Join us FREE, we're FREE to use
Web's largest swingers site since 2006.
Already registered?
Login here
Join us FREE, we're FREE to use
Web's largest swingers site since 2006.
Already registered?
Login here
 | Back to forum list |
| Back to The Lounge |
| Jump to newest |  |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
 | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
 
I'm off to buy a Bluetooth kettle | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I woke up this morning feeling in quite an aroused state. It's a lovely feeling reaching down and wrapping my hand round my big warm, thick, hard cock... Ahem, anyway, I thought I would slip on some jogging bottoms and fleece and go downstairs to check out Fab. It was very dark this morning, so I drew the curtains hoping that in the half light I would see my clothes, which I did. I glanced down proudly at my huge erection that was protruding from my boxer shorts. I then very smugly said "Alexa turn on my kettle". My kettle is bluetooth, and there is nothing nicer than having the water boiled for you by the time you get down stairs. HOWEVER, The words that actually came out of my confused, morning numbed brain were "Alexa turn the light on". Alexa said “OK” On turned my bedroom light! In a panic I looked out the window to see if anyone saw, only to see the woman over the road drawing her curtains, in her dressing gown staring straight at me. My window ledges are low, my cock was very large... OMG what a start to the day. " technology eh whatever happened to switching the light on or turning the kettle on lol  | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"A bit of faux shock, but I suspect you may have made her day, today "Haha well lets hope so, it was like getting caught out in a photo booth.. haha. Beautiful profile Red, shame you don't live opposite me x | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"So is this about Alexa or just telling us all multiple times you have a big dick? "bit of both I guess | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"So is this about Alexa or just telling us all multiple times you have a big dick? "I was always told by my English teacher to use good descriptive words. How would you describe it? Please don't be offensive though hahaha | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"So is this about Alexa or just telling us all multiple times you have a big dick?
I was always told by my English teacher to use good descriptive words. How would you describe it? Please don't be offensive though hahaha"It sounds like everyone’s seen it | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"If i had a 'big warm thick hard' cock i'd be proud too!! Go get 'em "And an Alexa. #winningatlife | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I have regular 'misunderstandings' with Alex. I feel your pain "And with his sister Alexa! Lol | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Should be in the stories section " It wasn't a story, it was an anecdote to make people smile. Sorry you missed the point. | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
 | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Should be in the stories section It wasn't a story, it was an anecdote to make people smile. Sorry you missed the point. " Anecdotes are stor... nevermind | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Should be in the stories section It wasn't a story, it was an anecdote to make people smile. Sorry you missed the point. Anecdotes are stor... nevermind " A SHORT story to be precise. Was just trying to make people smile on a cold morning. Thats all.. | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"This is similar to my experience but i got the Alexa upgrade so i said turn the light on and Alexa said ‘ put your dick away soft lad no one needs that shrivelled sad looking chiplolata first thing in the morning!!’ - i think my ex may have been messing with it!! "This is brilliant, !! | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"So is this about Alexa or just telling us all multiple times you have a big dick?
I was always told by my English teacher to use good descriptive words. How would you describe it? Please don't be offensive though hahaha"You get an A+ for this boy. | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Should be in the stories section It wasn't a story, it was an anecdote to make people smile. Sorry you missed the point. " Oh well in that case, well done you! Who's a clever boy? Brightens up the whole day.  | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Should be in the stories section It wasn't a story, it was an anecdote to make people smile. Sorry you missed the point. " Oh and thankyou for clearing up for me what the point was. I really did wonder. | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"So is this about Alexa or just telling us all multiple times you have a big dick?
I was always told by my English teacher to use good descriptive words. How would you describe it? Please don't be offensive though hahaha
You get an A+ for this boy. "Haha, i concur!! | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
At least you didn’t decide to watch fab videos, with the windows open! Done that before!
Bloody Bluetooth! | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"As the kettle boiled you heard a knock at the door. Through the frosted glass panel you could see the outline of an attractive woman in a dressing gown which slipped open and you could see she was wearing nothing underneath. You reached for the knob....." Alexa, play pony | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"As the kettle boiled you heard a knock at the door. Through the frosted glass panel you could see the outline of an attractive woman in a dressing gown which slipped open and you could see she was wearing nothing underneath. You reached for the knob....." His warm one or the cold one on the door? | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Well it made me laugh And I've just woken up after a hard long night shift. I'm usually a grumpy bitch at this time I might add" I finished nights this morning...no going to bed for me until tonight | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Come on. Own up. Who looked at the ops profile to see if he was telling porkies about his size……." I looked to see how warm it looked. Turns out you can't tell | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Should this of been posted in the story section? " Bad bitches don't follow rulezzz | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Should this of been posted in the story section? " That's what I said lol | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Should this of been posted in the story section? That's what I said lol" Read like some poorly written erotica lol | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Should this of been posted in the story section? That's what I said lol Read like some poorly written erotica lol" I can't remember if he mentioned his huge cock | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Should this of been posted in the story section? That's what I said lol Read like some poorly written erotica lol" You....don't like warm penis? | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Should this of been posted in the story section? That's what I said lol Read like some poorly written erotica lol" You mean something like this…..? … as the door Opened i stepped Inside naked and shaking with anticipation..and trod on my absolutely enormous cock causing me to trip and as i landed i found myself cock first deep inside a nude model who was sitting for a portrait and was overcome with yet more emotion… whether it was the hairnet and curlers or the lit cigarette burning against my lip from hers that spurred me to act so foolishly…. And that m’lud rests the defences case
I should probably copyright this stuff eh?? | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
 badoomching | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"You stick with that story in court son
I'm off to buy a Bluetooth kettle" | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Should this of been posted in the story section? That's what I said lol Read like some poorly written erotica lol" But at least made us smile | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I woke up this morning feeling in quite an aroused state. It's a lovely feeling reaching down and wrapping my hand round my big warm, thick, hard cock... Ahem, anyway, I thought I would slip on some jogging bottoms and fleece and go downstairs to check out Fab. It was very dark this morning, so I drew the curtains hoping that in the half light I would see my clothes, which I did. I glanced down proudly at my huge erection that was protruding from my boxer shorts. I then very smugly said "Alexa turn on my kettle". My kettle is bluetooth, and there is nothing nicer than having the water boiled for you by the time you get down stairs. HOWEVER, The words that actually came out of my confused, morning numbed brain were "Alexa turn the light on". Alexa said “OK” On turned my bedroom light! In a panic I looked out the window to see if anyone saw, only to see the woman over the road drawing her curtains, in her dressing gown staring straight at me. My window ledges are low, my cock was very large... OMG what a start to the day. " Outstanding! | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Is that the same neighbour who was washing the car last time? Poor woman..." Busted! The ‘he/she’ neighbour? | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Save that totally hilarious story and tell it to the Grandkids one day. " As long as he doesn't miss out the staring proudly at his erection part. It's a key detail. | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"A bit of faux shock, but I suspect you may have made her day, today "Also going to say that you really don't know if she was embarrassed because you caught her perving! You probably wouldn't blame her - perhaps draw your curtains though  | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I've only just realised draw the curtains effectively means "change the position from where they are now". Does Alexa only change the bedroom light ? Or does every light go on ? Also, if you have a big cock, it doesn't matter how high the window sill is !" Alexa is VERY clever... So, turn on the light, is different to turn on my light, is different to turn on the stair light, turn on the LED light.. Turn on the heater, turn on the kettle, Blah blah blah. All set up as routines too, so they come on and off at different times of day for if i'm working or not.. It does get confusing though. | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"A bit of faux shock, but I suspect you may have made her day, today
Also going to say that you really don't know if she was embarrassed because you caught her perving!
You probably wouldn't blame her - perhaps draw your curtains though "No they were drawn, it was just getting light, so I opened them to let in the little bit of light there was. I could see out, no one could see in... Until I turned on the light by accident. Does no one else do this shit... I've written about it before on here. Last time I was downstairs and thought no one could see through the net curtains (I must ditch them). I've also done this kind of thing getting changed in my van with blacked out windows.... Only to realise the tint wasn't enough to hide my blushes. I can't even tell you what the worst embarrassing moment of my life was. I was only 18.. so many years ago now luckily. | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
  | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I've only just realised draw the curtains effectively means "change the position from where they are now". Does Alexa only change the bedroom light ? Or does every light go on ? Also, if you have a big cock, it doesn't matter how high the window sill is ! Alexa is VERY clever... So, turn on the light, is different to turn on my light, is different to turn on the stair light, turn on the LED light.. Turn on the heater, turn on the kettle, Blah blah blah. All set up as routines too, so they come on and off at different times of day for if i'm working or not.. It does get confusing though. "so you have to remember to say "the light" in the bedroom and "my light" in the living room. Feels like you've over complicated it tbh. Reprogram to say "the bedroom lights". Maybe be less likely to misspeak. I do get you tho. The other day I meant to say "can you pass the salt dear" instead I said "you've ruined my life you money grabbing bitch" (jk of course) | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Save that totally hilarious story and tell it to the Grandkids one day. As long as he doesn't miss out the staring proudly at his erection part. It's a key detail." And they will all chuckle with mirth | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Save that totally hilarious story and tell it to the Grandkids one day. As long as he doesn't miss out the staring proudly at his erection part. It's a key detail. And they will all chuckle with mirth" I just feel sorry for my penis, he probably thinks he's doing a bad job on account of me not looking down proudly at him enough... | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Save that totally hilarious story and tell it to the Grandkids one day. As long as he doesn't miss out the staring proudly at his erection part. It's a key detail. And they will all chuckle with mirth I just feel sorry for my penis, he probably thinks he's doing a bad job on account of me not looking down proudly at him enough..." You don't have to be big to be mighty! | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Save that totally hilarious story and tell it to the Grandkids one day. As long as he doesn't miss out the staring proudly at his erection part. It's a key detail. And they will all chuckle with mirth I just feel sorry for my penis, he probably thinks he's doing a bad job on account of me not looking down proudly at him enough... You don't have to be big to be mighty! " OUCH! | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Save that totally hilarious story and tell it to the Grandkids one day. As long as he doesn't miss out the staring proudly at his erection part. It's a key detail. And they will all chuckle with mirth I just feel sorry for my penis, he probably thinks he's doing a bad job on account of me not looking down proudly at him enough... You don't have to be big to be mighty! OUCH! "Ooh I was trying to be nice  | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
" I can't even tell you what the worst embarrassing moment of my life was. I was only 18.. so many years ago now luckily. " Were you in an empty gym changing room, taking pics in the mirror of your massive, rock hard penis when the cleaner walked in ? | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
" I can't even tell you what the worst embarrassing moment of my life was. I was only 18.. so many years ago now luckily. Were you in an empty gym changing room, taking pics in the mirror of your massive, rock hard penis when the cleaner walked in ?" omg what an assumption | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
" I can't even tell you what the worst embarrassing moment of my life was. I was only 18.. so many years ago now luckily. Were you in an empty gym changing room, taking pics in the mirror of your massive, rock hard penis when the cleaner walked in ?" I honestly can't tell you, it actually haunted me for years
Let me think if I can change it, so it's not so close to the truth. lol | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
" I honestly can't tell you, it actually haunted me for years
"Did the wanking dead put the willies up you ? | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
" I honestly can't tell you, it actually haunted me for years
Did the wanking dead put the willies up you ?"I'll put the bloody willies up you in a minute! | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Should be in the stories section " Was just going to say that lol | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Should be in the stories section Was just going to say that lol" Oh dear god.. | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I might get a Bluetooth kettle and Bluetooth teabags too" If you do that you need a bluetooth tap | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I might get a Bluetooth kettle and Bluetooth teabags too If you do that you need a bluetooth tap " No, the kettle is actually Wi-Fi, the coffee and sugar bluetooth. Tea bags are so VHS, don't even get me started on the Earl Grey! | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
xx | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I accidentally flashed at a golfer yesterday so I feel your pain xx "Tell us more | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I accidentally flashed at a golfer yesterday so I feel your pain xx "*Accidentally* | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I accidentally flashed at a golfer yesterday so I feel your pain xx
*Accidentally* "Husband left the hotel room early opened the curtains. I got up naked (obviously) went to close the curtains and locked eyes with an unsuspecting golfer just about to tee off | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
" I got up naked (obviously) went to close the curtains and locked eyes with an unsuspecting golfer just about to tee off "Did he swing into the rough ? | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"So is this about Alexa or just telling us all multiple times you have a big dick? bit of both I guess "5" or 8" ? 
A
*the Alexa....obviously | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I accidentally flashed at a golfer yesterday so I feel your pain xx
*Accidentally*
Husband left the hotel room early opened the curtains. I got up naked (obviously) went to close the curtains and locked eyes with an unsuspecting golfer just about to tee off "Oh my, what a treat. I bet he soon grabbed his (golf) balls and had a great time working on his (golf) stroke! | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I'm still on this bit 'my big warm, thick, hard cock...... ' Might be here some time...... " Are you doing mental gymnastics, Granny? | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I doubt its the first time she has observed morning wood. "Brilliant!! | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I might get a Bluetooth kettle and Bluetooth teabags too If you do that you need a bluetooth tap No, the kettle is actually Wi-Fi, the coffee and sugar bluetooth. Tea bags are so VHS, don't even get me started on the Earl Grey!" Is the Earl Grey wind up or steam valve ? | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Once the local vicar was round collecting for undernourished hedgehogs and I wanted to ask Alexa to play Psalm 69 so we could share a moment of spiritual contemplation but I actually said 'Play 69 Porn' and got an audio of two enthusiastic amateurs from Port Talbot engaged in mutual oral pleasure. Luckily the vicar is hard of hearing so I quickly gave him twenty quid and ushered him out before he realised my embarrassing error. "Thats fantastic love it... | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"A bit of faux shock, but I suspect you may have made her day, today
Also going to say that you really don't know if she was embarrassed because you caught her perving!
You probably wouldn't blame her - perhaps draw your curtains though
No they were drawn, it was just getting light, so I opened them to let in the little bit of light there was. I could see out, no one could see in... Until I turned on the light by accident.
Does no one else do this shit... I've written about it before on here. Last time I was downstairs and thought no one could see through the net curtains (I must ditch them). I've also done this kind of thing getting changed in my van with blacked out windows.... Only to realise the tint wasn't enough to hide my blushes.
I can't even tell you what the worst embarrassing moment of my life was. I was only 18.. so many years ago now luckily. "You spend quite some time without wearing clothes and showing your huge erect cock off! | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| Post new Message to Thread |
| back to top |  |
