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does anyone else have imaginary machine guns in their car when driving ?

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By *iltsTSgirl OP   TV/TS
over a year ago

chichester

anyone else have imaginary machine guns/missiles when you are driving in traffic and get fucking idiots on the road , you just imagine blasting the steering wheel stereo button as some huge chain gun blowing these tards off the road ..

Or is it just me

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By *aptain Caveman41Man
over a year ago

Home

No I just like to shout and wave my hands giving out about stupid drivers

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yes! But it's sheep I do a drive by on.... Sneaky little buggers.

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By *eepingItKinkyCouple
over a year ago

reading

Mines run out of ammunition damn it!

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By *ock69erMan
over a year ago

Middle o’ Fife

Exactly that…. I thought it was just me

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By *ictoria_1976TV/TS
over a year ago

Bodmin

I have heat seeking rocket launchers in mine!

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By *ock69erMan
over a year ago

Middle o’ Fife

Upgraded from standard fit machine guns eh? …. Good move, I imagine they would be very useful ??

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I pinched the GAU 7 Avenger from an A10

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By *rtyIanMan
over a year ago

Gateway to the Beacons


"anyone else have imaginary machine guns/missiles when you are driving in traffic and get fucking idiots on the road , you just imagine blasting the steering wheel stereo button as some huge chain gun blowing these tards off the road ..

Or is it just me "

Pintel mounted 30mm canon

Luckily I can load and fire

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By *ools and the brainCouple
over a year ago

couple, us we him her.

I have an imaginary pie cannon firing imaginary custard pies.

No-one gets hurt but some end up with egg on their face

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By *orny PTMan
over a year ago

Peterborough

I have a missile launcher, the button is in the gear lever's hand grip.

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By *olden PoleMan
over a year ago

Kent

Wow…I genuinely thought it was just me.

My weapon on choice is the Sea Witch or Goal Keeper as it’s also known, anti aircraft defence Gatling canon.

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By *ex HolesMan
over a year ago

Up North

Is it strange that I have real ones?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

i like the oil slick feature and smoke grenades...

and when shit gets too hot..

ejector seat

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By *andyfloss2000Woman
over a year ago

ashford

Don't drive but often think of filling my bycicle basket at front with rocks to aim at cars x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I do have an imaginary pistol that is occasionally employed to take out specially selected tyres and occasionally drivers…

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Well being American

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By *orny PTMan
over a year ago

Peterborough


"Well being American "

We have differing ideas about taking a shot or two.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No but I do get road rage and once shouted the c word at an old woman before I realised it was an old woman. Feel guilty about that to this day

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By *ig1gaz1Man
over a year ago

bradford


"anyone else have imaginary machine guns/missiles when you are driving in traffic and get fucking idiots on the road , you just imagine blasting the steering wheel stereo button as some huge chain gun blowing these tards off the road ..

Or is it just me "

no they can get on with being selfish with there get out of my way.

ive only ever had 2 true idiots.

1, Because he didnt like me joining into traffic and being up to speed decided he wanted to ram me off the rd from the drivers side.

He turned the car sideways pushing me down the road.

2nd one was just a plain arrogant bully jumping traffic wouldnt join the flowing traffic when they was room behind me.

He didnt realise I drive wagons so his bullying antics didnt work well while im in a heavy car.

He still wouldnt give up and join behind me even when he was facing oncoming traffic traveling at 50mph

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Well being American "

Exactly, nothing imaginary about it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"No but I do get road rage and once shouted the c word at an old woman before I realised it was an old woman. Feel guilty about that to this day "

My Mum says Fuck You!

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By *adMerWoman
over a year ago

Sandwich

I used to, but now I have the luxury of realising that what pisses those idiots off the most is that their method of trying to annoy me has failed.

I am really enjoying being an old lady driver.

Mostly keeping to the speed limit, especially in 30’s and 20’s (they are there for a reason right?!) . Ignoring the old twats that absolutely shouldn’t be even on the road by backing right off and enjoying some tunes. Strange how they suddenly start driving less slowly and erratically?!

I am convinced that half the twattish drivers are doing it deliberately to piss you off and the other half exist in a totally different universe. Since I came to this conclusion and acted accordingly my driving experiences have become so much more pleasant. I may be wrong in my conclusion but either way my driving experience is the best it’s been since the 80’s and early 90’s.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have idly daydreamed about having one of those scrolling led signs on my rear windscreen so that when someone irritates me I can tell them what I think of them… probably best not.

I don’t know about anyone else but it seems like post-pandemic there is an awful lot of road rage…

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My car just has Star wars type lasers.

And hyper speed when it snows.

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By *orny PTMan
over a year ago

Peterborough


"No but I do get road rage and once shouted the c word at an old woman before I realised it was an old woman. Feel guilty about that to this day "

Was it Catherine Tate as Sweary Gran?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Considered a set of blue lights on the grill for years just to cause a few heart attacks but i've put the idea off because 1 it's highly illegal and 2 I think i'd have too much fun with them. Might just have to get a little glow sign in the back window that says "cunt". Thatl do it.

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By *iltsTSgirl OP   TV/TS
over a year ago

chichester

Oh wow lots replying here and messaging me

Glad to see it’s not just me then

Tomorrow I have to drive into London so I am going to attach the holy handgrenade launcher for this trip

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By *inchyorksMan
over a year ago

huddersfield

Yes and I even say bang when I pull the trigger!

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By *iltsTSgirl OP   TV/TS
over a year ago

chichester

Ha I make noises and even reloading sounds. If I am really going hard I even put in a computer voice saying stuff like ammo low

I need to get out more I know

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I often stick an empty cardboard coffee cup on the top of my roof and pretend it's a siren. I give running commentary on the cars I'm pursuing as if on a two way radio. If I'm feeling extremely silly I stand at the side of the road with a hairdryer pretending I'm measuring people's speeds

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By *iltsTSgirl OP   TV/TS
over a year ago

chichester


"I often stick an empty cardboard coffee cup on the top of my roof and pretend it's a siren. I give running commentary on the cars I'm pursuing as if on a two way radio. If I'm feeling extremely silly I stand at the side of the road with a hairdryer pretending I'm measuring people's speeds"

Oh that’s good I can advise to play the beastie boys sabotage song while doing that

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I often stick an empty cardboard coffee cup on the top of my roof and pretend it's a siren. I give running commentary on the cars I'm pursuing as if on a two way radio. If I'm feeling extremely silly I stand at the side of the road with a hairdryer pretending I'm measuring people's speeds

Oh that’s good I can advise to play the beastie boys sabotage song while doing that "

On it like a tramp on vomit

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By *eneralKenobiMan
over a year ago

North Angus

No but I will now!!

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By *eard and BoobsCouple
over a year ago

Portstewart

At times yes lols Hubby says I have the worst verbal road rage at times.

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By *rincess peachWoman
over a year ago

shits creek

I'm like cyclops and laser them with my eye.

And I can't even drive.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yes, along with spud gun and boozaka attachment

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

Imaginary you say...

I didn't get that part of the memo

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By *nightsoftheCoffeeTableCouple
over a year ago

Leeds

No. But many moons ago I used to drive around with eggs on the passenger seat as ammo for the bellends, people soon back off your arse when an egg splats on their windscreen.

The mr

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By *akedMMan
over a year ago

Witney

When I drove trucks I wanted to put a pair of paint ball guns under the bumper and link them to the truck compressor.

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By *ne Fish Two FishCouple
over a year ago

London


"anyone else have imaginary machine guns/missiles when you are driving in traffic and get fucking idiots on the road , you just imagine blasting the steering wheel stereo button as some huge chain gun blowing these tards off the road ..

Or is it just me "

Ever since can remember

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By *ornucopiaMan
over a year ago

Bexley

The secret is to treat them all with such contempt that they don't even know about your displeasure.

To this end, the hidden V sign is ideal.

You get the pleasure of making it but they are not even worthy of seeing it.

Honour satisfied, fights avoided.

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By *inky Biscuit DunkerMan
over a year ago

Gloucestershire

I can press my horn & it will make a fart noise outside (sadly only when stationary).

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By *ackformore100Man
over a year ago

Tin town

Juts be cool with the road rage. Some idiots do some seriously bad shit when their ego is dented behind the wheel of a car.

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By *ornucopiaMan
over a year ago

Bexley


"Juts be cool with the road rage. Some idiots do some seriously bad shit when their ego is dented behind the wheel of a car. "

Hence my measured approach to the problem.

I find some improvised songs (for some odd reason the tune of 'There is a tavern in the town' lends itself nicely)help me let off steam.

Another of my favourites, for those who don't start moving when lights change, is to say "Tomorrow would be nice, today would be even better".

Those who baulk at passing others in restricted space get "Come on, you could drive a coach full of whores through there!".

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By *egoMan
over a year ago

Preston

Mines an RPG, pops out the roof.

But i also have light guided rear mounted paintball guns with white paint. To dim the horrendous lights behind me.

I don't even think its high beam, just poorly designed.

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By *angtidy42Couple
over a year ago

Redditch

The old Merc's use to have gun sight on the bonnet

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Used to stand at the side of the road holding a hairdryer and wearing a high Vis near my dads old work place, it was near the edge of town and was known for people 'Forgetting' the 30 limit.

It worked so well the police set up there instead...

Driving around however I just want a crane that I could use to pick people up and just drop them behind me instead

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By *orksguy1965Man
over a year ago

Howden

Wish I had James Bonds car

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By *llfunandgames7810Man
over a year ago

Plymouth

Yes my workvan . Is also an F14 wan yes I do say talk to me goose

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By *ellhungvweMan
over a year ago

Cheltenham


"

1, Because he didnt like me joining into traffic and being up to speed decided he wanted to ram me off the rd from the drivers side.

He turned the car sideways pushing me down the road.

"

The fact he was “up to speed” would indicate that a variant of this story might be that you pulled/forced into reasonably fast moving traffic and got sideswiped before he could stop?

I am guessing that is what he said in defence and curious to know how you would explain that to your insurance

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By *ornucopiaMan
over a year ago

Bexley

Just come in from an after twilight drive and spent most of my time shouting "Fucking Lights!".

Either they were German cars with searchlights defending the Ruhr from Lancaster bombers or they had none at all. More of the latter than is just odd chance.

One would imagine that modern cars would have some way of telling the driver but the good old fashioned system, "if you cant see your instruments in the dark your lights ain't on" no longer holds. The ruddy dash is lit all day now in order to see it at all. Progress, eh?

For night use, instead of a machine gun, I would like one of those steerable spotlights on the door frame that country doctors and taxicabs used to have in the 1950s and 60s. Ironically any street lighting there was that happened to exist back then was better than today's useless 'twinkle, twinkle, little star' stuff.

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By *7mutleyTV/TS
over a year ago

cambridge

[Removed by poster at 01/12/22 17:39:15]

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By *7mutleyTV/TS
over a year ago

cambridge

I did use to have one of my vehicle not imaginary

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By *orny PTMan
over a year ago

Peterborough


"Considered a set of blue lights on the grill for years just to cause a few heart attacks but i've put the idea off because 1 it's highly illegal and 2 I think i'd have too much fun with them. Might just have to get a little glow sign in the back window that says "cunt". Thatl do it. "

and having a video of blues and twos on your phone accidentally placed on your dash board isn't or is it?

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