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Connecting with people

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By *litterbabe OP   Woman
over a year ago

hiding from cock pics

On the back of my other thread about Planet Sex with Cara Delevingne, she talks a lot about life is about connecting with other people.

That has really got me thinking. I'm not sure if deeper into the series she explains a bit more, as I've only so far watched 2 episodes, but I am really interested in making better connections.

How do we connect with each other how can we better our connections?

I'm wondering what I can do to connect more with people around me.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Fab Linkedin

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By *uke olovingmanMan
over a year ago

Gravesend

It's a mystery..just keep trying...and diversify

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Connect in what way ?

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

Engage and be interested or do you mean physically?

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By *eliWoman
over a year ago

.

I think by being actually present in our interactions with people. We talk a lot about honest and open communication with others but a lot of that also depends on how open we are to connecting with another. I think if you invite people in with genuine intent, a lot more will want to connect than you'd expect.

We want to talk to others, we're naturally sociable people. Even those who proclaim to be otherwise, it's not so much about quantity as quality. But at the same time, we've got to meet people half way, not just have it all on our terms. Which is a lot easier typed than actioned isn't it?

I was going to start verging into linguistic territory and talking about the importance of matching energies, mirroring communication styles but then realised I'd spend several paragraphs talking about such a vast topic. Interpersonal relationships are something I have a keen interest in, in part because of the ND thing, in part because it relates to work. I do think that with the emergence ofsl social media, the almost reliance at times we've lost some of the natural skills. Not to mention the rise in self, almost self focused zeitgeist.

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By *phroditeWoman
over a year ago

(She/ her) in Sensualityland


".. but I am really interested in making better connections.

How do we connect with each other how can we better our connections?

I'm wondering what I can do to connect more with people around me."

Really good question, OP!

I think being interested, genuinely interested in what the other person has to say is a good place to start.

Then applying good listening skills and finding out about them before talking them to death about ourselves.

Respect, kindness, empathy towards others and being authentic, truthful ourselves might be a way to build better connections.

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By *phroditeWoman
over a year ago

(She/ her) in Sensualityland


"I think by being actually present in our interactions with people. We talk a lot about honest and open communication with others but a lot of that also depends on how open we are to connecting with another. I think if you invite people in with genuine intent, a lot more will want to connect than you'd expect.

We want to talk to others, we're naturally sociable people. Even those who proclaim to be otherwise, it's not so much about quantity as quality. But at the same time, we've got to meet people half way, not just have it all on our terms. Which is a lot easier typed than actioned isn't it?

I was going to start verging into linguistic territory and talking about the importance of matching energies, mirroring communication styles but then realised I'd spend several paragraphs talking about such a vast topic. Interpersonal relationships are something I have a keen interest in, in part because of the ND thing, in part because it relates to work. I do think that with the emergence ofsl social media, the almost reliance at times we've lost some of the natural skills. Not to mention the rise in self, almost self focused zeitgeist."
This in a nutshell - so much better said than what I put.

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By *ealitybitesMan
over a year ago

Belfast

The best way is not to take a paint by numbers approach or to try and connect with multiple people at once.

Any lasting connection needs a solid foundation regardless of whether it's platonic or sexual and that takes effort from both parties.

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By *riar BelisseWoman
over a year ago

Bliss

Connection is a 2 way street, you may try as hard as you like, but if the other person has ulterior motives or doesn't want to have a stronger connection it's a futile exercise

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By *rHotNottsMan
over a year ago

Dubai & Nottingham


"I think by being actually present in our interactions with people. We talk a lot about honest and open communication with others but a lot of that also depends on how open we are to connecting with another. I think if you invite people in with genuine intent, a lot more will want to connect than you'd expect.

We want to talk to others, we're naturally sociable people. Even those who proclaim to be otherwise, it's not so much about quantity as quality. But at the same time, we've got to meet people half way, not just have it all on our terms. Which is a lot easier typed than actioned isn't it?

I was going to start verging into linguistic territory and talking about the importance of matching energies, mirroring communication styles but then realised I'd spend several paragraphs talking about such a vast topic. Interpersonal relationships are something I have a keen interest in, in part because of the ND thing, in part because it relates to work. I do think that with the emergence ofsl social media, the almost reliance at times we've lost some of the natural skills. Not to mention the rise in self, almost self focused zeitgeist."

I think the fact that some here want deeper connections to is good , many people actively avoid it through insecurity.

Deeper connections make you more vulnerable and accountable to others that’s why insecure people avoid them, fear of failure , failing them or being exposed as a fake. But depth also helps you and your friends move forward and grow. But know that it never stays the same so is less safe / easy. It may even end?

Choose friends carefully., Make sure your circle of friends is equally balanced with both aspirational role models and people who need support. If it’s all people needing you, ask yourself why that is.

Spend occasional quality time together. I wild camp with my my mentors and mentees and try to get away with fab friends and torn phones off

Don’t be scared to plan & ask difficult questions of your real friends or answer them yourself.

If the conversation is too shallow and easy tell them or move on. Quality over quantity of friends

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By *ou only live onceMan
over a year ago

London

An over simplification, but isn't it just time?

I know for me, even though you can have immediate chemistry, connections build over time. Sexual or otherwise, but investing time in a person (and vice versa) is really the only way I know how to build a real connection.

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By *litterbabe OP   Woman
over a year ago

hiding from cock pics

Some absolutely brilliant and thought-provoking comments.

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By *ose-tinted GlassesMan
over a year ago

Glasgow / London

Someone said something on here lately about ‘listening to hear, not to reply’ and I thought that was an outstanding way of putting it.

Call it active listening if you like buzzwords, but that’s the essence of it nailed in a way anybody can understand and do.

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By *ellinever70Woman
over a year ago

Ayrshire


"An over simplification, but isn't it just time?

I know for me, even though you can have immediate chemistry, connections build over time. Sexual or otherwise, but investing time in a person (and vice versa) is really the only way I know how to build a real connection. "

I think this nails it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I use Nokia

If you know, you know

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By *rHotNottsMan
over a year ago

Dubai & Nottingham


"An over simplification, but isn't it just time?

I know for me, even though you can have immediate chemistry, connections build over time. Sexual or otherwise, but investing time in a person (and vice versa) is really the only way I know how to build a real connection. "

You can also have a friend or partner for years and neither of you grow or it always feels one sided. It’s what you do with the time and I think sinetunes it’s not organic , it’s a choice by one ti make it or attempt to make go deeper and then it happens fast.

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By *viatrixWoman
over a year ago

Redhill

I am doing rather the opposite at the moment.

I am working on detachment. To everyone and everything. After a very traumatic month of November, I am resolute to not get overly attached to anyone. In the end it only ends in pain and suffering. It is easier to enjoy the here and now, the company, but not to get too emotionally invested. The traumatic event is not about a partner BTW- it’s about the dramatic death of my mother.

My job helps me with this. I work with different people every day, so enjoy the day, the work, the new colleagues and customers every day. And the next day is a totally new one!

So not interested in making connections ATM. Sorry for being a dark cloud haha

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I am doing rather the opposite at the moment.

I am working on detachment. To everyone and everything. After a very traumatic month of November, I am resolute to not get overly attached to anyone. In the end it only ends in pain and suffering. It is easier to enjoy the here and now, the company, but not to get too emotionally invested. The traumatic event is not about a partner BTW- it’s about the dramatic death of my mother.

My job helps me with this. I work with different people every day, so enjoy the day, the work, the new colleagues and customers every day. And the next day is a totally new one!

So not interested in making connections ATM. Sorry for being a dark cloud haha "

Very sorry about tu madre.

I dont think you're being a dark cloud ! I didn't really understand the OPs question but I'm not interested in 'connecting' with lots of people I meet. A few good strong connections chosen very carefully will do me.

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By *inky_couple2020Couple
over a year ago

North West


"I am doing rather the opposite at the moment.

I am working on detachment. To everyone and everything. After a very traumatic month of November, I am resolute to not get overly attached to anyone. In the end it only ends in pain and suffering. It is easier to enjoy the here and now, the company, but not to get too emotionally invested. The traumatic event is not about a partner BTW- it’s about the dramatic death of my mother.

My job helps me with this. I work with different people every day, so enjoy the day, the work, the new colleagues and customers every day. And the next day is a totally new one!

So not interested in making connections ATM. Sorry for being a dark cloud haha "

Awwwww amiga Mandando nuestros sentimientos de amistad y cuidado a tu familia

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By *ou only live onceMan
over a year ago

London


"I am doing rather the opposite at the moment.

I am working on detachment. To everyone and everything. After a very traumatic month of November, I am resolute to not get overly attached to anyone. In the end it only ends in pain and suffering. It is easier to enjoy the here and now, the company, but not to get too emotionally invested. The traumatic event is not about a partner BTW- it’s about the dramatic death of my mother.

My job helps me with this. I work with different people every day, so enjoy the day, the work, the new colleagues and customers every day. And the next day is a totally new one!

So not interested in making connections ATM. Sorry for being a dark cloud haha "

Not a dark cloud at all, and I'm sorry you had a tough month. I think this is equally important: sometimes too many connections can be tiring. Quality over quantity is a cliche, but mainly because it's so often true.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex


"I am doing rather the opposite at the moment.

I am working on detachment. To everyone and everything. After a very traumatic month of November, I am resolute to not get overly attached to anyone. In the end it only ends in pain and suffering. It is easier to enjoy the here and now, the company, but not to get too emotionally invested. The traumatic event is not about a partner BTW- it’s about the dramatic death of my mother.

My job helps me with this. I work with different people every day, so enjoy the day, the work, the new colleagues and customers every day. And the next day is a totally new one!

So not interested in making connections ATM. Sorry for being a dark cloud haha "

So sorry about your mother.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I am doing rather the opposite at the moment.

I am working on detachment. To everyone and everything. After a very traumatic month of November, I am resolute to not get overly attached to anyone. In the end it only ends in pain and suffering. It is easier to enjoy the here and now, the company, but not to get too emotionally invested. The traumatic event is not about a partner BTW- it’s about the dramatic death of my mother.

My job helps me with this. I work with different people every day, so enjoy the day, the work, the new colleagues and customers every day. And the next day is a totally new one!

So not interested in making connections ATM. Sorry for being a dark cloud haha "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Connection is a 2 way street, you may try as hard as you like, but if the other person has ulterior motives or doesn't want to have a stronger connection it's a futile exercise

"

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