FabSwingers.com forum: Grief

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Lost my dad, and still not cried, I feel so guilty

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ittlemiss Hal O weenCouple
over a year ago

Southampton

I'm so very sorry for your loss, everyone grieves in different ways. Please don't be hard on yourself x

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *avexxMan
over a year ago

cheshire

sorry to hear about your loss,, i was the same when my dad died,, when your ready you will cry trust me,

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"Lost my dad, and still not cried, I feel so guilty "

So sorry for your loss.

Sometimes things are too sad even for tears. There isn't a correct way to grieve and don't let anyone tell you there is.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Lost my dad, and still not cried, I feel so guilty "

Don't feel guilty. Some people take longer to grieve. The tears will come. Most people go through every emotion. I'm sorry for you loss though.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

I can't agree that the tears will come. They might never appear and that's alright.

If you're struggling op Google Sue Ryder, you'll find acceptance and advice.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

[Removed by poster at 20/11/22 17:30:02]

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *espacito56Man
over a year ago

Orkney

"I'm so very sorry for your loss, everyone grieves in different ways. Please don't be hard on yourself x"

Quite right. I never cried when my dad died a few years back, or last year when my mum died. My wife of 40+ years died 3 months before mum, first week was a struggle but then I settled down.

Do not judge yourself, and sure as fuck don't accept anybody else judging you.

Grieve, or not, in your own way.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *atnip make me purrWoman
over a year ago

Reading

At others have said there is no right way to grieve. You may never cry over his death. You may still be feeling numb. Just do you, it's fine.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Lost my dad, and still not cried, I feel so guilty "

Give yourself some time and be kind to yourself. I never cried straight away when my Mum died.

There is no right or wrong way to feel, what you are feeing I exactly right for you

Sorry for your loss. Time and kindness is crucial right now, nothing else matters x

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

Hi op. I'm so sorry to here of your loss. I lost my partner last month and haven't cried. Grief hits us all in different ways. Take your time and look after yourself

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sorry for your loss its not a rule that you must cry to be sad and upset when faced with loss dont put too much into how people tell you to feel and react

They arnt you

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *uke olovingmanMan
over a year ago

Gravesend

Hey ...don't beat yourself up ...remember the good times

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *luebell888Woman
over a year ago

Glasgowish

Sorry to hear about your sad loss. I felt relief when my dad died as he suffered terrible pain for so long. I then felt anger at the cancer that killed him. The tears did come eventually and 22years later I still cry everytime I visit his grave

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *kiguy1234Man
over a year ago

Newport

It takes time ...everyone deals with it differently..

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

So sorry for your loss. I lost mine at the age of 12 and am still grieving. Yet I didn't shed a tear when my grandmother passed away, not even at her funeral. Grief affects people in different ways. Don't beat yourself up over it

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ackformore100Man
over a year ago

Tin town

"Lost my dad, and still not cried, I feel so guilty "

I'm sorry to hear that op. Sending thoughts your way. It may take a long time to process. Some of Us men often aren't good at processing emotions. You've more than enough to deal with, without feeling guilty as well.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *issmorganWoman
over a year ago

Calderdale innit

So sorry op

Don't be hard on yourself ,grief isn't the same for everyone ,take all the time you need and be kind to yourself x

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ittlebirdWoman
over a year ago

The Big Smoke

So sorry for your loss OP. You need to take your own time to deal with it. If you need an ear my inbox is always open. I’ve been there too

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Lost my dad, and still not cried, I feel so guilty "

Sorry for your loss. Big man hug. Don’t feel guilty about not crying everyone grieves in different ways. Not everyone cries. Don’t beat yourself up mate x

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ilmissplumpyWoman
over a year ago

Wolverhampton

Love or loss aren't measured by tears. We all grieve differently, no tears is OK, tears are okay too. Be kind to yourself & remember happier times xx

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *andyfloss2000Woman
over a year ago

ashford

Sorry to hear of your loss! Grief comes in all shapes and forms! X

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ustBoWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere in Co. Down

So sorry for your loss.People grieve differently and sometimes we cry and sometimes we don't. It doesn't mean you feel the grief any less if you don't so don't beat yourself up about it.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ORBCouple
over a year ago

Dundalk

[Removed by poster at 20/11/22 19:56:12]

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ORBCouple
over a year ago

Dundalk

Sorry for your loss op.

I lost my dad when I was 21 and it was many months later, maybe up to a year before I was able to grieve.

I took on all his responsibilities and didn't consider that I also needed to take time to grieve.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *vilgasamWoman
over a year ago

The dot in the i

Please don’t feel guilty, I lost my mum years 2/3 ago and as much as I want to even now, I still haven’t cried, sometimes we can’t and that’s ok

The pain from losing someone won’t heal, we learn to live around the hole created in our hearts, it’s theirs now, it’s how we carry them with us

Take care op, if you need anything we’re all here for you 100%

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ooBulMan
over a year ago

Missin’ Yo’ Kissin’

If it makes you feel better op, I didn't cry either when me da died either. He had a real shitty cancer in the end.

You are not alone! No, its not cos you are a guy & are tough.... If they put "Little House On the prairie" on I'm sure I'd go through a box of tissues faster than Ronaldo on the wing weeping! Didn't Tommy Docherty always used to say that(The L.H.O.T.P bit not Ronaldo)? That's how he knew he'd picked a tough midfielder!

I laugh about how when I'd cut myself being a clumsy boy & not watching what I was doing playing. When I ran to him he'd pick me up & say "oh that's not bad!" But blood would be gushing out of my head like a torrent & you could see right down to the bone. Then me ma would be goin' nuclear & saying "oh, don't be stupid he needs to go to hospital...." LOL.

As a teenager, we couldn't do DIY together as my mum would have to jump in the middle of us to stop us having a full on punch up. It got close but we never did.... But neither of us would back down.

I ended up learning DIY from me ma. She 's ace at most things. Never listened to any man telling her she could not do anything. Ahead of her time!

I dunno what to say to you? A relative said to me recently we see things that can't be wiped from our heads & wished we hadn't seen them but its just too late we had to!

We have had a lot of our clan die lately... No we are not Highlander! LOL.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *atriciayoiditTV/TS
over a year ago

hatfield

"Lost my dad, and still not cried, I feel so guilty "
grief...the price of love..

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *atriciayoiditTV/TS
over a year ago

hatfield

"Lost my dad, and still not cried, I feel so guilty "
grief is the price of love...as they say...and as love has no ending...so work that one out.?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Hey man, firstly, sorry for your loss, and secondly, speak to your GP about a good grief counsellor in your area. It will help you immensely, or maybe(I'd prefer the gp route though) even online grief forums. I lost my wife to cancer in August 19, and I thought I was dealing with it, but I wasn't. These things take time my dude, don't rush it, and don't feel guilty. We will all grieve loss very differently and in no right or wrong way. A good exercise to try , is to maybe write him a letter and read it at his grave to him. This helped me a hell of a lot too. But 100% , speak tour GP or local grief counselor.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *unInTheSun80sCouple
over a year ago

Costa Del Sol

Hi OP firstly sorry for your loss.

I lost my dad a few weeks and the last two weeks of his life were incredibly traumatic to watch.

I have experienced a great deal of loss and how I have processed each one has been completely different.

Grief is a personal thing and in my opinion there is no normal. But you should never feel guilty about how you choose to grieve. At the same time I have learned (thanks to years of therapy) you do have to do it. Although it can be incredibly hard and overwhelming to experience such horrible and complex emotions.

Take care of yourself and as the poster above mentioned maybe consider speaking to a professional. They can be a great help.

All the best

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

Post new Message to Thread