FabSwingers.com forum: Rex’s bollocks barber shop

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Ladies job opportunity in the North West if you’re interested

I feel there’s a gap in the market for a bollocks barbershop so I’m therefore going to open one up in the North West.

It will do exactly what it says on the tin and work as a conventional barbershop does. Joe Bloggs can walk in off the street and get his nackers looking silky smooth. He could just get a trim if he’s that way inclined…..

So who would like a job? You’ll obviously be paid the minimum wage and maybe some additional extras

PS you can keep the tips cause I’m a good boss

Love and Peace

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What happens if you make a mistake? Will you get the sack?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"What happens if you make a mistake? Will you get the sack?"

I’ll run an apprenticeship program before I let them loose with some scissors and a razor

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By *hePerkyPumpkinTV/TS
over a year ago

Bristol

"What happens if you make a mistake? Will you get the sack?"

Probably not, but people will get a bit testy if it keeps happening

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If you get crabs its a good thing as they tend to trim the s away my tip of the day

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"What happens if you make a mistake? Will you get the sack?

I’ll run an apprenticeship program before I let them loose with some scissors and a razor

Good plan. I wouldn't let any old scrote near them.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"What happens if you make a mistake? Will you get the sack?

Probably not, but people will get a bit testy if it keeps happening "

Testy, I like it

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"If you get crabs its a good thing as they tend to trim the s away my tip of the day"

I’d offer a delicing service as well…… it’ll just be a pressure washer clean in the back yard

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By *iltsTSgirlTV/TS
over a year ago

Chichester

I am used to handling balls ... I have my own and am pretty good at using a razor/wax plus massage

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"What happens if you make a mistake? Will you get the sack?

I’ll run an apprenticeship program before I let them loose with some scissors and a razor

Good plan. I wouldn't let any old scrote near them."

You’re nuts

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Short front and sides please. And something for the weekend*

(* Blockbuster DVD rental?)

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I am used to handling balls ... I have my own and am pretty good at using a razor/wax plus massage

I have my first employee. You start on Monday

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By *weetiepie99Woman
over a year ago

cardiff

I will get shaky hands, so i'm afraid i'm out as their nackers may get nicked, or nuked

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By *rtyIanMan
over a year ago

Gateway to the Beacons

"I am used to handling balls ... I have my own and am pretty good at using a razor/wax plus massage

I have my first employee. You start on Monday

Liberty Nut smoother and soother

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Short front and sides please. And something for the weekend*

(* Blockbuster DVD rental?)"

Looks over shoulder ‘I’ve got a bit of blue in back as well’

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I will get shaky hands, so i'm afraid i'm out as their nackers may get nicked, or nuked

Fuck sake

I don’t want my plums looking like a day old chick

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sounds lovely am I allowed to pay in kind for services rendered

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Sounds lovely am I allowed to pay in kind for services rendered

Are you offering to pay to shave someone’s nackers???

you’ll be skint in no time

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Sounds lovely am I allowed to pay in kind for services rendered

Are you offering to pay to shave someone’s nackers???

you’ll be skint in no time

God no what I mean if I come in and get shaved can I pay the owner in kind ha ha

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By *irtydevil666Man
over a year ago

bristol

Sounds like a load of bollocks.....

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Sounds lovely am I allowed to pay in kind for services rendered

Are you offering to pay to shave someone’s nackers???

you’ll be skint in no time

God no what I mean if I come in and get shaved can I pay the owner in kind ha ha

I’ll let you shave my bollocks

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Sounds lovely am I allowed to pay in kind for services rendered

Are you offering to pay to shave someone’s nackers???

you’ll be skint in no time

God no what I mean if I come in and get shaved can I pay the owner in kind ha ha

I’ll let you shave my bollocks

Wasn’t the paying in kind I was thinking

I was more thinking me over a table knickers down style paying in kind ha ha

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By *odgerMooreMan
over a year ago

Up Your Frock!

Will whoever i meet be able to see their face in their new shininess? Even though they may look 100 years older with the wrinkles… I want a woman to say oooh todge your balls are so shiny I can see my grans face in them!!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Sounds like a load of bollocks....."

It could’ve been a lot worse to be fair

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By *ansexualPandaMan
over a year ago

Might Be Close

"What happens if you make a mistake? Will you get the sack?"

I thought getting the sack WAS making a mistake

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Sounds lovely am I allowed to pay in kind for services rendered

Are you offering to pay to shave someone’s nackers???

you’ll be skint in no time

God no what I mean if I come in and get shaved can I pay the owner in kind ha ha

I’ll let you shave my bollocks

Wasn’t the paying in kind I was thinking

I was more thinking me over a table knickers down style paying in kind ha ha

Make sure you get delux service then and get your bumhole done as well

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By *irtydevil666Man
over a year ago

bristol

"Sounds like a load of bollocks.....

It could’ve been a lot worse to be fair

You will need a load of bollocks for the shop to survive....

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By *odgerMooreMan
over a year ago

Up Your Frock!

"Will whoever i meet be able to see their face in their new shininess? Even though they may look 100 years older with the wrinkles… I want a woman to say oooh todge your balls are so shiny I can see my grans face in them!!

Unless its Glasgow.. where most grans are in their late 20’s!!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

It will be like that FaceApp that makes you look older

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Sounds lovely am I allowed to pay in kind for services rendered

Are you offering to pay to shave someone’s nackers???

you’ll be skint in no time

God no what I mean if I come in and get shaved can I pay the owner in kind ha ha

I’ll let you shave my bollocks

Wasn’t the paying in kind I was thinking

I was more thinking me over a table knickers down style paying in kind ha ha

Make sure you get delux service then and get your bumhole done as well

Ha ha

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Sounds like a load of bollocks.....

It could’ve been a lot worse to be fair

You will need a load of bollocks for the shop to survive....

I could’ve dropped a bollock here with this idea

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By *weetiepie99Woman
over a year ago

cardiff

"I will get shaky hands, so i'm afraid i'm out as their nackers may get nicked, or nuked

Fuck sake

I don’t want my plums looking like a day old chick

Isn't that what they look like now? Anything i do will be an improvement, less furry

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm nervously applying, I've very little experience & a nervous twitch..... but I've got tits should I need to apologise

Mrs C

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By *irtydevil666Man
over a year ago

bristol

"Sounds like a load of bollocks.....

It could’ve been a lot worse to be fair

You will need a load of bollocks for the shop to survive....

The bumhole service may make it work...

I could’ve dropped a bollock here with this idea

The bumhole service may help it survive....

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I will get shaky hands, so i'm afraid i'm out as their nackers may get nicked, or nuked

Fuck sake

I don’t want my plums looking like a day old chick

Isn't that what they look like now? Anything i do will be an improvement, less furry

They look like Clint Eastwood these days

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I'm nervously applying, I've very little experience & a nervous twitch..... but I've got tits should I need to apologise

Mrs C "

Tits you say?

You start on Monday. Don’t be late

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'm nervously applying, I've very little experience & a nervous twitch..... but I've got tits should I need to apologise

Mrs C

Tits you say?

You start on Monday. Don’t be late

Well that was simple enough, thanks boss

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Sounds like a load of bollocks.....

It could’ve been a lot worse to be fair

You will need a load of bollocks for the shop to survive....

The bumhole service may make it work...

I’m hoping it keeps me ticking over the Christmas period

I could’ve dropped a bollock here with this idea

The bumhole service may help it survive....

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I'm nervously applying, I've very little experience & a nervous twitch..... but I've got tits should I need to apologise

Mrs C

Tits you say?

You start on Monday. Don’t be late

Well that was simple enough, thanks boss

Bring your own talc puffer with you

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By *ickshawedCouple
over a year ago

Wolverhampton

"PS you can keep the tips cause I’m a good boss

Oooh, can I keep *all* the tips and make my own circumcision necklace?

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By *weetiepie99Woman
over a year ago

cardiff

"I will get shaky hands, so i'm afraid i'm out as their nackers may get nicked, or nuked

Fuck sake

I don’t want my plums looking like a day old chick

Isn't that what they look like now? Anything i do will be an improvement, less furry

They look like Clint Eastwood these days

He's handsome, as i'm sure your nackers are

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By *issYeuxBleusWoman
over a year ago

My boudoir - S Wales

This is my dream job. I will include a lathering ball massage.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"PS you can keep the tips cause I’m a good boss

Oooh, can I keep *all* the tips and make my own circumcision necklace?

I’ll give you my tip

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I will get shaky hands, so i'm afraid i'm out as their nackers may get nicked, or nuked

Fuck sake

I don’t want my plums looking like a day old chick

Isn't that what they look like now? Anything i do will be an improvement, less furry

They look like Clint Eastwood these days

He's handsome, as i'm sure your nackers are

Not really. They’re growl at me when I go for a piss

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"This is my dream job. I will include a lathering ball massage. "

Can you bring some towels cause I’ve not bought them yet

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

*Fellow work mates

I'm starting to suspect our new boss is a wrong un

Mrs C

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By *ickshawedCouple
over a year ago

Wolverhampton

"PS you can keep the tips cause I’m a good boss

Oooh, can I keep *all* the tips and make my own circumcision necklace?

I’ll give you my tip

For keeps?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"*Fellow work mates

I'm starting to suspect our new boss is a wrong un

Mrs C "

You don’t know the half of it

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"PS you can keep the tips cause I’m a good boss

Oooh, can I keep *all* the tips and make my own circumcision necklace?

I’ll give you my tip

For keeps?

No, you can have the first 7inches of it

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By *weetiepie99Woman
over a year ago

cardiff

"I will get shaky hands, so i'm afraid i'm out as their nackers may get nicked, or nuked

Fuck sake

I don’t want my plums looking like a day old chick

Isn't that what they look like now? Anything i do will be an improvement, less furry

They look like Clint Eastwood these days

He's handsome, as i'm sure your nackers are

Not really. They’re growl at me when I go for a piss

Give them a little stroke then and they'll be purring

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I will get shaky hands, so i'm afraid i'm out as their nackers may get nicked, or nuked

Fuck sake

I don’t want my plums looking like a day old chick

Isn't that what they look like now? Anything i do will be an improvement, less furry

They look like Clint Eastwood these days

He's handsome, as i'm sure your nackers are

Not really. They’re growl at me when I go for a piss

Give them a little stroke then and they'll be purring

Ooofffttt, now we’re talking

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By *riar BelisseWoman
over a year ago

Bliss

Yes I'm up for waxing bollocks

Will happily do arse cheeks as well, my name badge can read "no pain no gain"

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By *B69Woman
over a year ago

Wiltshire

I’m handy with the hot wax, would love to do a back sack and crack

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Yes I'm up for waxing bollocks

Will happily do arse cheeks as well, my name badge can read "no pain no gain"

Waxing!!!!

but that’ll make my customers eyes water

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I’m handy with the hot wax, would love to do a back sack and crack

Don’t drip the wax on my customers Bobbies Helmets

I’ll end up getting sued

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By *RANDMRSJAECouple
over a year ago

chester

You need references?

If I get healthcare and company car then I’m totes applying !!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"You need references?

If I get healthcare and company car then I’m totes applying !!

You already have 2 references I see

As for a company vehicle. You’ll get to ride the bosses chopper every week if your lucky

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By *riar BelisseWoman
over a year ago

Bliss

"Yes I'm up for waxing bollocks

Will happily do arse cheeks as well, my name badge can read "no pain no gain"

Waxing!!!!

but that’ll make my customers eyes water

Yep I'll sit quietly in the corner until the masochists come in

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Yes I'm up for waxing bollocks

Will happily do arse cheeks as well, my name badge can read "no pain no gain"

Waxing!!!!

but that’ll make my customers eyes water

Yep I'll sit quietly in the corner until the masochists come in

Can we charge extra for this?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm a pro with the wax strips, does this help?

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By *weetiepie99Woman
over a year ago

cardiff

"I will get shaky hands, so i'm afraid i'm out as their nackers may get nicked, or nuked

Fuck sake

I don’t want my plums looking like a day old chick

Isn't that what they look like now? Anything i do will be an improvement, less furry

They look like Clint Eastwood these days

He's handsome, as i'm sure your nackers are

Not really. They’re growl at me when I go for a piss

Give them a little stroke then and they'll be purring

Ooofffttt, now we’re talking

Meeooww

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I'm a pro with the wax strips, does this help? "

Why is everyone so obsessed with pain?

I’m a friendly barber you know

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By *ickshawedCouple
over a year ago

Wolverhampton

"PS you can keep the tips cause I’m a good boss

Oooh, can I keep *all* the tips and make my own circumcision necklace?

I’ll give you my tip

For keeps?

No, you can have the first 7inches of it

How generous. Who are you saving the other 6 inches for?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'm a pro with the wax strips, does this help?

Why is everyone so obsessed with pain?

I’m a friendly barber you know

Doesn't hurt if you do it properly and hold the skin tight.......

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"If you get crabs its a good thing as they tend to trim the s away my tip of the day

I’d offer a delicing service as well…… it’ll just be a pressure washer clean in the back yard

"
just like baby goats

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"PS you can keep the tips cause I’m a good boss

Oooh, can I keep *all* the tips and make my own circumcision necklace?

I’ll give you my tip

For keeps?

No, you can have the first 7inches of it

How generous. Who are you saving the other 6 inches for?

The other hole

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I'm a pro with the wax strips, does this help?

Why is everyone so obsessed with pain?

I’m a friendly barber you know

Doesn't hurt if you do it properly and hold the skin tight.......

Have you seen some of the ball bags on here?

Good luck with that

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By *irtydevil666Man
over a year ago

bristol

This sounds like a Sweeney Todd set up....

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"If you get crabs its a good thing as they tend to trim the s away my tip of the day

I’d offer a delicing service as well…… it’ll just be a pressure washer clean in the back yard

just like baby goats

I’ve never jet washed a baby goat before

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"This sounds like a Sweeney Todd set up...."

Plum crumble, with a nice chianti sssssssssssssssssssss

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By *riar BelisseWoman
over a year ago

Bliss

"Yes I'm up for waxing bollocks

Will happily do arse cheeks as well, my name badge can read "no pain no gain"

Waxing!!!!

but that’ll make my customers eyes water

Yep I'll sit quietly in the corner until the masochists come in

Can we charge extra for this?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Will there be styling options for those that don't want the Yul Brynner look. maybe a per, or a mohican, even a Lionel Blair cut?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

perm

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Yes I'm up for waxing bollocks

Will happily do arse cheeks as well, my name badge can read "no pain no gain"

Waxing!!!!

but that’ll make my customers eyes water

Yep I'll sit quietly in the corner until the masochists come in

Can we charge extra for this?

OK, I’m tentatively IN

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

veet instead?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Will there be styling options for those that don't want the Yul Brynner look. maybe a per, or a mohican, even a Lionel Blair cut?"

Mullets seem to be the ‘in thing’ at the moment

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By *RANDMRSJAECouple
over a year ago

chester

"You need references?

If I get healthcare and company car then I’m totes applying !!

You already have 2 references I see

As for a company vehicle. You’ll get to ride the bosses chopper every week if your lucky

I’d forgotten I’d applied for a new job

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"You need references?

If I get healthcare and company car then I’m totes applying !!

You already have 2 references I see

As for a company vehicle. You’ll get to ride the bosses chopper every week if your lucky

I’d forgotten I’d applied for a new job

My company’s ethos is ‘Be here now’

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By *RANDMRSJAECouple
over a year ago

chester

"You need references?

If I get healthcare and company car then I’m totes applying !!

You already have 2 references I see

As for a company vehicle. You’ll get to ride the bosses chopper every week if your lucky

I’d forgotten I’d applied for a new job

My company’s ethos is ‘Be here now’

Looks like I’m facing a disciplinary already

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"You need references?

If I get healthcare and company car then I’m totes applying !!

You already have 2 references I see

As for a company vehicle. You’ll get to ride the bosses chopper every week if your lucky

I’d forgotten I’d applied for a new job

My company’s ethos is ‘Be here now’

Looks like I’m facing a disciplinary already

Yes, I’ll discipline you

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What is this fine establishment going to be called ?

Rex's Close Shave

Polish your Jewels

Go ! Nads.

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By *inky_couple2020Couple
over a year ago

North West

Hot wax or cold wax?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Keeping up with the Cojones

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"What is this fine establishment going to be called ?

Rex's Close Shave

Polish your Jewels

Go ! Nads.

Shear lock combs

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Hot wax or cold wax?"

None of that nonsense in my salon. It’s a man’s man barbershop

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"What is this fine establishment going to be called ?

Rex's Close Shave

Polish your Jewels

Go ! Nads.

Shear lock combs

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By *inky_couple2020Couple
over a year ago

North West

"Keeping up with the Cojones

We'll have less of the "keeping it up" when I'm down there with a cutthroat razor

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"What is this fine establishment going to be called ?

Rex's Close Shave

Polish your Jewels

Go ! Nads.

Shear lock combs

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Keeping up with the Cojones

We'll have less of the "keeping it up" when I'm down there with a cutthroat razor

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Keeping up with the Cojones

We'll have less of the "keeping it up" when I'm down there with a cutthroat razor

You’ll be shaving manginas with one of those in your hand

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By *inky_couple2020Couple
over a year ago

North West

"Keeping up with the Cojones

We'll have less of the "keeping it up" when I'm down there with a cutthroat razor

You’ll be shaving manginas with one of those in your hand

I have a steady hand *does Mrs Doyle impression*

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Keeping up with the Cojones

We'll have less of the "keeping it up" when I'm down there with a cutthroat razor

You’ll be shaving manginas with one of those in your hand

I have a steady hand *does Mrs Doyle impression* "

Even my bumhole shrunk thinking about that

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By *odgerMooreMan
over a year ago

Up Your Frock!

"Hot wax or cold wax?

None of that nonsense in my salon. It’s a man’s man barbershop

Cut throat razor black friday 2 for one shave & vasectomy offer!!

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By *inky_couple2020Couple
over a year ago

North West

"Hot wax or cold wax?

None of that nonsense in my salon. It’s a man’s man barbershop

Cut throat razor black friday 2 for one shave & vasectomy offer!!

A nice cup of tea?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Hot wax or cold wax?

None of that nonsense in my salon. It’s a man’s man barbershop

Cut throat razor black friday 2 for one shave & vasectomy offer!!

No body needs plums on here anyway

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By *issYeuxBleusWoman
over a year ago

My boudoir - S Wales

"This is my dream job. I will include a lathering ball massage.

Can you bring some towels cause I’ve not bought them yet

I’ll blow dry them with my mouth

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"This is my dream job. I will include a lathering ball massage.

Can you bring some towels cause I’ve not bought them yet

I’ll blow dry them with my mouth "

You start on Monday

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By *issYeuxBleusWoman
over a year ago

My boudoir - S Wales

"This is my dream job. I will include a lathering ball massage.

Can you bring some towels cause I’ve not bought them yet

I’ll blow dry them with my mouth

You start on Monday

Yesssss!!!!! Do I get a uniform?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"This is my dream job. I will include a lathering ball massage.

Can you bring some towels cause I’ve not bought them yet

I’ll blow dry them with my mouth

You start on Monday

Yesssss!!!!! Do I get a uniform?"

Yes but it’s still got spunk stains on it from the last person who wore it

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By *issYeuxBleusWoman
over a year ago

My boudoir - S Wales

"This is my dream job. I will include a lathering ball massage.

Can you bring some towels cause I’ve not bought them yet

I’ll blow dry them with my mouth

You start on Monday

Yesssss!!!!! Do I get a uniform?

Yes but it’s still got spunk stains on it from the last person who wore it

I demand a clean uniform! I know my employee rights!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"This is my dream job. I will include a lathering ball massage.

Can you bring some towels cause I’ve not bought them yet

I’ll blow dry them with my mouth

You start on Monday

Yesssss!!!!! Do I get a uniform?

Yes but it’s still got spunk stains on it from the last person who wore it

I demand a clean uniform! I know my employee rights!"

I’ve had a think and if you’re going to work in a bollocks barbers then it’s only right that the barber is bollocko. I believe you have that uniform

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By *issYeuxBleusWoman
over a year ago

My boudoir - S Wales

"This is my dream job. I will include a lathering ball massage.

Can you bring some towels cause I’ve not bought them yet

I’ll blow dry them with my mouth

You start on Monday

Yesssss!!!!! Do I get a uniform?

Yes but it’s still got spunk stains on it from the last person who wore it

I demand a clean uniform! I know my employee rights!

I’ve had a think and if you’re going to work in a bollocks barbers then it’s only right that the barber is bollocko. I believe you have that uniform

I believed I have that uniform yes. Would you like that with or without hair?

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By *heVonMatterhornsCouple
over a year ago

Lincoln

Whens the grand opening? I could use a trim

LvM

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"This is my dream job. I will include a lathering ball massage.

Can you bring some towels cause I’ve not bought them yet

I’ll blow dry them with my mouth

You start on Monday

Yesssss!!!!! Do I get a uniform?

Yes but it’s still got spunk stains on it from the last person who wore it

I demand a clean uniform! I know my employee rights!

I’ve had a think and if you’re going to work in a bollocks barbers then it’s only right that the barber is bollocko. I believe you have that uniform

I believed I have that uniform yes. Would you like that with or without hair?

It’s only right that we practice what we preach at our barbers

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Whens the grand opening? I could use a trim

LvM"

Monday pal. I think you’ll be our first customer

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By *iltsTSgirlTV/TS
over a year ago

Chichester

"I am used to handling balls ... I have my own and am pretty good at using a razor/wax plus massage

I have my first employee. You start on Monday

Liberty Nut smoother and soother"

I have handled shall we say a large pool of mens nuts over the years

. so think I am very qualified for the job

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