FabSwingers.com forum: Cheat detectives

By *nabelle21 OP Woman
over a year ago

B38

Have you seen those TikTok tok videos?

Honey trap-

Cheat detectives.

Have you ever been in a relationship and didn't have trust in your partner?

There are people setting their partners up to see how trustworthy they are.

If you suspected your partner had the potential to be unfaithful would you set them up?

Has this ever been done to you? If so how did it make you feel? And did you pass the test?

Can you imagine being set up, passing the test and then finding out about it!

I would be so hurt and angry.

The relationship would be over.

I wouldn't want a relationship where there was any kind of manipulation and mistrust.

I certainly wouldn't want to have to prove myself.

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By *ittleMissCaliWoman
over a year ago

all loved up

Not quite the same but 20 plus years ago I found the man I was engaged to and having a baby with , was actually engaged and having a baby with another girl.. this led us to talk and discover their was more than us.

We got one of the other girls to arrange to meet him and when they started to get busy the other fiancée and I let ourselves in... he was apparently hurt that we would set him up like that x

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

I mentioned this the other day. I caught my ex out in a huge lie, he said he'd done it to test me.

. I was angry, hurt and incredulous. It was actually a desperate attempt to justify his lying but whatever it's not a nice feeling because it implies mistrust (ironic

) and control.

I wouldn't do it to anybody and have nothing but contempt for anyone who does it

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By *nabelle21 OP Woman
over a year ago

B38

"Not quite the same but 20 plus years ago I found the man I was engaged to and having a baby with , was actually engaged and having a baby with another girl.. this led us to talk and discover their was more than us.

We got one of the other girls to arrange to meet him and when they started to get busy the other fiancée and I let ourselves in... he was apparently hurt that we would set him up like that x "

OMG I can only imagine how truly shocking and awful that was for you x

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

Oh and from the above it doesn't take Sherlock Holmes to work out that I have been in a relationship where I didn't trust my partner

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

No. I would never set someone up. If I didn't have complete trust in them I wouldn't be in the relationship

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By *nabelle21 OP Woman
over a year ago

B38

"I mentioned this the other day. I caught my ex out in a huge lie, he said he'd done it to test me.

. I was angry, hurt and incredulous. It was actually a desperate attempt to justify his lying but whatever it's not a nice feeling because it implies mistrust (ironic

) and control.

I wouldn't do it to anybody and have nothing but contempt for anyone who does it"

Don't you just hate that when a liar tries to turn the tables!

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

We got one of the other girls to arrange to meet him and when they started to get busy the other fiancée and I let ourselves in... he was apparently hurt that we would set him up like that x "

To me that's a perfectly valid reason to set someone up. You're acting on fact not suspicion.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"I mentioned this the other day. I caught my ex out in a huge lie, he said he'd done it to test me.

. I was angry, hurt and incredulous. It was actually a desperate attempt to justify his lying but whatever it's not a nice feeling because it implies mistrust (ironic

) and control.

I wouldn't do it to anybody and have nothing but contempt for anyone who does it

Don't you just hate that when a liar tries to turn the tables!"

Yep. He did it all the time, it's laughable now

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By *nabelle21 OP Woman
over a year ago

B38

We got one of the other girls to arrange to meet him and when they started to get busy the other fiancée and I let ourselves in... he was apparently hurt that we would set him up like that x

To me that's a perfectly valid reason to set someone up. You're acting on fact not suspicion."

I completely agree

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By *eliWoman
over a year ago

I've been "tested" before in a relationship when younger and it a) really pissed me off and b) made me realise it was over. If you get to the point you're questioning/doubting things, it's not a good sign is it?

I'd never do it to another person. If I'm dating someone, I don't expect monogamy. But I do expect respect and honesty. The minute I start doubting whether someone is capable of being honest and open with me, it's not working clearly.

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By *nabelle21 OP Woman
over a year ago

B38

"No. I would never set someone up. If I didn't have complete trust in them I wouldn't be in the relationship"

Now this is my go to answer but after reading above....I can understand it.

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By *nabelle21 OP Woman
over a year ago

B38

"I've been "tested" before in a relationship when younger and it a) really pissed me off and b) made me realise it was over. If you get to the point you're questioning/doubting things, it's not a good sign is it?

I am pretty much the same in that I don't expect monogamy. But I do demand respect and honesty.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No I would never set someone up or test them. I hate liars and cheats but I'll trust someone until they give me a reason not to then walk away.

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By *nabelle21 OP Woman
over a year ago

B38

Demand sounds, well, demanding. I do except respect and honest... otherwise I'd be gone.

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By *eliWoman
over a year ago

I am pretty much the same in that I don't expect monogamy. But I do demand respect and honesty."

Yes, it's a bare minimum thing isn't it? If someone can't be honest with you when you're dating them, what's the point of being with them? And if you can't trust them to be honest, it's the same thing.

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By *agerMorganMan
over a year ago

Canvey Island

I had an ex who kept testing me, so I played her at her own game and found out she was messaging other guys, sending images etc.

So I dodged a bullet

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By *nabelle21 OP Woman
over a year ago

B38

"No I would never set someone up or test them. I hate liars and cheats but I'll trust someone until they give me a reason not to then walk away. "

This for me

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By *inaTitzTV/TS
over a year ago

Titz Towers, North Notts

If trust has broken down to this extent, it's possibly not the strongest relationship, anyway. So you may as well put a load of Lego around their side of the bed anyway.

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By *ittleMissCaliWoman
over a year ago

all loved up

However it seems I'm doomed to always pick a cheating guy.. as every partner I've ever had has got caught out.. so now I don't date. Much happier......would I set up my Partner If I suspected... yes I would but... I would have to have genuine suspensions

One I caught out by telling him that I'd been told all about the other women.. I hadn't. I'd seen a random text that he then deleted and claimed it was nothing. And it didn't sit right with me I made a guess... he broke down and said it was a relief that I knew. He seemed shocked that I left with me being a swinger..... thing is he knew about my other dalliance.

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By *nabelle21 OP Woman
over a year ago

B38

"If trust has broken down to this extent, it's possibly not the strongest relationship, anyway. So you may as well put a load of Lego around their side of the bed anyway.

I'm liking the Lego idea

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If I doubted them enough to even think about this, I'd just end it.

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By *nabelle21 OP Woman
over a year ago

B38

"I had an ex who kept testing me, so I played her at her own game and found out she was messaging other guys, sending images etc.

So I dodged a bullet "

The old distraction technique!

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

It would be hard to cheat on me as I've always said in all my relationships you can shag who you like just tell me. Some of them where shocked but I've never knowingly had someone be unfaithful to me

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By *nabelle21 OP Woman
over a year ago

B38

"However it seems I'm doomed to always pick a cheating guy.. as every partner I've ever had has got caught out.. so now I don't date. Much happier......would I set up my Partner If I suspected... yes I would but... I would have to have genuine suspensions

When you have had your kind of experiences then it's maybe understandable, and I suppose you have to do what's right for you.

As if people think that because we are swingers we condone cheating!

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By *nabelle21 OP Woman
over a year ago

B38

"If I doubted them enough to even think about this, I'd just end it.

It's no way to live being in doubt of someone, that's for sure

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By *eliWoman
over a year ago

"It would be hard to cheat on me as I've always said in all my relationships you can shag who you like just tell me. Some of them where shocked but I've never knowingly had someone be unfaithful to me"

But sometimes people don't want to tell you. Even though you have that openness, actively encourage it, if they lie and you find out after, is that cheating? I think it's more down to the people in a dynamic rather than having that openness.

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By *nabelle21 OP Woman
over a year ago

B38

Glad to hear it

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By *nabelle21 OP Woman
over a year ago

B38

As ever Meli, words of wisdom

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By *ittleMissCaliWoman
over a year ago

all loved up

When you have had your kind of experiences then it's maybe understandable, and I suppose you have to do what's right for you.

As if people think that because we are swingers we condone cheating!

"
thing is I used to trust until something happened and I couldn't.

Now its jaded me and I don't trust from the onset. Id probably be very testing if I ever got in a relationship again.. which isn't fair.. and partly why I remain single

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

I can understand trying to find out if you have genuine suspicions. It's testing when you have no grounds to doubt a person that I find distasteful. When I see men offering to text unaware partners on here I shudder at the thought process on both sides.

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By *edstockings2Couple
over a year ago

Ilfracombe

We have have an understanding that we can meet up with anyone we like and do what ever. I (female) said that I would never be faithful and I didn't expect him to be. As long as it's just sex. X

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By *agerMorganMan
over a year ago

Canvey Island

"I had an ex who kept testing me, so I played her at her own game and found out she was messaging other guys, sending images etc.

So I dodged a bullet

The old distraction technique!

Oh that’s putting it nicely, she was accusing me of cheating, flirting, being in Facebook groups etc. It’s only when my gut instinct kicked in that I went and did some digging and hey presto the rest is history.

Ah well, got shot so that’s all in the past

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By *ittleMissCaliWoman
over a year ago

all loved up

"We have have an understanding that we can meet up with anyone we like and do what ever. I (female) said that I would never be faithful and I didn't expect him to be. As long as it's just sex. X

I'm like this hence I didn't understand the length that my exes went to when lying to me about it. Had they said.. "I'm messaging this nice lady who wants to jump me" I'd have loved it.

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By *eroLondonMan
over a year ago

Covent Garden

"Oh and from the above it doesn't take Sherlock Holmes to work out that I have been in a relationship where I didn't trust my partner

Noted. For future reference and any potential subterfuge.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Are the videos real ? So much on tik tok is just faked for clicks.

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By *lackshadow7Man
over a year ago

Toronto

Tale as old as time

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By *ellinever70Woman
over a year ago

Ayrshire

I can't see that anything good would come of a relationship if one partner did this

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

I've seen one woman who does this and shows the resulting messages. I don't like it, what's this woman's agenda, why is she doing it?

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By *nightsoftheCoffeeTableCouple
over a year ago

Leeds

There are groups on F-book that do this too, it's crazy although 9 times out of 10 soon as they post a photo of the guy there's at least 1 woman already chatting to him.

Mrs

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I can't see that anything good would come of a relationship if one partner did this "

I wonder how many times they are both cheating ?

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