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How to seduce my neighbours cat

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By *rHotNotts OP   Man
over a year ago

Dubai & Nottingham

So we’ve had this on off relationship for about 18 months now.

He will come to see me when I’m working at home and I give him bits of Parma ham and sometimes bits of raw salmon. When I sit outside for a cigarette I talk to him and he listens and nods. I tell him all my secrets , but nothing seems to shock him.

He never comes close enough to touch or stroke even though we’ve been friends for 18 months and I’m a cat lover. If I stand up he’ll retreat and he won’t take food from my hand , but if I leave the patio doors open he’ll come in and find me and ask for food.

I guess it’s partly because every so often I disappear for a few weeks and it’s really hard to keep in touch when I’m away.

I don’t know what to try to take the relationship to the next level ?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Don't feed other people's cats, its not fair!!

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By *rHotNotts OP   Man
over a year ago

Dubai & Nottingham


"Don't feed other people's cats, its not fair!!

"

He’s not another persons cat , they are his humans. He will make his own mind up who feeds him and he’s chosen me

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

View things from his perspective and let the blooms bloom naturally.

OR .....

Food in box. Cat in box. Lid on box. Box in cellar till cat submits.......

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Don't feed other people's cats, its not fair!!

He’s not another persons cat , they are his humans. He will make his own mind up who feeds him and he’s chosen me "

Ya ever thought you know, call me old fashioned, but you ever though of...adopting a fucking cat?!

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross


"Don't feed other people's cats, its not fair!!

He’s not another persons cat , they are his humans. He will make his own mind up who feeds him and he’s chosen me "

That's how my friend stole her cat 15 years ago.... she still feeds him and he sleeps on her furniture and sends her his vet bills but GOD he fucking hates her , she just can't see it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"View things from his perspective and let the blooms bloom naturally.

OR .....

Food in box. Cat in box. Lid on box. Box in cellar till cat submits.......

"

Wouldn't it then be Shrodingers?

And Still Not His!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Feeding someone else’s cat is a straight no no, essentially that cat will take its food from anywhere because it’s a cat, cats are assholes, they thing of food and warmth and they don’t give a fuck who is giving it, because they are assholes…. Let that sink in….if you had a child that you were responsible for feeding and some neighbour down the street was plying your child with food, shit would go down, someone would be on a list somewhere, people would keep an eye on said neighbour, that cat could be someone’s only companion and you are facilitating an absence, not cool, get your own

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By *rHotNotts OP   Man
over a year ago

Dubai & Nottingham


"Feeding someone else’s cat is a straight no no, essentially that cat will take its food from anywhere because it’s a cat, cats are assholes, they thing of food and warmth and they don’t give a fuck who is giving it, because they are assholes…. Let that sink in….if you had a child that you were responsible for feeding and some neighbour down the street was plying your child with food, shit would go down, someone would be on a list somewhere, people would keep an eye on said neighbour, that cat could be someone’s only companion and you are facilitating an absence, not cool, get your own "

They ate not assholes, they are quite authentic actually, they know what they need and they don’t play games. Better than many humans

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By *rHotNotts OP   Man
over a year ago

Dubai & Nottingham


"Feeding someone else’s cat is a straight no no, essentially that cat will take its food from anywhere because it’s a cat, cats are assholes, they thing of food and warmth and they don’t give a fuck who is giving it, because they are assholes…. Let that sink in….if you had a child that you were responsible for feeding and some neighbour down the street was plying your child with food, shit would go down, someone would be on a list somewhere, people would keep an eye on said neighbour, that cat could be someone’s only companion and you are facilitating an absence, not cool, get your own "

Nahhh …. Yea lol stick with my cat thanks

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross


"Feeding someone else’s cat is a straight no no, essentially that cat will take its food from anywhere because it’s a cat, cats are assholes, they thing of food and warmth and they don’t give a fuck who is giving it, because they are assholes…. Let that sink in….if you had a child that you were responsible for feeding and some neighbour down the street was plying your child with food, shit would go down, someone would be on a list somewhere, people would keep an eye on said neighbour, that cat could be someone’s only companion and you are facilitating an absence, not cool, get your own "

Fine. I won't feed anyone's cat and they can keep their cat shit in their own garden too ..... seems fair.

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By *otmyrealname99Man
over a year ago

Manchester


"Feeding someone else’s cat is a straight no no, essentially that cat will take its food from anywhere because it’s a cat, cats are assholes, they thing of food and warmth and they don’t give a fuck who is giving it, because they are assholes…. Let that sink in….if you had a child that you were responsible for feeding and some neighbour down the street was plying your child with food, shit would go down, someone would be on a list somewhere, people would keep an eye on said neighbour, that cat could be someone’s only companion and you are facilitating an absence, not cool, get your own

Fine. I won't feed anyone's cat and they can keep their cat shit in their own garden too ..... seems fair."

I feel inspired to stay feeding cats now. What's the best food to give them?

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross


"View things from his perspective and let the blooms bloom naturally.

OR .....

Food in box. Cat in box. Lid on box. Box in cellar till cat submits.......

Wouldn't it then be Shrodingers?

And Still Not His!!"

Nope. He is feeding the cat , ergo ...... we know the cat is there. Besides its a transparent box with air holes.

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross


"Feeding someone else’s cat is a straight no no, essentially that cat will take its food from anywhere because it’s a cat, cats are assholes, they thing of food and warmth and they don’t give a fuck who is giving it, because they are assholes…. Let that sink in….if you had a child that you were responsible for feeding and some neighbour down the street was plying your child with food, shit would go down, someone would be on a list somewhere, people would keep an eye on said neighbour, that cat could be someone’s only companion and you are facilitating an absence, not cool, get your own

Fine. I won't feed anyone's cat and they can keep their cat shit in their own garden too ..... seems fair.

I feel inspired to stay feeding cats now. What's the best food to give them?

"

Sea bass.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"View things from his perspective and let the blooms bloom naturally.

OR .....

Food in box. Cat in box. Lid on box. Box in cellar till cat submits.......

Wouldn't it then be Shrodingers?

And Still Not His!!

Nope. He is feeding the cat , ergo ...... we know the cat is there. Besides its a transparent box with air holes. "

But thats Cat Napping!!

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By *inaTitzTV/TS
over a year ago

Titz Towers, North Notts

Ask what it's watching on Netflix and see if you can catch up with the latest episode

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By *innie The MinxWoman
over a year ago

Under the Duvet

Play hard to get

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross


"View things from his perspective and let the blooms bloom naturally.

OR .....

Food in box. Cat in box. Lid on box. Box in cellar till cat submits.......

Wouldn't it then be Shrodingers?

And Still Not His!!

Nope. He is feeding the cat , ergo ...... we know the cat is there. Besides its a transparent box with air holes.

But thats Cat Napping!! "

Well he's doing it by stealth in any case ...... sometimes it's best to make a single effort..... I mean , everyone loves a decisive snatch.

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By *TG3Man
over a year ago

Dorchester


"So we’ve had this on off relationship for about 18 months now.

He will come to see me when I’m working at home and I give him bits of Parma ham and sometimes bits of raw salmon. When I sit outside for a cigarette I talk to him and he listens and nods. I tell him all my secrets , but nothing seems to shock him.

He never comes close enough to touch or stroke even though we’ve been friends for 18 months and I’m a cat lover. If I stand up he’ll retreat and he won’t take food from my hand , but if I leave the patio doors open he’ll come in and find me and ask for food.

I guess it’s partly because every so often I disappear for a few weeks and it’s really hard to keep in touch when I’m away.

I don’t know what to try to take the relationship to the next level ?

"
just leave the door open even when you're away he'll have somewhere to go irrespective

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Cats are evil strike first strike hard no mercy

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By *rHotNotts OP   Man
over a year ago

Dubai & Nottingham


"So we’ve had this on off relationship for about 18 months now.

He will come to see me when I’m working at home and I give him bits of Parma ham and sometimes bits of raw salmon. When I sit outside for a cigarette I talk to him and he listens and nods. I tell him all my secrets , but nothing seems to shock him.

He never comes close enough to touch or stroke even though we’ve been friends for 18 months and I’m a cat lover. If I stand up he’ll retreat and he won’t take food from my hand , but if I leave the patio doors open he’ll come in and find me and ask for food.

I guess it’s partly because every so often I disappear for a few weeks and it’s really hard to keep in touch when I’m away.

I don’t know what to try to take the relationship to the next level ?

just leave the door open even when you're away he'll have somewhere to go irrespective "

Thought about this. I have thought about fitting a cat flap too, maybe pay someone to knock him out , open up his back and fit a microchip so other animals don’t get in when I’m away. I’d do it myself but he might remember my face and that could cause trauma & ruin what little trust we have.

I have thought this plan through long and hard but it’s complex and risky. Fitting a cat flap to a patio door requires cutting and resealing dual glazing panel. I don’t think my Drenel 3000 is quite up to it. Plus a DIY fabrication might might invalidate the manufacturers warranty on the panel. It’s a tough one

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By *nightsoftheCoffeeTableCouple
over a year ago

Leeds

Easy! Cat nip and dead birds. Close thread.

The mr

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You must have too much time on your hands.

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By *TG3Man
over a year ago

Dorchester


"So we’ve had this on off relationship for about 18 months now.

He will come to see me when I’m working at home and I give him bits of Parma ham and sometimes bits of raw salmon. When I sit outside for a cigarette I talk to him and he listens and nods. I tell him all my secrets , but nothing seems to shock him.

He never comes close enough to touch or stroke even though we’ve been friends for 18 months and I’m a cat lover. If I stand up he’ll retreat and he won’t take food from my hand , but if I leave the patio doors open he’ll come in and find me and ask for food.

I guess it’s partly because every so often I disappear for a few weeks and it’s really hard to keep in touch when I’m away.

I don’t know what to try to take the relationship to the next level ?

just leave the door open even when you're away he'll have somewhere to go irrespective

Thought about this. I have thought about fitting a cat flap too, maybe pay someone to knock him out , open up his back and fit a microchip so other animals don’t get in when I’m away. I’d do it myself but he might remember my face and that could cause trauma & ruin what little trust we have.

I have thought this plan through long and hard but it’s complex and risky. Fitting a cat flap to a patio door requires cutting and resealing dual glazing panel. I don’t think my Drenel 3000 is quite up to it. Plus a DIY fabrication might might invalidate the manufacturers warranty on the panel. It’s a tough one "
cat flap great idea with tit bits strewn around the house

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By *eliWoman
over a year ago

.

Find another cat. Befriend that one and then he'll think gosh, that man is a cat whisperer, I should let him stroke me.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Have you tried the psspsspssp technique. Then when his guard is down, clothes peg between the shoulder blades (I hear this temporarily resets the cat) you’ll have just enough time to bundle him in the house and lock the door.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Have you tried the psspsspssp technique. Then when his guard is down, clothes peg between the shoulder blades (I hear this temporarily resets the cat) you’ll have just enough time to bundle him in the house and lock the door. "

Let me tell you this fine lady here knows nothing about cats

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By *ools and the brainCouple
over a year ago

couple, us we him her.

Dress up as a female cat.

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By *TG3Man
over a year ago

Dorchester


"So we’ve had this on off relationship for about 18 months now.

He will come to see me when I’m working at home and I give him bits of Parma ham and sometimes bits of raw salmon. When I sit outside for a cigarette I talk to him and he listens and nods. I tell him all my secrets , but nothing seems to shock him.

He never comes close enough to touch or stroke even though we’ve been friends for 18 months and I’m a cat lover. If I stand up he’ll retreat and he won’t take food from my hand , but if I leave the patio doors open he’ll come in and find me and ask for food.

I guess it’s partly because every so often I disappear for a few weeks and it’s really hard to keep in touch when I’m away.

I don’t know what to try to take the relationship to the next level ?

just leave the door open even when you're away he'll have somewhere to go irrespective

Thought about this. I have thought about fitting a cat flap too, maybe pay someone to knock him out , open up his back and fit a microchip so other animals don’t get in when I’m away. I’d do it myself but he might remember my face and that could cause trauma & ruin what little trust we have.

I have thought this plan through long and hard but it’s complex and risky. Fitting a cat flap to a patio door requires cutting and resealing dual glazing panel. I don’t think my Drenel 3000 is quite up to it. Plus a DIY fabrication might might invalidate the manufacturers warranty on the panel. It’s a tough one "
warranty.... Panel...... The love of a cat a cat that's been abused, a cat that's hungry, a cat that doesn't crave affection but needs it, your cat...... Well your neighbours cat cmon

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By *ickshawedCouple
over a year ago

Wolverhampton

My goodness, the lengths people go to for a bit of pussy

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Have you tried the psspsspssp technique. Then when his guard is down, clothes peg between the shoulder blades (I hear this temporarily resets the cat) you’ll have just enough time to bundle him in the house and lock the door.

Let me tell you this fine lady here knows nothing about cats "

I know how to make them go away though.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Have you tried the psspsspssp technique. Then when his guard is down, clothes peg between the shoulder blades (I hear this temporarily resets the cat) you’ll have just enough time to bundle him in the house and lock the door.

Let me tell you this fine lady here knows nothing about cats

I know how to make them go away though. "

Which is why your advice was 10/10 for that and very much a 0/10 for attracting said puss

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"So we’ve had this on off relationship for about 18 months now.

He will come to see me when I’m working at home and I give him bits of Parma ham and sometimes bits of raw salmon. When I sit outside for a cigarette I talk to him and he listens and nods. I tell him all my secrets , but nothing seems to shock him.

He never comes close enough to touch or stroke even though we’ve been friends for 18 months and I’m a cat lover. If I stand up he’ll retreat and he won’t take food from my hand , but if I leave the patio doors open he’ll come in and find me and ask for food.

I guess it’s partly because every so often I disappear for a few weeks and it’s really hard to keep in touch when I’m away.

I don’t know what to try to take the relationship to the next level ?

just leave the door open even when you're away he'll have somewhere to go irrespective "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Mark my words that cat will have moved in to your home within the next 6 months. You will not have a choice about this it will just happen.

Our cat was originally our next door neighbours, It started in a very similar way you have described. She has now moved over a 100 miles away to live with us when I moved to London.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Have you tried the psspsspssp technique. Then when his guard is down, clothes peg between the shoulder blades (I hear this temporarily resets the cat) you’ll have just enough time to bundle him in the house and lock the door.

Let me tell you this fine lady here knows nothing about cats

I know how to make them go away though.

Which is why your advice was 10/10 for that and very much a 0/10 for attracting said puss "

Dammit!, I was right about the clothes peg thing though I seen it on the telly

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By *TG3Man
over a year ago

Dorchester


"So we’ve had this on off relationship for about 18 months now.

He will come to see me when I’m working at home and I give him bits of Parma ham and sometimes bits of raw salmon. When I sit outside for a cigarette I talk to him and he listens and nods. I tell him all my secrets , but nothing seems to shock him.

He never comes close enough to touch or stroke even though we’ve been friends for 18 months and I’m a cat lover. If I stand up he’ll retreat and he won’t take food from my hand , but if I leave the patio doors open he’ll come in and find me and ask for food.

I guess it’s partly because every so often I disappear for a few weeks and it’s really hard to keep in touch when I’m away.

I don’t know what to try to take the relationship to the next level ?

just leave the door open even when you're away he'll have somewhere to go irrespective

"
Oh and I forgot to mention the cat burglar too

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