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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Sowing Your Wild Sod

A kid gets a job in a small department store. On his first

day, the manager shows the kid round, and explains that the

company policy was to sell a product, with a product. The

kid looked confused....so the manager said he would show him

what he meant.

Now, it just so happened that a customer approached the

manager and asked if they sold grass seed. "Certainly",

pointing to the wide range of seed boxes, "and what sort of

lawn mower would you like?"

The customer looked baffled, so

the manager went on "Well, you will sow the grass, the grass

will grow, and you will need a lawn mower to cut it."

"I hadn't thought of that," says the customer, "I'll take

the lawn mower as well then"....and the customer leaves the

store happy.

The manager then looks at the kid and says "Now do you

understand our policy?" to which the kid replies "Yes...it's

good!" Just then, a bloke walks into the store.

The manager says to the kid "Go on, you can deal with this

guy".

So the kid asks the bloke if he can help.

"Yes" replies the guy hesitantly, "Do you sell tampons,

as I need some for my wife..."

"Certainly", pointing to a shelf with tampons etc on it,

"and what sort of lawn mower would you like?"

The customer looked baffled and the manager's face drops,

so the kid went on "Well, the weekend's fucked....you may

as well cut the grass!"

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Doctor Checkup

An 80 year old man was having his annual checkup and the

doctor asked him how he was feeling.

"I've never been better!" he boasted. "I've got an eighteen

year old bride who's pregnant and having my child! What do

you think about that?"

The doctor considered this for a moment, then said, "Let me

tell you a story. I knew a guy who was an avid hunter. He

never missed a season.

But one day went out in a bit of a hurry and he accidentally

grabbed his umbrella instead of his gun." The doctor

continued, "So he was in the woods and suddenly a grizzly

bear appeared in front of him! He raised up his umbrella,

pointed it at the bear and squeezed the handle."

"And do you know what happened?" the doctor queried.

Dumbfounded, the old man replied "No."

The doctor continued, "The bear dropped dead in front of him!"

"That's impossible!" exclaimed the old man. "Someone else

must have shot that bear."

"That's kind of what I'm getting at..." replied the doctor

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By *edbagioMan
over a year ago

ripon

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