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Best Christmas cracker joke

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Hit me with them...here is mine...why does Santa have 3 gardens?

So he can ho,ho,ho

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What do you get if you cross Santa with a duck?

A Christmas quacker.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What hats do polar bears wear?

Ice caps

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 26/12/22 15:45:39]

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By *elix SightedMan
over a year ago

Cloud 8

How did Jesus get his shopping home?

On a Lidl donkey!!!

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By *ornucopiaMan
over a year ago

Bexley

Which British playwright was afraid of Christmas?

Noel Coward!

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By *mily36CWoman
over a year ago

Beds (or anywhere beginning with B..!?)

What do Reindeers hang on their Christmas trees?

Horn-aments

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By *aul DeUther-OneMan
over a year ago

Sussex

What did the fish say when he banged his head on a wall?

.

.

Oh, DAM!

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By *aul DeUther-OneMan
over a year ago

Sussex

[Removed by poster at 26/12/22 21:22:30]

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By *a_fun_30_coupleCouple
over a year ago

Durham

What did one snowman say to the other snowman?

Do you smell carrots?

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"What do you get if you cross Santa with a duck?

A Christmas quacker.

"

Brilliant!

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"What hats do polar bears wear?

Ice caps "

Love it!

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"How did Jesus get his shopping home?

On a Lidl donkey!!!"

That's awful

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Which British playwright was afraid of Christmas?

Noel Coward!"

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"What did the fish say when he banged his head on a wall?

.

.

Oh, DAM!"

Love it, proper dad joke!!

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"What did one snowman say to the other snowman?

Do you smell carrots? "

Superb

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By *igonpleasureMan
over a year ago

Colne

What do you a load of sheep rolling down a hill

A lambslide

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By *asterR and slut mayaMan
over a year ago

Bradford

Who delivers sharks their Christmas presents

Santa jaws

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Who delivers sharks their Christmas presents

Santa jaws"

Quality!

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By *asterR and slut mayaMan
over a year ago

Bradford


"Who delivers sharks their Christmas presents

Santa jaws

Quality! "

Was in one yesterday I cant remember the rest .

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 26/12/22 21:39:31]

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By *orny PTMan
over a year ago

Peterborough

What's a driving instructor's favourite carol?

"No L, no L"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"What did one snowman say to the other snowman?

Do you smell carrots? "

Hahaha beat us to it was just Gona put that x

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By *mily36CWoman
over a year ago

Beds (or anywhere beginning with B..!?)

Who hides in a bakery at Christmas?

A mince spy 

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By *orny PTMan
over a year ago

Peterborough

Advertising: sprouts 95p a kilo.

Marketing: them's not sprouts, them's bonsai cabbages.

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By *orny PTMan
over a year ago

Peterborough

found on a certain travel review website...

"After hours looking for a place to stay in Bethlehem, we fount a quaint little place and even had some complimentary gifts delivered to us, even if it did take them a while: some excuse about postcodes being wrong"

One star: no that's not the score, that's the thing that kept me up all night.

J & M of Nazareth

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Whens an elf not an elf?

When he's up a fairies skirt, then he's a goblin

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By *orny PTMan
over a year ago

Peterborough

Xmas decorations are not edible: risk of tinsel-itis!

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By *orny PTMan
over a year ago

Peterborough


"What did one snowman say to the other snowman?

Do you smell carrots?

No, but I can see coal.

Superb"

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By *orny PTMan
over a year ago

Peterborough

What's the difference between snowmen and snowwomen?

Snowballs!

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