FabSwingers.com forum: Find a woman for BDSM

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Hi i would love to find a woman that enjoys, or want to try bdsm without ther husband knowing our secret

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By *reyToTheFairiesWoman
over a year ago

Carlisle usually

Given the amount of trust and communication needed to practice BDSM safely, I'm not sure I'd be keen to attempt with someone who believes that lying to their partner is absolutely fine.

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By *ackandtheunicornCouple
over a year ago

liverpool

I would imagine this is close to impossible.

Very few woman will want to cheat on their husband and even fewer will trust a random whilst away at secret.

BDSM is all about trust and communication and this is the opposite

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The curse of the green arrow in full effect

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By *ellinever70Woman
over a year ago

Ayrshire

"The curse of the green arrow in full effect

That's not really very welcoming

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By *ictoria_1976TV/TS
over a year ago

Lanson

"The curse of the green arrow in full effect

Ah yes - I knew that user name rang a bell (an alarm bell!)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Given the amount of trust and communication needed to practice BDSM safely, I'm not sure I'd be keen to attempt with someone who believes that lying to their partner is absolutely fine."

Completely agree. Sadly if people are prepared to cheat then that trust simply can't exist for BDSM

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By *sBlueWoman
over a year ago

Up North

"Hi i would love to find a woman that enjoys, or want to try bdsm without ther husband knowing our secret

You have little to no chance op

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By *gent CoulsonMan
over a year ago

Secret hideaway in the pennines

The trust involved between Dom and sub is something that has to be earned and built upon.

I doubt you will find anyone that is married and into the lifestyle that will actively cheat on there other half

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By *ex HolesMan
over a year ago

Up North

I hope you find her OP

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"The curse of the green arrow in full effect

Ah yes - I knew that user name rang a bell (an alarm bell!)

Absolutely. It seems he cant make up his mind what he is looking for, and puts in zero effort.

Plus, he hasnt followed any of the advice given to him re improving his profile. Its exactly the same as it was when he posted about 2months ago.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"The curse of the green arrow in full effect

Ah yes - I knew that user name rang a bell (an alarm bell!)

Absolutely. It seems he cant make up his mind what he is looking for, and puts in zero effort.

Plus, he hasnt followed any of the advice given to him re improving his profile. Its exactly the same as it was when he posted about 2months ago."

Also, he’s been doing this behind his spouse’s back for some time for what it transpired in his posts. I’m not sure he’s in the right place either, unfortunately.

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By *imi_RougeWoman
over a year ago

Portsmouth

Very repetitive... Obviously this approach isn't working OP?

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By *iscean_dreamMan
over a year ago

Llanelli

Yeah good luck OP as you need it for many reasons

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

It takes a very high degree of trust. The question you have to ask yourself, OP, is what you do to convey your trustworthiness.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Hi i would love to find a woman that enjoys, or want to try bdsm without ther husband knowing our secret

I'm curious as to why it has to be a secret?

There are many people on here that list an interest in SM and say their other halves don't know.

It's generally a no for me when I see that as kink in general usually ends up marking in some way and if it's a "secret" marks are often a no no.

Rules out so much of the fun stuff.

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By *ensualMan
over a year ago

Sutton

From my experience there are a number of people in the BDSM community that have deep BDSM relationships but are " cheating" on their partner. I say " cheating" because not all BDSM or D/s involves sex. There may be dishonesty but this in the face of a vanilla partner who sees BDSM as taboo and beyond the pale. For that vanilla partner the thought of domininating someone or being dominated is disgusting and the vanilla partner may also believe that BDSM is for damaged people with mental health issues.

In those circumstances a person who discovers their kink, and knowing their vanilla partners views may reach out to others outside of their relationship to allow them to express their kink.

This is why I distinguish between what I call the "sex doms or sex subs" who use the language and practices of BDSM for sex. Which would be cheating (again people may have their reasons but that is not this discussion) and those into the practices of "dominating" and "submission" in a BDSM sense (which includes, consent, respect, trust, caring, safe physical and psychological practices) for itself, and it is integral to their personality and not roleplay.

That being said everyone does their thing differently and kink is a broad church. But we should wary of imposing our own moral values in the guise of kink practices on BDSM relationships which are complex.

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