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By *humper. OP   Man
over a year ago

northumberland/scotland

I posted a little while ago on here about how I was starting to be comfortable in my own skin, and how my father's attitudes and opinions had influenced who I had been for 39 out of my 40 years. (His homophobia, general closed mindedness, amongst other things) and how even he had accepted me for who I'm becoming (or, always was?, dunno, another topic for another day)

The response to that thread was lovely. Thought I'd follow up.

Anyway, he had booked a surprise holiday for him and his fiance, and she couldn't get time off so... invited me. Said we needed to build bridges and shit. Initially I had made my excuses why I couldn't come. We hadn't as much as had a pint together in 5 years, rarely talked. Didn't even see him last year at Christmas etc etc. The thought of a week together terrified me.

I decided it was a "now or never" thing though and packed a bag

Lying here, with my toenails painted, enjoying the sun and free food/beers and talking openly about swinging, clubs, this site etc. Laughing and enjoying eachothers company.

It's funny what can come from having those conversations you've always feared. Admitting the things you never thought you would. Taking the chances you never dared.

Anyway, I'm full of free whisky and possible sunstroke. So maybe over sharing again but, moral of the story... don't hide. Take the mask off.

Also, if its free, drink it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Good on you

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By *rtyIanMan
over a year ago

Gateway to the Beacons


"I posted a little while ago on here about how I was starting to be comfortable in my own skin, and how my father's attitudes and opinions had influenced who I had been for 39 out of my 40 years. (His homophobia, general closed mindedness, amongst other things) and how even he had accepted me for who I'm becoming (or, always was?, dunno, another topic for another day)

The response to that thread was lovely. Thought I'd follow up.

Anyway, he had booked a surprise holiday for him and his fiance, and she couldn't get time off so... invited me. Said we needed to build bridges and shit. Initially I had made my excuses why I couldn't come. We hadn't as much as had a pint together in 5 years, rarely talked. Didn't even see him last year at Christmas etc etc. The thought of a week together terrified me.

I decided it was a "now or never" thing though and packed a bag

Lying here, with my toenails painted, enjoying the sun and free food/beers and talking openly about swinging, clubs, this site etc. Laughing and enjoying eachothers company.

It's funny what can come from having those conversations you've always feared. Admitting the things you never thought you would. Taking the chances you never dared.

Anyway, I'm full of free whisky and possible sunstroke. So maybe over sharing again but, moral of the story... don't hide. Take the mask off.

Also, if its free, drink it.

"

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By *rHotNottsMan
over a year ago

Dubai & Nottingham

That’s so positive. It’s good to keep hope that parent / child relationships can be fixed even when it seems impossible at times - people do change.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I posted a little while ago on here about how I was starting to be comfortable in my own skin, and how my father's attitudes and opinions had influenced who I had been for 39 out of my 40 years. (His homophobia, general closed mindedness, amongst other things) and how even he had accepted me for who I'm becoming (or, always was?, dunno, another topic for another day)

The response to that thread was lovely. Thought I'd follow up.

Anyway, he had booked a surprise holiday for him and his fiance, and she couldn't get time off so... invited me. Said we needed to build bridges and shit. Initially I had made my excuses why I couldn't come. We hadn't as much as had a pint together in 5 years, rarely talked. Didn't even see him last year at Christmas etc etc. The thought of a week together terrified me.

I decided it was a "now or never" thing though and packed a bag

Lying here, with my toenails painted, enjoying the sun and free food/beers and talking openly about swinging, clubs, this site etc. Laughing and enjoying eachothers company.

It's funny what can come from having those conversations you've always feared. Admitting the things you never thought you would. Taking the chances you never dared.

Anyway, I'm full of free whisky and possible sunstroke. So maybe over sharing again but, moral of the story... don't hide. Take the mask off.

Also, if its free, drink it.

"

Have you at least got suncream on?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Good for you!!! I think we all evolve with the years and even our parents do sometimes (although not always for the best).

Very happy for you that everything seems to be falling into place

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By *ornycougaWoman
over a year ago

NORWAY Wherever I lay my hat

Amazing story. So great to develop that relationship with your father. I didn't have that with my parents but work at it with my grown up kids. It's so special: good on you for taking that step and reaping the rewards.

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By *eliWoman
over a year ago

.

Do not always drink it if it's free.

Yeah, that aside,

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By *affeine DuskMan
over a year ago

Caerphilly

I was immensely proud and happy to know you when I read that original thread, man.

It was so open and lovely.

But this time you can piss off with your sun and your free drinks; hope you burst into flames, babe.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We are missing crucial details here.

Namely…what colour toenails?

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By *etcplCouple
over a year ago

Gapping Fanny

Some people change.

Others don’t.

Some you don’t see who they are until its too late, others you’ve always known they were a dick.

I am always an optimist and like to think relationships can be mended, however realise that not all can be saved.

It’s good you and your dad may be on the mend and that you want it.

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By *humper. OP   Man
over a year ago

northumberland/scotland


"We are missing crucial details here.

Namely…what colour toenails? "

Midnight blue, matte finish on the toes. Black on the thumb.

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By *humper. OP   Man
over a year ago

northumberland/scotland


"I posted a little while ago on here about how I was starting to be comfortable in my own skin, and how my father's attitudes and opinions had influenced who I had been for 39 out of my 40 years. (His homophobia, general closed mindedness, amongst other things) and how even he had accepted me for who I'm becoming (or, always was?, dunno, another topic for another day)

The response to that thread was lovely. Thought I'd follow up.

Anyway, he had booked a surprise holiday for him and his fiance, and she couldn't get time off so... invited me. Said we needed to build bridges and shit. Initially I had made my excuses why I couldn't come. We hadn't as much as had a pint together in 5 years, rarely talked. Didn't even see him last year at Christmas etc etc. The thought of a week together terrified me.

I decided it was a "now or never" thing though and packed a bag

Lying here, with my toenails painted, enjoying the sun and free food/beers and talking openly about swinging, clubs, this site etc. Laughing and enjoying eachothers company.

It's funny what can come from having those conversations you've always feared. Admitting the things you never thought you would. Taking the chances you never dared.

Anyway, I'm full of free whisky and possible sunstroke. So maybe over sharing again but, moral of the story... don't hide. Take the mask off.

Also, if its free, drink it.

Have you at least got suncream on?

"

I had a dribble of factor 20 around 9am. I'm not an idiot.

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By *humper. OP   Man
over a year ago

northumberland/scotland


"I was immensely proud and happy to know you when I read that original thread, man.

It was so open and lovely.

But this time you can piss off with your sun and your free drinks; hope you burst into flames, babe.

"

You're cute when you're frostbiten

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I’m pleased for Op.

Not everyone will or has the best parents. And we sometimes want , need more from our parents but it won’t ever be reciprocated.

To anyone like me who didn’t have the parents and relationships you needed or wanted. Let it go, don’t let toxicity live within you. My parents are deceased so it’s a moot point for me.

Xmas can be such a troubling time so wishing you all that this has resonated with all the best .

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

OP thanks for sharing this very positive story. Delighted for you and your father that are is such a great place.

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By *eyond PurityCouple
over a year ago

Lincolnshire

This is what I want with my dad - he’s so closed but I also know that’s he’s lived his life.

I want to pass on my openness to my son, not hide it away and bury my head in the sand so it’s refreshing to read that a dad who you thought would never change, has and you can have that openness

K

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I posted a little while ago on here about how I was starting to be comfortable in my own skin, and how my father's attitudes and opinions had influenced who I had been for 39 out of my 40 years. (His homophobia, general closed mindedness, amongst other things) and how even he had accepted me for who I'm becoming (or, always was?, dunno, another topic for another day)

The response to that thread was lovely. Thought I'd follow up.

Anyway, he had booked a surprise holiday for him and his fiance, and she couldn't get time off so... invited me. Said we needed to build bridges and shit. Initially I had made my excuses why I couldn't come. We hadn't as much as had a pint together in 5 years, rarely talked. Didn't even see him last year at Christmas etc etc. The thought of a week together terrified me.

I decided it was a "now or never" thing though and packed a bag

Lying here, with my toenails painted, enjoying the sun and free food/beers and talking openly about swinging, clubs, this site etc. Laughing and enjoying eachothers company.

It's funny what can come from having those conversations you've always feared. Admitting the things you never thought you would. Taking the chances you never dared.

Anyway, I'm full of free whisky and possible sunstroke. So maybe over sharing again but, moral of the story... don't hide. Take the mask off.

Also, if its free, drink it.

"

Best thread ever

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By *affeine DuskMan
over a year ago

Caerphilly


"I was immensely proud and happy to know you when I read that original thread, man.

It was so open and lovely.

But this time you can piss off with your sun and your free drinks; hope you burst into flames, babe.

You're cute when you're frostbiten "

You're cute when you steal my lines, you bastard

Have a great time out there, the pair of you. So glad this is happening for you, drink it in.

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By *eroLondonMan
over a year ago

Covent Garden

You've arisen like the phoenix.

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By *ellinever70Woman
over a year ago

Ayrshire

It's nice that you built bridge

Unfortunately, I'm in the camp of it being unnecessary to share detail of your sex life with a parent. Once that's in their head, they have to find a way to deal with it and I don't imagine there would always be such a positive outcome

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By *iscean_dreamMan
over a year ago

Llanelli

You just wanted to gloat about the sun and free drinks didn't you

Happy for you having a nice time and being able to be open

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By *weetiepie99Woman
over a year ago

cardiff

This is lovely

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By *iss_Juicy79Woman
over a year ago

Edinburgh

Op that's so lovely it must feel so good after all that time enjoy it and continue to have good times with him x

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By *elaninMaverickWoman
over a year ago

near Putney Heath


"I posted a little while ago on here about how I was starting to be comfortable in my own skin, and how my father's attitudes and opinions had influenced who I had been for 39 out of my 40 years. (His homophobia, general closed mindedness, amongst other things) and how even he had accepted me for who I'm becoming (or, always was?, dunno, another topic for another day)

The response to that thread was lovely. Thought I'd follow up.

Anyway, he had booked a surprise holiday for him and his fiance, and she couldn't get time off so... invited me. Said we needed to build bridges and shit. Initially I had made my excuses why I couldn't come. We hadn't as much as had a pint together in 5 years, rarely talked. Didn't even see him last year at Christmas etc etc. The thought of a week together terrified me.

I decided it was a "now or never" thing though and packed a bag

Lying here, with my toenails painted, enjoying the sun and free food/beers and talking openly about swinging, clubs, this site etc. Laughing and enjoying eachothers company.

It's funny what can come from having those conversations you've always feared. Admitting the things you never thought you would. Taking the chances you never dared.

Anyway, I'm full of free whisky and possible sunstroke. So maybe over sharing again but, moral of the story... don't hide. Take the mask off.

Also, if its free, drink it.

"

Hugs Thumper. I didn't see the previous thread but discovered this year in therapy that I spend half of my life wanting my parents' and by extension other people's approval.

My parents live in the tropics and I see them once a year. It gives me so much anxiety to travel to see that I have to be sedated on the flight and this year I throw out the uber window on the way to Heathrow.

That said once I get there it was much better than I anticipated and my mother is a retired nurse so she does her best to patch me up and I let her. My father's penance is to ply me with lots of coconut water, avocados and dirty jokes over rum. Everyone knows a millennial's weakness is free avocados the size of your head.

I try not to be mad at them now...they did the best they could with the knowledge that they had at the time. Now they actually listen to me....about 25% of the time....before they never listened So that's a win for me.

I'm waiting for my sibling to show them the tattoo before I get my full-body one. Lol! They didn't have a heart attack from the sibling's nose piercing.

I grew up in a very homophobic society and I'm still working my head around that.

Vanilla hugs and Sexy hugs with your consent.

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By *sBlueWoman
over a year ago

Up North

This is so nice to read

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By *ittlemiss Hal O weenCouple
over a year ago

Southampton


"I posted a little while ago on here about how I was starting to be comfortable in my own skin, and how my father's attitudes and opinions had influenced who I had been for 39 out of my 40 years. (His homophobia, general closed mindedness, amongst other things) and how even he had accepted me for who I'm becoming (or, always was?, dunno, another topic for another day)

The response to that thread was lovely. Thought I'd follow up.

Anyway, he had booked a surprise holiday for him and his fiance, and she couldn't get time off so... invited me. Said we needed to build bridges and shit. Initially I had made my excuses why I couldn't come. We hadn't as much as had a pint together in 5 years, rarely talked. Didn't even see him last year at Christmas etc etc. The thought of a week together terrified me.

I decided it was a "now or never" thing though and packed a bag

Lying here, with my toenails painted, enjoying the sun and free food/beers and talking openly about swinging, clubs, this site etc. Laughing and enjoying eachothers company.

It's funny what can come from having those conversations you've always feared. Admitting the things you never thought you would. Taking the chances you never dared.

Anyway, I'm full of free whisky and possible sunstroke. So maybe over sharing again but, moral of the story... don't hide. Take the mask off.

Also, if its free, drink it.

"

Thank you for sharing xx

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By *elaninMaverickWoman
over a year ago

near Putney Heath


"We are missing crucial details here.

Namely…what colour toenails?

Midnight blue, matte finish on the toes. Black on the thumb. "

Even more envious now...It's bloody snowing here and my toenails need re-doing but I'm avoiding going outside.

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By *elaninMaverickWoman
over a year ago

near Putney Heath


"It's nice that you built bridge

Unfortunately, I'm in the camp of it being unnecessary to share detail of your sex life with a parent. Once that's in their head, they have to find a way to deal with it and I don't imagine there would always be such a positive outcome "

I haven't told the sibling about swinging per se but they know I have multiple lovers on a poly basis.

I haven't told them because they are on their own journey and nearly a decade younger than me. But if they ask I will say.

I think my parents might be too old to actually care now. They might probably write it off as part of my crazy. And I am crazy so meh either way.

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By *humper. OP   Man
over a year ago

northumberland/scotland

Just nipped on quickly... appreciate the positive feedback people. Thankyou

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By *ittlebirdWoman
over a year ago

The Big Smoke

Really happy for you Thumper. It’s so nice when you finally feel yourself, and that is accepted by the ones you love

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By *humper. OP   Man
over a year ago

northumberland/scotland


"Really happy for you Thumper. It’s so nice when you finally feel yourself, and that is accepted by the ones you love "

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By *arkandlovelyWoman
over a year ago

South Derbyshire

Aw, this is lovely. Good for you and good for your dad.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

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By *ixedDevilMan
over a year ago

Bootyville

Wholesome

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

That's great Thumper I'm really pleased that you and your Dad are building bridges it's not easy

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I posted a little while ago on here about how I was starting to be comfortable in my own skin, and how my father's attitudes and opinions had influenced who I had been for 39 out of my 40 years. (His homophobia, general closed mindedness, amongst other things) and how even he had accepted me for who I'm becoming (or, always was?, dunno, another topic for another day)

The response to that thread was lovely. Thought I'd follow up.

Anyway, he had booked a surprise holiday for him and his fiance, and she couldn't get time off so... invited me. Said we needed to build bridges and shit. Initially I had made my excuses why I couldn't come. We hadn't as much as had a pint together in 5 years, rarely talked. Didn't even see him last year at Christmas etc etc. The thought of a week together terrified me.

I decided it was a "now or never" thing though and packed a bag

Lying here, with my toenails painted, enjoying the sun and free food/beers and talking openly about swinging, clubs, this site etc. Laughing and enjoying eachothers company.

It's funny what can come from having those conversations you've always feared. Admitting the things you never thought you would. Taking the chances you never dared.

Anyway, I'm full of free whisky and possible sunstroke. So maybe over sharing again but, moral of the story... don't hide. Take the mask off.

Also, if its free, drink it.

"

That's awesome as sounds like the decision to go saved your relationship with him, or got it back on track sooner.

Am.completely open with everyone about my sexuality and sleeping with men, everyone apart from my Father as I don't necessarily think he'll turn his back on me (we're close I see him for dinner once a week and go to the pub when England play rugby) but think it could change our relationship and not add to it. He's nearly 70 and has cancer (operable so should be fine) but concerned of souring a healthy relationship.

Sorry not intended to hijack just made me think of my Dad as is on my mind now and again.

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By *humper. OP   Man
over a year ago

northumberland/scotland


"I posted a little while ago on here about how I was starting to be comfortable in my own skin, and how my father's attitudes and opinions had influenced who I had been for 39 out of my 40 years. (His homophobia, general closed mindedness, amongst other things) and how even he had accepted me for who I'm becoming (or, always was?, dunno, another topic for another day)

The response to that thread was lovely. Thought I'd follow up.

Anyway, he had booked a surprise holiday for him and his fiance, and she couldn't get time off so... invited me. Said we needed to build bridges and shit. Initially I had made my excuses why I couldn't come. We hadn't as much as had a pint together in 5 years, rarely talked. Didn't even see him last year at Christmas etc etc. The thought of a week together terrified me.

I decided it was a "now or never" thing though and packed a bag

Lying here, with my toenails painted, enjoying the sun and free food/beers and talking openly about swinging, clubs, this site etc. Laughing and enjoying eachothers company.

It's funny what can come from having those conversations you've always feared. Admitting the things you never thought you would. Taking the chances you never dared.

Anyway, I'm full of free whisky and possible sunstroke. So maybe over sharing again but, moral of the story... don't hide. Take the mask off.

Also, if its free, drink it.

That's awesome as sounds like the decision to go saved your relationship with him, or got it back on track sooner.

Am.completely open with everyone about my sexuality and sleeping with men, everyone apart from my Father as I don't necessarily think he'll turn his back on me (we're close I see him for dinner once a week and go to the pub when England play rugby) but think it could change our relationship and not add to it. He's nearly 70 and has cancer (operable so should be fine) but concerned of souring a healthy relationship.

Sorry not intended to hijack just made me think of my Dad as is on my mind now and again. "

No need to apologise. My dad's a similar age, 67. I think it's a generational thing. Sending good vibes for your fathers health man.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I posted a little while ago on here about how I was starting to be comfortable in my own skin, and how my father's attitudes and opinions had influenced who I had been for 39 out of my 40 years. (His homophobia, general closed mindedness, amongst other things) and how even he had accepted me for who I'm becoming (or, always was?, dunno, another topic for another day)

The response to that thread was lovely. Thought I'd follow up.

Anyway, he had booked a surprise holiday for him and his fiance, and she couldn't get time off so... invited me. Said we needed to build bridges and shit. Initially I had made my excuses why I couldn't come. We hadn't as much as had a pint together in 5 years, rarely talked. Didn't even see him last year at Christmas etc etc. The thought of a week together terrified me.

I decided it was a "now or never" thing though and packed a bag

Lying here, with my toenails painted, enjoying the sun and free food/beers and talking openly about swinging, clubs, this site etc. Laughing and enjoying eachothers company.

It's funny what can come from having those conversations you've always feared. Admitting the things you never thought you would. Taking the chances you never dared.

Anyway, I'm full of free whisky and possible sunstroke. So maybe over sharing again but, moral of the story... don't hide. Take the mask off.

Also, if its free, drink it.

That's awesome as sounds like the decision to go saved your relationship with him, or got it back on track sooner.

Am.completely open with everyone about my sexuality and sleeping with men, everyone apart from my Father as I don't necessarily think he'll turn his back on me (we're close I see him for dinner once a week and go to the pub when England play rugby) but think it could change our relationship and not add to it. He's nearly 70 and has cancer (operable so should be fine) but concerned of souring a healthy relationship.

Sorry not intended to hijack just made me think of my Dad as is on my mind now and again.

No need to apologise. My dad's a similar age, 67. I think it's a generational thing. Sending good vibes for your fathers health man. "

Yeah, I think your right about generational.

Thank you! Outlook is positive. Enjoy the rest of your holiday.

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By *humper. OP   Man
over a year ago

northumberland/scotland

[Removed by poster at 12/12/22 22:17:23]

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By *humper. OP   Man
over a year ago

northumberland/scotland


"I posted a little while ago on here about how I was starting to be comfortable in my own skin, and how my father's attitudes and opinions had influenced who I had been for 39 out of my 40 years. (His homophobia, general closed mindedness, amongst other things) and how even he had accepted me for who I'm becoming (or, always was?, dunno, another topic for another day)

The response to that thread was lovely. Thought I'd follow up.

Anyway, he had booked a surprise holiday for him and his fiance, and she couldn't get time off so... invited me. Said we needed to build bridges and shit. Initially I had made my excuses why I couldn't come. We hadn't as much as had a pint together in 5 years, rarely talked. Didn't even see him last year at Christmas etc etc. The thought of a week together terrified me.

I decided it was a "now or never" thing though and packed a bag

Lying here, with my toenails painted, enjoying the sun and free food/beers and talking openly about swinging, clubs, this site etc. Laughing and enjoying eachothers company.

It's funny what can come from having those conversations you've always feared. Admitting the things you never thought you would. Taking the chances you never dared.

Anyway, I'm full of free whisky and possible sunstroke. So maybe over sharing again but, moral of the story... don't hide. Take the mask off.

Also, if its free, drink it.

That's awesome as sounds like the decision to go saved your relationship with him, or got it back on track sooner.

Am.completely open with everyone about my sexuality and sleeping with men, everyone apart from my Father as I don't necessarily think he'll turn his back on me (we're close I see him for dinner once a week and go to the pub when England play rugby) but think it could change our relationship and not add to it. He's nearly 70 and has cancer (operable so should be fine) but concerned of souring a healthy relationship.

Sorry not intended to hijack just made me think of my Dad as is on my mind now and again.

No need to apologise. My dad's a similar age, 67. I think it's a generational thing. Sending good vibes for your fathers health man.

Yeah, I think your right about generational.

Thank you! Outlook is positive. Enjoy the rest of your holiday. "

Cheers dude

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By *ou only live onceMan
over a year ago

London

I loved your other post, Thumper, and really pleased to hear things are moving in such a positive direction with your Dad. I get the "don't hide" bit, and know I can be too buttoned up on all kinds of things at times.

I am extremely close to my Mum, less so my Dad (my parents are divorced; it's not that I just like one more than the other), though I genuinely wouldn't want to discuss my (or their!!) sex life with either of them, because that's just not us. But it's lovely that you're feeling closer to your Dad - perhaps I'll make more of an effort! Have a great holiday!

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By *humper. OP   Man
over a year ago

northumberland/scotland


"I loved your other post, Thumper, and really pleased to hear things are moving in such a positive direction with your Dad. I get the "don't hide" bit, and know I can be too buttoned up on all kinds of things at times.

I am extremely close to my Mum, less so my Dad (my parents are divorced; it's not that I just like one more than the other), though I genuinely wouldn't want to discuss my (or their!!) sex life with either of them, because that's just not us. But it's lovely that you're feeling closer to your Dad - perhaps I'll make more of an effort! Have a great holiday! "

I've not went into detail, it was more a case of what it is I'm doing these days. He knows I split up with my ex of 6 years, mother of my son etc so when he asked if I was seeing anyone I was just like.... wwwwwellllll, not so much haha. It's mote that from being so homophobic (disowned his step son when he came out) to, being comfortable laid next to me, painted toes, knowing I'm bisexual, that I'm a swinger etc.

I've not went into details. Yet. The whisky is free haha

It's more the, being able to just be me, than detailing what that entails. If that makes sense.

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By *nexpectedExplorerMan
over a year ago

SA3

This is really heart warming stuff. Have a lovely time!

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By *humper. OP   Man
over a year ago

northumberland/scotland


"Do not always drink it if it's free.

Yeah, that aside, "

Meli knows. Listen to Meli.

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
over a year ago

Central

It's important that we grab those right opportunities when we can as, not doing so, can mean that we lose our for good.

Glad that your time now is going so great OP.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Glad he reached out to you. Maybe he had a lot of thinking time to digest and reflect on his own attitudes.

As parents I think you always have an idea of what you perceive your children will be as future adults and it can cause discord when they don't conform to the image you had

You both took a big step and laid a foundation, you can only build up.

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By *inky_couple2020Couple
over a year ago

North West

This is the loveliest thing I've read in a long time. Hope the rest of the holiday is splendid and wonderful

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By *ou only live onceMan
over a year ago

London


"I loved your other post, Thumper, and really pleased to hear things are moving in such a positive direction with your Dad. I get the "don't hide" bit, and know I can be too buttoned up on all kinds of things at times.

I am extremely close to my Mum, less so my Dad (my parents are divorced; it's not that I just like one more than the other), though I genuinely wouldn't want to discuss my (or their!!) sex life with either of them, because that's just not us. But it's lovely that you're feeling closer to your Dad - perhaps I'll make more of an effort! Have a great holiday!

I've not went into detail, it was more a case of what it is I'm doing these days. He knows I split up with my ex of 6 years, mother of my son etc so when he asked if I was seeing anyone I was just like.... wwwwwellllll, not so much haha. It's mote that from being so homophobic (disowned his step son when he came out) to, being comfortable laid next to me, painted toes, knowing I'm bisexual, that I'm a swinger etc.

I've not went into details. Yet. The whisky is free haha

It's more the, being able to just be me, than detailing what that entails. If that makes sense. "

Yes, of course, and it's lovely. I meant that - wasn't trying to be snarky in any way!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

This has warmed my heart, thank you for sharing x

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By *humper. OP   Man
over a year ago

northumberland/scotland


"I loved your other post, Thumper, and really pleased to hear things are moving in such a positive direction with your Dad. I get the "don't hide" bit, and know I can be too buttoned up on all kinds of things at times.

I am extremely close to my Mum, less so my Dad (my parents are divorced; it's not that I just like one more than the other), though I genuinely wouldn't want to discuss my (or their!!) sex life with either of them, because that's just not us. But it's lovely that you're feeling closer to your Dad - perhaps I'll make more of an effort! Have a great holiday!

I've not went into detail, it was more a case of what it is I'm doing these days. He knows I split up with my ex of 6 years, mother of my son etc so when he asked if I was seeing anyone I was just like.... wwwwwellllll, not so much haha. It's mote that from being so homophobic (disowned his step son when he came out) to, being comfortable laid next to me, painted toes, knowing I'm bisexual, that I'm a swinger etc.

I've not went into details. Yet. The whisky is free haha

It's more the, being able to just be me, than detailing what that entails. If that makes sense.

Yes, of course, and it's lovely. I meant that - wasn't trying to be snarky in any way! "

Didn't think you were, apologies if my reply came across that way. We're good

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By *humper. OP   Man
over a year ago

northumberland/scotland


"This has warmed my heart, thank you for sharing x"

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By *humper. OP   Man
over a year ago

northumberland/scotland

[Removed by poster at 13/12/22 20:28:43]

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By *elaninMaverickWoman
over a year ago

near Putney Heath


"I posted a little while ago on here about how I was starting to be comfortable in my own skin, and how my father's attitudes and opinions had influenced who I had been for 39 out of my 40 years. (His homophobia, general closed mindedness, amongst other things) and how even he had accepted me for who I'm becoming (or, always was?, dunno, another topic for another day)

The response to that thread was lovely. Thought I'd follow up.

Anyway, he had booked a surprise holiday for him and his fiance, and she couldn't get time off so... invited me. Said we needed to build bridges and shit. Initially I had made my excuses why I couldn't come. We hadn't as much as had a pint together in 5 years, rarely talked. Didn't even see him last year at Christmas etc etc. The thought of a week together terrified me.

I decided it was a "now or never" thing though and packed a bag

Lying here, with my toenails painted, enjoying the sun and free food/beers and talking openly about swinging, clubs, this site etc. Laughing and enjoying eachothers company.

It's funny what can come from having those conversations you've always feared. Admitting the things you never thought you would. Taking the chances you never dared.

Anyway, I'm full of free whisky and possible sunstroke. So maybe over sharing again but, moral of the story... don't hide. Take the mask off.

Also, if its free, drink it.

That's awesome as sounds like the decision to go saved your relationship with him, or got it back on track sooner.

Am.completely open with everyone about my sexuality and sleeping with men, everyone apart from my Father as I don't necessarily think he'll turn his back on me (we're close I see him for dinner once a week and go to the pub when England play rugby) but think it could change our relationship and not add to it. He's nearly 70 and has cancer (operable so should be fine) but concerned of souring a healthy relationship.

Sorry not intended to hijack just made me think of my Dad as is on my mind now and again.

No need to apologise. My dad's a similar age, 67. I think it's a generational thing. Sending good vibes for your fathers health man.

Yeah, I think your right about generational.

Thank you! Outlook is positive. Enjoy the rest of your holiday. "

My dad is 75 and is an absolute menace. He can't be the morality police to me when he drives d*unk with night-blindness and gets brought home by the cops after midnight after hitting two cars... ( Am I raising a teenager or caring for an elderly parent?!?!) He lives overseas....otherwise, I would ask the judge here to bind him over and take his licence.

I have no idea how he's still alive. Handsdown he wins the competition for most reckless and possibly criminal. All we are doing is fucking people with their consent and dressing how we want....um...until our clothes come off. then we are all naked....except for tattoos and nail polish.

My dad also wanted to break all the Covid laws out there....he probably did break some behind my mother's back.

I have to meditate and practice radical acceptance of his behavior. Good thing he lives 4000 miles away.

I thought the older generation were supposed to be better behaved. Lol!

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By *elaninMaverickWoman
over a year ago

near Putney Heath


"I loved your other post, Thumper, and really pleased to hear things are moving in such a positive direction with your Dad. I get the "don't hide" bit, and know I can be too buttoned up on all kinds of things at times.

I am extremely close to my Mum, less so my Dad (my parents are divorced; it's not that I just like one more than the other), though I genuinely wouldn't want to discuss my (or their!!) sex life with either of them, because that's just not us. But it's lovely that you're feeling closer to your Dad - perhaps I'll make more of an effort! Have a great holiday! "

My mother snitched on my Dad and said that he watches porn on the tablet that my sibling gave him for his 70th....

I was like how is this information that I need to know!? What did she think I was going to do about it?

Luckily I had an out and said.. well I didn't buy him the tablet...speak to the sibling....She know better than to say that to the sibling who might have an anxiety panic attack from this information. Lol!

My family are a clusterfuck. D'Artagnan and Three Musketeers.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What an absolutely delightful post to read. The parent/child bond is so important. I'm so pleased you are able to live life as the 'real' you and that your father is now muchvmore open minded and willing to understand.

Enjoy the rest of your holiday together.

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By *ose-tinted GlassesMan
over a year ago

Glasgow / London

Y’know what Thumper? Good on your Dad as well. Good on him for managing to grow and change as a person as well. If he’s gone on a bit of a journey from closed-mindedness and fear to acceptance and maybe even positivity … then good on him.

Even if it is just the free whisky helping him take those steps.

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