FabSwingers.com forum: Conflicted for Christmas.

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I’m coming to one year sobriety in Jan, I quit the booze for personal & health reasons.

Just feel, everything about Christmas / New Year time is just catered to getting shitfaced. Quite disappointed in my small circle, as a few times they’ve told me just to have “one beer”.

I don’t know if it’s me, but I feel conflicted in the sense I don’t want to touch the booze. But also don’t want to be the party pooper?

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By *rincess peachWoman
over a year ago

shits creek

If they're making you feel like a party pooper for taking care of yourself it might be time to find new friends.

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By *reyToTheFairiesWoman
over a year ago

Carlisle usually

Don't have the one.

If it was enough of an issue for you to want to be completely clear of it you stick to it.

Get some non alcoholic beer and just have fun with your friends sober.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

There are some really tasty non alcoholic beers out now compared to even a few years ago. If you wanted to have a beer with your friends but not have alcohol.

If your happy with your decision then don't worry about being a party pooper I'm sure your friends don't care if you drink or not they are probably just trying to be polite

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I dont see how people poop on parties by not drinking, agreed your friends sound a bit crap. You hold your ground. X

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

Friends support each other's decisions of they're sensible and rational. I honestly thought this culture of calling people who don't want to drink party poopers had gone.

I dislike dancing, I have rhythm, I feel awkward. I was going out and someone began insisting that if I was joining them I *would* be dancing...I didn't go. Social occasions should be relaxed and fun.

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By *ldbutrandyMan
over a year ago

West Midlands

"If they're making you feel like a party pooper for taking care of yourself it might be time to find new friends."

I totally agree. If they're aware that it's a serious issue for you, then instead of pushing you towards ' one little drink ' . Real friends would steer you away.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

The real party poopers are the ones who can't imagine having fun without alcohol

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"Friends support each other's decisions of they're sensible and rational. I honestly thought this culture of calling people who don't want to drink party poopers had gone.

I have no rhythm that should say

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By *iscean_dreamMan
over a year ago

Llanelli

Yeah don't touch a drop or feel that you should because of what other people have said

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By *ou only live onceMan
over a year ago

London

Don't be conflicted. If you don't want to drink, that's your choice. Don't feel pressured.

I'm sure your friends still want your company more than anything.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have a close friend who is teetotal. He told me his story one day, and he tells me about situations like you’ve described - he’s come so far since he gave up and I have endless admiration for people like you, OP, who can give up drink. He’ll be round mine for food at the weekend, and the Bavaria is in the fridge, ready for him

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

There's always the antibiotics or cocodamol excuse for people who are really insistent. Fill a plastic bag with cold vegetable soup (it looks realistic enough in the dark), if they still insist, fill your mouth with it and accidentally 'throw up' on their shoes. They won't insist you drink again

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By *ou only live onceMan
over a year ago

London

"There's always the antibiotics or cocodamol excuse for people who are really insistent. Fill a plastic bag with cold vegetable soup (it looks realistic enough in the dark), if they still insist, fill your mouth with it and accidentally 'throw up' on their shoes. They won't insist you drink again

An extreme measure, but I like your thinking!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Firstly, Well done OP, congratulations.

You are not a party pooper for not drinking, you are not a party proper for looking after your health, both mental and physical.

Saying you're on medication is always a great excuse, if they pry, simply say it's personal and you'd rather not go into it.

But, the bonus is that by offering to be designated driver means you should never have to pay for soft drinks and your friends should be grateful to have you. If they're not, find new, more mature friends.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

An extreme measure, but I like your thinking!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"If they're making you feel like a party pooper for taking care of yourself it might be time to find new friends."

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By *ornycougaWoman
over a year ago

Wherever I lay my hat

Good on you for making that change in your life. Stay true to yourself and don't either cave in to so called friends putting pressure on you to have a drink, or feel obliged to lie for the fact that you are sticking to soft or non alcoholic drinks. Your body, your choices.

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

Ask for a virgin tonic with the trimmings at the bar?

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By *gent CoulsonMan
over a year ago

Secret hideaway in the pennines

"I’m coming to one year sobriety in Jan, I quit the booze for personal & health reasons.

Just feel, everything about Christmas / New Year time is just catered to getting shitfaced. Quite disappointed in my small circle, as a few times they’ve told me just to have “one beer”.

I don’t know if it’s me, but I feel conflicted in the sense I don’t want to touch the booze. But also don’t want to be the party pooper? "
nowadays, there are some amazing alcohol free beers and lagers, if you feel you could handle them

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By *ittlemiss1985Woman
over a year ago

Lansing

I think it's stupid that people are given a hard time about not drinking during social events. If people can't have fun because you're not drinking, then that's their problem!

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

"I think it's stupid that people are given a hard time about not drinking during social events. If people can't have fun because you're not drinking, then that's their problem!"

Indeed.

I tend to tell people they can like it or lump it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Same OP, I don't drink and if those around me didn't like it then I wouldn't be socialising with them.

Your body, your choice.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Thanks to each and one of you who replied to this forum, I do appreciate it.

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By *xydadbodMan
over a year ago

Milton keynes

"Thanks to each and one of you who replied to this forum, I do appreciate it.

Firstly, well done to you for making that first step. I bet it wasn't easy step to make but if will benefit your health, thats awesome though.

I do agree with others on here. If your friends are insisting you have one drink, knowing the reason why you decided to stop in the first place, it's definitely time you need to reconsider finding new friends

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"….. everything about Christmas / New Year time is just catered to getting shitfaced. Quite disappointed in my small circle, as a few times they’ve told me just to have “one beer”.

They sound nice….

^sarcasms

Nobody should pressure anyone into just having one of anything.

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By *riar BelisseWoman
over a year ago

Delightful Bliss

That's why non acholic beer/cider work for me, when out not drinking with mates in a pub. There is always the disappointment "oh you're not drinking coment" as if I need that to be fun. I know they mean well

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By *TG3Man
over a year ago

Dorchester

"I’m coming to one year sobriety in Jan, I quit the booze for personal & health reasons.

Just feel, everything about Christmas / New Year time is just catered to getting shitfaced. Quite disappointed in my small circle, as a few times they’ve told me just to have “one beer”.

I don’t know if it’s me, but I feel conflicted in the sense I don’t want to touch the booze. But also don’t want to be the party pooper? "
stay off it get shit faced on life instead

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By *kcirtMan
over a year ago

West Lothian

I was a functioning alcoholic from my late teens to my late 30s when my gran died in the November. I decided to do the dry January challenge to raise money for BHF. Stopped drinking at 11:59 New Year’s Eve and done the whole month, was the hardest thing I have ever done, shakes, withdrawals, not nice. So don’t let anyone take quitting the drink away from you.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Just because your not drinking doesn't mean your a party proper.

I haven't had a drink for around 3 years now. Others drinking does not bother me I just don't feel the need to. I hate it when people try to encourage you to do something that you have made clear that you don't want to do for whatever reason.

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By *uicy 2020Woman
over a year ago

London

I agree with all the other posters, its your choice and i would always respect someones choice. Ive witnessed this in the past and have stood up for the person not drinking, why do we have this idea that you have to drink alcohol to be, or to have, fun? I dont think that you should have to make an excuse though, or drink non-alcohol beer etc. Your friends should respect your decision x

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By *kcirtMan
over a year ago

West Lothian

"I was a functioning alcoholic from my late teens to my late 30s when my gran died in the November. I decided to do the dry January challenge to raise money for BHF. Stopped drinking at 11:59 New Year’s Eve and done the whole month, was the hardest thing I have ever done, shakes, withdrawals, not nice. So don’t let anyone take quitting the drink away from you. "

And honestly being 8 years pretty much sober I much prefer being that way.

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By *andyfloss2000Woman
over a year ago

ashford

A massive well done in first place for that year! That's amazing to hear! And as others have said stick to your guns! Alcohol is not needed to have fun! X

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I hate the pressure to drink... There are tonnes of non-alcoholic beers, cocktails etc... Just make sure you are getting them from the bar unless you really trust your friends not to 'accidentally' slip a shot in

Of course you could always arrange to drive?? Maybe have a fake reason for going somewhere the next day mega early?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ps, i pretty much drink pints of line +soda regardless of whether I'm driving or not

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By *andyfloss2000Woman
over a year ago

ashford

My partner was same having worked then run pubs pretty much since leaving school! In end it gave him that alcohol epilepsy! Was totally dependant on alcohol! It took him in the end 12 years ago when our children were 18 14 and 11! Allways pleased to hear when people have beat this demon Be very proud of yourself for that! X

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By *ealitybitesMan
over a year ago

Belfast

I've been teetotal all my life and never tasted alcohol.

When I was a teenager a "friend" told me I wasn't a real man unless I took a drink.

I felt more of a man for not giving in to peer pressure.

I've been told by complete strangers on holiday and at a training course that I was a fake Irishman for refusing to drink.

In regards to work colleagues though the opposite has always been the case.

I've never been allowed to contribute to the kitty or buy a round because they felt it wasn't fair on me.

I've never needed alcohol so I can't say I understand why some people do but I don't see the attraction in getting pissed and definitely don't understand the need to put pressure on others to do so.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I’m glad you’re here today, sharing wisdom and knowledge my friend. Sorry for your loss as well, I went through a pretty nasty situation myself. And I dealt with shakes, withdrawals & I’d lie now and tell myself they are times I’m like “ fuck it “. But I see how far I’ve come, both Mentally & Physically and most importantly as a person, as a Father. I’d never take that trip back down that lane, I do truly have some great friends. Just some others piss me off, but thank-you for your comment ( and everyone else’s too, it’s appreciated more than you can know )

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