FabSwingers.com forum: Closure or right to reply

By *ittle_brat_evie!! OP Woman
over a year ago

evesham

Do you need it or does it depend on the situation?

I do. Especially when you have something taken away from you so suddenly and completely, and aren't given to opportunity to say your piece.

I guess it makes me look a little crazy and intense maybe which isn't a good look lol

It's just so fucking hard to accept sometimes. Especially when you don't know what you did wrong.

Not sure what the point of this is but I'm posting it anyway.

A heartbroken Evie

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By *rtyIanMan
over a year ago

Gateway to the Beacons

"Do you need it or does it depend on the situation?

I do. Especially when you have something taken away from you so suddenly and completely, and aren't given to opportunity to say your piece.

I guess it makes me look a little crazy and intense maybe which isn't a good look lol

It's just so fucking hard to accept sometimes. Especially when you don't know what you did wrong.

Not sure what the point of this is but I'm posting it anyway.

A heartbroken Evie

I get you on this sending cwtches

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

There is nothing worse than not being able to put your point across, whatever the discussion, a person you might have so much to talk to about decides to take that from you by either blocking you or hiding behind their phone , it's their choice of course but it's very unfair on the other person not to have their say .

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Closure is always good but I don't think there is a 'right' to reply. If other people choose to end a relationship suddenly that is their decision, however hurtful.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yes and no. And also it depends.

I do find it hard not to be able to discuss something I'm emotionally invested in.

But then I also get the mindset of cutting something completely if I feel its for the best regardless of the other person's feelings.

Alot is on the context of the situation

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By *ristinapinkWoman
over a year ago

Staines-upon-Thames

I know what you mean. But closure does not mean that the other person has to hear what you need to say. Closure can be accepting things are how they are and move on. Most times there’s nothing you can say, or even if you say it, the other person won’t even be actually listening, because they already made a decision.

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By *ittle_brat_evie!! OP Woman
over a year ago

evesham

"I know what you mean. But closure does not mean that the other person has to hear what you need to say. Closure can be accepting things are how they are and move on. Most times there’s nothing you can say, or even if you say it, the other person won’t even be actually listening, because they already made a decision. "

Yeah I know you're right really. I guess I do just have to accept it. I know my truth in it and I just can't understand it. That's the hardest part.

I'm sure it will be easier in time. I put my all in to it and it will be a weird adjustment.

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By *rHotNottsMan
over a year ago

Dubai & Nottingham

But when you’re done you’re done and it doesn’t matter the slightest what the other person says. If it dies you wouldn’t be done, you’d be talking still.

I think if you can’t stay friends it’s best to just block

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yeah I know you're right really. I guess I do just have to accept it. I know my truth in it and I just can't understand it. That's the hardest part.

I'm sure it will be easier in time. I put my all in to it and it will be a weird adjustment. "

Write them a letter and burn it somewhere safe.

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By *lderflower_AppleWoman
over a year ago

Basingstoke

I hear you, and I feel your pain.

Even when given the right to reply I've found it never lands properly and doesn't get heard by the other party. So as much as it's a bast4rd, it's best to let it go most times.

I do find though that actually writing a letter, setting out my version is very cathartic. Never send though! Just the act of picking up a pen and writing it all down seems to help the feelings flood out.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I need closure.

I recently got it and it wasn't the kind of closure I wanted, but good or bad I need it.

Without yeah I'm the same, I turn into a psycho bitch.

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

I'm sorry, I get it.

For me closure ultimately comes from within. It doesn't matter if the other person hears it or not - and in some cases what they do or don't hear/how they react is unsatisfying.

My tried and true strategy is writing a letter and burning it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

At the risk of sounding like a nutcase, I was seething earlier this year at a situation and knew I'd explode and make a fool of myself if I let it all out to the person who caused it. So I wrote everything down that I would like to have said and had a poor friend sit and listen to me read it all out and go off on general ranty tangents. I was surprised how much better I felt afterwards.

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By *eliWoman
over a year ago

Oh Evie.

I'm sorry.

I hope your heart mends a little soon.

I like closure. I'm one of those people who get a bit miffed if questions go unanswered day to day so yeah, closure means something to me.

But I can also accept it won't change anything. Sometimes it can just drag the process out.

I'm going to echo the letter writing. There's something cathartic about penning your thoughts and then burning them. Almost ritualistic. Sometimes we need to be our own form of closure rather than hoping for others to provide that.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't need it but it's appreciated and respected when it happens!

Take on here for example, being ignored and blocked out of the blue after lots of great back and forth chat is always confusing, but ultimately I figure that while we are capable of getting along and having fun, there's something about them that sooner or later would bother me anyway!

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By *arkandlovelyWoman
over a year ago

South Derbyshire

The best form of closure is accepting that you'll never get closure.

Then you get closure.

It doesn't make sense until it does.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"The best form of closure is accepting that you'll never get closure.

Then you get closure.

It doesn't make sense until it does."

No this is spot on

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I need closure.

I recently got it and it wasn't the kind of closure I wanted, but good or bad I need it.

Without yeah I'm the same, I turn into a psycho bitch. "

All this time I've read you wrong, I thought you were always a psycho bitch

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sending you virtual hugs.

I guess it depends on the situation.

I’d tend to say no.

I prefer moving on without the need of the person responsible for my despair.

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By *ittlemissTinselTitsCouple
over a year ago

Southampton

"Do you need it or does it depend on the situation?

I do. Especially when you have something taken away from you so suddenly and completely, and aren't given to opportunity to say your piece.

I guess it makes me look a little crazy and intense maybe which isn't a good look lol

It's just so fucking hard to accept sometimes. Especially when you don't know what you did wrong.

Not sure what the point of this is but I'm posting it anyway.

A heartbroken Evie

I totally get this... Sending you hugs... I'm still struggling but I am trying to look at it from the point of view that it's their loss! Good luck, you've got this x

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By *ittlemissTinselTitsCouple
over a year ago

Southampton

"At the risk of sounding like a nutcase, I was seething earlier this year at a situation and knew I'd explode and make a fool of myself if I let it all out to the person who caused it. So I wrote everything down that I would like to have said and had a poor friend sit and listen to me read it all out and go off on general ranty tangents. I was surprised how much better I felt afterwards. "

What a brilliant idea... Might give this a go myself

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