FabSwingers.com forum: Single Male prejudice

By *ntilogically OP Man
over a year ago

Somewhere between Newport and Cardiff

I recently opened a topic about a technical issue (online status indicators), but I made the apparently heinous admission that I favoured messaging members when they're online. I quickly found myself under attack for creepy behaviour, and even being accused of stalking.

Almost every list on this site (friends, hotlist, browsing) is arranged according to how recently members were online, and I don't think it's unreasonable to want to engage with someone sooner rather than later, but it seems the fab morality police have other ideas.

I get that there are a lot of disrespectful single males on here. I get that because I read profiles, and I talk to women about their experiences on here. I'm disgusted by the way some guys talk to women in person, let alone online and anonymous, and I challenge anyone to find evidence that I've been anything other than respectful to women in ANY situation.

I'm honestly not surprised though. I rarely bother with the forum because no matter how carefully I word something, there is always someone ready to pounce on a simple observation and assume I'm one of those 'typical single males' with an over inflated ego and sense of entitlement, despite there being no evidence to support this notion.

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By *ou only live onceMan
over a year ago

London

Cool story, bro. Now, get over your ego.

(Sorry, couldn't resist!)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I read your other thread and I can see why some people found it strange to be fair.

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By *nabelle21Woman
over a year ago

B38

Hello my lovely. I didn't see your previous post but I'm sorry that it left you feeling that way.

I don't think it's unreasonable to look for those that are or have been on line recently.

And my lovely...fuck the haters x

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By *ora the explorerWoman
over a year ago

Paradise, Herts

"I read your other thread and I can see why some people found it strange to be fair. "

Me neither. Most of the messages come through when I’m online which is why my profile is hidden as I don’t want any. Perfectly normal question though.

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By *nabelle21Woman
over a year ago

B38

Just do you!

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By *ora the explorerWoman
over a year ago

Paradise, Herts

"I read your other thread and I can see why some people found it strange to be fair. "

Read this wrong! Thought it said I can’t see why

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I read your other thread and I can see why some people found it strange to be fair.

Read this wrong! Thought it said I can’t see why

I thought you might have. the question was normal. It was the having 2 tabs open at the same time to refresh the persons page that threw me off a bit.

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By *penbicoupleCouple
over a year ago

Northampton

"I recently opened a topic about a technical issue (online status indicators), but I made the apparently heinous admission that I favoured messaging members when they're online. I quickly found myself under attack for creepy behaviour, and even being accused of stalking."

'Under attack' may be a tad dramatic!

"I get that there are a lot of disrespectful single males on here... I challenge anyone to find evidence that I've been anything other than respectful to women in ANY situation."

I'm now nervous to provide the evidence you request for fear you will think you're being attacked or pounced upon. However, the evidence is... the other thread! The behaviour you described is manipulative.

And what you describe as the morality police was women going, "ewww!" Why would you not want to learn from that?

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By *ora the explorerWoman
over a year ago

Paradise, Herts

"I read your other thread and I can see why some people found it strange to be fair.

Read this wrong! Thought it said I can’t see why

I thought you might have. the question was normal. It was the having 2 tabs open at the same time to refresh the persons page that threw me off a bit. "

I shouldn’t come on here when I’ve had wine

. 2 tabs open is too technical for me haha.

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By *penbicoupleCouple
over a year ago

Northampton

"It was the having 2 tabs open at the same time to refresh the persons page that threw me off a bit. "

Riiiiiight?!

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By *nabelle21Woman
over a year ago

B38

"I read your other thread and I can see why some people found it strange to be fair.

Read this wrong! Thought it said I can’t see why

I thought you might have. the question was normal. It was the having 2 tabs open at the same time to refresh the persons page that threw me off a bit.

I shouldn’t come on here when I’ve had wine

. 2 tabs open is too technical for me haha. "

Cheers Nora...I've had a few myself!

3 tabs open is Abit much ...maybe I should have done my home work before posting.

But hey ho

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By *nabelle21Woman
over a year ago

B38

2 tabs!!

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By *reyToTheFairiesWoman
over a year ago

Carlisle usually

That's less about single male prejudice and more about being too defensive over something that people expressed discomfort over.

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By *ora the explorerWoman
over a year ago

Paradise, Herts

"2 tabs!!"

Haha. Bedtime I think

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"2 tabs!!"

Damn wine

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By *nabelle21Woman
over a year ago

B38

"2 tabs!!

Haha. Bedtime I think

Only if that's an offer

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By *ora the explorerWoman
over a year ago

Paradise, Herts

"2 tabs!!

Haha. Bedtime I think

Only if that's an offer

Always annabelle!

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By *nabelle21Woman
over a year ago

B38

"2 tabs!!

Damn wine

Ah it's the vodka

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By *nabelle21Woman
over a year ago

B38

"2 tabs!!

Haha. Bedtime I think

Only if that's an offer

Always annabelle!

Bless you sweetheart...name the time and place

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"It was the having 2 tabs open at the same time to refresh the persons page that threw me off a bit.

Riiiiiight?!"

I mean if I knew someone had 2 tabs open and was refreshing our page to make sure we were online, it’d make me a bit uncomfortable. The question in its self was ok.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I get why people want to talk while folk are online, but showing as online is my absolute least favourite thing about Fab for that reason. It's a nuisance. Friends messaging when you log in is different, but a sudden influx from randoms, especially if your profile is not even public, gets annoying. Even more so when they get pissed you haven't replied yet, but see when you're active. If it just said 'active within last 24hours' I'd be way happier.

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By *nabelle21Woman
over a year ago

B38

"It was the having 2 tabs open at the same time to refresh the persons page that threw me off a bit.

Riiiiiight?!

I mean if I knew someone had 2 tabs open and was refreshing our page to make sure we were online, it’d make me a bit uncomfortable. The question in its self was ok. "

Me too...I mean I know I'm good but I ain't that good

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I get why people want to talk while folk are online, but showing as online is my absolute least favourite thing about Fab for that reason. It's a nuisance. Friends messaging when you log in is different, but a sudden influx from randoms, especially if your profile is not even public, gets annoying. Even more so when they get pissed you haven't replied yet, but see when you're active. If it just said 'active within last 24hours' I'd be way happier. "

Agreed. Plus it seems to fuel all those ‘shame’ follow up messages. Or worse

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sometimes I just want to come on for a nose around the forums when I can’t be bothered to reply to messages. I wish we had an appear offline button.

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By *eff4000Man
over a year ago

Camberley

"Single Male Prejudice"

Jesus Christ

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By *nabelle21Woman
over a year ago

B38

Sometimes I just want to come on for a nose around the forums when I can’t be bothered to reply to messages. I wish we had an appear offline button. "

I'd love an off line button...would save me from appearing ignorant. When in reality I just don't have the head space for other people

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By *ou only live onceMan
over a year ago

London

"It was the having 2 tabs open at the same time to refresh the persons page that threw me off a bit.

Riiiiiight?!

I mean if I knew someone had 2 tabs open and was refreshing our page to make sure we were online, it’d make me a bit uncomfortable. The question in its self was ok. "

Wait, so I can't have Fab open on my phone, iPad and laptop and ask Siri to tell me when you log on just to catch you? This is news.

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By *nabelle21Woman
over a year ago

B38

"It was the having 2 tabs open at the same time to refresh the persons page that threw me off a bit.

Riiiiiight?!

I mean if I knew someone had 2 tabs open and was refreshing our page to make sure we were online, it’d make me a bit uncomfortable. The question in its self was ok.

Wait, so I can't have Fab open on my phone, iPad and laptop and ask Siri to tell me when you log on just to catch you? This is news."

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Typical single male here. Do whatever the fuck you wanna do and if you get blocked or shat on simply for being polite or friendly and fun, move on and realise that that's a person you're probably not gonna want to tango with anyway. Don't vent or get aggressive about it or pester.

Peace and love brother, long live yourself and the erection x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sometimes I just want to come on for a nose around the forums when I can’t be bothered to reply to messages. I wish we had an appear offline button.

I'd love an off line button...would save me from appearing ignorant. When in reality I just don't have the head space for other people "

I am positive that years ago that was an option but it changed. Does anyone else remember that being the case? I'm talking maybe 12 years back but I'm sure I remember it that way!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"It was the having 2 tabs open at the same time to refresh the persons page that threw me off a bit.

Riiiiiight?!

I mean if I knew someone had 2 tabs open and was refreshing our page to make sure we were online, it’d make me a bit uncomfortable. The question in its self was ok.

Wait, so I can't have Fab open on my phone, iPad and laptop and ask Siri to tell me when you log on just to catch you? This is news."

I mean since it’s you I can make an exception

but only so you can catch me when I’m online on Thursdays

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By *ou only live onceMan
over a year ago

London

"It was the having 2 tabs open at the same time to refresh the persons page that threw me off a bit.

Riiiiiight?!

I mean if I knew someone had 2 tabs open and was refreshing our page to make sure we were online, it’d make me a bit uncomfortable. The question in its self was ok.

Wait, so I can't have Fab open on my phone, iPad and laptop and ask Siri to tell me when you log on just to catch you? This is news.

I mean since it’s you I can make an exception

but only so you can catch me when I’m online on Thursdays

I've set my alarm.

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By *nabelle21Woman
over a year ago

B38

"It was the having 2 tabs open at the same time to refresh the persons page that threw me off a bit.

Riiiiiight?!

I mean if I knew someone had 2 tabs open and was refreshing our page to make sure we were online, it’d make me a bit uncomfortable. The question in its self was ok.

Wait, so I can't have Fab open on my phone, iPad and laptop and ask Siri to tell me when you log on just to catch you? This is news.

I mean since it’s you I can make an exception

but only so you can catch me when I’m online on Thursdays

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By *nabelle21Woman
over a year ago

B38

Sometimes I just want to come on for a nose around the forums when I can’t be bothered to reply to messages. I wish we had an appear offline button.

I'd love an off line button...would save me from appearing ignorant. When in reality I just don't have the head space for other people

I am positive that years ago that was an option but it changed. Does anyone else remember that being the case? I'm talking maybe 12 years back but I'm sure I remember it that way! "

Be great if they brought it back. I wonder why they changed it!

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By *penbicoupleCouple
over a year ago

Northampton

"I am positive that years ago that was an option but it changed. Does anyone else remember that being the case? I'm talking maybe 12 years back but I'm sure I remember it that way! "

I first joined about ten years ago. I vaguely remember that, to the extent that I thought for a long time that I still had that setting on.

I could be imagining it though.

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By *JB1954Man
over a year ago

Reading

"I am positive that years ago that was an option but it changed. Does anyone else remember that being the case? I'm talking maybe 12 years back but I'm sure I remember it that way!

I first joined about ten years ago. I vaguely remember that, to the extent that I thought for a long time that I still had that setting on.

I could be imagining it though. "

A lot of sites give options to show if online / offline or last online . Some only show when actually online , but there is a time lag showing if logged out or app not open.

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