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Compartmentalising

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By *rFoxAndXeno OP   Couple
over a year ago

Weymouth

So I'm at the point of putting things in writing to my boss, because a manager is essentially bullying me - I've been through this a lot before in jobs but never had the courage or opportunity to speak up before!

She holds a lot of sway over other people in the company and the whole ordeal has given me tremendous anxiety (on top of already existing mental health conditions)

My question is, how do you put stuff to the back of your mind to enjoy life in the meantime???? There must be a trick! Thanks Fabbers - Xeno

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By *luefire2012Man
over a year ago

Bucks

Don't know about a trick but...

Living in the moment is key. What has happened can't be changed, what may happen may never happen. We are alive for only 1 second at a time. The rest is history or hope.

Keep yourself in the present moment, the rest is tomorrow's problem.

It takes practice to slow your mind down, it is hard, but you can do it.

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By *avexxMan
over a year ago

cheshire

speak to HR department everthing noted,, no joy there go see your GP sick note work related stress,, see what happens then.

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By *rFoxAndXeno OP   Couple
over a year ago

Weymouth


"Don't know about a trick but...

Living in the moment is key. What has happened can't be changed, what may happen may never happen. We are alive for only 1 second at a time. The rest is history or hope.

Keep yourself in the present moment, the rest is tomorrow's problem.

It takes practice to slow your mind down, it is hard, but you can do it."

That's brilliant advice, thank you so much. It's definitely hard and tricky to explain to folks who don't understand x

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By *rFoxAndXeno OP   Couple
over a year ago

Weymouth


"speak to HR department everthing noted,, no joy there go see your GP sick note work related stress,, see what happens then."

Thank you, need to get my big girl pants on and put stuff in motion x

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By *ife NinjaMan
over a year ago

Dunfermline

Do you have a union rep? I would check your company's grievance policy, and then get advice

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Honestly, if you feel like making a formal complaint, I'd be looking for other jobs in the meantime, probably even before doing the complaint.

That's because, the reality of it is, things could get worse, yes they could get better, but to tough out a formal complaint of bullying takes a lot of will power and good mental health, especially as you say she holds a lot of sway.

Try to remember, as much as it may feel like it's personal, try to think that things that happen, or get said, aren't a reflection of you, or how that person feels about you...its how they feel about themselves (if that makes sense).

If you find an interaction overwhelming or too intense, excuse yourself for a toilet break and give yourself some breathing space

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"speak to HR department everthing noted,, no joy there go see your GP sick note work related stress,, see what happens then.

Thank you, need to get my big girl pants on and put stuff in motion x"

Good luck. It's not easy to do. You may find once you start on the process your mind calms because you've made the decision and know how you're going to proceed. That's what I find anyway. I'm not good at it but I find a bit of yoga helps too.

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By *rHotNottsMan
over a year ago

Dubai & Nottingham

It’s hard to have peace when stuff like that is going on, I don’t know any tricks but resolving conflicts is always my no.1 goal

I never escalate unless 100%necessary. Resolving with the person direct is always the best way. I will threaten too and threaten much worse but that’s normally enough

If I can’t do above I invite them & someone their same level to discuss rather than involving my boss or their boss. See if someone else can influence them they respect more than me

I’ve never formally escalated / put in writing. Once you do it’s hard to go back & your boss will just see you as a problem / unable ti fix your own problems

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By *hekMan
over a year ago

N/E London

If having a goal to see you through the highs and lows helps (helped me at times when feeling low), then you can tell your self how this will ultimately be good for you. It’ll give you skills in how to separate work and life better.

Btw, If your company have an EAP / helpline for well-being then call that and speak to an expert who can help. Otherwise healthy distractions (such as exercise) are good way to direct/distract your mind and give you space to put that prick of a boss and their actions into perspective.

Oh and Gather your friends and reach out to them, they can be fab at times like this!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"So I'm at the point of putting things in writing to my boss, because a manager is essentially bullying me - I've been through this a lot before in jobs but never had the courage or opportunity to speak up before!

She holds a lot of sway over other people in the company and the whole ordeal has given me tremendous anxiety (on top of already existing mental health conditions)

My question is, how do you put stuff to the back of your mind to enjoy life in the meantime???? There must be a trick! Thanks Fabbers - Xeno"

What is she doing? Do colleagues notice it, who can back you up?

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By *ena AmourTV/TS
over a year ago

Chard

Write the situation or occurrence down, then add your feelings to it on paper. Once it is there your mind can let it go more easily. Hope this helps you until you find a resolution.

In anxious or stressful situations the mind tends to hold onto thoughts and ruminate on them, sometimes making them seem bigger or worse than they are. Not saying this is happening to you but it is very common.

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