FabSwingers.com forum: hi

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

hi i posted this before....

my brothers wife to be and my brother haven't invited me to thing for about 3 years (christmas parties, bbq etc as we fell out over something) i wasn't the guilty one in this argument.

they are getting married in feb....

who would go to a wedding of people who excluded them for 3 years? i dont want to... i feel im more peer pressured again my will to go.

i was so pissed off i actually ripped up the invite and thew it in the bin.

im willing to bet they are having a xmas party today and i haven't got an invite but my mum dad sisters friends are free to go.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

don't go then..

that was easy wasn't it?

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

speak to your brother and ask why and then try and resolve with him.

good luck.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

not so easy when all family want different.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

its one of them it want be resolved. its complicated.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Can't see the problem mate. If you don't want to go, don't go.

They could be offering "the olive branch", but if you don't want it, then dont accept it.

It's your call

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By *teveanddebsCouple
over a year ago

Norwich

"don't go then..

that was easy wasn't it?"

This.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

my brother also does what ever his wife says.

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By *londeCazWoman
over a year ago

Arse End of the Universe, Cumbria

Sounds to me like the wedding invite is a bit of an olive branch from your brother, if it were me, I'd RSVP that I'd be there and invite them over during the festive period

I've been putting off going to see an old friend (and indeed my first love) for ages as he's had cancer, I didn't realise how bad it was...he died yesterday

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By *abioMan
over a year ago

Newcastle and Gateshead

"hi i posted this before....

my brothers wife to be and my brother haven't invited me to thing for about 3 years (christmas parties, bbq etc as we fell out over something) i wasn't the guilty one in this argument.

they are getting married in feb....

who would go to a wedding of people who excluded them for 3 years? i dont want to... i feel im more peer pressured again my will to go.

i was so pissed off i actually ripped up the invite and thew it in the bin.

im willing to bet they are having a xmas party today and i haven't got an invite but my mum dad sisters friends are free to go."

you have two choices...

1) don't go... no one is holding a gun to your head...

2) suck it up and go, be the bigger person...

if it is an occasion where in the grander scheme of things you would regret not going to looking back on things ... then you have your answer...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Life's to short to sit and wait for 'family feuds' to sort themselves out.

You never know what's round the corner and its very easy to regret not sorting things out - or at least trying to.

Get in touch and arrange a drink/coffee with them on their own. It may come to nothing - but I'd personally rather try than have something happen later that meant I'd missed the chance!

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

there will be pussy there.......

going now ?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

i suggested i will go and leave early... once it's done it's done i dont have to see them then.

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By *ezebelWoman
over a year ago

North of The Wall - youll need your vest

"i suggested i will go and leave early... once it's done it's done i dont have to see them then."

If youre going with the intention of being ungracious its probably better not to go at all...

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By (user no longer on site)
Forum Mod
over a year ago

You sound like a very bitter man

If you don't deal with your issues you will make yourself sick with bitterness

I remember the last thread about the wedding,now you're sitting at home seething because you're assuming everyone is going to be having fun at a christmas party that you've imagined they're having and you have been excluded........again

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By *itboyslim2Man
over a year ago

stevenage

The invite was his 1st step to resolving the issue....

You need to take the next step if you want it resolving... or dont go if you want the feud to continue

Simples

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By *b430Man
over a year ago

Tayside

"You sound like a very bitter man

If you don't deal with your issues you will make yourself sick with bitterness

^^^^^ This

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

go - see how it goes - can always leave

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

As usual it's down to me to be the voice of reason.

Go, make passes at all the bridesmaids, wank into the chocolate fountain and say "oh look, milk chocolate", grab the Mic from the bands singer and do a highly inappropriate speech in your best Jimmy Seville impression and goose the mother in law on the dancefloor saying "now I know where the bride got her fat arse from, I'd love to be smothered in them dirty pillows", before throwing up on the buffet and going to a strip club.

Sorted and you're welcome.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"As usual it's down to me to be the voice of reason.

Sorted and you're welcome."

made me smile

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By *londeCazWoman
over a year ago

Arse End of the Universe, Cumbria

Jodie is also taking bookings for christenings, funerals, bar mitzvahs and any other celebratory event - very reasonable rates, book one event, get 2nd half price

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Sounds to me like the wedding invite is a bit of an olive branch from your brother, if it were me, I'd RSVP that I'd be there and invite them over during the festive period

I've been putting off going to see an old friend (and indeed my first love) for ages as he's had cancer, I didn't realise how bad it was...he died yesterday

Big moral there

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Jodie is also taking bookings for christenings, funerals, bar mitzvahs and any other celebratory event - very reasonable rates, book one event, get 2nd half price

I also come with my own backing band, Jodie and the Manwhores

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

They invited you to the wedding, I would invite them to a Boxing Day buffet or New Years. You have the choice of building bridges and cutting ties. This must be hurting the whole family not just you and your brother. I really hope you resolve it as it is obviously eating you up.

Good luck x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Jodie is also taking bookings for christenings, funerals, bar mitzvahs and any other celebratory event - very reasonable rates, book one event, get 2nd half price

I also come with my own backing band, Jodie and the Manwhores

I would love to go to one of your parties

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

families are difficult and from experience I know that it isn't always a cut and dried situation. You don't have to like your family, in some cases there is very good reason for never seeing them again and if this is the case if the argument was so awful if your brother and his future wife have done things that are so awful they are unforgivable leave it, don't go and never look back.

If however the argument was a small one that got out of hand how important is it in the grand scheme of things? What would it take for a reconciliation? Do you want to spend most of the rest of your life without seeing him? If the answer to the last question is yes, don't go and never look back.

I think it would be awful to continue a rift with your brother and for myself I'd rather forgive a thousand slights than die regretting wasted years.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Just go... is it a free bar?

I wouldn't buy them a wedding present though

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"don't go then..

that was easy wasn't it?"

agreed

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Obviously none of us here know what has happened and how much pain and hurt your family has gone through, but I would have to go out of curiosity. It's a chance to catch up with family and old friends that you might actually like to catch up with and let everyone know that you're just fine thank you. If you speak to your brother you may be pleasantly surprised that he is the same old brother you used to get on with, or not, but it's a chance to make amends. He made the first step my inviting you, you could take the second step and find out why? If it all goes pear shaped, well you caught up with old friends and family and you got a free dinner out of it. As long as you don't starting throwing champagne at each other and breaking up the place, what's the worst that can happen?

The question is do you want to be part of your brother's life again and do you want him to be part of yours. If the answer is yes, then don't brood over the past or think about the things that haven't happened. Just go, be gracious and friendly, and see what happens ...

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By *aceytopWoman
over a year ago

from a town near you

if you decide to go,make sure its with good intentions dont go expecting trouble,be gracious or dont bother going at all,i would suggest you meet up first have a chat sort things out then if you still want to then go

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By *ady4ladyWoman
over a year ago

liverpool

Doesnt matter what has happened in past, if you dont go to the wedding and be the 'bigger' man then all future family discussions will include the 'he didnt even go to his brothers wedding' bite.

Go, take a nice present, get on the pictures, show the family that you are trying to mend the rift. If it doesnt work then nothing lost. If it does then you have re-gained a brother, sister in law and any future neices and nephews.

Family can be trying, but if you decline and dont go you wont get a second chance.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

They seem to be offering an olive branch and you are throwing it back at them. People don't tend to offer them more than once.

I relate to your situation, it is many years since I have spoken to my family but while it does make me sad it doesn't fill me with the bitterness and anger that is so apparent in your posts.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have said this before, just because one is blood related to me, does not mean I have to like him/her. I did not choose my family.

I have not spoken to my sister since 2002, she has not spoken to my bro since 1989.

She did not go to my dad's funeral. Wrote pages and pages telling my mum off for everything that she had allegedly did wrong to her since she was a child after my dad's death.

And I am sure the feeling is very mutual.

I do not feel bitterness towards her, as I am beyond caring about her many years ago. However I shall never forgive her for upsetting my dad by refusing to go and visit him before he died for whatever reason(s). She was his favourite, and she last saw him alive in 1989, and he died in 2005.

I am not going to let her ruin my life by turning me into a bitter old prune that's for certain.

To the OP, don't like the behaviours of others make you bitter and angry. Live long and prosper, and be happy I'd say.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"hi i posted this before....

my brothers wife to be and my brother haven't invited me to thing for about 3 years (christmas parties, bbq etc as we fell out over something) i wasn't the guilty one in this argument.

they are getting married in feb....

who would go to a wedding of people who excluded them for 3 years? i dont want to... i feel im more peer pressured again my will to go.

i was so pissed off i actually ripped up the invite and thew it in the bin.

im willing to bet they are having a xmas party today and i haven't got an invite but my mum dad sisters friends are free to go."

Perhaps it's time to be the grown up and go and mend the broken bridges!

Life is far too short to bear grudges!

It obviously bothers you so go and do something about you

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

yes i will go.... at the moment it is hard to make amends an my brothers wife does it to keep me and her best mate apart as she know we liked each other... she is really hates us getting together but i know one day i will meet someone and we will be fine if anything ill meet a nice girl.

also my dad doesn't like her... and a few of my brothers mates lol they just think she is in the wrong.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

she is really jelious of me as i have alot going for me and have done well which doesn't even matter.... but to her it does.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

basically im busy getting on with my own life which doesn't involve them.....

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By *athfindersCouple
over a year ago

Hull

From a personal point of _iew I would say that your brother has invited you to the wedding through pressure from your family.

I do not speak to my half sister and point blank refused to invite her to our wedding. I would say it delayed us getting married by 2 years.

In the end I was so sick of the hassle I ended up inviting her. This was purely down to the fact that my family had put pressure on us and had said it would divide the family if she did not come.

The decision to go or not lies solely with you. Just remember that it is probably not them who want you to go. Your family for sure will be looking out for you in terms of them wanting you to go so hopefully you can bury the hatchet. If you did not receive an invite to anything else then you should assume the above

best of luck. I know it is a tough one. You have to think if you will gain or lose anything in the process.

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By *hole Lotta RosieWoman
over a year ago

Deviant City

I do wish I had an invite to my sisters wedding, I missed it due to a fall out and she refused to invite me.

Obi has given a good piece of advice, you've got nothing to loose.

Best of luck with what ever you decide to do xx

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

saw them yesterday i could speak too them... i thought id add i live two hours away and a little part of the reason i moved is that we fell out.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

couldnd i mean

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