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"I'm a slow cleaner, I'm afraid, Ms. Christmas, though thorough. But if anyone needs a poem analysed, or a bedtime story read to them, I'm your chap. As for what I need...I've been wrapping presents for hours and am so very tired and bored. Any help on that would be deeply appreciated. ![]() I can wrap presents! I've been doing it all night. Not in desperate need of a poem or bedtime story though...hmmmm, can you sing? Play a musical instrument? ![]() | |||
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"I'm a slow cleaner, I'm afraid, Ms. Christmas, though thorough. But if anyone needs a poem analysed, or a bedtime story read to them, I'm your chap. As for what I need...I've been wrapping presents for hours and am so very tired and bored. Any help on that would be deeply appreciated. ![]() ![]() I can and do both - classical and flamenco guitar, but I've been in bands, too. Are you setting up a very late night gig? ![]() | |||
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"I'm a slow cleaner, I'm afraid, Ms. Christmas, though thorough. But if anyone needs a poem analysed, or a bedtime story read to them, I'm your chap. As for what I need...I've been wrapping presents for hours and am so very tired and bored. Any help on that would be deeply appreciated. ![]() ![]() ![]() Sure, why not?! Everyone bring your unwrapped presents and ironing to mine! Party on ![]() | |||
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"Here, this could work! I can't cook, but can iron. And I can walk in stupid heels but I'll defo take up the maid offer Natalie ![]() Ok done deal ha ha ![]() | |||
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" Sure, why not?! Everyone bring your unwrapped presents and ironing to mine! Party on ![]() The "It's A Wrap" gig is on! I can cook, too. Shall I start in the kitchen or in your minstrels' gallery? | |||
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" Sure, why not?! Everyone bring your unwrapped presents and ironing to mine! Party on ![]() My minstrels gallery is about 12ftx12ft and currently has a bike in it...so I'd go kitchen ![]() | |||
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"Can cook, clean and rap presents. Crap at music but the better half used to be in a local brass band ![]() OK, you're both in ![]() ![]() ![]() | |||
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"Can I come to your gathering and offer any skills?!! ![]() We have a very strict vetting process...whatcha offering? | |||
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"Can cook, clean and rap presents. Crap at music but the better half used to be in a local brass band ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() Hope the stripper gives lessons, Mrs says I suck at doing strip tease, to impatient to get my cloths off ![]() | |||
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"Can cook, clean and rap presents. Crap at music but the better half used to be in a local brass band ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() Checked your pics...you guys are in. I never claimed this was a meritocracy ![]() | |||
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"I've just wrapped another four presents. ![]() ![]() ![]() I'm going to bed now but if you could just wake me up with appetisers and music when you get here that would be lovely, thanks! Can't wait to see all the new connections that've been made by the time I wake up ![]() | |||
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"I've just wrapped another four presents. ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() Goodnight, and sleep well. Let me know when you want your alarm call. ![]() | |||
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"I've just wrapped another four presents. ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() Coffee on the bedside table; breakfast/concert when you are ready. ![]() | |||
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"I can offer individual gift wrap, sewing, embroidery or crochet in return for sorting our bookshelves by category and author. " I've finished my wrapping, but this is exactly the sort of task I'd love to do. ![]() | |||
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"I can offer individual gift wrap, sewing, embroidery or crochet in return for sorting our bookshelves by category and author. " Oooh... would you crochet me a cuddly penis toy? I saw them on etsy the other day and thought they were so cute. And consider the bookshelves done Posh ![]() | |||
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"Feels like it's been a bit heavy on here lately ![]() Naked Cleaning Naked chef Cooks and washes up after Adds Security with body cam radios ![]() | |||
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"I've just wrapped another four presents. ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() I thought I had dreamed Kim Kardashian was delivering my coffee! That pic is funny ![]() | |||
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"I've just wrapped another four presents. ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() It's a unique room service, certainly. ![]() | |||
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"I can offer individual gift wrap, sewing, embroidery or crochet in return for sorting our bookshelves by category and author. I've finished my wrapping, but this is exactly the sort of task I'd love to do. ![]() And the sort of task I really dislike ![]() | |||
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"I can do an incredible sports massage, kneeding big muscles. I can offer wonderful sexual relief in exchange, as well as some great plant help " I bagsy that! | |||
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"I need someone to wrap the presents I bought all neatly and tidily. In return, I can clean and hoover (never miss out the skirting boards) and I can make a mean coffee ![]() I'll take him. Thanks | |||
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"Feels like it's been a bit heavy on here lately ![]() I’ll do it In return for a wank ![]() | |||
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"I'm a slow cleaner, I'm afraid, Ms. Christmas, though thorough. But if anyone needs a poem analysed, or a bedtime story read to them, I'm your chap. As for what I need...I've been wrapping presents for hours and am so very tired and bored. Any help on that would be deeply appreciated. ![]() Oh I used to love wrapping gifts, coordinating papers, ribbons and bits... | |||
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"I can do an incredible sports massage, kneeding big muscles. I can offer wonderful sexual relief in exchange, as well as some great plant help " Oh why so far away !!! | |||
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"I’m a plasterer Xx" So can help with anything that needs spreading | |||
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"I’m still interested in Mary’s martinis. Mary, how about I do the cooking and you mix the drinks?" Deal! I just need to give Rex a wee wank first (shouldn't take long) but I'll wash my hands before I sort the drinks out ![]() | |||
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"I need someone to wrap the presents I bought all neatly and tidily. In return, I can clean and hoover (never miss out the skirting boards) and I can make a mean coffee ![]() Yay! Do you know how to wrap a piano? ![]() ![]() | |||
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"I can offer individual gift wrap, sewing, embroidery or crochet in return for sorting our bookshelves by category and author. Oooh... would you crochet me a cuddly penis toy? I saw them on etsy the other day and thought they were so cute. And consider the bookshelves done Posh ![]() That's entirely possible ![]() | |||
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"I can cook, bake, make canapes, make excellent cocktails, do you a chocolate and porter pairing. DS licenced security officer with cams. Possibly get one of my sexy security mates to strip for you. He's done a few gigs in the past. Body piercing, if anyone might like new adornments." Blimey you're very skilled! I would like a belly button piercing and a chocolate and porter pairing please I can embroider you something or make you a blanket of some description. | |||
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"I get my maids outfit then shall I ![]() Please teach me! I look like a penguin in heels. ![]() ![]() | |||
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"I’m still interested in Mary’s martinis. Mary, how about I do the cooking and you mix the drinks?" "Deal! I just need to give Rex a wee wank first (shouldn't take long) but I'll wash my hands before I sort the drinks out ![]() I can work with avant-garde ingredients, no problem. I’m pretty sure the Internet can provide some salty cocktail recipes … | |||
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"I can offer individual gift wrap, sewing, embroidery or crochet in return for sorting our bookshelves by category and author. Oooh... would you crochet me a cuddly penis toy? I saw them on etsy the other day and thought they were so cute. And consider the bookshelves done Posh ![]() ![]() I'll be round in a bit. Should only take about 6 hours to get there! Give you time to start on the penis (now I have typed it... that sounds not quite how I meant it to) Posh ![]() | |||
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"I can cook, bake, make canapes, make excellent cocktails, do you a chocolate and porter pairing. DS licenced security officer with cams. Possibly get one of my sexy security mates to strip for you. He's done a few gigs in the past. Body piercing, if anyone might like new adornments." Me too and cctv license and first aid and fire warden ![]() | |||
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"I have a tight calve that needs massaging and in return I’m really good with tools so anything that needs fixing I can do " Massage I can do and keep it professional. Make a pretty good real foliage door wreath if you want to welcome the guests... Guess we could use dried pineapple ![]() | |||
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"I can offer individual gift wrap, sewing, embroidery or crochet in return for sorting our bookshelves by category and author. Oooh... would you crochet me a cuddly penis toy? I saw them on etsy the other day and thought they were so cute. And consider the bookshelves done Posh ![]() ![]() ![]() I have looked through my yarn. I can do you one in a rainbow striped mohair or a sort of turquoise wool and cashmere mix. It depends how big you want the testicles and whether you want curcumcised or not ![]() | |||
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"I can cook, bake, make canapes, make excellent cocktails, do you a chocolate and porter pairing. DS licenced security officer with cams. Possibly get one of my sexy security mates to strip for you. He's done a few gigs in the past. Body piercing, if anyone might like new adornments. Me too and cctv license and first aid and fire warden ![]() Yeah got them too. Hopefully the party won't need first aid, no-one sets fire to anything and I dread to think that I'd catch on CCTV,so best not to watch ![]() | |||
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"I can cook, bake, make canapes, make excellent cocktails, do you a chocolate and porter pairing. DS licenced security officer with cams. Possibly get one of my sexy security mates to strip for you. He's done a few gigs in the past. Body piercing, if anyone might like new adornments. Me too and cctv license and first aid and fire warden ![]() ![]() Think that’s best some of sights on rewiew begger belief have to upgrade my sg three months ago another £300 ![]() | |||
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"I can do an incredible sports massage, kneeding big muscles. I can offer wonderful sexual relief in exchange, as well as some great plant help Oh why so far away !!!" I do travel a fair bit ![]() | |||
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