FabSwingers.com forum: Moods and their effect on people

By *phrodite OP Woman
over a year ago

(She/ her) in Sensualityland

There are some people in life (work, family, friends etc) that while they are genuinely good people... their moods can drag you down.

I wonder what it says about the individual that allows him/ herself to be dragged down..does it mean we are not very resilient if we allow this to happen? Or does it mean we show/ have too much empathy?

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By *ue care and attentionWoman
over a year ago

birmingham

Some people don't so much drag me down as wear me down

I can take so much of negativity but occasionally it tires me

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By *phrodite OP Woman
over a year ago

(She/ her) in Sensualityland

"Some people don't so much drag me down as wear me down

I can take so much of negativity but occasionally it tires me"
Tiring it can be, and I wonder sometimes at what point we should stop and look at protecting ourselves rather than allowing being tired out if that makes sense? I am not referring to anything or anybody specifically here..just thought about that this afternoon.

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

I try and stay away from negative people, i dont need dragging down by others got my own demons to cope with.

I dont mean people that are upset or having a bad day, some people just have a complete negative outlook on life woe is me. These are the ones i cant be doing with

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By *ouple in LancashireCouple
over a year ago

in Lancashire

i will support them as much as i can but there is a point whereby after a while i will also do some straight talking..

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By *unky monkeyMan
over a year ago

in the night garden

Negative peeps is bad anchors yo! Cut the rope! Set sail!

Incidentally when I read the title of this thread I initially read it as 'Moobs and their effect on people'.

Moobs can really bring everyone down!

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

Emotional vampires I call 'em. You can protect yourself to an extent but if you get a day when you're a bit vulnerable yourself they can really drag you down. Negativity is one of the worst as others have said and is easy to make a habit I work with someone like that and it is tough.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

An interesting topic .

It must be hard for this in the care industry to not let negativity creep in , and they surely need a bit of support and understanding .

Also anyone suffering misfortune and illness - so as a society and particularly those who are close to these folk we should recognise this ?

However when their moods affect ours it's a tough one - are we at fault for allowing this to happen ?

Or are they at fault for not recognising help and understanding when it's offered ?

Some folk are truly miserable by nature and their mood reflects it , others are not happy unless they have something to moan about so these types are probably best avoided .

Those who worry incessantly about things they can do nothing about and get moody ? Again best avoided but folk who are genuinely in a predicament and are willing to listen or to just use your shoulder to cry on - it's worth spending the time and effort in helping them

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By *phrodite OP Woman
over a year ago

(She/ her) in Sensualityland

"Negative peeps is bad anchors yo! Cut the rope! Set sail!

Incidentally when I read the title of this thread I initially read it as 'Moobs and their effect on people'.

Moobs can really bring everyone down!"
Trust you!

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By *phrodite OP Woman
over a year ago

(She/ her) in Sensualityland

"Emotional vampires I call 'em. You can protect yourself to an extent but if you get a day when you're a bit vulnerable yourself they can really drag you down. Negativity is one of the worst as others have said and is easy to make a habit I work with someone like that and it is tough."
This resonates with me... it depends on how I feel whether or not they havea profound effect. I also find that there are people in life that I dread meeting in the street or at social events, purely because they have a dragging down effect on me.

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By *B9 QueenWoman
over a year ago

Over the rainbow, under the bridge

"There are some people in life (work, family, friends etc) that while they are genuinely good people... their moods can drag you down.

Whilst my mother was dying I was giving a colleague a lift to work every morning and back again in the evening. I would drop her off and then rush over to look after mum. It was the most difficult time of my life.

Said colleague, whilst a lovely person, is also one of those whinging 'glass is half empty' kind of people. After what felt like an age of tolerating her moaning about what were, essentially, petty problems both on the way to work and on the way home I finally said, 'It could be worse'. She said, 'I don't know how!'. I replied,'Well, you could be watching your mother die.' (She knew about my mum's illness).

Shut her up pretty quickly, I can tell you!

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By *ue care and attentionWoman
over a year ago

birmingham

Mood hoovers and energy vampires

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By *phrodite OP Woman
over a year ago

(She/ her) in Sensualityland

"There are some people in life (work, family, friends etc) that while they are genuinely good people... their moods can drag you down.

Shut her up pretty quickly, I can tell you!"
I can understand how that must have felt for you and I think it is good that you spoke out eventually. Sometimes people can be very self focussed and not realise that there aer others so so much worse off.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Some people seem to love to wallow in despair. No matter how much you try to help them, they throw it back in your face and pretty much blame the rest of the world for their perceived misfortune.

It gets you down and sometimes the only way is to escape and not let them drag you down with them.

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

I think a balance otherwise we would drown in a mire of slushyness, insincerity & fawn.

half full is always better than half empty but so is a sense of perspective and fact.

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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

I don't know if it's that you allow yourself to be dragged down or having too much empathy. There are just some people who are black clouds and others that are sunshine on a rainy day. Most of us are both at different times and with different people.

I can think of someone I have a lot of time for but but I can't spend more than 90 minutes in her company without feeling that the life and joy has been sucked out of me. She is high energy and fun but she brings me down.

Twelve years ago my health was so bad it was difficult to do anything more than my very demanding job. Taking time off created other problems as letting the adrenaline levels drop made me feel even more poorly. No one but close family and friends experienced the black cloud me but I have always remembered what one of them said to me:

misery loves company but company doesn't welcome misery.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

ive been both sides - not so much wallowing -

ive always been the one that people come to for a fair opinion been told that im good at seeing both sides of a situation - when partner was dying it ws me who kept his family going, him and myself - and it wore me out - but yes the face was kept on but warned then when he passed i ws going to be of no use to anybody - funeral came and of course it was me who knew everybody in our circles of friends so i was everywhere - so i escaped with my son and crawled into a corner with a fair few jd and s (failed to get d*unk i might add) so to that extent peoples moods dont get me down - i think i can front it out - once those barriers came down though i was in as deep doo as i possibly could have been and i think i did go through a long negative stage and possibly did go on and bring others down with me - not intentionally -

now ive been that low im not as tolerant and have to walk away for my own sake - my job is a support worker for mental health patients and that be emotionally wearing but generally im detached from that -

sorry i think ive rambled if ive gone off topic i apologise

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

misery loves company but company doesn't welcome misery.

i really like that

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By *anSusieCouple
over a year ago

Midlothian

Never ask a negative person how they are, as the invitable surge of bad things follow. Instead ask, "Hi...., what's good in your life today?" It often throws negative people but does not invite a negative answer. If they answer with a negative simple say, "Yes, but what is good?"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My depression & anger as a teen was so bad my family were scared of my reactions to nearly anything & everything. Sometimes the silence was deafening when I was around.

It wasn't til I got myself locked up at 14 that I realised I had to change things for mine and there sakes.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I prefer to spend time with people with optimistic and positive outlook in life.

I would actively avoid spending time with moaners, whingers and downers, as it is hard for me to bite my tongue for the sake of being polite when they moan and groan about everyone else except themselves.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm actually surprised that my job doesn't drag me down more often - a lot of the time people really do need a good shake, take responsibility for themselves, and made aware of others with genuine problems - but I have to remain professional, positive and supportive.

Thankfully I have good friends and family, plus the ability to leave work at work - I wouldn't say I've become desensitised, just been in the job long enough to know not to take it home or drag me down

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm lucky my family stuck by me and now I'm just a loud piss taking joker as my sister calls me

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'm lucky my family stuck by me and now I'm just a loud piss taking joker as my sister calls me

Thank goodness they didn't give up on you..........or we'd be Rusty-less in the forums!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'm lucky my family stuck by me and now I'm just a loud piss taking joker as my sister calls me

Thank goodness they didn't give up on you..........or we'd be Rusty-less in the forums!

Lol

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By *phrodite OP Woman
over a year ago

(She/ her) in Sensualityland

"I'm lucky my family stuck by me and now I'm just a loud piss taking joker as my sister calls me

Thank goodness they didn't give up on you..........or we'd be Rusty-less in the forums!

"
Seconded

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