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Dating and sex

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

I’m finding it hard to navigate this topic with people I meet outside of fab. Average Joe seems quite often put off by a sexual woman. It’s driving me nuts. Yes I want all the cute things, but what about dirty sex ffs… I want that too. But when I say I want someone to do something, or do something again, I seem met with resistance of “I don’t want to because you’ve expressed the wish/asked/whatever”. Or the other thing is when people act like it makes you shallow in some way? What are others perspectives on this because I’m obviously missing something on my end lol

Is this making sense to anyone and if so, how do others broach the topic?

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By *trawberry shortcake 9999Woman
over a year ago

Sudbury, Cambridge, Midlands

No your not missing anything, my last relationship was made complicated as my then partner struggled with me wanting to have sex and explore each other sexually So when I ended things I came back onto here and I am totally avoiding dating and relationships

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

People think that’s all you want in a relationship when i bring up the subject of sex … like nobody else does it or enjoys it?!

It’s not ALL that I want, but it’s a big part of what makes a relationship all groovy and all that. So I get heat ya’ op.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Story of my life….currently trying to take a break and distance myself to be able to work out how to get both

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By *ife NinjaMan
over a year ago

Dunfermline

Nowt up with a healthy sex life. Live it up ladies, you're all god damn gorgeous

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By *rettyflamingoCouple
over a year ago

Where the flamboyance of flamingos live

I am on a couple of other dating sites and on the first meeting have been totally upfront and honest about my lifestyle. Some men have found it a huge turn on while others have run for the hills. I’m in the early stages of dating someone and although he says he is open minded I’m still not sure if he actually is.

I want a relationship with someone but also have the cherry on the top of us both enjoying a swinging lifestyle. Is that possible I wonder ?

Good luck some men find it very intimidating

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By *ife NinjaMan
over a year ago

Dunfermline


"I am on a couple of other dating sites and on the first meeting have been totally upfront and honest about my lifestyle. Some men have found it a huge turn on while others have run for the hills. I’m in the early stages of dating someone and although he says he is open minded I’m still not sure if he actually is.

I want a relationship with someone but also have the cherry on the top of us both enjoying a swinging lifestyle. Is that possible I wonder ?

Good luck some men find it very intimidating "

Let's face it, most of us have been on dating sites the same time as being on here

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I am on a couple of other dating sites and on the first meeting have been totally upfront and honest about my lifestyle. Some men have found it a huge turn on while others have run for the hills. I’m in the early stages of dating someone and although he says he is open minded I’m still not sure if he actually is.

I want a relationship with someone but also have the cherry on the top of us both enjoying a swinging lifestyle. Is that possible I wonder ?

Good luck some men find it very intimidating "

Way to go! I rather have no dates than dating someone that might not understand my needs, both sexual and emotional

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By *ananaman41Man
over a year ago

Dublin


"I am on a couple of other dating sites and on the first meeting have been totally upfront and honest about my lifestyle. Some men have found it a huge turn on while others have run for the hills. I’m in the early stages of dating someone and although he says he is open minded I’m still not sure if he actually is.

I want a relationship with someone but also have the cherry on the top of us both enjoying a swinging lifestyle. Is that possible I wonder ?

Good luck some men find it very intimidating "

Its nothing to do with intimidating. Its just in general, men only want to date women with a low body count behind them.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

For me there's a distinct difference. If I'm seeing/dating someone in the outside world well then I sign off of here. Not put off by women who are into this lifestyle but that's a 2 way street them and I wouldn't date them with a view to forming a lasting relationship.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Then*

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By *rettyflamingoCouple
over a year ago

Where the flamboyance of flamingos live


"I am on a couple of other dating sites and on the first meeting have been totally upfront and honest about my lifestyle. Some men have found it a huge turn on while others have run for the hills. I’m in the early stages of dating someone and although he says he is open minded I’m still not sure if he actually is.

I want a relationship with someone but also have the cherry on the top of us both enjoying a swinging lifestyle. Is that possible I wonder ?

Good luck some men find it very intimidating

Its nothing to do with intimidating. Its just in general, men only want to date women with a low body count behind them. "

But why ? Is that because of their insecurities?

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By *ife NinjaMan
over a year ago

Dunfermline


"I am on a couple of other dating sites and on the first meeting have been totally upfront and honest about my lifestyle. Some men have found it a huge turn on while others have run for the hills. I’m in the early stages of dating someone and although he says he is open minded I’m still not sure if he actually is.

I want a relationship with someone but also have the cherry on the top of us both enjoying a swinging lifestyle. Is that possible I wonder ?

Good luck some men find it very intimidating

Its nothing to do with intimidating. Its just in general, men only want to date women with a low body count behind them.

But why ? Is that because of their insecurities? "

Never been particularly worried about 'body count' myself, but I'm a fossil. Maybe younger guys feel differently these days

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yh I get women falling for me after 6weeks because the sex is amazing.... only stay in this world for now lol..

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By *ananaman41Man
over a year ago

Dublin


"I am on a couple of other dating sites and on the first meeting have been totally upfront and honest about my lifestyle. Some men have found it a huge turn on while others have run for the hills. I’m in the early stages of dating someone and although he says he is open minded I’m still not sure if he actually is.

I want a relationship with someone but also have the cherry on the top of us both enjoying a swinging lifestyle. Is that possible I wonder ?

Good luck some men find it very intimidating

Its nothing to do with intimidating. Its just in general, men only want to date women with a low body count behind them.

But why ? Is that because of their insecurities? "

Nope, well i can only speak for myself, men generally dont find women who have had lots of sexual partners attractive for a relationship

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By *rettyflamingoCouple
over a year ago

Where the flamboyance of flamingos live


"I am on a couple of other dating sites and on the first meeting have been totally upfront and honest about my lifestyle. Some men have found it a huge turn on while others have run for the hills. I’m in the early stages of dating someone and although he says he is open minded I’m still not sure if he actually is.

I want a relationship with someone but also have the cherry on the top of us both enjoying a swinging lifestyle. Is that possible I wonder ?

Good luck some men find it very intimidating

Its nothing to do with intimidating. Its just in general, men only want to date women with a low body count behind them.

But why ? Is that because of their insecurities?

Never been particularly worried about 'body count' myself, but I'm a fossil. Maybe younger guys feel differently these days "

Your younger than me or so your profile says x

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By *issMBWoman
over a year ago

North East England

Yes I've encountered that too. I'm ethically non-monogamous and ideally would want a partner to be the same - only one relationship but each of us free to enjoy sex with other people (either separately or meeting other people together as a couple) BUT only if both are open and honest about it. If the honesty isn't there that's a problem for me. I like hearing the details anyway, love the idea of sending a partner off to enjoy sex with someone else then telling me all about it when they get home... its very difficult to find that with someone though.

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By *ife NinjaMan
over a year ago

Dunfermline


"I am on a couple of other dating sites and on the first meeting have been totally upfront and honest about my lifestyle. Some men have found it a huge turn on while others have run for the hills. I’m in the early stages of dating someone and although he says he is open minded I’m still not sure if he actually is.

I want a relationship with someone but also have the cherry on the top of us both enjoying a swinging lifestyle. Is that possible I wonder ?

Good luck some men find it very intimidating

Its nothing to do with intimidating. Its just in general, men only want to date women with a low body count behind them.

But why ? Is that because of their insecurities?

Never been particularly worried about 'body count' myself, but I'm a fossil. Maybe younger guys feel differently these days

Your younger than me or so your profile says x"

Only by a smidgen, and you look younger, and more attractive than me

Go for it lovely!

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By *dam1971Man
over a year ago

Bedford

I don’t think you’re the first woman to find just how fragile some blokes’ ego really is.

Confident, sex-positive and not ashamed to be vocal about it? Ooh, scary.

Good luck in your search, I agree that it really shouldn’t be so difficult

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By *rettyflamingoCouple
over a year ago

Where the flamboyance of flamingos live


"I am on a couple of other dating sites and on the first meeting have been totally upfront and honest about my lifestyle. Some men have found it a huge turn on while others have run for the hills. I’m in the early stages of dating someone and although he says he is open minded I’m still not sure if he actually is.

I want a relationship with someone but also have the cherry on the top of us both enjoying a swinging lifestyle. Is that possible I wonder ?

Good luck some men find it very intimidating

Its nothing to do with intimidating. Its just in general, men only want to date women with a low body count behind them.

But why ? Is that because of their insecurities?

Nope, well i can only speak for myself, men generally dont find women who have had lots of sexual partners attractive for a relationship "

But men can have as many partners as they like, such double standards about this still in our modern society

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By *rtyIanMan
over a year ago

Gateway to the Beacons


"I am on a couple of other dating sites and on the first meeting have been totally upfront and honest about my lifestyle. Some men have found it a huge turn on while others have run for the hills. I’m in the early stages of dating someone and although he says he is open minded I’m still not sure if he actually is.

I want a relationship with someone but also have the cherry on the top of us both enjoying a swinging lifestyle. Is that possible I wonder ?

Good luck some men find it very intimidating

Its nothing to do with intimidating. Its just in general, men only want to date women with a low body count behind them.

But why ? Is that because of their insecurities?

Nope, well i can only speak for myself, men generally dont find women who have had lots of sexual partners attractive for a relationship

But men can have as many partners as they like, such double standards about this still in our modern society "

Not all men

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By *ananaman41Man
over a year ago

Dublin


"I am on a couple of other dating sites and on the first meeting have been totally upfront and honest about my lifestyle. Some men have found it a huge turn on while others have run for the hills. I’m in the early stages of dating someone and although he says he is open minded I’m still not sure if he actually is.

I want a relationship with someone but also have the cherry on the top of us both enjoying a swinging lifestyle. Is that possible I wonder ?

Good luck some men find it very intimidating

Its nothing to do with intimidating. Its just in general, men only want to date women with a low body count behind them.

But why ? Is that because of their insecurities?

Nope, well i can only speak for myself, men generally dont find women who have had lots of sexual partners attractive for a relationship

But men can have as many partners as they like, such double standards about this still in our modern society "

Theres no double standard. A woman is free to find that distasteful in a man as well if she likes.

No double standard

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By *rtyIanMan
over a year ago

Gateway to the Beacons


"I am on a couple of other dating sites and on the first meeting have been totally upfront and honest about my lifestyle. Some men have found it a huge turn on while others have run for the hills. I’m in the early stages of dating someone and although he says he is open minded I’m still not sure if he actually is.

I want a relationship with someone but also have the cherry on the top of us both enjoying a swinging lifestyle. Is that possible I wonder ?

Good luck some men find it very intimidating "

Some encourage it

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By *lackshadow7Man
over a year ago

Toronto


"Yes I've encountered that too. I'm ethically non-monogamous and ideally would want a partner to be the same - only one relationship but each of us free to enjoy sex with other people (either separately or meeting other people together as a couple) BUT only if both are open and honest about it. If the honesty isn't there that's a problem for me. I like hearing the details anyway, love the idea of sending a partner off to enjoy sex with someone else then telling me all about it when they get home... its very difficult to find that with someone though."

I’m very upfront with any new sexual partners/ FWBs/ etc that i practise ENM, and that this is something they need to be fully okay with if things are to work.

Some will respond with calling you a “fuckboi” or some variant, which is hilarious given that i’m being open and communicative. Not everyone understands or accepts it. I just focus on those that do

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By *eatrice BadinageWoman
over a year ago

In a Sparkly Dress

Yep Nilla men run for the hills as soon as I mention something kinky, hence why I date on here instead

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By *issButtonWoman
over a year ago

Nottinghamshire

If anyone figures out the algorithm to finding a successful relationship with someone from within the lifestyle let me know! Lol! Xx

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