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Swedish Chimpanzee Masacre

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By *ssex_tom OP   Man
over a year ago

Chelmsford

Reports that marksman have been shooting escaped chimpanzees in Sweden. At least Four shot dead, one injured and others on the run. Let's hope they get the rest before a human is attacked.

It's all over the Swedish news.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ridiculous they can't just tranquilize them. Chimps are our close relations Tom !

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By *iltsTSgirlTV/TS
over a year ago

chichester

planet of the apes I tell you , its starting for real .. end times are incoming .. screw climate change its going to be all out war of these hairy little heathens vs us

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By *ssex_tom OP   Man
over a year ago

Chelmsford


"Ridiculous they can't just tranquilize them. Chimps are our close relations Tom ! "

Tom just reporting not judging.

Tom just hopes nobody is hurt

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No one was hurt but their lady keeper is devastated and as the kill order was inappropriate there is an inquiry now. Saw it on tw sad.


"Ridiculous they can't just tranquilize them. Chimps are our close relations Tom !

Tom just reporting not judging.

Tom just hopes nobody is hurt "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Swedish Chimpanzee Massacre. Aren't they on tour with Children of Bodom at the moment?

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By *amspoonsMan
over a year ago

North East


"Swedish Chimpanzee Massacre. Aren't they on tour with Children of Bodom at the moment? "

Swedish House Mafia tribute band?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Why am I thinking of the swedish muppet taking a shot.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"planet of the apes I tell you , its starting for real"

Can I play the piano anymore?

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By *ssex_tom OP   Man
over a year ago

Chelmsford

What has happened to the chimps on the run?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The French must be behind it

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By *ittleMissCaliWoman
over a year ago

all loved up


"Ridiculous they can't just tranquilize them. Chimps are our close relations Tom !

Tom just reporting not judging.

Tom just hopes nobody is hurt "

somebody has been more than hurt... the dead chimps.. tragic

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By *ssex_tom OP   Man
over a year ago

Chelmsford

Are these aggressive monkeys all dead do we know?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Ridiculous they can't just tranquilize them. Chimps are our close relations Tom !

Tom just reporting not judging.

Tom just hopes nobody is hurt somebody has been more than hurt... the dead chimps.. tragic "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"What has happened to the chimps on the run? "
my favourite 60 boy band mash up.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"What has happened to Chimps on the Run? "

Paul McCartney's lost masterpiece.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Apparently the zoo did not have enough anesthetic to make tranquillisers for all the chimps.

Which is scandalous. Surely a zoo should be required to keep enough quantity to knock out a couple of Elephants just in case.

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By *ssex_tom OP   Man
over a year ago

Chelmsford

Are there any still on the loose...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

They sent a team from hartlepool to hang the rest

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By *ictoria_1976TV/TS
over a year ago

Bodmin

It's all over the zoo's!

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By *ssex_tom OP   Man
over a year ago

Chelmsford


"They sent a team from hartlepool to hang the rest "

Those Hartlepoolers have form...

Monkeyhangers

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Justice for Harambe

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By *ssex_tom OP   Man
over a year ago

Chelmsford

[Removed by poster at 17/12/22 22:44:18]

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By *ssex_tom OP   Man
over a year ago

Chelmsford

Are they all now caught ?

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By *ictoria_1976TV/TS
over a year ago

Bodmin


"Are they all now caught ?"

I couldn't give a monkeys!

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By *ovespudsMan
over a year ago

Swindon

Hey hey, we're The Monkeys, we're just trying to be friendly.......

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By *icolerobbieCouple
over a year ago

walsall

Arctic monkeys?

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By *emma HoldenTV/TS
over a year ago

Ramsey


"The French must be behind it "

Waterloo?

I blame Benny & Bjorn

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By *unmatt888Man
over a year ago

Duns


"Swedish Chimpanzee Massacre. Aren't they on tour with Children of Bodom at the moment? "

I thought it might be a what3words address, but the closest match looks like sheepish chimpanzee massager.

Which funnily enough is one of the items on my Amazon wishlist.

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By *lynJMan
over a year ago

Morden


"Are these aggressive monkeys all dead do we know?"

The chimps are primates, not monkeys.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Are these aggressive monkeys all dead do we know?

The chimps are primates, not monkeys."

How do you know what their pronouns are?

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By *penbicoupleCouple
over a year ago

Northampton


"Are these aggressive monkeys all dead do we know?"

Chimps aren't monkeys!

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By *andyfloss2000Woman
over a year ago

ashford

Us humans are beyond cruel and vile! Poor chimps! x

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By *TG3Man
over a year ago

Dorchester


"Reports that marksman have been shooting escaped chimpanzees in Sweden. At least Four shot dead, one injured and others on the run. Let's hope they get the rest before a human is attacked.

It's all over the Swedish news."

they're the kings of the swingers that's a shame, where they escape from a zoo?

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By *asycouple1971Couple
over a year ago

midlands

Read that as mascara..its early, still asleep.

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By *otsMan
over a year ago

Higham

Artic monkeys

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Are these aggressive monkeys all dead do we know?

The chimps are primates, not monkeys."

They are apes like ourselves.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Just read the report. The chimps escaped their enclosure but were contained in a building within the zoo. Shooting them seems rather harsh

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By *arlomaleMan
over a year ago

darlington

Good job it’s not Hartlepool

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By *ssex_tom OP   Man
over a year ago

Chelmsford

Jeez .. these Darwin types always obsessed with species naming.

In Toms world. If it looks like a monkey and walks like a monkey then it's a bloomin monkey

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By *unmatt888Man
over a year ago

Duns


"Jeez .. these Darwin types always obsessed with species naming.

In Toms world. If it looks like a monkey and walks like a monkey then it's a bloomin monkey"

They don’t look like monkeys though. No tail.

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By *ob Carpe DiemMan
over a year ago

Torquay


"Apparently the zoo did not have enough anesthetic to make tranquillisers for all the chimps.

Which is scandalous. Surely a zoo should be required to keep enough quantity to knock out a couple of Elephants just in case."

What two elephants as well?

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By *elvet RopeMan
over a year ago

by the big field


"Jeez .. these Darwin types always obsessed with species naming.

In Toms world. If it looks like a monkey and walks like a monkey then it's a bloomin monkey"

But is it a poisonous bugger Tom? give us the fact Man!

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By *oxy jWoman
over a year ago

somerset

they should not be in cages in the first place

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"they should not be in cages in the first place "

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By *ssex_tom OP   Man
over a year ago

Chelmsford


"they should not be in cages in the first place

"

They shod be left in the wild ..

And they are evil buggers in the wild capable of murder..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"they should not be in cages in the first place

They shod be left in the wild ..

And they are evil buggers in the wild capable of murder.. "

Like their cousins Homo Sapiens, Tom.

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By *ssex_tom OP   Man
over a year ago

Chelmsford

It has been document that these monkeys can be tribal in the wild and band together to commit horrible murders against other monkey interlopers..

Tom wishes it was all PG Tips adverts but these buggers as adults can be truly vicious..

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By *iltsTSgirlTV/TS
over a year ago

chichester


"It has been document that these monkeys can be tribal in the wild and band together to commit horrible murders against other monkey interlopers..

Tom wishes it was all PG Tips adverts but these buggers as adults can be truly vicious.. "

they get eaten by lots of things in wild so dont worry , nature balances itself out in the animal kingdom .. much like humans balance ourselves out with big wars every 50 years ish or so

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By *ensualbicockMan
over a year ago

liverpool wavertree picton clock

I've just got a mental image of Blond Chimpanzees looking for a sauna

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By *ssex_tom OP   Man
over a year ago

Chelmsford

To be fair to the zoo authorities they had to be stopped and quickly in case a young child or human was injured.. a marauding troop of chimpanzee Monkees is very dangerous. They will kill you without any sense of conscience. This is what sets the human above the monkey..

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By *andyfloss2000Woman
over a year ago

ashford


"To be fair to the zoo authorities they had to be stopped and quickly in case a young child or human was injured.. a marauding troop of chimpanzee Monkees is very dangerous. They will kill you without any sense of conscience. This is what sets the human above the monkey.. "

I beg to differ! X

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Reports that marksman have been shooting escaped chimpanzees in Sweden. At least Four shot dead, one injured and others on the run. Let's hope they get the rest before a human is attacked.

It's all over the Swedish news."

Are you sure they were not Liverpool fans on the run

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By *elvet RopeMan
over a year ago

by the big field


".. a marauding troop of chimpanzee Monkees is very dangerous. They will kill you without any sense of conscience. This is what sets the human above the monkey.. "

I'm assuming you've never heard of the Tory Party then Tom?

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By *ed-monkeyCouple
over a year ago

Hailsham


"Are these aggressive monkeys all dead do we know?

The chimps are primates, not monkeys.

They are apes like ourselves."

Indeed, monkeys are primates too ... but I wouldn't know of course

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By *emma HoldenTV/TS
over a year ago

Ramsey

Someone has been spanking his monkey & I think we all know who....

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By *lecom1Couple
over a year ago

Stornoway

Wasn't there a Black Mirror episode where a chimp went on the rampage?

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By *aptain OrgMan
over a year ago

Glasgow

That was ‘Shoot, Baby Shoot’ by Swedish Chimpanzee Masacre, from the forthcoming album ‘Fuck, Look At The Teeth On That’.

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By *TG3Man
over a year ago

Dorchester


"they should not be in cages in the first place

They shod be left in the wild ..

And they are evil buggers in the wild capable of murder.. "

lol hey have you seen the films planet of the Apes I mean they can talk and think sheeesh

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By *luebell888Woman
over a year ago

Glasgowish


"they should not be in cages in the first place

They shod be left in the wild ..

And they are evil buggers in the wild capable of murder.. "

I saw a programme once about a group of men who were chased by chimpanzees in the wild. They ate all the flesh from one mans bones. They are evil.

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By *TG3Man
over a year ago

Dorchester


"they should not be in cages in the first place

They shod be left in the wild ..

And they are evil buggers in the wild capable of murder..

I saw a programme once about a group of men who were chased by chimpanzees in the wild. They ate all the flesh from one mans bones. They are evil."

they were just hungry

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By *ssex_tom OP   Man
over a year ago

Chelmsford

Tom saw one of those nature programmes once and the chimpanzees were literally like a pack of wolves..

They used weapons to kill another chimp from a different troup.. and what did these fiming types do... sweet FA and that is why Tom is no fan of Richard Attenborough..

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By *escourtesMan
over a year ago

hereford

All sounds a bit bananas....

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By *ssex_tom OP   Man
over a year ago

Chelmsford

These buggers were like savages...no humanity in them..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"These buggers were like savages...no humanity in them.. "

They will never be as bad as humans can be. We are supposed to be civilised but over the centuries we have committed so many atrocities and now we are trashing the planet too

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By *ictoria_1976TV/TS
over a year ago

Bodmin


"These buggers were like savages...no humanity in them.. "

Well they're not humans so of course there's no humanity in them ..

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By *ssex_tom OP   Man
over a year ago

Chelmsford

These buggers attack . Watch planet earth...

Vile creatures

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By *elvet RopeMan
over a year ago

by the big field


"Tom saw one of those nature programmes once and the chimpanzees were literally like a pack of wolves..

They used weapons to kill another chimp from a different troup..."

Wolves don't use weapons Tom, they use teeth and claws...because they don't have opposable thumbs, or they'd all have AK47's

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"These buggers attack . Watch planet earth...

Vile creatures"

umm they are animals. If you can not adjusted and protect yourself to the environment you are in well.. You are just a snack. Blame the animal for your ignorance.

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By *andyfloss2000Woman
over a year ago

ashford


"These buggers attack . Watch planet earth...

Vile creatures"

No it's us humans that are the vile creatures! X

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 21/12/22 03:17:34]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Reports that marksman have been shooting escaped chimpanzees in Sweden. At least Four shot dead, one injured and others on the run. Let's hope they get the rest before a human is attacked.

It's all over the Swedish news."

I honestly thought this was going to end in a pun but actually real life Battle for the Planet of the Apes

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"These buggers attack . Watch planet earth...

Vile creatures

No it's us humans that are the vile creatures!

X"

Totally agree

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By *ssex_tom OP   Man
over a year ago

Chelmsford

Have all of these monkeys been rounded up yet? News has gone quiet...

Or is it..

Softly softly catchey monkey..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Happy Christmas Tom

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By *ssex_tom OP   Man
over a year ago

Chelmsford


"Happy Christmas Tom "

Suffolk ?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Happy Christmas Tom

Suffolk ?"

Just up the road Tom.

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By *ssex_tom OP   Man
over a year ago

Chelmsford


"Happy Christmas Tom

Suffolk ?

Just up the road Tom. "

You are on a wind up Leo...

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By *lynJMan
over a year ago

Morden


"Tom saw one of those nature programmes once and the chimpanzees were literally like a pack of wolves..

They used weapons to kill another chimp from a different troup.. and what did these fiming types do... sweet FA and that is why Tom is no fan of Richard Attenborough.."

I quite liked Richard Attenborough's films. He was very good as an actor and directed some excellent movies.

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By *unmatt888Man
over a year ago

Duns


"Tom saw one of those nature programmes once and the chimpanzees were literally like a pack of wolves..

They used weapons to kill another chimp from a different troup.. and what did these fiming types do... sweet FA and that is why Tom is no fan of Richard Attenborough.."

Think he was too busy escaping from Stalag Luft or running a dinosaur theme park (or possibly being dead) to get involved in inter-ape violence.

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By *ebauchedDeviantsPt2Couple
over a year ago

Cumbria

Great band, saw them at the Liquid Rooms in ‘96.

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