and like to have a chat first. Anyone know where I’m going wrong? Don’t get me wrong had a few meets and I kmow ladies get insane amounts of messages and so on. Thanks everyone x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Do they just stop chatting or only when you ask for a meet?

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By *ilthyginge94 OP   Man
over a year ago

glasgow


"Do they just stop chatting or only when you ask for a meet? "

Just stop chatting, I don’t like asking for meets straight away and most chats don’t go on too long l. Maybe 5/6 messages back and forward

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

Ask to meet for coffee on your third message. That way you will know if it's going to go further

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By *ilthyginge94 OP   Man
over a year ago

glasgow


"Ask to meet for coffee on your third message. That way you will know if it's going to go further "

Good idea thank you

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Hard to say without knowing what you are chatting about .... But if I'm still talking about the weather, what in doing on the weekend or other benign small talk after a few messages, I lose interest. Between fab and dating apps I'm bored shitless of small talk.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 31/12/22 12:06:31]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Ask to meet for coffee on your third message. That way you will know if it's going to go further "

That’s great thinking…. Not too soon … not too long to be disappointed if it ends

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm not saying this is the case with you but most men expect me to carry the conversation. If I stop replying mid chat it's usually because it's like pulling teeth trying to get them to speak.

People have different opinions on how things are going, maybe one feels the vibe and one doesn't. Either way there's no advice except be yourself, you meet the right people for you that way.

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By *arkhorse12345Man
over a year ago

Newcastle

Good advice

I been through this phase..

If in 3rd or 4th message no intention of meeting then I leave the chat giving away my contact details saying looking forward to hearing from you once you ready to meet..

With couples meeting rate is good as usually husband chatting and they want to get first coffee out of the way.. with single females they talking to few guys at the same time and one who suitable ( and possibly pursue more) gets the meet.. but then there is balance between pursuing and coming across desperate and reducing the chances.

Also suggest send your face pic with first message.. saves time if you not her type ( or you known to her and she doesn't want complications)

Its like finding diamond in coal mine here lol..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I'm not saying this is the case with you but most men expect me to carry the conversation. If I stop replying mid chat it's usually because it's like pulling teeth trying to get them to speak.

People have different opinions on how things are going, maybe one feels the vibe and one doesn't. Either way there's no advice except be yourself, you meet the right people for you that way.

"

What was the best chat you had? Natural feeling? Talk about anything in particular?

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By *herryblossom_BJWoman
over a year ago

Oxfordshire/Hampshire


"Do they just stop chatting or only when you ask for a meet?

Just stop chatting, I don’t like asking for meets straight away and most chats don’t go on too long l. Maybe 5/6 messages back and forward "

Got bored? I find that with men i chat. Nothing seems to progress like they just enjoying the chase. Like nothing they say feels genuine. Or they say something that's instant turn offs

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By *herryblossom_BJWoman
over a year ago

Oxfordshire/Hampshire

Plus by the time a guy replied. 100 of other men sent a message and maybe the other guys intrigued her more?

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By *herryblossom_BJWoman
over a year ago

Oxfordshire/Hampshire


"Good advice

I been through this phase..

If in 3rd or 4th message no intention of meeting then I leave the chat giving away my contact details saying looking forward to hearing from you once you ready to meet..

With couples meeting rate is good as usually husband chatting and they want to get first coffee out of the way.. with single females they talking to few guys at the same time and one who suitable ( and possibly pursue more) gets the meet.. but then there is balance between pursuing and coming across desperate and reducing the chances.

Also suggest send your face pic with first message.. saves time if you not her type ( or you known to her and she doesn't want complications)

Its like finding diamond in coal mine here lol.."

Some women like me prefer to see face and cock pics. As both matters to me. I don't like these very mysterious men who don't want to show anything about themselves but insisting meeting straight away. Red flag to me

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Plus by the time a guy replied. 100 of other men sent a message and maybe the other guys intrigued her more?"

Yep. Or maybe the messages got lost on the 2nd page and she didn't realise she can easily find the message trail in the Sent box.

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By *ilthyginge94 OP   Man
over a year ago

glasgow

Thanks guys appreciate the help. I don’t really feel like the conversation is dying, but appreciate people feel different. Was really trying to not make this sound like a moany poor me, woman owe me anything thread. So thank you all

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Good advice

I been through this phase..

If in 3rd or 4th message no intention of meeting then I leave the chat giving away my contact details saying looking forward to hearing from you once you ready to meet..

With couples meeting rate is good as usually husband chatting and they want to get first coffee out of the way.. with single females they talking to few guys at the same time and one who suitable ( and possibly pursue more) gets the meet.. but then there is balance between pursuing and coming across desperate and reducing the chances.

Also suggest send your face pic with first message.. saves time if you not her type ( or you known to her and she doesn't want complications)

Its like finding diamond in coal mine here lol..

Some women like me prefer to see face and cock pics. As both matters to me. I don't like these very mysterious men who don't want to show anything about themselves but insisting meeting straight away. Red flag to me"

Does /should this work both ways?

I only ask as I have experienced varied…I have had it where a woman shows herself first to introduce….or I have had it where I have sent one and received one in return ….and also I have had it where I have sent one after a little messaging and then she says ‘not for me’ due to my ugly mush

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By *bi HaiveMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Cheeseville, Somerset


"Anyone on here able to give me some advice? Seem to get replies back from lovely ladies on here but can’t seem to progress it further into meets. Also be respectful and like to have a chat first. Anyone know where I’m going wrong? Don’t get me wrong had a few meets and I kmow ladies get insane amounts of messages and so on. Thanks everyone x"

Here's my 2p.

When we get a message we look at the profile before even opening it. Nothing in yours would have us even reading a message let alone replying OP - apologies if that sounds harsh but that's what would happen if you sent us one. So message content is irrelevant to us if the profile isn't appealing.

In the scenario you describe maybe some are being polite and replying because the message is itself polite and not pushy. But after a bit of 'to and fro' they realise that continuing a conversation won't lead anywhere and because it's the easy thing to do they cut it dead rather than state the truth - that there's no interest in taking things further.

I could be wrong of course. We don't know the content of your messages, nor the replies.

But we'd take a less interesting message from an interesting and attractive profile over a cracking message from a brief, non-descript one filled with generic cock shots.

You asked for advice. Mine would be worry less about your messages and work on your profile and see if things improve.

A

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By *arkhorse12345Man
over a year ago

Newcastle

Great tips

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Anyone on here able to give me some advice? Seem to get replies back from lovely ladies on here but can’t seem to progress it further into meets. Also be respectful and like to have a chat first. Anyone know where I’m going wrong? Don’t get me wrong had a few meets and I kmow ladies get insane amounts of messages and so on. Thanks everyone x

Here's my 2p.

When we get a message we look at the profile before even opening it. Nothing in yours would have us even reading a message let alone replying OP - apologies if that sounds harsh but that's what would happen if you sent us one. So message content is irrelevant to us if the profile isn't appealing.

In the scenario you describe maybe some are being polite and replying because the message is itself polite and not pushy. But after a bit of 'to and fro' they realise that continuing a conversation won't lead anywhere and because it's the easy thing to do they cut it dead rather than state the truth - that there's no interest in taking things further.

I could be wrong of course. We don't know the content of your messages, nor the replies.

But we'd take a less interesting message from an interesting and attractive profile over a cracking message from a brief, non-descript one filled with generic cock shots.

You asked for advice. Mine would be worry less about your messages and work on your profile and see if things improve.

A"

Totally agree. Mate improve your profile. Not saying mine is perfect, but feedback has been generally positive, especially the lack of cock pics!

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By *ilthyginge94 OP   Man
over a year ago

glasgow

Thanks guys. Something I’ll work on what’s the genuine rule of thumb then?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

As soon as I uploaded a video of me fucking a watermelon, women started to message me to ask me if they can suck my penis.

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By *ilthyginge94 OP   Man
over a year ago

glasgow


"As soon as I uploaded a video of me fucking a watermelon, women started to message me to ask me if they can suck my penis.

"

Hahahahaha

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By *riving_Home_For_MimiWoman
over a year ago

Hampshire/Dorset

I wouldn't say you were curvy OP? Looking at the description... More varied pics , I mean look at Fab bearded for inspo.

Definitely a good point about 3/4 messages in. Ask their availability and invite them out for coffee, it's really attractive when a man can make plans!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"As soon as I uploaded a video of me fucking a watermelon, women started to message me to ask me if they can suck my penis.

"

The alternative, OP is that you upload a video of you furiously consuming an orange. Or grapefruit. Or whatever that is on Fabulous & Bearded’s profile. Distracting!!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Grey sweats and dirty workmen top. You should be covered in clunge

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By *ustBoWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere in Co. Down


"Ask to meet for coffee on your third message. That way you will know if it's going to go further

That’s great thinking…. Not too soon … not too long to be disappointed if it ends "

If someone asks me to meet three messages in I'd think they were pushy if I'm honest.When I am meeting new people . I like to chat for a bit before they want to meet.I met a guy for a social after a short while on here before and it was the worst meet I ever had and I won't do it again.Since then the men I've met we chatted for a while got to know each other and for red flags to show.

This is advice on here is a bit pointless as there is no right way,everyone does things the way it suits them.

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