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DISSERTATION RESEARCH HELP

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Hello you lovely lot.

This one is mainly for the ladies, but men feel free to join in.

My ADHD/ASD has meant that my dissertation is due in on the 16th and I’m not even half way yet!

Anyway, it is titled ‘Why are women slut-shamed?’ I have 3 chapters

1) Social media (completed)

2) Class and Religion (doing now)

3) Impact - how do women push back? Arguing with the patriarchy - *THIS IS WHERE YOU COME IN!! *

I’d love real womens input on this. What do you think of the word slut? Do you hate the word? Do you embrace it? Would you mind being called a slut? And mainly-PERSONAL EXPERIENCES OF SLUT-SHAMING. I have included mine.

Anything I use will remain anonymous unless you want to be referenced, and if any of you contribute and want a copy once it’s submitted I’m happy to send.

Thanks in advance.

*BECAUSE I’M AT A DEADLINE I PROBABLY WILL JUST BE READING AND NOT COMMENTING UNLESS I HAVE A SPECIFIC QUESTION, BUT WILL GET BACK ONTO IT ONCE I’M DONE*

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By *isaB45Woman
over a year ago

Fabville

I don't like it.

Pretty much most of the sweary words and insults are female-based.

It's the age-old thing that men can enjoy sex, but not women.

I know that some women like it, and that is their choice. But for me,it's about respect for me, and my own self-respect.

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By *erces LetiferMan
over a year ago

Somewhere off the edge of the map... 'ere there be monsters

Wait... you're not from Sydney University are you!?

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Wait... you're not from Sydney University are you!?"

Haha…I’ve been caught. I AM ‘Sydney university’

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By *ose-tinted GlassesMan
over a year ago

Glasgow / London

For that final chapter on ‘how do women push back?’ I’d want to see some comment on how the word ‘slut’ and its meaning are actively reclaimed by some - slut pride if you like. (I’m thinking of music here, from riot grrrl to hip hop, but I’m sure you could go broader.)

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"For that final chapter on ‘how do women push back?’ I’d want to see some comment on how the word ‘slut’ and its meaning are actively reclaimed by some - slut pride if you like. (I’m thinking of music here, from riot grrrl to hip hop, but I’m sure you could go broader.)"

Yep, love that..thanks. I’m definitely looking at the ‘slut walk’ too

See? Procrastinating again, said I wouldn’t comment…bloody adhd

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't mind the word. Like any word, it can be said to us in a positive or negative context, depends on how the person saying it feels. How we react to it is what creates the uproar, if I don't see it as a negative word it can't be used as armour by people who do.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Are you thinking you'll just get inspiration from people's points, but then go get credible sources to cite? Just with you mentioning ADHD and procrastination, you wouldn't want to get bogged down with a thread you can't really use as evidence?

Promise I'm not being a spoilsport! I just did my dissertation in the last couple of years too, left it right down to the wire and Fab was at fault for a lot of my distraction! I can just relate

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I like the word if it's used in the moment by someone I have built up trust with over time.

However I often wonder if misogynists use it as an insult to women who are empowered by their own sexuality, attack what is seen as a threat because they don't know how else to break down the barrier

Women have agency over their bodies and it's their rules.

I don't normally respond to being slut shamed, to shame me I'd have to care what people think and that gives others credence. And I really couldn't give a flying fuck tbh

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Good luck on your dissertation btw

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By *ellinever70Woman
over a year ago

Ayrshire

Are women on a sex site the best sample to use?

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

I think you should start with a literature review rather than asking an internet forum.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Are you thinking you'll just get inspiration from people's points, but then go get credible sources to cite? Just with you mentioning ADHD and procrastination, you wouldn't want to get bogged down with a thread you can't really use as evidence?

Promise I'm not being a spoilsport! I just did my dissertation in the last couple of years too, left it right down to the wire and Fab was at fault for a lot of my distraction! I can just relate "

Haha..no it’s fine

I do have sources to cite, but want to include my own research. I’ve done one survey, but would like to include some quotes/opinions to support my conclusion too. Glad I’m not the only one who leaves things to last minute!

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Are women on a sex site the best sample to use?"

Haha..I have lots of input from others, but for me this is where I’ll get more honest input. Even though it’s a sex site not everyone likes to be seen as a slut x

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I think you should start with a literature review rather than asking an internet forum. "

Got that already x

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Good luck on your dissertation btw "

Thankyou and thanks for your input x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Are women on a sex site the best sample to use?"

Why not? It's a good platform to research from and I should imagine the lady will use a triangulated approach to data collection so will have another 2 methods which will validate her findings

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By *ellinever70Woman
over a year ago

Ayrshire


"Are women on a sex site the best sample to use?

Haha..I have lots of input from others, but for me this is where I’ll get more honest input. Even though it’s a sex site not everyone likes to be seen as a slut x"

No, I meant in terms of them being representative of all women

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I don't like it.

Pretty much most of the sweary words and insults are female-based.

It's the age-old thing that men can enjoy sex, but not women.

I know that some women like it, and that is their choice. But for me,it's about respect for me, and my own self-respect. "

Thankyou for that, it’s an interesting one for sure. I’m actually still deciding on how I feel about it. I think I’m ok with it if it’s in a sexual situation, but am agreeing on the respect thing in day to day life, but I post pics on Instagram so can I be offended?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You could use a foucauldian perspective for your last theme. Look for subjectivity and how it is done through inter subjectivity and of course positioning.

Sorry, I am mansplaining but if you are interested to see how marginalised individuals push back against the dominant discourse, Foucault and even Said were the expert on that subject.

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By *nightsoftheCoffeeTableCouple
over a year ago

Leeds

It depends on what contexts it's used, as an insult personally I don't like it, I mean men don't have an equivalent, I feel it's a kind of old fashioned view women shouldn't sleep around, this day and age we're more open and enjoying our sexuality and there's less shame on women having their share of the fun.

When it's used in terms of kink, women referring to themselves, little banter I've absolutely no issue with it at all.

Mrs

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By *ittlebirdWoman
over a year ago

The Big Smoke

Personally I love the word slut - so much so I have it tattooed on me somewhere.

I think that has taken many years to get to that stage though and I feel now completely at ease with my own sexuality.

Society definitely still holds that word in particular as a bad thing which contrasts with “stud” for men.

The only thing that will change the perception is to rage against the machine and do our own thing.

Just my two-pence worth and hope it helps OP

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By *uke olovingmanMan
over a year ago

Gravesend

I'm with you 100% with the religion angle ...there was a program on last night arguing that female sexuality is stronger than male....the oldest profession is not prostitution...its midwifery...from ancient times women gleaned knowledge of not only childbirth..but also pain relief and control of fertility...these experts in the communities were the midwives ..wise women learned in herbal treatments and traditions....with the rise of male centric religions these women were ostracised and labelled witches....because the priests wanted to take control and for hundreds of years female sexuality has been controlled by males through religion...also

There was a section where it was claimed that women are more visually stimulated by than men ...how many of you ladies gave perving sunglasses?

One more facet of interest was the 80:20 rule ...that might even be true on fab....80% of women want 20% of the males ...whereas men are more even..Happy with a 1:1 ratio..so women are naturally more choosy ...not just basing their choices on pure looks but considering social and providing factors as well...this gives rise to resentment and hence the slut shaming from the men ...hopefully some of this makes some sense ..Good luck with your work xx

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By *eyond PurityCouple
over a year ago

Lincolnshire

Said in the right context C absolutely loves it - being a slut (in that moment) isn’t a bad thing, it’s showing that she is liberated enough to let go and just enjoy herself.

It’s said, by me, as a term of empowerment as I can see her change physically and mentally when I’ve called her it and it perfectly captures her feelings and desires at the time.

Do I call her it often? No and not in every day life…but it the right moment it perfectly describes her. Words said in the right way, by the right people, change the context of the word completely.

K

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By *ust PeachyWoman
over a year ago

Prestonish


"Hello you lovely lot.

This one is mainly for the ladies, but men feel free to join in.

My ADHD/ASD has meant that my dissertation is due in on the 16th and I’m not even half way yet!

Anyway, it is titled ‘Why are women slut-shamed?’ I have 3 chapters

1) Social media (completed)

2) Class and Religion (doing now)

3) Impact - how do women push back? Arguing with the patriarchy - *THIS IS WHERE YOU COME IN!! *

I’d love real womens input on this. What do you think of the word slut? Do you hate the word? Do you embrace it? Would you mind being called a slut? And mainly-PERSONAL EXPERIENCES OF SLUT-SHAMING. I have included mine.

Anything I use will remain anonymous unless you want to be referenced, and if any of you contribute and want a copy once it’s submitted I’m happy to send.

Thanks in advance.

*BECAUSE I’M AT A DEADLINE I PROBABLY WILL JUST BE READING AND NOT COMMENTING UNLESS I HAVE A SPECIFIC QUESTION, BUT WILL GET BACK ONTO IT ONCE I’M DONE*"

I’m not a fan of the word slut - but it’s just the tip of the iceberg. Most derogatory terms are feminine and refer to women - slut, whore, slag, tart - and then the old English harlot, strumpet, slattern - and that’s just the tip of the iceberg.

Compare that to the terminology used for promiscuous men - who are generally admired for the same behaviour.

It would be a huge mistake, however, to assume that all this negative and often aggressive language originates only from males - many of the worst attitudes and behaviours come from our fellow women. A woman viewed as promiscuous is often treated as an outcast by other women - perhaps because she is perceived as a threat.

Slut shaming isn’t just a problem in society at large - the judicial system is still very narrow minded and patriarchal - and if a scantily clad woman in a night out is sexually assaulted then the defence is that she was a ‘asking for it’ - and when you look at the appalling conviction rates for r*pe in this country you can tell that this is often upheld.

As a 54 year old who has enjoyed sex all my adult life I’ve been slut shamed in many occasions. I made the ‘mistake’ of having sex outside of long term relationships in the small town I live in when in my late teens/early twenties - and was called a slag and worse on many occasions. It got to the stage where no guy in my home town would date me for fear of what his friends might say.

Fast forward to the age of 45 when I became single again and - lesson learned - I’ve confined my sexual activities to the swinging community and sleep with no-one in the ‘real’ world.

However - word got out amongst some of the school parents that I’m a swinger (quite a few profiles on here are anonymous’stalker’ profiles - created only for the purpose of ‘outing’ people).

My daughter was accosted at school by another pupil and told that her mum was a pr*stitute (she was obviously mortified) - and another school mum contacted my employer at the time.

I don’t think it’s just the patriarchy we need to hit back at - we need to educate EVERYONE from an early age to understand that we should all be able to dress as we please and that being sexually active/promiscuous doesn’t make anyone a lesser human.

Attitudes have changed a little since I was young - but not enough.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Hello you lovely lot.

This one is mainly for the ladies, but men feel free to join in.

My ADHD/ASD has meant that my dissertation is due in on the 16th and I’m not even half way yet!

Anyway, it is titled ‘Why are women slut-shamed?’ I have 3 chapters

1) Social media (completed)

2) Class and Religion (doing now)

3) Impact - how do women push back? Arguing with the patriarchy - *THIS IS WHERE YOU COME IN!! *

I’d love real womens input on this. What do you think of the word slut? Do you hate the word? Do you embrace it? Would you mind being called a slut? And mainly-PERSONAL EXPERIENCES OF SLUT-SHAMING. I have included mine.

Anything I use will remain anonymous unless you want to be referenced, and if any of you contribute and want a copy once it’s submitted I’m happy to send.

Thanks in advance.

*BECAUSE I’M AT A DEADLINE I PROBABLY WILL JUST BE READING AND NOT COMMENTING UNLESS I HAVE A SPECIFIC QUESTION, BUT WILL GET BACK ONTO IT ONCE I’M DONE*

I’m not a fan of the word slut - but it’s just the tip of the iceberg. Most derogatory terms are feminine and refer to women - slut, whore, slag, tart - and then the old English harlot, strumpet, slattern - and that’s just the tip of the iceberg.

Compare that to the terminology used for promiscuous men - who are generally admired for the same behaviour.

It would be a huge mistake, however, to assume that all this negative and often aggressive language originates only from males - many of the worst attitudes and behaviours come from our fellow women. A woman viewed as promiscuous is often treated as an outcast by other women - perhaps because she is perceived as a threat.

Slut shaming isn’t just a problem in society at large - the judicial system is still very narrow minded and patriarchal - and if a scantily clad woman in a night out is sexually assaulted then the defence is that she was a ‘asking for it’ - and when you look at the appalling conviction rates for r*pe in this country you can tell that this is often upheld.

As a 54 year old who has enjoyed sex all my adult life I’ve been slut shamed in many occasions. I made the ‘mistake’ of having sex outside of long term relationships in the small town I live in when in my late teens/early twenties - and was called a slag and worse on many occasions. It got to the stage where no guy in my home town would date me for fear of what his friends might say.

Fast forward to the age of 45 when I became single again and - lesson learned - I’ve confined my sexual activities to the swinging community and sleep with no-one in the ‘real’ world.

However - word got out amongst some of the school parents that I’m a swinger (quite a few profiles on here are anonymous’stalker’ profiles - created only for the purpose of ‘outing’ people).

My daughter was accosted at school by another pupil and told that her mum was a pr*stitute (she was obviously mortified) - and another school mum contacted my employer at the time.

I don’t think it’s just the patriarchy we need to hit back at - we need to educate EVERYONE from an early age to understand that we should all be able to dress as we please and that being sexually active/promiscuous doesn’t make anyone a lesser human.

Attitudes have changed a little since I was young - but not enough.

"

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By *imi_RougeWoman
over a year ago

Portsmouth

I really don't like it, so many negative connotations. It's just another way to try and degrade women, or punish us for enjoying a simple pleasure in life. As others have said, derogatory compared to the language that's used for men who enjoy the same pleasures.

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By *eavenNhellCouple
over a year ago

carrbrook stalybridge


"Hello you lovely lot.

This one is mainly for the ladies, but men feel free to join in.

My ADHD/ASD has meant that my dissertation is due in on the 16th and I’m not even half way yet!

Anyway, it is titled ‘Why are women slut-shamed?’ I have 3 chapters

1) Social media (completed)

2) Class and Religion (doing now)

3) Impact - how do women push back? Arguing with the patriarchy - *THIS IS WHERE YOU COME IN!! *

I’d love real womens input on this. What do you think of the word slut? Do you hate the word? Do you embrace it? Would you mind being called a slut? And mainly-PERSONAL EXPERIENCES OF SLUT-SHAMING. I have included mine.

Anything I use will remain anonymous unless you want to be referenced, and if any of you contribute and want a copy once it’s submitted I’m happy to send.

Thanks in advance.

*BECAUSE I’M AT A DEADLINE I PROBABLY WILL JUST BE READING AND NOT COMMENTING UNLESS I HAVE A SPECIFIC QUESTION, BUT WILL GET BACK ONTO IT ONCE I’M DONE*"
are you from Sydney uni ?

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Hello you lovely lot.

This one is mainly for the ladies, but men feel free to join in.

My ADHD/ASD has meant that my dissertation is due in on the 16th and I’m not even half way yet!

Anyway, it is titled ‘Why are women slut-shamed?’ I have 3 chapters

1) Social media (completed)

2) Class and Religion (doing now)

3) Impact - how do women push back? Arguing with the patriarchy - *THIS IS WHERE YOU COME IN!! *

I’d love real womens input on this. What do you think of the word slut? Do you hate the word? Do you embrace it? Would you mind being called a slut? And mainly-PERSONAL EXPERIENCES OF SLUT-SHAMING. I have included mine.

Anything I use will remain anonymous unless you want to be referenced, and if any of you contribute and want a copy once it’s submitted I’m happy to send.

Thanks in advance.

*BECAUSE I’M AT A DEADLINE I PROBABLY WILL JUST BE READING AND NOT COMMENTING UNLESS I HAVE A SPECIFIC QUESTION, BUT WILL GET BACK ONTO IT ONCE I’M DONE*are you from Sydney uni ? "

Pinupandwindmill AKA Sydney University

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By *eyond PurityCouple
over a year ago

Lincolnshire

I only like the term within the confines of our closed door antics, and only used by those who truly know me. I hated the word altogether until recent years, when I've learned a more positive use of the word. I'd be horrified if I was seen as a slut by anyone outside of our circle.

I think this lifestyle is not accepted in societal terms, and for that reason, lots of us hide this side for fear of judgement.

Before joining Fab, I'd describe my understanding and sexual experience as limited and naive. I felt shame and did what I thought was required of me sexually.

My sex realm has since turned upside down - all for the better!

I'd like to have some open, sex-positive conversations with my daughter, so she can feel liberated and confident in her own sex choices but I know her father will just turn it into a negative and use it as a weapon against me. I'm wrangling with this currently, as I want her to have a different experience.

Totally unconnected, I found this article online, which touches on the emotional drivers for slutty behaviour...

https://www.harleytherapy.co.uk/counselling/promiscuity-and-depression.htm

I don't suffer with depression, I came at this from the angle of wanting to find myself sexually, and in doing so I've opened a few extra (fun) doors.

I do recognise a few people on here though that certainly use Fab as a distraction from real life, which could be seen as an unhealthy impact, passed off as 'pushing back'.

Best of luck with your dissertation.

C

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By *nabelle21Woman
over a year ago

B38

It's not just men who slut shame.

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By *ornywelsh2sumCouple
over a year ago

Neath valley.

In the right sinario slut is fine. But in vanilla word id flip.

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By *nabelle21Woman
over a year ago

B38

I was never fond of the word, I'd only ever heard it in derogatory terms.

Now, under some circumstances I get why it is used in the bedroom.

I have engaged during 'play' on a very rare occasion with the word being used but it's not really my bag.

If owning my sexuality and doing it my way makes me a slut, so be it!

But, I don't feel like I have to reappropriate the word making it a positive.

Good luck with it all OP.

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By *ames250122Man
over a year ago

Worcester


"Hello you lovely lot.

This one is mainly for the ladies, but men feel free to join in.

My ADHD/ASD has meant that my dissertation is due in on the 16th and I’m not even half way yet!

Anyway, it is titled ‘Why are women slut-shamed?’ I have 3 chapters

1) Social media (completed)

2) Class and Religion (doing now)

3) Impact - how do women push back? Arguing with the patriarchy - *THIS IS WHERE YOU COME IN!! *

I’d love real womens input on this. What do you think of the word slut? Do you hate the word? Do you embrace it? Would you mind being called a slut? And mainly-PERSONAL EXPERIENCES OF SLUT-SHAMING. I have included mine.

Anything I use will remain anonymous unless you want to be referenced, and if any of you contribute and want a copy once it’s submitted I’m happy to send.

Thanks in advance.

*BECAUSE I’M AT A DEADLINE I PROBABLY WILL JUST BE READING AND NOT COMMENTING UNLESS I HAVE A SPECIFIC QUESTION, BUT WILL GET BACK ONTO IT ONCE I’M DONE*"

Hiya, so I’m a guy and appreciate this may not be very helpful. However my thoughts on why Woman get slut shamed, boils down to fear and control. This is only my perspective and it nothing original. Also I certainly don’t mean to offend anyone. However when it comes to sex, the opportunity to have sex, tends to be more available to woman. Heck they can’t even walk the streets without unwanted sexual advances (none of which is their fault or problem). However in olden times, it was male dominated and ego driven and so the easiest way for the church and society to rob woman of their right to enjoy and explore sex was to shame them. Sadly old archetypes are stupidly hard to get rid of once engraved into a society. Many guys who would judge a girl that way today are themselves no different, it’s just harder and so ego, jealousy and maybe even feeling they can’t compete leads to falling back on such old and backwards thinking. Then there are other woman who have also been brought up in this controlling society expectation. This is echoed particularly in Woman magazines and media. One example being the public debate on if it was morally right for a woman like Sharon Stone to be able to adopt a child after she made films like basic instinct. I think it gets even more complicated then with how much more complicated woman friendship dynamic works. Where woman are supportive and nice to each other’s faces but quick to say bad things about each other to other woman. One thing that always a soft target in those cases is a woman’s sexual proclivity. Hope what I’ve said is ok and not trying to teach gramma to suck eggs. I’d happily embrace the title of being a male slut as I don’t care for titles or peoples/ society views. The simplest way I can think of though for woman to push back would be to make them irrelevant. You have nothing to prove or justify, so just do you without worrying about society expectations and eventually they fade away. Sadly though there are many parts of the world where far more active action needs to happen by politicians, organisations and charities. Again I’m so sorry if this isn’t helpful or complete rubbish but I hope your dissertation goes well x

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By *rHotNottsMan
over a year ago

Dubai & Nottingham

In class & religion if you have time you should look up Kurdish feminism / resistance and. The work of Abdulla occllan on the history of female inequality 1st,2nd,3rd sexual raptures it explains how we are where we are now

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By *rHotNottsMan
over a year ago

Dubai & Nottingham


"It's not just men who slut shame."

Far from it in fact. Sociologically men are violent and abusive verbally when they can’t get sex , whereas the same problem in women produces mean girl behaviour; they gang up to shame bully the competition

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By *ust PeachyWoman
over a year ago

Prestonish


"It's not just men who slut shame.

Far from it in fact. Sociologically men are violent and abusive verbally when they can’t get sex , whereas the same problem in women produces mean girl behaviour; they gang up to shame bully the competition "

I find this can be very prevalent in the swinging community - probably because ‘who’s met who’ is far more open on a site like this due to verifications - and even though there’s much debate about the huge male:female ratio - often most of the women want to meet the same, small percentage of guys (generally the guys who are successful with women in the real world too). The idea that a large group of females can gang up on one female purely because she meets people they want was entirely new to me until I joined fab.

We haven’t come far at all from the territorial behaviours of our past.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Wow! Thankyou everyone who contributed

Especially to those who were so open with their stories. It will really help me tie it all in with my literary reviews and research for both chapter 3 and conclusion.

I will be using some as quotes, obviously with no identification at all.

But even though this is a ‘sex site’ opinions and views still differ. Writing my dissertation and researching has given me lots to think about myself and how I interpret the use of the word.

Jen x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You’re welcome

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By *ecadent_DevonMan
over a year ago

Okehampton

Have you looked into the “Slutwalk” (started in Toronto, Canada 2011). I’m sure you have but that is (was?) a global group attempting to reclaim the word.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Have you looked into the “Slutwalk” (started in Toronto, Canada 2011). I’m sure you have but that is (was?) a global group attempting to reclaim the word. "

Yep, that’s where I am on it now actually x

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"It's not just men who slut shame.

Far from it in fact. Sociologically men are violent and abusive verbally when they can’t get sex , whereas the same problem in women produces mean girl behaviour; they gang up to shame bully the competition

I find this can be very prevalent in the swinging community - probably because ‘who’s met who’ is far more open on a site like this due to verifications - and even though there’s much debate about the huge male:female ratio - often most of the women want to meet the same, small percentage of guys (generally the guys who are successful with women in the real world too). The idea that a large group of females can gang up on one female purely because she meets people they want was entirely new to me until I joined fab.

We haven’t come far at all from the territorial behaviours of our past. "

Oh wow That has surprised me! Do you mind telling me more? I really wouldn’t have thought that of this site

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By *adMerWoman
over a year ago

Sandwich

I have embraced the word slut for over 30 years now. When anyone tries to slut shame me, it usually backfires and they end up feeling ashamed

I am not a fan of it to the extent that I want it written on my body etc, but that’s probably more to do with my dominant streak.

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