FabSwingers.com forum: Your fab value is based on sex

By *etcpl OP Couple
over a year ago

Gapping Fanny

Having a conversation with a few people.

How true do you feel the statement is that your value on here is based on your desirability or that your value is only if people can have sex with you?

For example, people lose interest in you once you become part of a couple.

Or how you are the most attractive person on the planet until you decline their advances.

Do you want to be valued as a person or just as a sexual object?

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By *RANDMRSJAECouple
over a year ago

chester

Not everyone I chat to on Fab wants to have sex with me and vice versa.

I feel valued enough in my life away from Fab so it’s not something I’ve thought too much about.

Now I’ve forgotten the OP

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
over a year ago

Central

I care less about my perceived value, than what I know myself to be, as well as how the people that matter, hold me in positive regard.

Any issues getting sex, I'd deal with it. I've been here for 15 years and am pretty stable

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By *RANDMRSJAECouple
over a year ago

chester

Oh yes, we reply to nearly all messages politely so no one is offended and they’ll always think I’m the sexiest woman on fab

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By *olden PoleMan
over a year ago

Kent

I’m on here as a person ready to be used for sexual gratification. I completely understand the dynamics of this site and have no issues with being ignored or blocked if I’m not what’s required. I like the social side of swing but isn’t that a byproduct of the sex we seek?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I promise everyone that shows interest in me can have sex with me.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

On fab your gorgeous until you dare say no thanks

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By *heVonMatterhornsCouple
over a year ago

Lincoln

As established during one of Sydney Uni's various studies, men are pieces of meat, so yes... that and I'm an attention whore

LvM

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By *ris GrayMan
over a year ago

Dorchester

I vant to be valued

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By *RANDMRSJAECouple
over a year ago

chester

"I vant to be valued

4 shillings

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By *ustamanMan
over a year ago

weymouth

More than enough folks have me in their friend box, it'd be nice to just be desired physically objectified if you must

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By *olden PoleMan
over a year ago

Kent

"I promise everyone that shows interest in me can have sex with me.

I want sex with Jaga not Jaea

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By *rFoxAndXenoCouple
over a year ago

Weymouth

Valued as a person. Not interested in people who only want my fanny, there's a person attached to it too!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You’re always going to be “the hottest person on fab” to the one that wants to have sex with you. Only a handful of times I’ve felt the comments people have made are actually genuine.

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By *ecadent_DevonMan
over a year ago

Okehampton

If you rely on other people to give you value, you must prepare for disappointment. Whether that’s on fab or in life.

Interactions on here are based on mutual attraction, a rejection or successful meeting are opposite sides of that coin, why people take rejection badly bamboozles me a little, it just wasn’t to be, no need to get upset really. If you still value yourself, rather than treating fab interaction as value currency to determine worth, you will be a lot happier.

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By *gent CoulsonMan
over a year ago

Secret hideaway in the pennines

I have called a stock holders meeting as my value on the fab market has taken a bit of a nose dive.

I am hoping that it is just a seasonal dip and that in the new year it will start to rise rapidly

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By *iscean_dreamMan
over a year ago

Llanelli

I know my own value, obviously it's nice to be desired though but hard to tell how delightful I am in person with me being so sarcastic on the forums

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

Since I hid my profile I've found more people talk to me without any hidden motive

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't understand the question. People have value if they won't fuck or have sexy pics for wanking over? Ridiculous.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

I feel that at base a high proportion of people's 'value' on any site like this is based on perceived attractiveness, ability to flirt, expressing opinions that chime with the popular minority and willingness to have sex. Pretty much like the real world

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

I don't particularly want to be valued by anyone on the net. They don't know me

There are one maybe two exceptions to this and 'they know who they are'

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I feel that at base a high proportion of people's 'value' on any site like this is based on perceived attractiveness, ability to flirt, expressing opinions that chime with the popular minority and willingness to have sex. Pretty much like the real world"

I totally agree with this and pretty much what I was going to write.

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By *etcpl OP Couple
over a year ago

Gapping Fanny

"I don't understand the question. People have value if they won't fuck or have sexy pics for wanking over? Ridiculous. "

I know right! If you aren’t putting out, or helping me wax my peen then you are dead to me!

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By *eliWoman
over a year ago

It's clear quite a few base their value on their "sexual desirability" you only have to look at the tad cringey flirting on the fora, the validation seeking, the conventional attractiveness, the ability to flirt with anything even if not actually attracted to them if it boosts your ego.

I don't think your value is based on desirability, I'd rather be seen as a person than a tight, gripping quim to fuck. But I'm not naive enough to think that others don't place value on someone's perceived fuckability.

I think people get hurt when interest is lost in them (when they partner up) because it does suggest their value isn't in them as a person.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I promise everyone that shows interest in me can have sex with me.

I'm off to Leeds then.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

I think one needs to know one's own value, personally and sexually and in the immortal words of my dear husband everyone else can just fuck right off.

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By *etcpl OP Couple
over a year ago

Gapping Fanny

"I don't particularly want to be valued by anyone on the net. They don't know me

There are one maybe two exceptions to this and 'they know who they are'

Its not so much your personal value, its about how people may perceive or interact with you on here based on hiw desirable you are.

Single women who end up in couples find their desirability wanes.

Single men, who were once part of a successful couple, find they are no longer as popular or in demand as they once were.

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By *etcpl OP Couple
over a year ago

Gapping Fanny

"If you rely on other people to give you value, you must prepare for disappointment. Whether that’s on fab or in life.

The curse of social media and how we seek validation from others?

The point is more about if your “social status” on fab is based upon the desirability (availability?) for sex?

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By *etcpl OP Couple
over a year ago

Gapping Fanny

"I promise everyone that shows interest in me can have sex with me.

Have you got any Brandy cream left?

#dealbreaker

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By *piderBunnyCouple
over a year ago

Back of Nowhere and Beyond

Fab value and (rest of) life value are completely different, and the nature of both is that they will spill over into the other. To what extent that happens is down to the individual.

The way I see it is yes, fab worth is entirely down to desirability, availability and prospect of sexy sex. And availability forms part of desirability as well. There are several people who began their fab journey as a single and found that they get less attention once they became half of a couple. That doesn't make their life value go down, but it does make their fab value go down sometimes as they're seen to be less available, regardless of whether their relationship is open to others or not. I'm not saying it is a bad thing, but it's what I have observed.

Your life value is different. Or should be. You are less likely to be valued purely on whether or not people want to have sex with you.

And your personal value is different again. How you see yourself will change, and will likely be changed by how others see you to varying degrees, but that's down to you. Mine is based too much on how people see me, but that's due to historically being put down over and over. If people tell you it enough during formative years and beyond you'll believe it. I'm working on that. But it does mean that my fab value doesn't affect my life or personal value very much. I don't see it, so don't expect others to and don't believe them really if they say they do (to a point anyway, I believe some people).

Real life value affects fab value as well... to a point. But that comes after the initial attraction a lot of the time, and for most people on fab (not necessarily the forum) they're not looking for friends that they're not going to be getting nekkid with. The lucky ones happen to find those connections though.

So... in short, yes. Fab value is sex based. But when real life value spills into fab... that's where the magic happens.

But what do I know. I'm just babbling. Sorry

Posh

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By *etcpl OP Couple
over a year ago

Gapping Fanny

"I think people get hurt when interest is lost in them (when they partner up) because it does suggest their value isn't in them as a person.

Thanks, that was where I was getting to.

That once your partner up and you somehow (real or not) come off the market, do people choose to interact with you less because there is nothing in it for them?

Why be civil or imitate some form of friendship when there is nothing in it for you?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I promise everyone that shows interest in me can have sex with me.

Have you got any Brandy cream left?

#dealbreaker"

I buy it in bulk.

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By *r Discreet 75Man
over a year ago

LIVERPOOL

I'll chat to anyone if I have the time ... it doesn't have to be about sex I think fab brings like minded people together so I think end up having sex with someone there's still an interest because we're all like minded people

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I promise everyone that shows interest in me can have sex with me.

Little untrue

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By *ily WhiteWoman
over a year ago

Of course people will be more attentive when they have a desire to have sex with you, it's a site where the majority of users are looking for sexual encounters of one kind or another. But there are also platonic friendships to be found.

I find the point about people losing interest once you're coupled up interesting, as I've found the opposite to be true...I've had plenty of menfolk tell me they're still very much interested, but they're respectful of the fact that I'm in a relationship and back away gracefully. Unfortunately that same respect isn't shown by some ladies in my experience.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"I don't particularly want to be valued by anyone on the net. They don't know me

There are one maybe two exceptions to this and 'they know who they are'

Its not so much your personal value, its about how people may perceive or interact with you on here based on hiw desirable you are.

Single women who end up in couples find their desirability wanes.

Single men, who were once part of a successful couple, find they are no longer as popular or in demand as they once were. "

I know all about waning desirability

. I'm 66 how many of the popular flirters do you think pick me? How many messages and fabs do you reckon we get? When we were younger we had many more.

I think that does speak to personal value though because so many people suffer from low self esteem based on other people finding them sexually attractive or not and is it any wonder.

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By *2000ManMan
over a year ago

Worthing

I use fab as a social club. Share thoughts, ideas and humour. Not bothered about being valued as such.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Having a conversation with a few people.

How true do you feel the statement is that your value on here is based on your desirability or that your value is only if people can have sex with you?

For example, people lose interest in you once you become part of a couple.

Or how you are the most attractive person on the planet until you decline their advances.

Do you want to be valued as a person or just as a sexual object?"

So true, I think most people are just interested in black people or big cocks. Seems a bit racist!

But if that's how it is, then obviously people lose interest

And that's why most people are classed as a sexual objects or sluts

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By *rHotNottsMan
over a year ago

Dubai & Nottingham

Different people in fab will value different things , conversation, friendship, sexual. I would say it’s fairly even split on those 3 in the forums.

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By *aretobareCouple
over a year ago

Central Portugal

We are a bit crap at understanding who fancies us - we didn't realise until 4 days in and a foam party who was attracted to us when we were on holiday, we would imagine the same is probably true here. Saying that there have been some awesome witty answers such as until you say no!

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By *ecadent_DevonMan
over a year ago

Okehampton

"If you rely on other people to give you value, you must prepare for disappointment. Whether that’s on fab or in life.

The curse of social media and how we seek validation from others?

The point is more about if your “social status” on fab is based upon the desirability (availability?) for sex?"

Well I’m a single fella so I would say that my fab value is low based on numbers and opportunity. I also can’t accommodate and many view that with suspicion, which is fair enough. I don’t think that being a single fella is directly related to my value, I’m just in a lucky dip barrel with more surprises than sawdust, so that fab value is watered down somewhat

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Like most relationships in all contexts, we usually bring something to the table that's desired or they fizzle out?

I'm under no delusion...im a commodity to some people and if I'm not offering what they want, then I'm no use. BUT why else would they interact?

So yes, my value is based on sexual appeal and chemistry on fab, which is hard to convey in the cattle market

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By *lephantisMan
over a year ago

Oxford

I've honestly been pleasantly surprised at the numbers of lovely friendships I have formed here. I've been treated more as a human being here than on other far less ostensibly sexual sites.

But, contrary to perceived wisdom, I think men have it far easier on here. Our experience is heavily filtered, curated, as it were, by sheer demographics, so the proportion of timewasters and liars is hugely reduced.

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By *olly_chromaticTV/TS
over a year ago

Stockport

I have fab friends who value me as a person. On the other hand my sex value appears to be somewhere between sod all and absolutely nothing.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I promise everyone that shows interest in me can have sex with me.

Now that sounds like a plan, and notice you got strap on in photo so maybe it’s u fking me haha ??

Also I’m bi

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I’ve accepted the fact that men here are basically organic dildos. We’re like the aliens in Toy Story and women are the claw. If they pick you it’s a big old a case of farewell friends, I go on to a better place.

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By *stbury DavenportMan
over a year ago

Nottingham

"Having a conversation with a few people.

How true do you feel the statement is that your value on here is based on your desirability or that your value is only if people can have sex with you?

For example, people lose interest in you once you become part of a couple.

Or how you are the most attractive person on the planet until you decline their advances.

Do you want to be valued as a person or just as a sexual object?"

I personally wish to valued solely as a sexual object.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I need both in equal measure.

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By *ellinever70Woman
over a year ago

Ayrshire

If I was only valued as a sexual object, I wouldn't value myself

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I’m like the Tesco value range. Cut price but still good for Fab. Or Aldi, you like them, you might like me!

I talk to people who don’t want sex with me I’m sure, but I think people do lose interest in you though, why? It could be alsorts of reasons.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I promise everyone that shows interest in me can have sex with me.

Have you got any Brandy cream left?

#dealbreaker

I buy it in bulk."

More to the point, have you dunked your cookies in it yet?

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By *ris GrayMan
over a year ago

Dorchester

"I vant to be valued

4 shillings

"
I vanna be a trump

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By *ad NannaWoman
over a year ago

East London

Most people who talk to me would have sex with me if I said yes. I'm a she'll do fuck.

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By *oiluvfunMan
over a year ago

Penrith

Do you want to be valued as a person or just as a sexual object?"

I find it a massive turn-on that people want me as a whole package, not just a quick bunk-up in a long line of bunk-ups with a rating out of 10.

The ironies of Fab;

posting veris can lose you connections;

not posting veris makes you less attractive, whereas posting regularly can make more people want to meet you….

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By *ehindHerEyesCouple
over a year ago

SomewhereOnlyWeKnow

"I don't particularly want to be valued by anyone on the net. They don't know me

There are one maybe two exceptions to this and 'they know who they are'

Its not so much your personal value, its about how people may perceive or interact with you on here based on hiw desirable you are.

Single women who end up in couples find their desirability wanes.

Single men, who were once part of a successful couple, find they are no longer as popular or in demand as they once were. "

This....

It certainly shows the 'friendships' were designed on what was potentially in it and when that changes (or not when it's stated it will still be an open door for others to join) those 'friendships' disappear, interactions that once occurred become less to the point of zero after a while, or you're just outright blanked or ignored.

So yes while it doesn't affect me overall value in life per se it certainly does make you think about how people see you on here and question yourself.

Tinder

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'd love to be a Sex Object! After getting Wordle first guess it's my ultimate life goal.

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By *RANDMRSJAECouple
over a year ago

chester

"I'd love to be a Sex Object! After getting Wordle first guess it's my ultimate life goal.

Are you kidding?

Today?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'd love to be a Sex Object! After getting Wordle first guess it's my ultimate life goal.

Are you kidding?

Today?

No, not done it yet so it's still No.1

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By *adeiteWoman
over a year ago

Staffordshire

I couldn't give a toss about a strangers opinion of me.

My self worth is the only thing that matters, not the views of some idiot hiding behind a keyboard self projecting.

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By *RANDMRSJAECouple
over a year ago

chester

"I'd love to be a Sex Object! After getting Wordle first guess it's my ultimate life goal.

Are you kidding?

Today?

No, not done it yet so it's still No.1

Phew!!!

I think it’s on my list of top priorities too

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By *esparate danMan
over a year ago

glasgow

"I don't particularly want to be valued by anyone on the net. They don't know me

There are one maybe two exceptions to this and 'they know who they are'

Its not so much your personal value, its about how people may perceive or interact with you on here based on hiw desirable you are.

Single women who end up in couples find their desirability wanes.

Single men, who were once part of a successful couple, find they are no longer as popular or in demand as they once were.

This....

So yes while it doesn't affect me overall value in life per se it certainly does make you think about how people see you on here and question yourself.

Tinder"

Perhaps with prominent profiles ownership is the prize. After that has been achieved there are just less people who might want to borrow or steal the prize

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