FabSwingers.com forum: Fed up...

By *issHottieBottie OP Woman
over a year ago

Kent

Up until a week or so ago I was looking forward to Christmas, was nice and organised, had made arrangements with the ex for him to have our son for a few hours in the morning to visit family on Xmas day and stuff seemed ok.

Since then I've had a close friend commit suicude, found out my ex (who most of the time I don't really think about) is taking his part time bit of stuff on a day out doing something identical to what we did every year we were together as a tradition (I was tempted to ask if she wanted to borrow some of my clothes to wear), I've been stood up TWICE by my FB who was meant to be over, last night leaving me all dressed up and feeling like a right c*nt.

I can't stop thinking about my friend and how miserable he must of been to do something so drastic, and I feel terrible that no one had any idea he felt that way.

I look at my son and feel awful that I couldn't hold the relationship with his dad together and that he won't be here when he wakes up Xmas morning.

I just cannot shake this off. I'm fucking miserable and I hate it!!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Right stop there!!! Many relationships break down don't feel guilty, your son might be happier now better than him seeing a unhappy mummy and daddy. As for the ex let him take the new bit, remember they are yours and his memories he might be trying to re live. If a guy did that to me as his new gf I would be furious!!! I'm sorry about your friend, it's hard anytime of year let alone Xmas and unfortunatly people can be that low to 'do it', he onvioulsy knew what he was doing and wanted that so try raise a glass to him, although some say he is selfish for the hurt he leaves behind he's brave to for doing it something when I was at my lowest point didn't have the guts for. (Big hugs) to you Hun be thinking of you x

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

All of what you mention are things that you cannot control.

It sounds like you are fed up with how your life has developed in general and using these as reasons for feeling low.

I know first hand how hard it is to lose a close friend, I know first hand how hard it is to see a person you love (or loved) with someone else and them being happy when you aren't.

Please do not beat yourself up for things you cannot control.

Ensure the your little lad has the best Christmas he can, take pride and satisfaction in that - and aim to improve your own situation in the New Year.

Nothing good happens overnight, but slowly but surely you will regain your happiness.

Keep smiling and you know that when its needed, your friends in here will always supply the support and hugs you may be uncomfortable in asking for elsewhere xx

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Right stop there!!! Many relationships break down don't feel guilty, your son might be happier now better than him seeing a unhappy mummy and daddy. As for the ex let him take the new bit, remember they are yours and his memories he might be trying to re live. If a guy did that to me as his new gf I would be furious!!! I'm sorry about your friend, it's hard anytime of year let alone Xmas and unfortunatly people can be that low to 'do it', he onvioulsy knew what he was doing and wanted that so try raise a glass to him, although some say he is selfish for the hurt he leaves behind he's brave to for doing it something when I was at my lowest point didn't have the guts for. (Big hugs) to you Hun be thinking of you x"

THIS THIS THIS!

Get busy living, or get busy dying. Only you can decide.

I hope the next couple of days change your mood and you have lovely xmas. You deserve it. X

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Your son's lucky to have a mum that cares so much , kids are a lot tougher than most adults , sorry to hear about your friend but you can't blame yourself for that .

If your lad see's you unhappy it'll rub off on him, try to be positive things are never as bad as they seem

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

i will say this.

i noticed this lady in chat last night and she looked lovely. she had taken a bit of time to make herself look stunning for her met and he let her down.

it baffles me why people treat each other so bad at times. clearly a nice young woman who just wants to feel good in what is a difficult time and she was badly let down.

i have been lucky to chat to her and exchange messages and she comes across as a honest caring mum.

you know im here sweetheart and no problem is to big to share.

im thinking about you and a little concerned so you make sure you stay in touch so i know your ok.

your a good mum and care. i know a lot of single mums who do not make the effort you do.

as ive told you, so it will be another year and things will change.

looks bad now but you wait and see, someone will change the way your feeling and a new year brings new opportunities.

and come on. your a lovely looking woman.

just had a bit of bad luck.

it will change and you will be smiling soon xxxxxx

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You have the most precious thing in the world - your son. Make it the best Xmas he has ever had.

I have tried to message you but you have your filters on. If you ever want to talk to somebody I would be glad to.

Chin up gorgeous x

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *isscheekychopsWoman
over a year ago

The land of grey peas and bacon

I am so sorry to hear about your friend...life is cruel...as for your ex he is an ex for a reason..just remember your son adores you....to him you are mum. please don't let the actions of your ex get you down and raise a glass to your friend... as for your fb...move on and get another... I really hope you start smiling again...I learnt a valuable lesson the other day don't hold on to things that are not meant to be held onto...xxx

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Your son's lucky to have a mum that cares so much , kids are a lot tougher than most adults , sorry to hear about your friend but you can't blame yourself for that .

If your lad see's you unhappy it'll rub off on him, try to be positive things are never as bad as they seem

This is very true and I'd like to add, Kids don't have the cognitive skills to truly understand the concept of empathy until they're in their teens sometimes.

If he sees you upset a lot he may not understand why and start to blame himself or think It's something he has done. Make sure he understands too, children are a ray of sunshine on your worst days, but if they think you are upset with them or don't like them they can become very withdrawn in a short about of time.

As the others said all of these issues are out of your control and maybe the feeling of being fed up is more inclined to feeling helpless.

But remember time heels and it may be a harsh time for you now but it'll get better.

I've gone though depression and suffered anxiety myself sometimes you just need to get it all out and you've taken the first step by expressing it here, if you start to feel worst go and see you GP, I was hesitant at first but it did really help.

I hope you start to feel better soon, take care. X

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I agree with everything that's been said .. Big hugs and xxxx

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *londeCazWoman
over a year ago

Arse End of the Universe, Cumbria

I can only comment on the bit about you and your ex not managing to keep it together for your son...I don't know how old he is, but I'm from a home where my parents stayed together "for the sake of the kids" and knew at a very early age that there was something wrong between my parents - they honestly didn't do us kids any favours by staying together, and it took a while for us kids to come to terms with our parents' issues - I'd say your lad is better off with 2 mostly happy single parents than a miserable family unit. Thinking of you and sending you festive hugs xxx

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

It's been a difficult week for you, on top of a difficult time. You are sad about the loss of your friend. That's all natural. Know that your son loves you and needs you and that there was nothing you could do for your friend.

I hope you feel better soon.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *empting Devil.Woman
over a year ago

Sheffield

Your ex has just shown why he's your ex.

He has no initiative or sensitivity. The tradition he had with you was successful so instead of looking for a new one he's just going to recycle the old one.

Want to bet he hasn't modified his moves in the bedroom either!

So he's an infuriating letdown - you already knew this!

As far as your friend is concerned I can only offer virtual hugs. By the time someone suicides they have reached such an inward looking point of depression and distress that no matter what you had done or said they would have found a way. No comfort I know. I wish I could offer more. Christmas is a hard time, not just for those who are struggling but for those who watch and love and feel helpless.

However you always have a place to go to share your angst and anger and frustration and sorrow - odd isn't it that a bunch of internet perving swingers can be such a strong community!

But there is love and affection and shoulders to cry on in droves. Use us, we like it!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Up until a week or so ago I was looking forward to Christmas, was nice and organised, had made arrangements with the ex for him to have our son for a few hours in the morning to visit family on Xmas day and stuff seemed ok.

I can't stop thinking about my friend and how miserable he must of been to do something so drastic, and I feel terrible that no one had any idea he felt that way.

I look at my son and feel awful that I couldn't hold the relationship with his dad together and that he won't be here when he wakes up Xmas morning.

I just cannot shake this off. I'm fucking miserable and I hate it!!

Off out soon and doing pics so not read your replies however just to say I am thinking of you.

To cheer you up I'll send you a pic;-)

Xxxxx

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *issHottieBottie OP Woman
over a year ago

Kent

I can't stop thinking about my friend and how miserable he must of been to do something so drastic, and I feel terrible that no one had any idea he felt that way.

I look at my son and feel awful that I couldn't hold the relationship with his dad together and that he won't be here when he wakes up Xmas morning.

I just cannot shake this off. I'm fucking miserable and I hate it!!

Off out soon and doing pics so not read your replies however just to say I am thinking of you.

To cheer you up I'll send you a pic;-)

Xxxxx"

Oooh really. Merry Xmas me! Thank you xxx

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

Post new Message to Thread