FabSwingers.com forum: Stating whether your single or not on profile

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I find it difficult as a single woman on this site to know if someone I'm chatting to is actually single or not. Some profiles say they are married but others do not. And the signs are not always there. So how would I know. Plus people do lie as well. Perhaps this could be a added feature on the profiles just so people do know.

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By *uriousscouserWoman
over a year ago

Wirral

I do ask if it's not written into a profile but you're right, people do lie and there isn't really any way round that.

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By *etcplCouple
over a year ago

Gapping Fanny

As you say, people lie.

Some lie very convincingly.

All you can do is try and protect yourself from any potential hurt or come back, but its not always possible.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

This is fab. Women and men lie. Some tell the truth if asked thow

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By *mily36CWoman
over a year ago

Bedford (or anywhere beginning with B..!?)

The longer you use Fab the more you can pick up on who is what ... it's like a spidey sixth sense ...but of course it's just easier if folk say

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By *ornycougaWoman
over a year ago

Wherever I lay my hat

If I'm interested I tend to set up a meet pretty quickly. Restrictions on their availability - like only available during the day when they are office based - is a red flag for me and based on my experience usually means that they are playing away. It's not fail safe but the signs are usually there.

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By *eyond PurityCouple
over a year ago

Lincolnshire

Yeah there are a number of people who don’t put their status up. People should just be honest rather than think I’ll get my foot in the door first or not say anything at all.

Have your own red flag guide to out people and trust your gut instinct.

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By *iscean_dreamMan
over a year ago

Llanelli

It's hard to tell I guess, I think if someone openly has face pics it's likely they're single but not a guarantee.

Only being able to meet just after they finish work and briefly would be a flag and not being able to message freely when not working most evenings unless a single parent would be also a possibility they're not single

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By *eard and BoobsCouple
over a year ago

Portstewart

Biggest indicator is that they can’t accommodate yes there are ones who are single parents or house share but it’s one of the first things we pick up on.

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By *iscean_dreamMan
over a year ago

Llanelli

"Biggest indicator is that they can’t accommodate yes there are ones who are single parents or house share but it’s one of the first things we pick up on. "

I can't accommodate but I'd hope from my profile people can see I have no need to be discreet

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Biggest indicator is that they can’t accommodate yes there are ones who are single parents or house share but it’s one of the first things we pick up on. "

I think that's a myth to be honest not being able to accommodate doesn't mean anything. I have can't accommodate on my profile it's not that I can't it's that I won't.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Biggest indicator is that they can’t accommodate yes there are ones who are single parents or house share but it’s one of the first things we pick up on. "

I don't accommodate as I have teenage children at home. Does that mean I'm cheating?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

People will always lie to get a shag.....

Pointless having a Married tick box or Safe sex tick box or sexuality tick box.. Etc etc

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"People will always lie to get a shag.....

Pointless having a Married tick box or Safe sex tick box or sexuality tick box.. Etc etc"

That's my thinking. Anyone can just tick single even if they re not it still doesn't mean anything.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Totally understand, OP. My first question is often- are you single? Some are honest, even if they don’t have it on their profile. Some are dishonest, and confess later on in the course of a conversation.

But sometimes, even when you know the signs, have a good sense of people you gel with, they still get you.

I met someone for a drink recently, with face pics in public, who THEN told me he was married and she didn’t know - we’d sat for 3 hours chatting and he’d lied to my face (he then deleted his fabs profile, blocked me on his phone).

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Biggest indicator is that they can’t accommodate yes there are ones who are single parents or house share but it’s one of the first things we pick up on. "

Ya sometimes I just don't want people I'm meeting for sex off the internet to know where I live.

Funny that

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By *iscean_dreamMan
over a year ago

Llanelli

"Totally understand, OP. My first question is often- are you single? Some are honest, even if they don’t have it on their profile. Some are dishonest, and confess later on in the course of a conversation.

But sometimes, even when you know the signs, have a good sense of people you gel with, they still get you.

Wow he likes to live dangerously then

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We pick up on the non-single singles quite quickly.... there is a vibe and tone they use in messages.

Also the use of the word 'discreet' is a very good indicator lol

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By *linyMan
over a year ago

Manchester/London

Same applies to myself as I have a son who lives with me in his early 20’s. I also consider hotels to be safer spaces for meeting as there’s other people around especially if it’s a first meet. I want the other person to be able to feel relaxed and safe more importantly.

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By *elaninMaverickWoman
over a year ago

near Putney Heath

"Biggest indicator is that they can’t accommodate yes there are ones who are single parents or house share but it’s one of the first things we pick up on.

I can't accommodate but I'd hope from my profile people can see I have no need to be discreet "

I can't accommodate either. Simply because my home is where I unmask my neurodivergent brain. I also have been attacked in my home twice (not by Fabbers) so I need it to be a safe space to process my trauma. It's also quite small and I have a single bed which I love. Unfortunately, it doesn't fit two people or tall men. Lol!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

May be am one of the good ones am in open marriage and has been put in my profile don't see the point in not saying as will come out in the end why lie just low life's a

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By *asterofmaidsMan
over a year ago

Telford

"Biggest indicator is that they can’t accommodate yes there are ones who are single parents or house share but it’s one of the first things we pick up on. "

Funny because the dog would bite ya cock off for coming through the front door but I'm very much single so I call bs on that assumption

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Wow, he likes to live dangerously then

Yep - I was gobsmacked. His poor wife.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Biggest indicator is that they can’t accommodate yes there are ones who are single parents or house share but it’s one of the first things we pick up on.

Funny because the dog would bite ya cock off for coming through the front door but I'm very much single so I call bs on that assumption "

We can go through listing all the reasons people don’t accommodate, outside of cheating on their partners. We all know there are other reasons, but there are also a huge number of people with partners who don’t know, looking for fun on the side.

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By *ife NinjaMan
over a year ago

Dunfermline

Single and mingling

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Biggest indicator is that they can’t accommodate yes there are ones who are single parents or house share but it’s one of the first things we pick up on.

Funny because the dog would bite ya cock off for coming through the front door but I'm very much single so I call bs on that assumption

We all know that but saying that profiles, and let's face it when people talk about this they mean male profiles, that dint accommodate is a good indicator of cheating is clearly false by all the reasons laid out above. And thr double standard that it isnt applied to women is part of the issue I have with it.

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By *mily36CWoman
over a year ago

Bedford (or anywhere beginning with B..!?)

"Biggest indicator is that they can’t accommodate yes there are ones who are single parents or house share but it’s one of the first things we pick up on.

I think that's a myth to be honest not being able to accommodate doesn't mean anything. I have can't accommodate on my profile it's not that I can't it's that I won't. "

True, and many have learnt that it's used as a red flag so put that they can anyway

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Usually tell from when they message.

During work hours only?

Or I ask them to video call one night, if they're sat on the sofa sneakily messaging with the Mrs at the other end they'll soon go off line or make up excuses.

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By *inger_SnapWoman
over a year ago

Hampshire/Dorset

I've found most men will actually admit if they're married or have partners, at some point in the conversation.

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By *etcplCouple
over a year ago

Gapping Fanny

"People will always lie to get a shag.....

Pointless having a Married tick box or Safe sex tick box or sexuality tick box.. Etc etc"

Just to reiterate this.

People will lie to get what they want, regardless of the cost to others.

Whether that is their relationship status, their fondness for unprotected sex or the last time they had an STI test.

Just assume everyone is lying to you about everything, and take it from there.

Look after yourself as thats all you can do, but realise your red flag meter is never infallible and you will end up at some point falling foul of some cunt or another!

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By *odgerMooreMan
over a year ago

Nowhere

I generally meet in the day as its easiest to work around demands of my home life. I can accommodate if I wanted to but my swinging life and my real life will never Meet. I’m resigned to the fact that many see my situation as full of warning flags and totally ok with it. I will continue to meet very occasionally and i will continue to enjoy the fun and banter on the forums - its never been about sleeping my way through the site - its been about connection and will continue to

Be.

My life my rules and if your rules are compatible with mine great - if not - thats ok too.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I find it difficult as a single woman on this site to know if someone I'm chatting to is actually single or not. Some profiles say they are married but others do not. And the signs are not always there. So how would I know. Plus people do lie as well. Perhaps this could be an added feature on the profiles just so people do know."

People would still lie even it was stated on their profile

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I find it difficult as a single woman on this site to know if someone I'm chatting to is actually single or not. Some profiles say they are married but others do not. And the signs are not always there. So how would I know. Plus people do lie as well. Perhaps this could be a added feature on the profiles just so people do know."

Thank you for the tip - my profile now states 100% single and why I can't accommodate most of the time

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By *avidSwingerMan
over a year ago

Kibworth

"Biggest indicator is that they can’t accommodate yes there are ones who are single parents or house share but it’s one of the first things we pick up on.

I think that's a myth to be honest not being able to accommodate doesn't mean anything. I have can't accommodate on my profile it's not that I can't it's that I won't. "

I agree, I have my eldest living with me full time and younger ones that I have 50 / 50 so its not possible for me to accommodate

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By *ora the explorerWoman
over a year ago

Paradise, Herts

"I find it difficult as a single woman on this site to know if someone I'm chatting to is actually single or not. Some profiles say they are married but others do not. And the signs are not always there. So how would I know. Plus people do lie as well. Perhaps this could be a added feature on the profiles just so people do know."

Pointless being a feature. Just ask them. If they are going to answer dishonestly then they will on any feature too. I always ask but if I like someone I like them, their relationship status doesn’t bother me so I suppose they’re always honest about it with me.

With regards to the “can’t accommodate” comments. I know loads of single men who won’t accommodate. I wouldn’t accommodate in a million years. More of a red flag for me if people do as it tells me they’re not that bothered about privacy and who goes to their house. Funny how we all think differently isn’t it.

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By *ex HolesMan
over a year ago

Up North

Why anyone would accommodate a stranger from the internet into their home is beyond me. Single or not you’re taking a real significant gamble as you don’t know the other person at all.

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By *TG3Man
over a year ago

Dorchester

Some people trust some people don't, very often the person you're meeting is lovely but rarely you meet a bummer, it wouldn't bother me to much but my housemates might want to join in

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By *issmorganWoman
over a year ago

Calderdale innit

I always ask in first couple of messages if it doesn't day in their profile & if I'm still suspicious I just wouldn't meet them.

I can usually suss those out who are here in secret as there are signs.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Thank u for all your comments I found it very helpful and will ask straight out now

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By *issmorganWoman
over a year ago

Calderdale innit

"Biggest indicator is that they can’t accommodate yes there are ones who are single parents or house share but it’s one of the first things we pick up on.

I think that's a myth to be honest not being able to accommodate doesn't mean anything. I have can't accommodate on my profile it's not that I can't it's that I won't. "

I don't accom as it's mine and my partners safe space ,but he knows I'm here obvs.

The not accommodating alone isn't a sign of a cheat ,could be living with family or have kids there or just doesn't want to accom.

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By *iltsTSgirlTV/TS
over a year ago

chichester

I just take profiles with a big pinch of bullshit.

Practically every single female profile (bar about 5) I have spoken to in lastv3 years turned out as a couple / married or hitched with a fwb trying to arrange 3somes off the back being single fem

I just report them to admin for miss advertising sometimes their profile gets changed to couple Mostly nothing happens though

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By *hekMan
over a year ago

NE London

Whereas some hungry folks will write anything that they think will help them succeed, that rarely works here, as there’s usually a “let’s figure out the connection phase” that will give their game away….usually.

Tbh I thought about faking it myself, before realising that being honest here will mean that connections will be better once made. Honesty has served me well here in general, but specifically when it comes to meets.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Unfortunately even if thier profile says single doesn't mean they are in deed single

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By *rincess1988Woman
over a year ago

South Oxfordshire

Well, you will never know. People can say anything. But I can spot them quite easy now. And half the time I can find them on social media easily as well.

That being said… I just had quite the married man/compulsive liar drama yesterday.

put me off fab quite a bit actually.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Why anyone would accommodate a stranger from the internet into their home is beyond me. Single or not you’re taking a real significant gamble as you don’t know the other person at all. "

Plus, night in a hotel!! Why on earth anyone would want to go round to Dave's house when you can have a night in a nice hotel is beyond me.

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